Chapter 33
Morgan
Still in her plaid cotton pajama pants, Morgan pulled out a stack of jeans from her dresser.
One after the other, she tossed three pairs onto her bed.
One skinny dark-wash. One distressed light-wash.
One medium-wash boot-cut. She scanned the sea of denim, trying to figure out which pair said brunch date with possibly the most perfect woman and her kid.
It was official. She was dating a woman with a kid. If you’d asked her two months ago if that was even in the realm of possibility, she’d have shrugged off the notion with a laugh.
Now?
Now it seemed like a natural next step in her life. If she could just push through her fears, this felt right.
Less natural was stressing out over what pants to wear. She had always been a grab-whatever-was-clean person, but now she was having a crisis over brunch jeans.
And she’d planned this brunch. Only just a night in advance, but still. She’d planned something.
Reginald hopped onto the bed and immediately plopped his big, floofy body onto the boot-cut pair.
Perfect. They were the most comfortable ones.
With half of her outfit now planned, she picked up her phone and sent a shaky-handed text.
Hey, just checking what time you wanna meet and where.
Up for anything.
Whatever Lila likes.
While she waited for a reply, she dug around through the shirts hanging in her closet. Too stretched out at the collar. Too see-through. Too tight. Too dressy. Too… everything.
A ding rang out from the bed, and she ran to check what it said. She hoped they would be ready to meet pretty soon. She couldn’t handle the stress of waiting too long.
Sorry. At the clinic with Lila. Can’t make it.
Morgan’s heart sank. Not for herself, but for poor Lila. And for Danielle. Morgan knew that whatever was going on, she must be a wreck over it. That girl was Danielle’s everything.
I hope it isn’t too serious.
Let me know later.
She waited for a reply, but none came.
It must be serious.
Morgan bit her nail, then pulled her finger from her mouth. She’d broken that habit years ago.
Reginald rolled onto his back over her jeans, but she didn’t bother shooing him off. She wasn’t wearing them out after all.
But she could change gears. It would be helpful to have something to keep her distracted while she waited to hear back.
Morgan tapped the next message thread down and checked to see if she could squeeze back in her regular Sunday plans a little earlier than normal.
Reginald hopped in between Morgan and Jen on the couch, and Morgan lifted the popcorn bowl from beside her so he wouldn’t knock it over. Or eat it. The greedy gobbler.
Jen readjusted her position and patted her lap, and Reginald accepted the invitation. She handed Morgan the remote so she could give him her undivided attention with full-body pets.
“Thanks for joining me in calling popcorn lunch,” Morgan said. “I haven’t picked up groceries for the week yet.”
In her excitement over the date-that-wasn’t, she completely forgot she’d need to eat in the coming week. But she’d still have time to make a store run after she and Jen finished watching their episode of the week.
“Oh, I’m not calling it lunch,” Jen said. “I already ordered pizza.”
Leave it to Jen to plan for Morgan’s forgetfulness.
“You’re a lifesaver. As always.”
“Speaking of saving lives, have you heard if Danielle’s kid is okay?”
Morgan shook her head. “I don’t want to bug them, but I’m kind of worried.”
“You aren’t bugging them. You’re expressing concern. That’s a good thing. Didn’t you say things went well last night?”
“Yeah, what does that have to do with this?”
“It means she likes you. She’ll like you checking on them.”
Morgan did have a good time. And she was pretty sure Danielle did, too. Maybe Jen was right.
Maybe it would even be shitty not to check on them.
Hey just checking on you guys.
Lila okay?
“There,” she said. “Happy?”
“It’s not me who needs to accept that I’m happy.”
“I accept it.”
“You still don’t trust it.”
She’d spent most of her adult life pushing people away, afraid to feel judged or used or any number of shitty things.
Jen had been the only person she’d let in after cutting ties with her family.
The only person she could trust. So it was hard to imagine that she could trust anyone else.
Or, as Jen put it, trust her own happiness.
The phone dinged, and Morgan balanced the popcorn on her legs as she checked the message.
Lila will be fine. Thanks for asking.
Morgan showed Jen the text.
“See? Told you.”
“You were right,” Morgan said. “Now what?”
“Now, you make a gesture.”
