Pieces of Home

69. Chapter Sixty-Eight

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Rye

Mom (8:35 p.m.): We just got back on the ship! We’re having a great time! Last stop is tomorrow in Sitka (oh, then Victoria on Thursday), and then we’ll be back on land on Friday, home Saturday.

Mom (8:36 p.m.): I miss you so much, and I can’t wait to see you!!!

Mom (8:42 p.m.): Tanya and Jon say hi, but they’re off to catch a show. I’m heading to dinner, then turning in early.

Mom (8:43 p.m.): Love you!!! 3 3 3

Rye glanced at the clock in the top right-hand corner of his phone screen and frowned. “Mom texted an hour ago, and I missed it. She’s probably been worrying the entire time.”

Jake hummed a noncommittal response but continued trailing a path of fluttery kisses along Rye’s jaw and then down to Rye’s neck. Each kiss was slower than the last as Jake worked his way down to the base of Rye’s neck, and Rye moaned and tilted his head back.

“Mmm, and this is why I missed her texts. Think I should tell her that? Sorry, Mom, I didn’t hear the notifications on my phone because Jake was—” Rye sucked in a breath as Jake did something different, he wasn’t even quite sure what—but it was warm and a little wet, and it sent a rush of heat to Rye’s groin. “Ahh.”

He dropped the phone on the couch behind him and then returned his hand to Jake’s chest. His toes curled as Jake did the same thing again—hot and wet and with a little pressure right at the base of Rye’s neck. Maybe he was... using his tongue. Tasting Rye’s skin. Licking and sucking and—

The mental image sent another rush of heat through him, and this time, Rye groaned. Jake seemed to back off then, his kisses softening and beginning to work their way back up Rye’s neck. And when Jake reached Rye’s jawline, he paused and hummed against Rye’s skin.

“You should probably text her back so she doesn’t worry,” Jake murmured, his lips still close. The heat of his breath warmed Rye’s cheek.

“Mmm, yeah.”

Reluctantly, Rye pulled back and shifted to face away from Jake while picking up his phone. He sent a quick text to his mom, though it would have been quicker if Jake’s fingers hadn’t teased along the curve of his neck, brushing his hair back to give Jake’s lips a path to kiss.

Rye hurriedly hit send and tossed his phone back on the couch. Then he scooted backward until he was leaning up against Jake’s solid chest. Jake’s arm slipped around Rye’s midsection.

“Is this okay?” Jake asked, his lips still grazing Rye’s neck as his fingers began tracing a path low along Rye’s stomach, over the top of Rye’s T-shirt.

It was. It was more than okay. It was incredible. In fact, Rye almost said it wasn’t enough, he wanted more. Instead, he just nodded and breathed a shaky “yes,” and Jake continued with his slow, gentle exploration.

Their last few days together had ended much like this. In the mornings, they’d gotten up, followed Jake’s morning routine, and had breakfast. Afterward, Rye had gone to work, and at lunchtime, Jake had come back into town to meet him. When he’d gotten home after work, they’d cooked dinner together, watched some TV or played video games with Phil online, and then... cuddled on the couch. Usually kind of late, usually until Rye had fallen asleep in Jake’s arms, with Jake lightly tracing his fingers up and down Rye’s forearm.

Jake had continued to be so patient and careful with him, especially after last week. But they hadn’t shied away from starting to explore each other more. Rye had discovered how much he loved the feel of running his fingers through Jake’s chest hair, and Jake seemed to be obsessed with kissing every inch of Rye’s neck.

Rye longed for more, though. And he was pretty sure Jake did too, although Jake hadn’t made it obvious and had never, ever pushed him for something he didn’t feel ready for .

He hadn’t touched himself again after that first night, but every night when he’d gone to bed, he’d thought about it. And he’d thought about how it might feel to touch Jake. Or to have Jake touch him .

