Chapter 29
—Reed—
Between visiting Kasey and spending time bonding with Posie, I’d hardly had time to stop and take a breath. I was one hundred and ten percent committed, but fuck me, I was exhausted and barely seeing straight after a week and a half. My mood grew stormier with each passing day. It was one day closer to Kasey getting discharged from the hospital. It was a monumental step forward, of course, but it also meant I’d be losing her.
Kasey was proving a hard nut to crack and had seemed increasingly distant over the last few days. I knew she was pushing me away in the lead-up to her heading back to Denver, but giving me the cold shoulder caused nothing but my distress to increase.
A deep sense of dread hung in my chest as I drove toward Gallie for my morning visit. When the glass doors of the Gallie Hospital glided open for me, I beelined for the elevator. I controlled myself enough to not jab the second-floor button multiple times, though the close door button didn’t get the same reprieve.
When I entered her room to see a vacant bed, neatly made, I immediately felt sick. My teeth worked across each other so hard my jaw seized, and angry tears stung the back of my throat as I stared at the offensively empty bed.
A sudden thought then hit: Posie!
I ran—literally sprinted—down the ward corridor and hit the stairwell. While I’d fight to win Kasey back, I couldn’t lose both her and Posie in one day. The thought twisted knots in my stomach. I screeched to a halt at the NICU and broke the only protocol that had been drummed into me: washing hands.
The mom glanced up, doing a double take, then rushed forward with her face turning ashen. “Hon, wh—”
“Where is she?” I demanded, staring at Posie’s empty incubator with fear.
Mom held up a hand to placate me. “She’s with Kasey.”
My heart bottomed out. “You let her take her?”
Mom’s chin jerked back. “No. Where?”
“To Denver!” I exclaimed.
My mother’s expression turned thunderous, and my inner child’s spine snapped upright. “Don’t yell at me, Reed. Especially in here.”
I checked myself and didn’t get a chance to apologize before Mom added, “Kasey is holding Posie behind the privacy screen. Go and wash your hands, then come back when you’ve calmed down.”
Relief poured through me. It weakened my knees, and they gave a little as I retraced my steps to the sink.
After scrubbing diligently, I returned to Mom and shot her an apologetic grimace. “Sorry, Mom. Can I please see them?”
Mom nodded with approval. “That’s better. They’re right around there.”
Holding my breath, I peeked around the cloth privacy screen. The sight of Kasey cradling our baby brought a smile to my face.
“Hey,” I whispered, slowly lowering into the armchair beside hers.
“Hey,” she replied, eyeing me warily.
“I thought you had left already. I’m glad you didn’t. You look good with her in your arms, darlin’.”
Forcing myself to appear chill despite my entire body being on edge, I sat back and kept vigil over my girls.
“I’m leaving soon. Today,” Kase murmured, gently stroking her fingertips over Posie’s dark hair.
I yearned to feel the warmth and softness of my daughter’s head under my palm, but there was no way I’d break the delicate threads Kasey was at least attempting to weave.
My voice wavered as I tried to hold myself together. “Please don’t take her away from me, Kase. I can’t lose you both.” Damn my voice for cracking.
Kase stared back with tears shimmering along her lower lash line. The subtle shake of her head had my breath catching.
“I just wanted to hold her before I left,” came her whisper.
A lump wedged deeper into my throat. “Stay, babe. I’ll take care of you. Both of you.”
Sorrow clouded her gaze and turned my gut over on itself.
“I believe that we used to be in love, but I have to feel it to believe it. I’m sorry, Reed. I have to find myself before I can find you in my heart again.”
I got it. I really fucking did. But that didn’t mean my own heart didn’t break.
“You have as long as you need. Always. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on us. You were, and always will be, part of my family. Especially now.”
My eyes dropped to Posie peacefully sleeping on her momma’s chest. The sight solidified my declaration. No matter the distance between us, we’d make it. Hell, we’d been long distance for the last year and if I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat.
“And when you’re up to it, we’ll come visit,” I added.
Confusion scrunched her brow. “We?”
“Me and Posie.” When she hesitated, I added, “I’m sure your parents would want to see her too.”
Kasey glanced away and wouldn’t make eye contact even after I said her name.
“Kase, look at me.” I waited patiently, and only once I placed my fingers on her knee did she meet my eyes. “You haven’t told them that she’s not going with you, have you?”
A tremor marred Kasey’s voice. “No.”
