Chapter 28
Aliena
Sebastian is silent as I dig through my underwear drawer, reaching for the very back of it where I know my toys are hidden. Even with my back to him, my skin pricks with awareness of his gaze on me. I can’t believe I really agreed to it. I don’t know whether to be proud of myself for having let him in enough that I trust him with this or mortified.
When my fingers finally grasp onto the smooth surface of one of my toys, I let out a triumphant “aha”. Like an idiot, yes. Slightly sheepish, I turn around with the three different things in my hand. Three objects I never thought I’d show another living being, and yet a part of me is turned on by this perceived tabu.
I get on the bed next to him and lay them out. “You pick,” I offer.
His answering smirk is wicked. “Do I have to?” And god, but his unabashed flirting is turning me into a nervous, shy wreck. I’m so unused to these feelings, it’s not even funny.
Usually, I’m the unflappable one. The flirt, the tease, the seductress, how Mattheo used to call me. I wear my confidence like a shield, using it to come across as though nothing could hurt me .
I don’t have that safety net around Sebastian. Too much has happened between us, too many secrets revealed and walls lowered to put on an act around me.
It gives him the kind of power over me no one else has ever had, and I don’t possess the will to stop it.
Trying to cling to a semblance of normalcy, I act nonchalant as I shrug. “You can try your way through them and then decide which one you prefer, I guess.” I keep my voice level even though the thought makes me nervous as much as it excites me.
“Oh, I have every intention of seeing which one you prefer in action, Sweetheart.” A soft shiver rushes down my spine at the promise.
“Now, take your clothes off,” he adds, his voice unnaturally deep and authoritative. On their own command, my hands follow the order and I find myself topless in a few seconds. When I reach for the waistband of my pants, I’m a little more tentative.
I’ve never been particularly shy in the bedroom. Maybe this is just my being eager to please Sebastian. I feel like with him, it matters. Not that he would judge me more harshly than any one-night stand. I believe the contrary to be true for sure. I just never cared what any of them thought since I knew I’d never see them again.
I shrug out of my pants and underwear and then hesitate. Sebastian, probably seeing my nerves written all over me, reaches out and cups my face. He presses a tender kiss to my lips and when he pulls away, he’s smiling. It sends an uncomfortable pang right through my chest.
“Do you trust me, Sweetheart?” he asks softly, and I know that no matter what I replied, he’d accept it.
I nod .
“Good. Lie on your back,” he says next. I follow his command easily. “Put your hands above your head.”
He kneels next to my head and starts wrapping the silk around my wrists in a figure-eight, just tight enough to prohibit my getting free on my own but not so tight to restrain the blood flow to my hands. He tugs gently on the silk and then looks at me, seeming satisfied.
“Is it comfortable?” he asks.
“It’s perfect,” I confirm, my voice shaky.
“If you change your mind at any given time, just tell me.”
“Of course. Seb, you’re not introducing me to god knows what. I can still move my arms when it comes down to it. Stop worrying,” I tell him, no matter how cute his concern is. I can’t deal with that sort of thing.
Nodding, his lips turn into a dazzling smile once again. “Okay, then. I’d say we start with the black one. It looks the most harmless,” he announces, referring to my black, tear-shaped vibrator. Looking at me for approval, I merely nod.
So he picks up my toy and turns it on, startling when it buzzes to live almost aggressively. I can’t help it, I laugh at that. “There are different settings,” I provide. He beams at me.
“How lovely. So much to try out.” He quickly clicks through the settings before spreading my legs for him to kneel in between. A glance at my center is enough to tell him that although nothing has happened yet, I am already glistening with my arousal. He swallows, his eyes growing dark with obvious lust.
“Be a good girl and don’t move your hands, okay? Lest I have to get the rope from the other room and tie your wrists to the bedpost.” Not trusting my voice to be even anymore, I nod. He’s killing me here, letting me wait naked, tied up, and spread before him but not touching me. His words are the only caress I get, and every time he speaks in that deep, husky voice, it feels as if his lips were attached to my throbbing clit.
Finally, the rumbling of the vibrator breaks the silence in the room. Sebastian brings the pointy tip to the side of my right breast, watching me carefully as he draws a tight circle around my nipple. He repeats the notion on the other breast, never quite touching my nipple, and that alone has me whining for him to get on with this.
When the silky tip finally does brush over my pebbled skin, my back arches off the bed and my legs try to clench on instinct. Of course, Sebastian sitting in between them stops me from getting that sort of relief and I am left to lie there, writhing uselessly as he plays with my sensitive flesh.