Jake’s hand paused, his palm flat against Rye’s stomach, and Rye let out a low moan and tilted his head back and to the side to give Jake more room to keep kissing his neck. Jake obliged, and he did that thing again, probably with his tongue, that had Rye’s heart racing and his breath short.

“Do that again,” he said, and then he groaned as Jake complied. It was his tongue, hot and wet, swirling in that spot . Heady desire tugged at him, and he wanted something more. Something else. Something .

He brought his hand up to rest on top of Jake’s, and he held his breath as he slowly directed Jake’s hand, first out to his hip and then down under the hem of his shirt. Jake paused, however, his lips still caressing Rye’s neck, as the tips of his fingers met the bare skin of Rye’s stomach.

“You’re sure?” Jake whispered against him, and Rye nodded.

“Yes,” he said. Then he sucked in a breath through his teeth and closed his eyes as Jake hummed against his skin and... continued on. Warm fingers stroked lightly but confidently just above the waistband of Rye’s pajama pants.

“Still okay?”

“Yes,” he repeated.

“M’kay.”

Rye took a long, slow breath to try to steady himself, but when Jake’s fingertips grazed across his skin again, he suddenly felt so warm and tingly all over, his skin buzzing, seared from the touch.

“Oh, that’s—that’s good,” he said, and another moan escaped him as he brought his hand up to thread his fingers through Jake’s hair.

Jake kissed him again and again, lightly, slowly, sensually, and Rye melted back into him, enjoying every second. When Jake paused, his hand starting to drift upward carefully, Rye preemptively nodded and breathed out a rough “please,” giving his consent.

And so, Jake continued. Just a little higher, still light, slow, careful.

Rye’s heart thrummed, and his chest ached with want for more. And low in his groin, his arousal pulsed with that deeper need and want he’d only recently started to know.

Maybe . . . they should slow down after all.

Rye dismissed the thought as soon as it came, and in fact, he did the opposite. He turned his head and tugged gently on Jake, bringing their mouths together in a kiss that quickly deepened, and with his other hand, he reached up under his shirt, covered Jake’s hand, and pushed him up farther .

He broke the kiss a moment later when Jake moaned into his mouth, and he let his head fall forward. His breaths were coming in fast pants, and his heart raced. And he... god, he...

“Jake,” he said, breathlessly. “Jake, I . . .”

“Hmm?”

Want pulsed through him in another strong wave, at least that was what he thought the feeling was. He made some needy little sound and pushed Jake’s hand higher still and then over until the tips of Jake’s fingers barely brushed just under Rye’s nipple.

The touch sent a jolt through him, and he sucked in another of those sharp breaths and pulled his hand away as he pressed his body back into Jake.

“Too much?” Jake’s hand started to drift downward, but Rye shook his head.

“No, no. Do it again. Please.” He was begging, wasn’t he? He felt like he was begging. And his body was on fire, his chest hot, his skin tingly, his...

His hand fell to his thigh. High on his thigh. Just inches from where his shaft was growing harder. Demanding. Like it had the other night.

He pressed his hand against his leg, hard , hoping to ease the feeling, but it didn’t do much except make him want to let his hand move higher. And when Jake touched him again, his fingers teasing ever so lightly over Rye’s nipple, Rye shuddered as his shaft throbbed. He pressed his hand down into his thigh more and scrunched his eyes shut tightly.

Jake repeated the motion, letting just the tips of his fingers brush over Rye’s nipple, and Rye nearly came undone right there. God. God, it felt good.

But then for just a short second, he froze and couldn’t breathe. Jake was now kissing his neck, his hand smoothing back down to Rye’s stomach. And Rye fought with himself as his mind played little tricks on him. Flashing back to one of many moments. A nonspecific moment, even. When he’d been touched like Jake was touching him just now. But rougher. Much rougher. The man behind him, with an arm wrapped around him. Hurting him.

“Rye?”

Jake had stopped. His mouth was no longer on Rye’s neck, and his hand had slipped out from under Rye’s shirt and was lightly resting on Rye’s upper arm.

