Chapter Four
Pike
Rage, white hot and blinding, consumed me.
Inside the confines of my apartment I unleashed it all.
The guilt. The anger. The rage. The sadness.
The breathless grief that sometimes took my legs out from under me.
My fists slammed holes in the walls with grating satisfaction.
Lamps that I never used shattered on impact.
Breaking shit was therapeutic or so they said but so far it hadn’t helped.
My place was a fucking wreck, my blood was half booze at this point, and my anger hadn’t subsided.
I was sadder than a motherfucker and anger was my only outlet.
I never felt this crushing sadness in my life, not even when we lost our parents because they’d been gone years before they finally died.
Technically my old man had been gone my whole life, but Ash’s dad raised me like his own—when he was sober—even after she’d come along. Ash was my best friend. My baby sister.
“And now she’s fucking worm food.”
Saying that shit out loud gutted me and brought me to my knees, but I wasn’t done weaving my path of destruction just yet.
I scanned the living room where most of the shit not heavy or nailed down had been thrown against the wall, until I found something else to throw.
It didn’t make anything fucking better but it sure as fuck gave my anger somewhere to go.
Somewhere other than at Chloe.
“Fuckin’ Chloe.” Every goddamn time I closed my eyes there she was with those big green eyes, brimming with tears, just taking my anger and my bullshit.
A primal roar escaped, and I reached for the first thing I touched, a plain brown box.
I lifted it easily over my head and smashed it against the wall, watching with grim satisfaction as it cracked open and spilled its guts all over my floor.
“Fuck it!”
It wasn’t just some random fucking box, because of course it wasn’t.
I’d lived in this place for years, all the boxes I moved in with were gone.
This was one of the boxes Faith and T-Bone had packed up so I wouldn’t have to go to Ash’s place.
I glared at the items as they fell to the floor one by one.
Sketchpads, oil paintings, drawings, art supplies, and journals.
And scarves. She had so many fucking scarves.
She wore them around her hair, as belts, bracelets, hairbands, whatever she could.
They were colorful and so many of them were ugly as fuck, but god, they reminded me of her.
I grabbed the red and green one, wrapping it around the leather cuff on my wrist. I had no fucking clue what I’d do with all those scarves, but for now, I shoved them back in the box. As I was gathering them up I found an envelope addressed to me. It was written in Ash’s loopy handwriting.
Curious yet hesitant, I opened the envelope and inside there was a flash drive and another envelope with my name on it.
I shoved the letter in my back pocket, not ready to soak up her last words yet.
But the flash drive was useless because my laptop was one of the many casualties of my drunken rage.
“Motherfucker!”
Suddenly the only thing that mattered was whatever was on that fucking flash drive. My anger surged because I couldn’t watch it right now, dammit.
I knew it was a bad idea to get on my bike in the state I was in, but it had to be important. Ash left it in an envelope specifically for me and that made it really fucking important. She usually just left me a text or sent a voice note if she wanted me to know something, but this was different.
***
I made it to the clubhouse in one piece and stormed inside, making a beeline for Slate. “You’re always in this goddamn room,” I grumbled.
He turned and gave me a smirk. “You got a problem with how I spend my free time?”
“Nope, but I’m sure your woman wouldn’t mind having you at home.”
He flashed a smile at the mention of his woman. “Emma’s at work and Ashlyn is off making trouble with Leo.” He studied me for a long minute, silently judging, at least that’s what it felt like. “You okay? Besides the Ash shit, I mean.”
I shrugged. “Not sure there is ever gonna be a besides the Ash shit in my life. But she left me something.” I pulled out the flash drive and held it between us.
His eyebrows shot up. “You don’t know how to stick a flash drive into a computer?”
I rolled my eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. “I broke my laptop.” His brows shot up even higher. “Okay, I fucking smashed it. You gonna help me or not?”
Slate snatched it from my hands and plugged it in, but Diesel and Rocky entered the room followed by Hawk, Maverick, and Sniper. “What’s going on?”
Diesel leaned against the wall beside Slate, his gaze focused on those of us already gathered in the office and the others as they filtered inside. Eventually he settled his gaze on me, and I felt like I’d fucked up. Again. He spoke, “Learned something interesting from Chloe.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets, swallowing hard. If she lied about me, I’d make her regret it.
“Those assholes who attacked her at the memorial service left a message for us. They voted in a new Prez, Vendetta, and he’s put a price on Chloe’s head. And Gemma’s.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what that meant but I held my breath and waited, refusing to say some shit that would piss Diesel off. Again.
He continued. “The bricks through her windows the other week were just a warning. We’re the only thing standing between them and a death sentence.
” Diesel’s tone was grave. So many brothers had young kids and the thought of killing a kid would send them all—including, maybe even especially Diesel—into overprotective mode.
“We should just fuckin’ hang them out to dry.” The words flew from my lips before I could pull them back.
“They’re family,” T-Bone insisted, angry as he got in my face. “I know you’re hurting brother, but is that what you want? For them both to die after Ash gave her life to protect them?”
I knew I was being an asshole, and I couldn’t completely blame the booze. “Nothing’s gonna bring Ash back.”
