Chapter 11 Braxton
Braxton
Ryan and I have discovered a natural competitiveness between us during the time we’ve worked together, and it always seems to come out when we’re in the gym.
It’s how we find ourselves on the treadmills this afternoon, sneakers hitting the belts in unison. The only other sound in the room is the whirring motors of the equipment and our heavy breathing as we push ourselves to outmatch the other.
“Increase the incline,” Ryan demands.
I shoot him a look out of the corner of my eye. “Why the fuck would we do that?”
“Because we’re still talking, for one,” he says with no small amount of amusement. “And I’m not feeling the burn yet.”
I shake my head but do it anyway, pushing the incline up until my quads start aching with every step. We fall quiet until the timer runs down and cooldown mode kicks in, slowing us down in increments. We’re walking at an easy pace when Ryan looks over, his brows arched inquisitively.
“Paisley, huh?”
I focus forward. “Yeah.”
She left pretty quickly after we packed up her basket, walking off to her mother’s car with a jaunty wave. Still, the whole encounter left me with a sour feeling sitting in my gut, remembering the promise I made to Gracie on the weekend—full transparency.
It is twice now that I have seen and talked with Paisley, but this was at the fire station and out in the open. I don’t want to cause Gracie any more stress than she’s already feeling, and nothing happened.
There’s nothing to be transparent about.
“Not often people are friendly with their best friend’s little sister,” Ryan muses.
I blink, my eyes stinging as sweat slips into them, remembering a time when I wanted more than friendship with Paisley. A time when I envisioned a very different future for myself than the only one I am currently building.
“Braxton?”
I don’t know how much time has passed, but going off Ryan’s frown, he must have called my name a few times. I shut off the treadmill, grabbing a towel and rubbing it over my face. “What?”
He watches me for a beat, his expression inscrutable. “Did the chief talk to you when we got back the other day?”
My knee buckles, and I catch myself with a hand on the side of the treadmill. “Yeah,” I mutter.
Ryan grabs his water bottle, chugging half of it in one go. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, saying, “He talked to me, too. Gave me the name of a counselor in Ashland.”
I pause, sliding my eyes his way. “You’re gonna go?”
“Yeah, man. I am,” he admits. “I haven’t been sleeping, and it’s fucking with my head.”
My throat is tight as I confess, “Me too.” I turn away from him, heading for the door, but I can feel his eyes on my back.
“The counselor has openings,” he says just as I reach for the door handle. “I checked. There are two appointments on Wednesday. I’m off that day. Are you?”
A few seconds pass. “Yeah, I am.” He lifts his eyebrows, a question and a challenge mixing in his stare. “You got the number?”
His lips curl into a smirk. “Sure do. Don’t worry about it, though.” I frown in confusion, but he’s walked away. “Your appointment is at one.”
“The back gate is unlocked again,” Marco says, squinting as he peers out the window into the dark evening.
He looks over his shoulder at me with a frown, mouth open, but a loud bang cuts him off when the gate slams into the side of the building.
“And the wind is picking up,” he adds wryly.
“It’s too dark to get out there now, but I can fix it tomorrow. ”
I’m already getting up. “We’ve got some plastic zip ties somewhere.” My lips twitch as I remember my conversation with Gracie about zip ties and duct tape. “It’s a temporary fix, but at least the banging won’t keep us awake all night.”
“Better than nothing,” he agrees.
I grab everything I need and pull my jacket on. Outside, the security light flicks on at my movement, and I grimace as a gust of wind hits me in the face, a shiver rolling through my body.
Don’t give a shit what Paisley said. If winter got any colder here, I’d be convincing Gracie to move somewhere else.
It takes me less than five minutes to get the gate tied to the fence post. I give it a rough shake before adding a second zip tie lower down, ensuring it won’t come loose in the night.
I’ve just gotten back inside when I hear Gracie call, “Hello? I come bearing pizza and garlic bread!”
I walk toward her voice, rounding the corner just as Asher, Ryan, and Marco descend on my girlfriend, expertly relieving her of her burden—five boxes of hot pizza and two rolls of covered garlic bread.
Ryan lifts the box he has claimed, inhaling deeply. “Gracie,” he says solemnly. “You let me know when you’re ready to leave Brax. Because lady? You’re a keeper.”