Rye sucked in a breath, and he shuddered as he exhaled. Then he turned back around and buried his face in Jake’s chest, trying to keep his body from shaking. Jake’s arms wrapped around him carefully.

“ That was too much,” Jake said softly.

Rye wanted to disagree. He wanted to shake his head and tell Jake no, keep going, he wanted that again. But that would obviously not be the smart thing to do. At minimum, he needed a minute. Or five .

Because he needed to get the rotten memory that had resurfaced out of his head.

Jake’s touch hadn’t been too much, not exactly. It had just reminded him of things he didn’t really want to ever have to think about again, and especially not when he was here, cuddled up in Jake’s arms, exploring this new level of intimacy. He needed to explain that to Jake, but in a little while, maybe after his racing heart slowed.

So he didn’t answer. He just stayed there, letting Jake’s warmth surround him and calm him.

After a few minutes, Jake kissed the top of his head. “You have work tomorrow morning, yeah?”

He nodded, because he did. “Yeah. Um, nine to noon. Just—just a half day. Janice is closing the store early.”

“Ah, okay.” A hand rubbed lightly along Rye’s arm. “Then we should probably get to bed, huh? It’s getting late. And I mean, this has been a lot. I don’t want to—”

“I’m sorry,” Rye cut in, pushing back to look up at his boyfriend. Any lingering shame and guilt immediately faded as he saw the love in Jake’s eyes. He forced a small smile and then said, quietly, “That was all amazing, and I love how you’re—you’re so careful and gentle with me. I loved all of it. You didn’t do anything wrong, and—and it wasn’t too much. I just remembered something, and I don’t...”

He trailed off and then pushed away from Jake more, closing his eyes as he pulled his knees up to his chest. He wanted to stay in Jake’s arms, he didn’t like this space between them. But he realized he probably needed the space if he didn’t want to have to push himself away again later. And that was the last thing he wanted to happen tonight. So, he turned his head sideways, resting his temple on his knee, and he continued.

“You didn’t hurt me just now, and it wasn’t too much,” Rye repeated. “But I was reminded of when... when he had hurt me.” And because Rye didn’t want Jake to misunderstand him, he added, “I loved you touching me. I-I wanted... more. I hope we can... do more. Soon.”

Jake was watching him with so much love and concern that Rye could feel it, even with the little bit of space between them. He set his hand down on the couch and slid it over toward Jake. Carefully, Jake shifted and reached out as well, until just his fingertips grazed along the back of Rye’s hand. Rye closed his eyes, feeling some of the warmth return to him.

He inhaled a short breath and opened his eyes again to see Jake nodding.

“When you’re ready and not before then. Okay? ”

Rye nodded, and he turned his hand over and waited until Jake’s palm flattened against his. Then he closed his eyes and sighed a slow, quiet sigh that was part longing and part sadness.

Soon. He really did hope it would be soon.

Rye lay in the bed in the extra bedroom, staring up at the ceiling. He was cold, even though he’d burrowed under the comforter, and the little bit of sadness he’d felt just before he and Jake had gone to get ready for bed still lingered. He’d been in bed now for maybe about an hour, but he hadn’t been able to fall asleep. And actually, he sort of didn’t want to sleep, because what he really wanted was down the hallway.

He frowned and sat up, staring off at the door to the bedroom, which was open wide, as always. And he bit his lip.

Since coming to bed, he’d been distracted by thoughts of... Jake. And he’d been remembering back to every time he and Jake had taken a new step with their relationship. First hugging. Then holding hands. Rye kissing Jake’s knuckles, then his lips, then touching Jake’s stomach and chest. Cuddling together in bed. For every one of their firsts, Rye had been the one to initiate. And for every one of their firsts, Rye had started by trying to be comfortable with him touching Jake, not the other way around, in a situation where he was in clear control.