“And Chloe should die because Ash did? Is that really what you want to happen,” he questioned.
“Look man, just because you’re shacking up with her sister don’t make her family.
” I knew it was the wrong damn thing to say before T-Bone’s fist flew at my face, nailing me square in the fucking nose.
“I’m not kicking your ass because I know you’re hurting but you need to watch your fuckin’ mouth. ”
“They are under our protection,” Diesel called out. “That’s fucking final.” He stared at me for a long time, that intense glare that made other men weak in the knees, waiting for me to say something that pissed him off.
I wisely kept my mouth shut. I watched him and waited for whatever came next because I knew this shit with Chloe wasn’t over yet.
Diesel gave one sharp nod. “Good. We need to get them as far away from Steel City as possible. Put them up in a safe house until we figure out what to do next.”
“Thank fuck,” I grumbled. Maybe with Chloe and the little girl out of sight I’d stop being such a miserable asshole. Probably not, but maybe.
“I’m glad you think so,” Diesel shot back sarcastically. “Because you need to clear your head and I have the perfect safe house for all of you.”
My eyes widened. My heart slammed against my chest as the meaning of his words became crystal fucking clear. “My head is fine,” I lied easily.
Diesel shook his head, undeterred by my rejection. “You’re no good to us like this. You’re drunk as fuck all the time. If one of the Sheriff’s men pulled you over tonight, you’d be locked up, leaving us a man down while Vendetta tries to go after Chloe and Gemma.”
Damn but he knew how to twist the fucking knife. And the worse part was that he was right. I’ve been more drunk than sober since I got the news about Ashley, and when Chloe got here, it somehow got worse. “Fuck,” I muttered to myself.
“You can handle the simple task of keeping them safe.” Diesel watched me, his words weren’t a question but a statement. He knew I could do this, and he was counting on me to do it.
I had no choice, and I knew it, but the devil within me wouldn’t let me go down without a fight.
“I can’t. Every fucking time I look her, I’m so goddamn pissed off.
” It was hard to function when she looked at me with those big green eyes that held a world of hurt and pain, all I wanted to do was scream in her face.
Hit something. “I can’t,” I repeated the words at a lower volume.
“You can’t handle one little slip of a woman and a kid?” Gio snort-laughed as he shook his head, eyes filled with mirth.
“Yo!” Slate’s voice plunged the room into silence, but the tension remained thick as fuck in the air. “Got something.” He pointed to the screen where Ashley’s face appeared.
She was frozen on the screen, a smile etched on her face.
That same wistful smile that had always been her default.
Despite having different fathers, we both had Ma’s striking blue eyes and thick chestnut hair.
Ash wore hers in soft waves, with a blue scarf tied around her hair.
She never wore much makeup, just enough to enhance her natural beauty and that was how she’d forever be burned into my memory.
“Play it,” I insisted angrily, heart thudding with a lump already caught in my throat.
“Will,” she smiled, saying my name in that tone that usually meant I wouldn’t like what she was about to say.
“If you’re watching this, that means the Ghost Riders came looking for Chloe and Gemma.
Hopefully, you and your Steel Demons have them because I told her you’d keep them safe.
” Mischief twinkled in her eyes, but then I saw a flash of sadness with the knowledge that I’d be hearing her words from beyond the grave.
“The letter will explain in more detail, but I imagine you won’t be ready to read it for a little while longer so I’m going to give you the highlights. ”
What the fuck could she say that would make any of this all right?
“I dated Marcus years before he met Chloe and I ended it because he was a man who used only his fists and never his words. I could have helped her,” she began, her tone sad and guilty.
“But I took one look at her, all pretty and waiflike and I pegged her as a biker bunny, so I didn’t warn her.
But as the months and then years wore on, her light was dimmed and I knew I held some responsibility.
So when she came to me for help, she laid out that final night and asked if I could help her get out of town.
” Ash shook her head. “It was my choice to keep her at my house and then the cabin in Shiloh Valley. I had a plan, and it could’ve worked if not for Maynard.
I’m sure he’s the reason the Ghost Riders figured it out before I could get the new identities that would’ve allowed them to start over someplace else. ”
Tears sprang to her eyes as she continued.
“They’re there now, alone and unprotected and I haven’t gone up there because I’m pretty sure I’m being followed.
So if you find this, it means I didn’t make it.
That means you have to, Will. You have to help them and keep them safe.
They didn’t deserve this and I’m so worried.
Gemma is young and she is so loved that she’ll be fine, but Chloe?
I’m not sure she can ever recover from the abuse and the torture she suffered at Marcus’ hands.
You have to help her. Do it for me, okay?
I love you, and I always will.” Tears streamed down her cheeks before she reached forward to end the video.
“Shit.” This was literally the last fucking thing Ash asked of me and there was no goddamn way I’d let her down. “Fine.”
Diesel nodded, a sympathetic look aimed my way that quickly turned to all business. “Now that we have that settled. I’ll have prospects go down tonight with a few club whores to set everything up. You’ll leave tomorrow.”
Tomorrow.
In less than twenty-four hours I’d be stuck with the woman I hated most in the world.