“Just because I brought you pizza?” Gracie tuts her tongue. “I never knew you were so easy.” She grins when the guys all laugh, and something eases my chest at how happy she looks. “But you know what? I might just do that. Gotta keep Brax on his toes, right?”
She peers in my direction, and I shake my head, giving her a mock disapproving look. It only makes her giggle, the light above catching the blue in her eyes and making them seem brighter than usual.
Asher looks like he’s about to start drooling, the pizza boxes clutched in a death grip. “Let’s eat in the common room,” he grunts, turning away. “There’s a game on.” Marco and Ryan are quick on his heels, but Gracie heads in my direction.
“Hey, stranger.” She comes straight into my arms, looping hers around my waist in a tight hug. I bury my nose in her hair, letting everything drain away at the comforting feel of her.
“Rumpel,” I say softly. “Missed you today.”
Gracie makes a low noise before she pulls back, nose scrunched up like she’s fighting off a sneeze. Before I can pull her back into me, Theo appears behind us, exiting the gym.
“Hey, Gracie,” she greets, coming to stand at my side, bumping her shoulder against mine.
Gracie watches the movement, her brows twitching, but her eyes lift to Theo when she says, “Cherise was asking after you the other day. She read that book you recommended, and wanted to know what she should read next.”
Gracie’s expression softens at the mention of Theo’s wife.
“Analise has been slacking on book recommendations,” she says lightly, and I groan, making her smile.
If there’s one thing I can live without knowing, it’s my sister’s taste in books.
“But I know this great new and pre-loved bookstore in Boston that sells blind dates with a book.”
“Blind dates with a book?” I ask with amusement. “What does that even mean?”
“Cherise won’t care,” Theo interjects. “Anything that involves a book in her hands makes her happy.” She scrunches her nose up. “Won’t use an e-reader, though.” She heads off toward the common room, muttering something that sounds like, “Waste of a Christmas present.”
Once she’s gone, I drag Gracie closer to me, leaning down to plant a lingering kiss on her mouth. She doesn’t hesitate, sinking into me as her lips part against the onslaught, our tongues tangling as her hands slide up my shoulders and around my neck.
She pulls back, eyes dazed, giving me a crooked smile. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”
I’m confused until I realize my hand has snuck down to grab a palmful of her ass through her thick leggings. I don’t let go, not straight away, kneading her as my lips tip up wickedly.
“I can finish,” I say. “Probably faster than I should be bragging about.”
Her eyes flare before she throws her head back in a laugh. I can’t help myself, cutting the beautiful sound off as I dip down to steal another kiss.
“Come on,” she says breathlessly. “We better go eat. Asher can probably eat at least three of those pizzas on his own, and I’ve seen Ryan put away a burger. The guy is basically a garbage disposal with teeth.”
“Let me just take this off.” I shrug out of my jacket, walking away to hang it up. “I’m glad you were able to come by tonight. How was your day at the shop?”
She blows out a loud breath. “It was nonstop today, and I have no idea why. Usually, December dies down a little bit, at least until Christmas. But Maryann is back next week, and has already promised me and Bridget that she’s changing the schedule to give us extra days off for the rest of the month. ”
When I reach her side again, I use my thumbs to rub the dark smudges under her eyes. I can’t remember the last time I looked at her and those marks weren’t there, and worry flows through me.
“I’m glad,” I murmur. “You deserve the time off.”
“Me?” she asks disbelievingly. “Says the guy who’s picking up extra shifts here, there, and everywhere.” She tilts her head, expression open. There’s nothing accusatory there, but the hit still lands when she says, “I feel like I barely see you.”
“I know. This whole month has just been…” I shake my head, hooking an arm around her neck and pulling her into my body. “There is something I wanted to tell you.”
She hums against my chest, pressing her cheek right where my heart is beating just a little too hard. “What’s up?”
I slick my tongue over my top teeth, glad her eyes aren’t on me.
“I’ve got an appointment on Wednesday with a counselor.
Over in Ashland.” She stiffens in my arms, trying to pull back, but I don’t let her.
“There was an accident a couple of weeks ago, and the chief wants me to talk to someone about it.”
There’s a stilted pause. “What accident?”