He knew he wanted more with Jake, and despite the little setback earlier, he sort of... felt like he was ready. Or at least, he was maybe ready to try to initiate again.

Jake wouldn’t be the one to ask Rye to come to his bed or to touch him; Jake really would just wait for Rye to ask, when he was ready. Which was probably exactly what Jake should do.

An ache—another of those painful mixtures of longing and sadness, like that he’d felt on the couch earlier—tugged at him, and he scooted over to the edge of the bed and stood, tucking his hands under his arms to keep them warm. Then he crept silently across the room to the bedroom door and peeked out, down the hallway. Jake’s door was cracked open just a few inches, like usual, and when Rye stepped out into the hallway, he saw darkness through the crack. He bit his lip.

If he asked Jake if he could join him in bed, the light would have to be on. Jake hadn’t seemed to mind that before, when they’d stayed in the hotel together. But this was different. This was in Jake’s home. In Jake’s own bedroom .

“It doesn’t bother me to have to be careful about certain things, it won’t scare me away. And you’re worth it. You’re everything to me.”

Jake’s words from days ago filled his heart, and he took a small step down the hallway. Then another and another, until he was just in front of Jake’s door. He still couldn’t hear Jake’s snoring, and he wondered if maybe Jake had been having just as much trouble sleeping as Rye had. He lifted a hand and, after a second of hesitation, knocked lightly on the doorframe.

“Jake?” His voice wavered on the single word, but he heard an immediate response from inside the room, a quiet cough and some rustling. He closed his eyes so he didn’t even have to see the sliver of darkness through the crack.

“Hmm? Um, yeah, I... Um, you can come in. And turn on the light. Do you need me to?”

There was more rustling, and Rye heard Jake’s feet hit the floor. He didn’t want Jake to have to get out of bed for him, however, so he gathered all of his courage and reached in through the partly open door and flipped the light switch on. Then he forced his eyes back open as he pushed on the door a smidge.

Jake was sitting on the edge of his bed, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light. He ran a hand through his hair, and as their eyes met, he gave Rye one of his wonderful, kind smiles.

More warmth spread through Rye’s chest, and he bit his lip again and gave Jake a tiny, awkward wave. “Sorry, I, um... couldn’t sleep, and y-you can say no, but I wanted to ask if I can come in here and sleep... with you.” The words came out almost all on one breath, and Rye’s cheeks suddenly felt hot as he stared at Jake. Jake’s hair was a mess, and he wore only sleep shorts and a T-shirt. And the heat from Rye’s cheeks shot lower as he forgot himself for a second, his eyes following a path down Jake’s bare leg—it was his bad leg, but the scarring along Jake’s thigh wasn’t what had pulled Rye’s attention. It was the sparse layer of dark hair covering most of Jake’s leg.

Rye’s fingers curled up against his palm as he imagined running his hand along—

“I would love that,” Jake said softly, and he pushed himself up to stand.

Rye tore his eyes away from Jake’s legs. “Yeah?” he asked.

Jake nodded and offered Rye his hand. “Very much. I actually couldn’t sleep either. I was, uh, worried about you, after... earlier.”

Rye frowned as he stepped through the doorway, fighting the urge to apologize again. He made his way over to meet Jake at the side of the bed, slipping his hand into Jake’s as soon as he got close enough. Then he melted into Jake’s embrace, and he stood there, basking in the warmth.

He suddenly wasn’t cold at all anymore .

“Do you want to sleep on this side again? That seemed to work out well the other day,” Jake asked.

When Rye nodded, Jake kissed his forehead, and then the two of them climbed into bed and under the covers, snuggling up together as though they’d done it a hundred times already. Rye almost asked about the light, just to make sure it wasn’t going to bother Jake, but before he could speak up, Jake rubbed his arm lightly and said, “You know, I kind of like having the light on.”

Rye huffed a small laugh and shook his head. “No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do,” Jake argued, “because then, when I open my eyes, I get to see the most beautiful sight in the world.”

