Chapter 54
—Kasey—
I lay on my back that night, wide awake and staring at the shadows on the ceiling while my brain ran wild. Reed’s soft snores ebbed and flowed in a relaxed rhythm as he slept beside me—peaceful and content with a warm, heavy hand on my thigh. The simple touch cemented the entire night. He’d shown me the best of times, talked through the harder ones, then protected me when Tyler wouldn’t take my no for an answer.
Reed was throwing his entire soul into helping me work through the accident aftermath, and tonight highlighted the lengths he’d go to.
I was falling for him. It wasn’t the wining and dining or the money. No. It was much simpler than that. A lingering glance. The wistful smile gracing his mouth. His dark eyes intensifying as he looked me over, leaving behind heat and an irregular pulse I had to fight to re-gain control over.
I angled his way and studied his profile. Asleep on his back with his mouth slightly open, he still looked like he was modeling for Vogue. His hair remained styled on top despite my fingers weaving through it earlier, and he possessed an angular jawline some men could only dream of. I swore he grew more gorgeous each time I saw him.
My self-assurance gathered strength in his presence. Even with a chunk of my past still missing, I could feel my old self returning in all her confidence, along with my more risqu tenancies.
Along with that shift, my thoughts often included Posie now. My affection for her continued to blossom, building slowly like the way I fell for her daddy. Compounding in ways I had no control over.
And that was it: the crux of what I’d been fighting. I had no control over the feelings that consumed me. I found myself wanting to be her momma and wanting to love her as much as Reed did. There was still so much to learn, but goddamn I wanted to try.
With that knowledge burning in my chest, I carefully slid from bed and silently extracted my phone from my handbag.
The screen came to life, making me squint against the brightness as I found my bestie’s last message.
Holding my breath and vibrating with emotions, I sent Simone a text.
Best Bitch: I’m falling for him.
~
That set the precedence for the rest of the weekend. From Reed waking me the next morning with a gritty-toned, “Hey, darlin’,” to kissing Posie’s head for the first time and finally understanding why Reed frequently rested the tip of his nose on her head whenever he held her, the weekend marked the turning point where my walls fell, and I let them in. Both of them. To the point when Tomos pulled up at the private airport terminal, I was gutted to see Reed and Posie go home.
Reed chuckled as he extracted Posie’s car seat from the car. “Don’t pout, babe. We’ll come visit again soon.”
My lips flattened, and I held Posie a little tighter. “At least I’m not crying like Mom was.”
Truth be told, I felt like crying. The niggling edge of emotion wedged neatly in my throat. I’d managed to cough it away but was unsure if I could hold it completely at bay while saying goodbye soon.
Last night I couldn’t sleep, so I’d snuck into Posie’s room just to watch her get hers. It was during that quiet hour that I contemplated the new path life had thrown me down. While holding Posie’s little hand as she slept like an angel, I searched relentlessly for more missing memories, growing tired when none offered themselves up.
I had a choice, of course, but in this case, I couldn’t be half in and half out. I had to be all in. Wholeheartedly. And prepared to take the chance by the horns, hold on, and trust the process.
Reed’s hand found my back and guided me into the building. I walked close with Posie in my arms, my elbow and hip brushing against his side with each step. Without warning, he stopped in the middle of the terminal and pulled me into his arms, sandwiching Posie between us.
“I don’t want to leave, Kase. I already miss the fuck out of you.”
While I only had a couple of months of new memories stored up, my eyes met his. “I already miss you too.”
“Anytime you want to visit, just say the word, and I’ll send Peter down to collect you. Or Posie and I will fly down again.”
My eyes briefly fell closed as his fingers tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I love you, darlin’.”
“You too.”
While not complete, my reply carried the weight of words unsaid. Reed sucked in a sharp breath, and when I offered a sincere smile, the tension fell from his expression, leaving behind rawness that puckered his brows in the center.
Affectionately cupping my face in his hands, Reed lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me. So tender and slow, my toes curled in my boots. Each stroke of our tongues cemented further what my heart had been telling me all along. Reed was a man I could love with my entire being while staying true to myself.
Posie grunted and babbled between us. Reed smiled against my mouth, and during the seconds that he had us wrapped in his arms, we were whole. We were one.
“This is starting to feel like a goodbye,” I teased, but the joke failed to disguise my emotions.
Reed kissed me again. “Only for now, babe.”
I pursed my lips and nodded, then kissed Posie, inhaling her baby scent again before reluctantly handing her over.
With the pre-flight checks already completed, I grabbed Reed’s face and kissed him one last time. I managed to hold back the tears as he turned his back and left the terminal. I held them in as he crossed the tarmac and ascended the steps of their family jet.
But the second he turned and grinned, then raised his middle finger high in a final farewell salute, a shuddering laugh-sob hiccupped from my chest.
I flipped him off and refused to wipe away the streaming tears until he’d disappeared into the aircraft.
If I had known that next time I saw him in person, his grin would have faded, and his eyes wouldn’t light, then I wouldn’t have been so quick to turn away in an effort to hide my tears.