My shoulders go tight, even though I anticipated the question. “Not tonight, baby. Okay? Maybe after this counseling session, but…I can’t go there. Not yet.”
Gracie’s hands find the hem of my shirt, sliding up and pressing her palms into the bare skin of my back. Her fingers are freezing, and I gasp, arching away from the touch, but she just follows the movement. I glance down to catch the quirk of her mouth, but it’s gone as fast as it comes.
“Okay,” she murmurs hesitantly. “But you know I’m here for you, right? I didn’t even know…” The brightness of her expression has faded into something tentative, and my gut sours.
“I know,” I say, and I do. I can’t lean on her, though. She’ll take on everything I’m feeling—the rage, the helplessness…the guilt. Gracie is dealing with so much, and I don’t want her to be thinking about me when I just want her to have the kind of Christmas she always missed out on growing up.
I’m saved from saying anything else when my stomach rumbles loudly, and a startled laugh bursts out of her. “It sounds like your body is about to start eating itself.”
“Only a slight exaggeration,” I deadpan, nudging her with my hip. “Come on. Let’s go have some pizza.”
In the common room, Theo and Ryan are sitting at the small games table with two pizza boxes, while Asher and Marco have commandeered an armchair each, leaving the couch for us.
They’ve all got their eyes fixed on the television, riveted by the ice hockey game currently happening.
The other three pizza boxes are splayed out over the coffee table, one empty save for a couple of crusts.
I side-eye Marco. “The crust tastes the same as the rest of it.”
He grimaces in distaste. “It does not. It’s inherently wrong, and everyone knows it. And I’ll tell you something else.” He points a finger at me. “Anyone who eats the crusts of their sandwich is part psychopath.”
Asher rolls his eyes as Gracie whispers in my ear, “42 percent.”
I flick her a dirty look as I reach forward, snagging a couple of slices. I offer one to her, and she takes it, sinking back into the couch, her hand landing on my knee. I watch her nibbling delicately at her greasy pizza, unable to stop the smile curving my mouth.
Ryan looks away from the game, asking, “How’ve you been anyway, Gracie? Haven’t seen you around lately.”
“Maryann’s still on her honeymoon,” she tells him. She leans heavily into my side, but I don’t mind the lack of space, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Apparently, a six-day week is just not my jam.”
“Fair enough.” Ryan chuckles. “Although it might make a nice change from all the shifts we do here.”
Gracie hums an acknowledgment. “How’s Ben doing?”
Ryan’s mouth twists to the side. “Better, I think. Haven’t seen him since he got home, but he needed time to recoup.”
“When’s he back to work?”
“Monday,” I tell her. “If all goes according to plan.”
Theo’s expression flattens. “As long as he doesn’t push himself too hard or too fast. The last thing he or Holly needs is him getting sick again.” We all murmur an agreement. Ben and Holly have two young girls. I can’t imagine the kind of hell the last couple of weeks have been for their family.
“I’m going to need to do an extra workout tomorrow,” Marco mumbles around a piece of garlic bread.
“I don’t think I even ate this much on Thanksgiving.” Ryan hums in agreement, patting his flat stomach. “Worth it, though.”
“I’ve always preferred savory over sweet,” Theo adds, reaching for another slice of pizza, and I pause, my own piece halfway to my mouth, realizing this is the moment I come clean to Gracie.
I didn’t invite Paisley here today. I didn’t ask her to come around with food, and, really, she wasn’t even actually visiting me. She was bringing over food that was meant for Nick. But that won’t matter to Gracie. Not with how she’s feeling about Paisley.
Guilt swims through my veins, and my stomach churns until I put the pizza down, appetite gone.
I wrap my arm around Gracie, pulling her tighter into my side, like that might be enough to keep her, even when, deep down, I know it’s not.
“Did I say thank you?” I murmur into her ear, and she shivers. I tip my head to all the food. “For bringing us dinner? For coming to see me?”
Gracie swipes her tongue over her lips, eyes filling with heat. “No, but maybe you can show me how grateful you are.”
My eyebrows lift at her suggestive tone. “Sounds like you have an idea, Rumpel.”
“Stay with me tomorrow night, and you’ll find out.”
I chuckle, fingers pulsing against her arm. “An offer I can’t possibly refuse,” I tease. “It’s a date, baby.”