Rye rolled his eyes as Jake reached up to brush Rye’s hair back behind his ear.

“Really, it’s true.” Jake leaned in and kissed the tip of Rye’s nose. “You are beautiful, and I just love that you’re here with me.”

That deep down feeling that everything was good began to spread, pushing away any of Rye’s lingering unease from earlier, and he breathed in slowly, closed his eyes, and let his hand settle in the middle of Jake’s chest. After a few minutes, Jake’s hand came up to cover his.

“Good night, Rye,” Jake whispered, his thumb rubbing across the back of Rye’s knuckles.

Rye didn’t answer right away, because he still wanted something more, but he had to gather all of his courage to ask for it. So he closed his eyes, and when he was ready, he said, “I realized something. When I was in bed in the other room, I mean.” He tilted his chin so he could see Jake’s face, but Jake was looking down toward where their hands were joined under the blanket, so he continued. “I-I realized that I want to try something else tonight. If... if it’s okay with you.”

That got Jake’s attention, and he pursed his lips and shifted his gaze to Rye. His warm, kind eyes only made Rye feel even better about his decision.

Mustering up his courage, Rye let his hand start drifting lower on Jake’s chest. It pulled the blanket down slightly with it. “I want to touch you,” Rye whispered, surprised at the roughness in his tone. He cleared his throat. “If you want me to.”

Jake’s eyes widened, but he didn’t answer right away, and instead, he looked away, his gaze dropping back to where Rye’s hand continued lower, working its way down Jake’s stomach now.

He stopped at the hem of Jake’s shirt, though he curled his fingers under it, and then he waited, his heart pounding. Would Jake say no? He could. He could say no if he wasn’t ready or didn’t want to, or he could say no if he... didn’t want to deal with Rye struggling again. Rye frowned and opened his mouth to apologize as he started to move his hand back up.

Jake’s hand stopped him .

“I do want that,” Jake said. “I want that very, very much.”

Rye’s heart stuttered at the deep reverberation of Jake’s voice in his chest, and he swallowed hard. “Good. Good.” He glanced down to where his hand rested low on Jake’s stomach, his fingers still hooked under the hem of Jake’s shirt. “I... I hope this feels good. You’ll have to . . . to tell me.”

“I know it will,” Jake answered, with much more certainty than Rye felt. “It’s already... Just this, just you being here and...” Jake hesitated and then laughed lightly, almost shyly, Rye thought. “Let’s just say, I’m not sure I’m going to last very long.”

Rye almost laughed, too, and he wanted to counter with “I’m sure you’ll last longer than I did the other night.” But he said nothing. And instead, he gave Jake a small smile, propped himself up on his elbow, and then bent down and captured Jake’s lips in a sweet, slow kiss. At the same time, he pushed the blanket off Jake’s upper body and down past his thighs.

“You’re not cold, are you?” Rye asked as he broke the kiss. Jake’s eyes were still closed, and he shook his head. “Okay, good.” Because I want to watch.

He couldn’t quite bring himself to say the words, but Jake blushed fiercely and gave Rye a knowing nod. And Rye smiled. Then he bent down and kissed Jake again as his hand traveled up under Jake’s shirt. The kiss was short, mostly because Rye found he couldn’t really concentrate both on what he was doing—his hand traveling up Jake’s chest, exploring every inch—while also kissing Jake. When he pulled back, he watched Jake’s face for a moment, studying every little twitch in his jaw muscles, the slight tension in his brow, the way his eyes closed tighter when Rye’s fingers brushed over Jake’s stiff nipple. Then, Rye let his eyes wander downward. Jake’s shirt had lifted much of the way up, exposing the taut muscles of his stomach and chest, his naturally tanned skin covered in a light dusting of dark hair.

Can you take your shirt off so I can see all of you?

