Chapter 21
—Reed—
Night four utterly broke me, and I barely had it in me to text when everything seemed so bleak.
Reed to Kasey: Good to see you today, darlin’. I love you… We both do.
~
I woke to my normal workday alarm feeling like I’d been hit by multiple freight trains through the sleepless night. My head pounded, and my dry mouth reminded me I hadn’t drunk enough water yesterday.
I forced myself to roll from bed despite being reluctant to face the day. It was going to be a mammoth one. I needed to head to work to have a meeting with my boss, then head to the hospital to see my girls. That in itself scared me. I feared facing Kasey again and not seeing recognition in her eyes. The beautiful eyes that used to look at me with utter adoration. I longed to see that again. And the cheeky glint of her dark humor. I missed her sharp tongue and her impulsive, borderline reckless behavior.
After showering again and dressing in a pair of chinos and a tee, I scuffed barefoot to the kitchen and fumbled with the coffee machine. I’d known exhaustion before, but this was different. I knew I was preparing for one helluva mental battle over the next fuck-knows how long.
With caffeine filling my veins, I stopped by work and went through the motions of checking in with my boss and Eric, then headed for Gallie.
The thick haze of uncertainty settled around me as soon as I parked, and it bore down as I entered through the main entrance.
I arrived at the ward to find things calm and quiet, with Kasey’s parents already at her bedside. The nurse in charge gave me a quick rundown of how she went overnight—a good and positive update by all means.
Standing at the foot of the bed, I studied Kase while her mom attempted to comb some of the knots out of her hair.
Without warning, Kase startled awake, and her eyes immediately found mine. After a quick frown, her expression changed into recognition, filling me with hope despite the recognition not being directed at me.
“Mom. Dad.”
The comb in Georgia’s hand clattered to the floor, and she hugged her daughter gently, but with everything she had. “Oh, darling.”
“Hi, baby. How are you?” Arty murmured while squeezing her hand.
Kasey’s chin wavered. “I’m okay.”
While those two words brought peace to my soul, being the third wheel had me silently slipping from the room to give her and her parents some space.
I had my head down and hands hanging between my knees when Arty arrived at my side and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“We’ll give the girls a minute, then I’ll take Georgia for coffee.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
He sat and cleared his throat, making small talk while we waited. “I guess you’ve never been on this side of the line before, huh?”
I lifted my head a fraction. “Never. I like the other side better.” The side where I could control how invested I became in a situation. The side where I wasn’t sitting in the middle of the fallout.
“You and me both, son.” His hand landed on my back and stayed for a long moment. “It’s been the worst four days in my life, that’s for sure.”
At least she remembers you.
I kept that salty thought to myself. Out of all of this, I’d be infinitely more devastated if Kasey had lost her longer-term memory too.
As I sniffed away those thoughts, Georgia appeared.
“Thank you for giving us a moment, Reed. She’s still awake if you’d like to go in.”
I rose to my feet. “Thanks Georgia. Arty mentioned coffee, so…”
Kasey’s dad picked up what I was putting down. “Let’s take a walk, Georgie. Get some fresh air.”
She accepted Arty’s offered hand, then gave me a small smile. “Take your time, Reed.”
“Thanks, ma’am.”
Leaving me to my private visit, Georgia and Arty quietly walked down the deserted corridor as I re-entered Kasey’s room. Her eyes were on me as soon as I stepped around the half-pulled curtain.
I smiled and carefully came to her side. “Hey, darlin’.”
She nodded with a small wince. “Hey.” Her gaze flicked back and forth between my eyes. “Uh... Sorry, I remember you from yesterday, but I can’t think of your name.”
Hope, already hanging on tenterhooks, plummeted. While I forced my smile to be easy and relaxed, inside, my head screamed.
“It’s Reed, babe.” I swallowed to hide how much her innocent comment rattled me. “Do you remember anything else… about us?”
It was the dreaded question, and absolutely not the way I intended to ease into this visit.
Kasey’s fingers flexed against my palm as her thoughts turned inward. I waited patiently, praying with everything I had that in some deep recess of her soul, a spark would come to life.
Instead, she blinked a few times, then looked me dead in the eye. “No. Nothing. I’m sorry.”
Fuck.
I briefly ducked my head to hide the hurt. The indescribable ache in my chest wouldn’t ease no matter how much I told myself this was normal. That this was part of the recovery process, and her brain just needed time to heal.
Her fingers flexed against mine again, pulling my attention back to her banged-up face. “Thank you for visiting. How long have I been in here?”
“This is day five.”
“They told me I was in a car crash?”
The burning ache within my ribs grew stronger, and the stinging memories of the crash site returned. “You were.”
“Am I still in Denver?” she asked, wistfully glancing toward the window. “It doesn’t look like it.”
I settled into the awaiting chair and tugged it closer to her bed. “No, Kase. You’re in Idaho. In Gallie, to be specific.”
Kasey’s eyebrows shot high. “Idaho! What am I doing up here?”
Fuck, this was hard.
I took a second before gently recapping what we covered yesterday, and then some. “Simone lives in Idaho now. She’s dating my brother. You were driving up to visit for the weekend, and… it was the start of your move.”
