6. Can We Just Put It Behind Us?
CAN WE JUST PUT IT BEHIND US?
WILL
When I walked through the door of the house that is basically my second home, the last person I thought I’d see was Annie.
Everything and everyone else around us becomes blurry while I process what I’m seeing. Or rather, who I’m seeing.
She stares back at me like a deer caught in headlights, her green eyes locked with mine while the blood drains from her face. I’m fairly certain I’ve stopped breathing while I hear my heart thundering in my ears, my brain glitching while I try to make sense of what is going on right now.
Her hair is shorter than the last time I saw her, cut just above her shoulders, where previously it had fallen in waves down her back. She’s thinner now, and she seems to be holding herself differently, almost like she’s curling in on herself, attempting to hide herself away.
“Annie,” I whisper.
I can’t focus on anything else but the woman sitting between Bri and Morgan. She is still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and despite the resentment I’ve held for her over the past seven years, the attraction hasn’t faded.
She swallows hard. “Will… Hi.”
Neither of us move, and I can feel the uneasiness in the air around me, finally remembering just how many eyes are on us right now.
Chris’s voice comes from behind me, startling me out of my reverie. “Guys, let’s all head outside. I’ve got the fire pit ready.”
He starts rounding our audience up and shepherding everyone outside, shooting me an apologetic look over his shoulder.
When it’s just the two of us, Annie gets slowly to her feet, clutching her handbag in front of her, and I notice a slight tremor in her hands.
“How long have you been back?” I ask, finally finding my voice while I tap the top of the couch next to me, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
“A month… I’m looking after Mum’s place for her for a little while,” she replies, struggling to meet my gaze.
I feel my eyes widen. “A month? Wow… I…” Words appear to have deserted me while I continue to run my eyes over her.
My emotions are in overdrive, unable to work out whether I’m angry, or if the nervous energy swirling in my stomach is from something else entirely.
“Listen, if this is too weird, I can just go…” She goes to brush past me, but I move quickly, catching her arm gently.
“No! I just… I’m shocked, that’s all.” I let my hand drop back to my side when she flinches a little.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Morgan said you’d told them you had plans.” She pushes her hair behind her ear and crosses her arms, like she’s trying to make herself smaller.
Like she wishes she could disappear.
“Oh… so you weren’t going to contact me?” I struggle to keep the hurt from my voice, and I can tell she notices it when she grimaces .
“I just… I didn’t know what to say…”
I let out a small, bitter laugh. “How about, I’m sorry?”
Her shoulders drop while she stares up at me. “Can we not do this here… It’s been seven years… Can we just put it behind us?”
I want to argue with her. To beg her to tell me what the hell happened seven years ago when I got home from a normal day of work to find her gone and a note telling me she was leaving with no other explanation.
But I’m very aware that although our friends have headed outside, they can still see us through the large glass doors off the patio.
I sigh, shaking my head while I flick my gaze towards the doors. “Let’s just go outside. Everyone is clearly watching us, and I’m not loving how many eyes are on us right now.”
Pretty much everyone is watching us while pretending to be interested in their own conversations.
Annie looks over and cringes, her cheeks turning a deep pink. “Good idea.”
I move aside to let her go first, and her shoulder brushes my chest as she walks past. I inhale sharply, my body reacting to her close proximity and the familiar scent of her perfume. She freezes for a fraction of a second, before continuing out the door without looking back.
I stay where I am, rubbing the spot on my chest, before taking a deep breath and following her out the door.
Everyone outside is sitting in groups around the fire pit, and Annie takes a seat beside Morgan, who immediately puts Caidin into her arms for a cuddle.
The sight of Annie holding the baby hits me like a punch to the stomach. Her eyes widen as they meet mine, and a range of emotions flit across her face before she looks away again, focusing on the infant in her arms.
I move to take a seat between Chris and Jake, who both clap me on the shoulders while exchanging worried glances .
I could really use a stiff drink right now.
I do my best to avoid looking at Annie, especially when I notice Taylor is also part of the group of women that she joined when she sat down.
I really should have checked the guest list with Morgan before I showed up.
But I hadn’t expected to see even one of my exes in my best friend’s back yard, let alone two of them.
My most recent ex-girlfriend has been looking between myself and Annie with a confused expression.
I never mentioned Annie to her, so as far as I’m aware, she has no idea about our history.
This particular scenario was one that I never imagined happening, and yet here I am, only a breath away from the woman who ripped my heart apart and the one who had hoped to put it back together.
“A bit of warning would have been fucking nice, mate,” I say quietly to Chris, trying not to draw any attention to myself.
“Check your phone. I called and texted about a dozen times since she walked in the door twenty minutes ago.”
I pull my phone from my pocket and swear under my breath. I’d forgotten I’d left it on silent. The last message showed a preview
Chris
Mate, call me now, Morgan has done something fucking stupid and you won’t believe…
If only I’d seen the messages before walking in the door, maybe I wouldn’t feel like the world was spinning right now.
Over the next hour, I do my solid best to keep from looking at Annie, although I can hear her each time she answers one of the girls questions. I could pick her voice out in even the loudest crowd, and I don’t know how to feel about the fact that I seem to still be so in-tune with her.
Eventually, the tension in the air obviously becomes too much for her .
“Hey, I’m going to head home,” I hear her say quietly to Morgan.
Before I can stop myself, I look over to catch Morgan’s eyes on me, a conflicted look on her face, before she glances back at Annie. “Yeah. I get it. But please, I’ve missed you these last few years. I mean, can we catch up soon for coffee or something?”
I feel a tightness in my chest at the desperation in Morgan’s voice. I know how much she’s missed Annie, and I try not to hold it against her for springing this whole situation on me.