The words formed in his head as he paused with his hand in the middle of Jake’s chest. But instead of saying that, something else came out, an unexpected mess of half-formed, unintelligible sentences. “H-he never d-did. He never asked. He just—and so—he just took what he wanted.” Rye buried his face into Jake’s bunched up shirt, shame and embarrassment rattling him.

Why had all of that come out? Why did he keep messing everything up?

He shook his head. “Sorry, sorry, I j-just wanted to ask if you could take off your shirt. Th-that’s all.”

“I can do that,” Jake said quietly. “Here, scoot back for a sec.”

Rye complied, and he kept his eyes closed for some reason as the bed shifted. When Jake stopped moving, Rye cautiously opened one eye and then the other, and even though the sting of embarrassment still bothered him, he forgot everything for a moment as he stared.

“Oh, wow. You’re...” He couldn’t even begin to try to pick out the right word to describe Jake.

Gorgeous came to mind. Incredible. Perfect.

Mine.

He reached out to touch Jake again, his eyes still scanning the expanse of muscles and skin of Jake’s upper body. Jake’s hand gently caught his, though, and Jake brought their hands to his lips, kissing Rye’s knuckles.

“Can I say something before we continue?” Jake asked. Rye frowned but nodded, and Jake smiled softly. “First, we can stop. At any time, for any reason. You don’t even have to tell me why. If you need to stop, we can stop. Okay?”

Rye swallowed tightly. “Okay. Yeah.”

Jake kissed Rye’s hand again. “And then, I think, um, I should tell you this too, because of what you said, um, a minute ago... You can always say no to anything. I, um, I know that wasn’t the case for you before. But it is now. I promise you. And I know that for me too. I know I can say no if I want. I’ll say no if I’m not comfortable, and you can say no if you’re not. Any time. For any reason. And I will always respect that. I’ll never do anything without your consent, and I’ll never do anything I’m not comfortable with either. I think... I think I’ve shown you that.”

Rye nodded once and then again. “Thank you for saying that.” He closed his eyes and forced out his next words. “He sometimes made me undress. He didn’t give me a choice. When I started to ask you, when I wanted to ask you to take off your shirt...” Shame and guilt flared in his chest, and he frowned and shook his head. “Sorry to ruin the mood. Again. I-I keep doing that. I-I shouldn’t have said... anything.”

“God, Rye, come here.” Jake reached out to him, and Rye scooted back over and melted into Jake’s embrace. Jake’s skin was warm against his cheek as he curled up into his spot. Lips pressed against the top of his head, and Rye sighed contentedly as Jake held him a little tighter. “You didn’t ruin the mood. Now or earlier. And you can tell me as much or as little as you want, any time you feel ready to. Okay? It’s your story, it’s your decision. I’m not ever entitled to anything. No one is. Only as much as you want or need to tell. It maybe helps me to understand your reactions or, um, so I don’t do something to hurt you unintentionally. But it’s always your choice. Okay?”

The love and tenderness in Jake’s voice soothed Rye’s heart, and he managed a small nod. He let himself sit there with that feeling for a moment, letting Jake’s words—from now and from earlier and from all the times Jake had reassured him over and over—repeat themselves in his head.

And finally, when he was ready again, he tilted his head back and looked up at Jake. “Thank you,” he said. Jake sort of shook his head, but then he bent down to meet Rye, and they kissed gently. A short, sweet kiss full of love.

“So, I guess we’re going to have to start all over,” Rye lamented when they parted, resting his head back on Jake’s shoulder.

Jake chuckled. “Start all over, huh?”

Rye nodded. “Yeah. Except this time, you’re already mostly naked, so I can just...” He trailed off and with a little bit of effort, pushed himself up onto his elbow. Then he let his eyes wander and his hand slip down Jake’s chest and back up, his palm flat.

“Ah, yeah, you can... you can do that. If you want to.”

“I do want to.”

“Good.”