By the time he moves on, trailing the toy down my stomach and heading where I really want him, I’m dripping onto the bed beneath me.
He widens his kneeling stance, forcing my legs apart too, and then moves the tip of the toy down the outside of my pussy. Left and right, he repeats that slowly without ever touching my clit or slit.
“Sebastian, please. Enough teasing,” I eventually beg. At the sight of his satisfied expression, I don’t even have it in me to feel embarrassed.
“But of course, my Sweetheart.” He brings the vibrator to my center, wetting it with my arousal before he brings it up to circle my clit. At the first contact with my swollen bundle of nerves, my body jerks violently. Sebastian’s unoccupied hand finds my stomach, pressing me down to keep me in place .
“Mh, maybe this is the wrong setting,” he finally muses, clicking the button to change it. The vibrations turn faster, almost so much so that the bussing is numbing. “No, this one won’t do,” Sebastian quickly realizes, pressing the button again.
This setting is inconsistent, going from soft to hard vibrations every few seconds. Sebastian clearly likes it. “Now, this looks like something suitable for edging,” he guesses right.
And so he does, repeatedly driving me to the edge with tight circles until my body is buzzing and I’m not even sure what a full-blown orgasm feels like. Hell, I’m so sensitive that every time the vibrator presses directly onto my clit, I damn near thrash on the bed.
“Seb, please, it’s too much,” I finally whimper, slumping against the mattress when the buzzing turns off.
Sebastian comes down to kiss me. “I love the way you beg,” he whispers against my lips. Then, pulling back, he adds, “Let’s grant your clit a short break and move on to this. Tell me, does this vibrate too?” he asks, motioning to the long, curved, slender vibrator.
I nod, and despite my hypersensitivity, my anticipation grows.
“Good to know. First things first though, drink this. Can’t have you dehydrated after losing so many fluids,” he teases, making me blush embarrassedly.
Between how he has me sweating and my pussy weeping, I guess he’s right, but it’s still a reality I never talked about with a sexual partner. I mean, just the word fluids sounds like a taboo.
Maybe that’s the downside of never having a steady partner. I am not used to having any sort of trust and casual comfort towards my hookups. Hence, the communication aspect of the entire ordeal is entirely new to me.
Sebastian, oblivious to my wandering thoughts, nudges a cool glass of water against my lips. I oblige, despite my discomfort at needing his help for such a mundane task. It’s not like my own hands are of any use right now.
Once he deems me hydrated enough, he sets the glass back on the nightstand and picks up the second vibrator. This time, the foreplay doesn’t last as long. No, he wets the toy by running it along my slit a few times before slowly starting to work it inside of me, all without turning it on.
When he meets an initial resistance, he pulls the toy out again and circles my entrance again. Then, he slowly pushes it further inside of me, making me gasp and arch off the bed. Shit, that’s really fucking cold.
“You okay?” he asks, running a soothing hand down my thigh. I nod.
“Just cold.”
“Oh, it’ll warm up in no time, I’m sure. I remember how hot your perfect pussy is,” he insists, starting to move it in and out of me. It’s shorter than his dick by far and has a smaller girth. Still, the curve of it repeatedly hits all the right spots inside of me and I quickly feel my tingles return.
When Sebastian turns on the vibrations, I finally cry out. Within seconds, I’m on the verge of an orgasm and realizing that, Sebastian quickly turns the toy off again. “Well, shit, Sweetheart, I think you just revealed your favorite. Or did all my edging before make you get there so fast?” he tsks.
I don’t answer, can’t answer. I’m too fucking frustrated. I want to come so bad, it’s almost painful. So I do the only thing I can do, I desperately clench around the toy inside of me, making myself moan .
Sebastian tuts playfully. “There, there, don’t go all solo on me. I decide when you come tonight.”
“Please,” I whine pathetically.
“Soon, baby. We have one more toy to try out. One I am very eager to try out,” he muses, looking where I know my wand lies.
Slowly, he pulls the second toy out of me, leaving me empty and aching but before I can be too sad about it, a dull buzzing noise bounces off the walls and my eyes snatch onto the wand he’s now holding. “I’ve seen this a lot,” he confesses, smiling wickedly.
And so he brings my last toy, already turned on, to my wet entrance like he’s done with those before. Once it’s wet and glistening, he turns it on and brings it to my throbbing clit.