“Of course. Send me a message and we’ll work it out, OK?” Annie squeezes Morgan’s hand back and gets to her feet.
Avoiding my gaze, she gives Chris and Jake a weak wave, and they both nod back. She eventually looks at me, and I grip my beer tightly, holding her gaze for a moment before glancing away. She hesitates for a moment before walking back inside.
I sit there for a few moments, brooding, with my heart thundering in my ears.
But it only takes me about ten seconds before I get to my feet.
Refusing to acknowledge all the eyes that are on me, I follow her out, but not before I see the dark expression that has settled over Taylor’s face while she tracks my movements across the darkened yard.
I walk out the front door and see Annie out on the empty street, heading towards the car that is parked in front of my ute. Explains why I didn’t recognise the vehicle when I pulled up.
“Hey.”
She looks up, her hand hovering above the handle on the driver’s side door.
She watches me jog down the front stairs. “Hi,” she replies, her expression wary.
“Can we talk?” I stop in front of her and she looks up at me, those beautiful green eyes that I’ve missed every day scanning my face. “I don’t want to argue with you… I just… I feel like I can’t let you walk away again, and have this be the only time we see each other after seven years.”
She takes a deep breath while her eyes continue to search my face. After a moment, she nods slowly.
I feel the tension in my shoulders ease a little as I let out a long breath, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Great… How about tomorrow afternoon? We can go for a walk?” Something tells me that we shouldn’t try and sit down while we have this conversation.
“Okay,” she says.
“Okay…” I move my hand up to run it through my hair. “The cliffs?”
I know suggesting ‘our place’ is probably dangerous, but it’s the first place that comes to mind.
She nods again, and we agree to meet at 3 p.m.
I step back while she climbs into the car and drives away, my hands buried deep in my pockets while I stare at her taillights. Once her car disappears from sight, I stay there for a few more minutes, not ready to go back inside just yet.
I look up at the stars that are peeking out from behind the clouds, raising my hands to rest on top of my head while I try to get a read on the emotions that are warring inside me.
I swallow hard, reminding myself that she’d only come because she thought I wouldn’t be here.
If the weather hadn’t turned, who knows if I’d ever have had this chance to get some answers.
Pulling myself slowly back together, I eventually walk back through the front door, intending to say my goodbyes and leave myself. But I stop short when I hear Chris and Morgan having a heated conversation in the kitchen.
“What were you thinking, inviting her here? Without even talking to me about it first?” I round the corner to see Chris stacking the dishwasher.
“To be honest, all I was thinking about was the fact that I had just run into my best friend for the first time in years and I wanted her back in my life,” Morgan replies angrily from where she’s standing, leaning her hip against the bench with her arms crossed over her chest.
Chris continues on, ignoring the hurt in her voice. “And you just handed her Caidin, like it was nothing. Did you even think about how it would hurt Will, seeing Annelisa with a baby?! You know how hard it’s been for him seeing everyone else settle down.”
The sharp intake of breath from Morgan tells me it hadn’t occurred to her.
Not wanting to hear anything more or endure further pity, I clear my throat and step further into the room.
“Hey, I’m gonna take off.” They both look up quickly, guilt written across their faces. I focus on Morgan first, watching as she drops her arms to her sides, dropping her defensive stance. “It’s okay. I get why you invited her. Kind of wish I’d had more warning, though.”
“I’m sorry, Will. Chris had said you weren’t coming, otherwise I wouldn’t have invited her.” I can see tears shining in her eyes.
“I’m glad you invited her. We have a lot we need to talk about. I didn’t realise you were in contact with her?” I try not to sound like I’m accusing her of lying, but I’m interested to know how long Morgan had been keeping this a secret.
She wrings her hands, flicking a look towards Chris before meeting my questioning gaze.
“I found her online a few years ago, and we’ve kept in touch a little, but not much.
I didn’t want to say anything, as it had been so long.
I didn’t want to upset you by bringing it up.
But it was pure chance that I saw her yesterday out running. ”
After a moment of silence, I nod once. “Anyway, I’m gonna go. Can you say goodbye to everyone? I don’t feel much like being stared at for the rest of the night. I need some time to process all of this, and I’d rather do that alone.”
They exchange another look before nodding back.
“Are you going to see her again?” Morgan asks, and Chris shoots her a “shut up” look .
“Yeah, we’re going for a walk tomorrow.” I leave it at that, knowing that Morgan will be dying to know how it went.
I’ll leave it up to Annie to fill her in, seeing as she’s managed to still talk to her, while maintaining radio silence with me all along.
Now I just have to work on not letting seven years of bitterness and resentment rear its ugly head tomorrow afternoon…
That’s not going to be difficult at all.
I almost make it out the front door before Taylor calls out my name. Cursing under my breath, I turn to find her walking into the room from the patio, clearly having come looking for me.
I came here to celebrate one of my oldest friends’ birthdays and it’s turned into the return of the exes.
“Hey, I’m just heading off.” I really don’t have it in me to have a conversation with her tonight, but Taylor isn’t great at letting things go.
“What’s going on? Who is Annelisa? Everyone has been staring at her, and you, all night.” She looks peeved, and I can’t really blame her.
“She’s my ex from school,” I reply, trying to downplay our history, but Taylor wasn’t buying it.
“You mean the one you were with for nine years, that bailed and no one has seen since?”
Fucking hell, Morgan .
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“You’re not going after her, are you? Surely someone who just leaves like that isn’t someone you’d want in your life?”
I know she’s been having trouble accepting our break-up, and I don’t know what to say that will keep her from getting hurt, so I just shrug.
“There’s a lot of history there… Let’s just leave it alone, okay? I’ll see you around.” I nod at her and walk out the door, unable to handle any more drama tonight.
Morgan could handle that, too. She’ll be in her element.