Rye chuckled and then lowered his head and peppered kisses along Jake’s jawline, the now-familiar coarseness of Jake’s beard distracting him. His hand traveled along an unplanned route down across the taut muscles of Jake’s stomach and then along the waistband of Jake’s boxer briefs. Jake moaned softly, and Rye swallowed hard and lifted his head, his heart racing. His fingers traced the same path again, and he leaned over and whispered in Jake’s ear, “Can I...?”

“Yes. Please.”

Some new emotion swelled in Rye’s chest, and he wasn’t even sure what to call it, but in that moment, he felt strong and sure. And he loved hearing the need in Jake’s voice. He kissed the spot just under Jake’s ear and then lifted himself up and held his breath while he watched.

His hand slipped under the top of Jake’s briefs, his fingers meeting a patch of thicker hair. Then he found Jake’s erection, hard and hot, waiting for him. Rather impatiently, it seemed. As soon as Rye’s palm stroked lightly along the smooth skin, Jake’s shaft throbbed, twitching up into his hand, and Jake sucked in a breath.

“Is this okay?” Rye asked, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer. He glanced back up to see Jake nod tightly, his eyes closed and his lips pursed together. He remembered what had felt so good to him a few nights ago, and so he tried to copy that. He ran his open palm lightly down Jake’s thick, hard shaft, then wrapped his fingers around the base. His stomach swooped as Jake moaned, the sound throaty and deep. Jake then uttered a string of nonsense words as he brought his hands up to cover his eyes.

“God, Rye, god, I’m already . . . This is . . . ”

Jake couldn’t seem to finish his sentences. He let out another sharp breath, his hands still covering his face, and Rye bit his lip to hide his smile. Then Rye lowered himself down to rest his forehead against Jake’s chest, closed his eyes, and stroked Jake’s length slowly all the way to the tip and back down. And god, the sounds Jake made as Rye repeated the motion again and again—Rye could feel every one of them rumbling deep in Jake’s chest. Another moan, then something else closer to a whine. Then a groan as Jake’s breathing became ragged and short.

Rye pressed his lips against the smooth, warm skin at the ridge of Jake’s collarbone. “Are you close?” he asked, his voice a rough whisper.

“Yessss. Yes, I’m... I’m close. God. Faster, just a little. Please.”

Jake groaned again, and his hand found Rye’s back, rubbing gently as Rye continued pleasuring him, picking up the pace of his strokes. Then Jake’s hand stopped low on Rye’s waist, and he moaned low and deep and slow as his shaft stiffened and then pulsed hard in Rye’s hand. Warm liquid spilled out over Rye’s fist with each pulse, and he sucked in a breath.

God.

God, he’d . . . absolutely loved that. And he hoped . . . he hoped Jake had too.

He lifted his head up to see Jake panting, one hand still covering his eyes, his mouth set tight. Trying to hide his uncertainty, he said, “Jake? Was that... okay?”

“Hmm? What? God, yes. I... I can’t... Rye, please, please can I kiss you? Please?”

Relief rushed through him, and Rye laughed and nodded eagerly as he pushed himself up onto his elbow. He gently released Jake’s arousal, not entirely sure what to do with his messy hand, and he ended up opting to awkwardly place his hand on one side of Jake’s briefs, since Jake would need to change and clean up anyway. Then he bent down to kiss his boyfriend. Jake met him partway, the kiss indistinct and raw, and Jake’s free hand came up to cup Rye’s cheek. Rye pulled away after a moment, both of them breathing hard, and Jake shook his head and tugged Rye down until their foreheads were touching.

“Amazing. Rye, that was... that was amazing. You’re amazing. God, I love you. Sorry, I’m—” Jake cut himself off as he shook his head again. Then Rye felt Jake’s whole body shudder, and Jake wrapped both arms around Rye. “I love you, Rye.”

I love you too. I love you. I love this. I love us.

Rye burrowed his head down in the crook of Jake’s shoulder and nodded, unable to speak. And he let out a long, slow breath as Jake held him tighter and kissed the top of his head.

He loved this. Right here.