Her warm-brown eyes flicked between mine as a pucker formed between her brows. “Are we fucking?”
Despite the solemn weight in the air, I couldn’t help but chuckle. There was my straight-shootin’ girl. I even heard the nearby nurse snicker.
I ran a hand over my goofy grin. “Yeah, babe. We are.”
“For how long?”
“Have we been…?” I clarified.
“Yeah.”
I admired that she’d kept her honesty. “Well, for the last year since the day after you ended up in the town cells and—”
“Wait,” she cut in and angled toward me as if extra interested. “Did I get arrested? Did Simone? It was on her list.”
I snickered again. “Yeah, you both did. By my partner after skinny-dipping in the lake.”
Kasey’s eyes grew wide. “That’s fucking awesome.”
While riding the open conversation, I elaborated on the previous topic. “We’ve been together for the last year. Babe… you were moving up here to live with me,” I said gently.
Her eyes then narrowed as they flicked over me. “I dunno…”
Her nurse stepped a little closer. “If I were you, I wouldn’t ask questions, these Gatlin boys are in hot demand around here.”
Kase’s expression turned wary while I smoothed another hand over my mouth, trying my hardest to lock down a grin.
“You and the guy Simone was with?” she asked.
My heart melted from the way she expectantly looked at me. “There are six of us, Kase.”
“Oh.”
I playfully smacked her arm. “But don’t worry, you got the best looking one.”
A scoff accompanied her look of utter scorn. “Uh huh.”
“Yeah, uh huh.” I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles, surprised that she hadn’t pulled away—yet. I expected her to once I broached the next subject.
“Darlin’, have the nurses given you any other information about the condition you were in when you were admitted?”
Her forehead crinkled with confusion again. “My condition? No. I don’t remember them speaking to me about it.”
“Uh…” I hesitated, then glanced over my shoulder to find the nearby nurse.
When her eyes met mine, I knew they hadn’t broken the news to her yet. The nurse approached and took up post on the opposite side of Kase’s bed.
“We were waiting until you were present, Reed, and for Kasey to be fully lucid,” she explained.
Kasey’s expression turned thunderous. “I’m lucid now. What’s going on?”
The nurse looked at me. “Do you want me to explain, or…”
I shook my head. This had to come from me. I had my questions, but for the moment, Kase needed to know.
“Babe…” I held her hand tighter. “There’s no way of tactfully saying this, so I’m just gonna come straight out with it, and it’s going to sound unbelievable because, to be honest, I still can’t wrap my head aroun—”
“Just say it!” Kasey barked, visibly losing energy.
“Fine. I’m sorry to tell you like this, but you were pregnant at the time of the crash. Along with your other surgery, you underwent an emergency cesarean section, lost a lot of blood, and we now have a baby girl upstairs in the NICU.”
There. Bomb dropped and job done. Kind of. Not really.
Kasey’s jaw fell before snapping closed and rage colored her face. “Don’t lie,” she hissed through clenched teeth.
My chest burned. “I’m not, babe. I promise.”
“You are!”
I looked to the nurse for help.
“Actually, Kasey, Reed is telling you the truth. Your daughter was delivered by emergency cesarean section five days ago. We couldn’t tell exactly how far along you were in your pregnancy, but we estimate you were around thirty-four weeks along.”
With a painful wince, Kasey struggled up to her elbows. “Fuck, I’m sore. My head, shoulder, chest, and—”
She cut off mid-complaint, and I silently dared her to say it: her stomach.
“No,” she whispered. “I’d remember that, surely.”
I bit back the bitter remark regarding her being unable to remember me.
The nurse touched her arm while gently saying, “Careful how you move, you have sutures.”
“Show me,” Kase gritted out, looking a little pale.
The nurse and I shared a quick glance before she shifted the hospital linen aside. “Sure. You also have a catheter in for the moment. That will be removed once we’re sure you’re steady on your feet.”
I peered over as she lifted Kasey’s gown to reveal disposable underwear and a sterile dressing low on her abdomen.
Kasey’s horrified whisper was close to my ear. “It can’t be real.”
“I’m just as surprised as you are, babe.”
Her eyes narrowed, and if Kase wasn’t bed-ridden, I’d be duckin’ for cover. “Don’t treat me like a five-year-old. If it’s your baby, you would have known.”
Pushing down the rise of frustration and bewilderment, I settled for gripping the hospital blanket.
“I didn’t know. No one knew. Not me, or Simone, or your parents. No one. I don’t think you even knew. But if you did, you didn’t bother tellin’ me.”
Kasey’s teeth ground together, and her face reddened with rage. “Get. Out,” she hissed.
I could have stayed and argued. Could have vented my anger and frustration and heartache with sharp words I’d live to regret. I inhaled a long, slow breath, then nodded.
I surrendered, for the moment, and politely thanked the nurse. After a frigid and forced goodbye to Kasey, I withdrew from the room before the quaver in my voice outed my despair.
It fucked with my head turning my back on Kase—even for the shortest time. But I needed a moment. Needed a fucking second to breathe.
I pushed into the stairwell and worked my way one floor up to the maternity and neonatal wards. I had another girl waiting for me, and this one surely couldn’t break my heart as much as the one in the private room could.