Again, my legs try to close without success and so they shake around Sebastian’s body. My hands ball into fists with the effort to keep them above my head, my nails digging into my skin deliciously.
Feeling my pleasure build in my womb, immobile as I am, spreading tingles all the way to my toes, I moan, “Seb.” Whether it’s meant to tell him not to stop or to warn him of how close I am, I don’t know. All I know it that the next thing I know, my back is arching off the bed, my muscles tense, and my toes curl as I come hard.
Sebastian keeps the wand in place, riding me through the waves of pleasure until I’m slumping on the bed, my legs shaking and my hips writhing to get away from the stimulation.
The toy finally shuts off and I groan, unwilling to open my eyes again. Fuck, I’m beat. I hope the next thing on Sebastian’s plan is to give me a break because I need a second to regenerate .
I feel the bed dip under his disappearing weight and open my eyes to see him gather my toys. Then, he moves my arms so my tied hands are in front of me and covers me with a blanket, kissing my cheek. “I’ll clean these up and be right back to take care of you, okay, Sweetheart?”
Tired but happily sated, I nod, glad for a second to just lie here. Then, without another word or kiss, Sebastian rushes out of the room to go to the nearest bathroom, I assume.
I rest my eyes for a bit, listening to the water run nearby. It’s only then that I realize that I could use a bathroom break too, so I hope Sebastian will be back soon.
When his steps finally come closer, I’m so relieved I could cry. I really need to use the bathroom and the sound of continuously running water isn’t helping. If my guess is correct, I’d say he’s filling the tub for me. For all my discomfort with intimacy, I find myself smiling at the thought. He’d said he would take care of me. Just this once, I guess I’ll let him.
But when he steps into my room, I instantly know something is wrong and my smile drops. I try to straighten and sit up, bracing myself for whatever he’s about to say only to find myself incapable since my hands are still tied up.
The knot in my stomach tightens as I watch him pace the room, searching the ground for something. Finally, he finds his shirt on the floor next to the bed and hurriedly puts it on.
I swallow around the rejection clogging my throat, forcing myself to ask, “Seb? What’s wrong?”
As if he’d forgotten I was there at all, his eyes snap to mine, and he winces at the sight. That alone is like a bucket of ice dumped over my head. I mean, really? He winces at the sight of me?
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Aliena, but I have to go,” he rambles barely able to meet my eyes. It’s a good thing too because mine are currently blurring up and I can’t seem to stop it.
“What?” is all I ask, a broken whisper that makes him grimace again. Still, he won’t look at me, already inching toward the door.
“I know this isn’t what I promised but my mom just texted me. She needs me, I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he mumbles weakly, meeting my eyes just fleetingly and I realize he’s really leaving. Right now. While my hands are still tied up.
The lump in my throat is painful but I force myself to swallow around it and say, “Wait, Seb,” trying to get him to look back and realize that I need his help to free my hands. Only that he is no longer standing in the doorway and wherever he is, my voice isn’t loud enough to reach him.
So I just lie there for the minute it takes him to leave and get to the elevator below. As soon as I hear the ding announcing his departure, the first sob wrenches itself from my throat, unreasonable betrayal settling deep in my chest and chasing away all the warmth he placed there before.
He just left. After promising he’d take care of me. He left first. That realization hits me like a ton of bricks. As does the rejection that follows closely. This is what I’ve always been scared of, why I have all those rules about leaving first set in place. So I don’t feel like an unwanted ragdoll, tossed to the side and done with.
I try to tell myself not to take this so personally. His mother is family, and if she needs him, she’s his first priority rightly so. After all, he’s not my boyfriend. Cuddling after sex is boyfriend stuff. Our mistake was disregarding those lines by sleeping together every night.
But I’m still fucking tied up and incapable of getting out on my own. I can feel myself panicking at my utter helplessness as I try to tug my wrists apart. They don’t budge, the silk not giving me an inch to possibly slip out. My next breath stalls in my throat. I can’t get out of this.
The sense of utter helplessness washes over me, and I can sense the color draining from my face. It makes me feel powerless and weak. Incapable.
It reminds me too much of my incapability of changing my shitty situation growing up. Too much of my mother and the times my father would take his anger out on me. Always out of control. Always helpless.
A familiar weight settles on my chest, heavy and suffocating. I scream through the tears, trying and failing to rip my hands from my restraints. I can’t believe this is happening. Can’t believe I’m having a fucking panic attack, tied up, naked, and alone.