Chapter 28 Annalise
Annalise
No, no, no.
I push through the water and launch myself out of the pool, feet slipping once on the concrete surface before I’m running barefoot across the yard. I don’t care that my tank clings to every inch of me, that my shorts are drenched, that I probably look like a winding billboard for guilt.
Yanking open Tag’s back door, I rush inside, water trailing behind me, my heartbeat hammering in my ears. A second later, I’m in the kitchen, tearing through the cabinets.
Looking for something. Anything. A distraction.
I pull out a tumbler and fill it with sink water, shivering now that I’m doused in air conditioning. Hands shaking around the glass, I bring it to my lips, the liquid sliding down my throat, a cold balm to the inferno ripping through my blood.
My skin tingles from where his hands were.
Everywhere he touched feels raw and tender.
I slam my eyes shut, and guilt sears like acid through cotton, impossible to patch.
I’m a monster.
A traitor.
Alex may have his flaws, but I am far from innocent.
I’m staring at a chip in the plaster wall when Tag sneaks up beside me, causing me to fly out of my skin. “Jesus.” I slam the glass on the counter. “You’re a walking jump scare.”
“And you’re a slow-motion car crash.”
I blink, caught off guard. “What?”
“You heard me.”
He’s not joking. Not smirking. Just watching me with that quiet storm look that only ever comes out when he’s really, truly worried.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, defenses spiking.
“You know exactly what it means.”
“No, Tag. I don’t. Please enlighten me.”
My brother leans against the counter, arms crossed, not taking his eyes off me. “Months ago I said you were playing with fire. Now the fire is a fucking blaze, and you’re not just playing with it, you’re dancing in it.”
I scoff, untucking wet hair from behind my ears to veil the flush on my cheeks. “Don’t—”
“Leave. Your. Boyfriend.” Tag swivels around and presses in until we’re face-to-face, eye to eye. “I saw you out there. With him. And I know that look on your face, Annalise.”
My eyes well with tears, hot and stinging. “What look?”
“The one you get when you’re standing on the edge of something you can’t come back from.”
I stare at him, gut twisting. The guilt sits heavy in my chest, waiting for someone else to say it out loud.
“Alex is all wrong for you. A piece of shit if I’m being honest,” he continues, shaking his head. “I’m worried about you. I love you to death, and I know whatever game you’re playing is going to destroy you.”
“It’s not a game.” A tear falls as my breath strangles on trapped air. His words reach inside me, fist my ribs, clench my heart, and coil my vital pieces into abstract art. “Nothing’s happened,” I whisper, my defenses shutting down, regret soaring to the surface. “I swear.”
“Not yet. But you’re halfway there. And if you don’t kick that asshole to the curb, you’re going to hate yourself for what comes next.” He swallows. “Leave him, sis. He’s not your person anymore, he’s your prison. Start over. Clean slate.”
“I…I can’t.”
“Why the fuck not? Spell it out for me. Help me understand, because I—”
“Because I almost killed him!” I shoot back, breaking under the truth. “I broke him, Tag. The accident. He’s never been the same. And that’s my fault.”
He gapes at me, frowning. “No. No way. Don’t do that. Don’t rewrite history just to make him easier to forgive.” His voice is low but cutting. “He was always angry. Always controlling. That didn’t start with the accident.”
“You don’t understand what he was like before—”
“Of course I do. You think I didn’t notice how he isolated you?
” His jaw clenches. “Tell me how many friends you have. Tell me how many he’s driven away.
Kenna is only still here because she refused to leave you.
And look at Mom and Dad. Think about all the times they’ve tried to visit, but Alex always has plans. Funny how that happens.”
I flinch, my head swinging back and forth with denial. “No…”
“You used to light up a room. Then he got inside your head and flipped the breaker,” Tag goes on, voice tight. “He didn’t change. You just stopped pretending it didn’t scare you.”
His words rattle me to the bone.
But Tag is wrong.
He has to be, or else everything I ever told myself starts to unravel.
It was just a bad day.
He didn’t mean it.
It’s my fault.
He’s hurting too.
And if it unravels, what’s left?
Just me, holding a thread I don’t know how to let go of.
I look away, down at the floor. “I have it under control.”
Tag blows out a breath, pinches the bridge of his nose.
We both know it’s a lie.
My control is out the window, gone with the stuffy, oppressive wind. If Chase had kissed me tonight, I would have let him.
And my brother is right.
It would have destroyed me.
He sighs long and hard, the temper melting away. In its place, only brotherly love. “Listen. Please know that I want you in this band more than fucking anything. But if playing with us—if playing with him—is going to steal a piece of your soul, it’s not worth it. Not at all.”
My bottom lip quivers. I chomp down on it, Tag’s image blurring through the tears. “I want this,” I force out, emotion bending my words. “So much.”
“I know you do.” He pivots, leaning back on the counter and staring down at the crud-stained grout. “But what’s your endgame here?”
“Wherever this leads.”
“Are you sure?” He sends me another sidelong glance. “Because we both know where it’s headed.”
“Tag…” The tears fall harder, evidence of my shame. Then, like a glass heart underfoot, I break. “I…I don’t know what to do.”
His face falls as I crumble. Tag lifts off the counter and pulls me into a hug, his chin dropping to the top of my head as I sag against him, my fists balled at his chest.
He doesn’t answer.
Just lets me cry.
Chase has awakened something in me, a part that has grown cold over the years, a slow-dying flame. Soon I’ll be torn in half, pieces of me forever entangled with the little boy I fell in love with before I even knew what love was.
And these new pieces, dusted off and polished, brought back to life.
By him.
I just don’t know which piece fits best.