I shifted forward in my seat. “Your parents have the right to know, Kase. They’ll want to spend more time with her before you all go.”
“I know they will,” she snapped. “I’m just scared they’ll want to take her with us. I… I don’t want to do that, for all our sakes.”
I briefly hung my head, torn between what I wanted and what was right. “You still need to tell them, babe.”
Irritation angled Kasey’s eyebrows down in the center. “I will, okay? Stop pressuring me.”
“I’m not meaning to, but if you’re going home today, they need to know as soon as—”
“I’ll tell them!”
I held up my hands, struggling with how off-kilter my world felt. This wasn’t my usual Kasey. Don’t get me wrong, she could argue her point until I willed the life from my own body, but—while being mindful that mood swings and fluctuating moods were common after head injuries—I was terrified that she was entirely missing my point and didn’t give a fuck about it.
My mom and dad already doted on Posie like any smitten grandparents would, and it didn’t sit well in my gut that Arty and Georgia were about to be blindsided.
I softened my voice and swallowed to shift the lingering claws lodged in my throat. “Thank you. For everything.”
Kasey scoffed. “I don’t need to be thanked.”
“You do. Mostly for coming down here and seeing her. Cuddling her. Mom tells me it makes all the difference.”
The brown doe eyes that used to be filled with love and heat when she looked at me now held guilt.
“This isn’t the first time,” Kasey whispered. “I... I came down last night after you left. After I had a chat with Sylvie.” Kase released a deep sigh. “I am trying, Reed. It may not seem like it, but I am.”
“I know, babe,” I whispered, and dropped to my knees between hers.
My fingertips dug into the armchair in an effort to stop myself from taking Kasey’s face in my hands and kissing her breathless. The thought of my lips on hers re-lit my craving for her, and my breath stilled as we stared without blinking or moving.
Her hand landed on my forearm and squeezed.
Taking hold of that olive branch and praying I wasn’t about to completely fuck this up, I slowly glided my fingers along her jaw before my hands came to rest just below her ears. As my thumbs rhythmically brushed across her cheek bones, I visually drank in every contour and feature on her beautiful face from her naturally dark brows and long lashes, to her smooth, freckle-less complexion. The dark circles under her eyes were a new feature—they represented her time here in Gallie Hospital.
I’d seen her without makeup before, but she seemed extra stripped bare and vulnerable within this moment.
After searching her eyes for the longest time, my gaze shifted to her mouth.
“I really want to kiss you,” I whispered.
Her tongue made a nervous pass over her plump lower lip.
I stilled. Waited. Searched for a green light.
Her subtle shift forward was the signal I was waiting for. Unable to resist further, I leaned in until our lips were nothing but a breath apart.
“Reed,” Kasey murmured.
“Yeah?”
“If you’re going to kiss me, hurry up and do it.”
Her demand created a wide grin. I chuckled against her lips, daring to wait a fraction longer.
My eyes locked with hers at close range. “I’ll do it when I’m good ’n ready, Quinn.”
Without giving her time to spit a sassy retort, I captured her top lip between mine. The force of my sudden contact seemed to take us both by surprise, and when Kase relaxed after the initial contact, I angled her head just so, taking the kiss deeper.
An agony filled groan escaped as I spliced my lips across hers. While fighting against the rising possession, I smoothed one hand around her lower back and pulled her a fraction closer. The juncture of her jaw worked under my palm as her lips synced to the kiss.
The moment her hand wove around my shoulders, I teased my tongue against hers. Kasey’s hum lit a fire in my veins. Deepening and delving, I inhaled, subconsciously searching for her scent beneath the trace of hospital sterility.
Fingernails bit in the back of my head, forcing me—willingly—to devour every last lash of her tongue.
Among the frantic moment of stolen passion, it occurred to me what this was: Kasey’s goodbye. A way to cement me within her new memory while searching for where I fitted into her forgotten one.
Posie’s little body stopped me from pressing my full weight upon Kasey, but the distance felt right, like we were the protective seal around her delicate life.
Giving Kasey the lead, as soon as she brought our kiss to an end, my hand found our tiny daughter while we caught our breath.
We stared, dazed, pupils lit and large, stumbling along this unpaved path together.
I ducked and pressed a kiss to Posie’s sweet head, then met Kasey’s eyes again. I stole a final kiss before rising to my feet and issuing one last declaration.
“I love you, babe. I’ll be coming for you, soon.”