“A gesture?”
“Yeah, like with the soup. A soup gesture,” Jen said. “But not soup again. Never soup twice.”
Morgan laughed. “Okay, not soup. Other food?”
“Probably fine.” Jen waved her hands at the phone. “Ask.”
Can I bring you guys anything?
Dinner later?
She could speed-run some groceries between Jen and dinner. She’d make it work.
Thank you, but we’re fine.
Morgan couldn’t help thinking there was more to Danielle’s replies. They were short and clipped. Not Danielle’s normal style. Could something really be wrong with Lila, even though Danielle said they were fine?
“What’s happening?” Jen asked. “Your brow is doing that thing it does when something’s wrong.”
“What thing?”
Jen shrugged as she petted Reginald’s head. “It’s a weird scrunchy thing just on one side. So what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I feel like there’s something she isn’t telling me.”
“Probably just distracted with the kid,” Jen said. “Did you offer food or whatever?”
“Yeah. She said they’re fine.”
“Then maybe they’re fine. Maybe someone else came over or brought food.”
That could be it.
Melanie would be the first one over, so she probably beat Morgan to the offer. Or maybe Danielle’s other friend was over helping out. Gerri? That was her name.
Then I can check on y’all tomorrow.
We can work out a rain check when Lila is feeling better.
There. That seemed like just enough of an offer without bugging them. Hopefully, she could help out with something before work the next day.
Before she could think of what she might offer next, her phone rang in her hand. She exchanged a quick, concerned glance with Jen, then answered the call.
“Hey, Danielle. Everything okay over there? Is Lila sick or something?”
“She’ll be fine. Hurt her toe last night and needed X-rays. But it’ll be okay.”
She definitely wasn’t imagining the shortness in Danielle’s tone.
“That’s a relief,” Morgan said. “How are you? That must have been a scare.”
“I’ll be okay.” There was a long pause.” I just… I can’t do this, Morgan.”
“No, no. Of course. We can try again next weekend. No problem.”
“I meant…” There was a slight wobble to the words as Danielle composed herself on the other end. “I mean, I don’t think I can do this. At all.”
Morgan’s stomach dropped, and she looked desperately at Jen for help. But there was nothing her best friend could do. Nothing she could do to make this make sense.
“I don’t understand,” Morgan said. “I thought you said she’s okay. I thought after last night… well, I thought we were on the same page.”
“We were,” Danielle quickly added. “And she is okay. But what if she wasn’t?”
“Lila?”
“Yes. What if she wasn’t okay, and I didn’t know about it because I was off having a good time? They didn’t call me because they didn’t want to interrupt. I can’t be where they don’t want to interrupt. I need to be available.”
Jen mouthed, what’s going on? Morgan had no answer for that. None of what Danielle was saying made sense. She understood that she’d gotten a bit of a scare, but this didn’t seem like the logical conclusion to that fear.
“But, Danielle,” she said. “You can’t be with her all the time, right?”
There was a brief but pointed pause before the answer came.
“Please don’t tell me how to parent my child.”
“I’m not, I’m not.” But she kind of was. Unintentionally. But Danielle’s logic didn’t make any sense. “Listen, why don’t I text you next weekend and see how you feel then?”
“Please don’t.”
And with those two words, Morgan’s stomach turned itself into a tight knot that she didn’t think she’d ever be able to loosen.
“So you don’t want to talk to me again.” She caught sight of Jen’s eyes widening from across the couch. The knot in her stomach sent shards of pain and shock to the rest of her body while her brain struggled to make sense of this all. “So it’s my fault somehow that Lila got hurt.”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Danielle said, her voice tight with frustration. “I’m saying that I can’t do this, and I was wrong to think I could. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”
“My time wasn’t wasted. I just don’t—”
But she never got to finish, because the call ended.
Morgan dropped onto the couch, struggling to grasp what had just happened.
“Want to talk about it?” Jen moved Reginald off her lap as he voiced his annoyance. But she ignored his protest and scooted closer to Morgan. “That sounded awful.”
Morgan could only nod.
She wasn’t sure what to say. Wasn’t even sure exactly what had happened.
All she knew was that she’d been right not to trust that happiness.