Chapter Eleven
Chloe
“Mommy, you’re daydreaming again.” Even Gemma’s sweet voice wasn’t enough to pull me from the constant loop of negative thoughts that invaded my mind when I let it go silent.
“Mommy’s just concentrating,” I assured her, keeping my back to her so that she didn’t see the distress I was sure was written all over my face.
“Making lunch is serious business.” Meal preparation was one of the few things I knew I was good at, no matter what Marcus claimed.
I was a good homemaker, dammit. Making lunch was so easy that my thoughts inevitably wandered to my current state.
Would this prison ever end? I knew it wasn’t fair to see it as a prison, not when the sole purpose was to keep me and Gemma alive, but the truth was that these circumstances weren’t so different than most of my marriage.
I rarely left home because Marcus was so sure I would cheat on him, ironic when he was the one who slept with anything with a pulse.
I should be grateful, and I was, but what was the point in surviving, in living life, if I would always be locked away for safety?
I sighed heavily, wearily and turned the soup down to simmer while I prepared sandwiches.
Heavy-booted footsteps sounded, alerting me to Pike’s entrance to the kitchen. He let out a low growl that made Gemma giggle. “What is that smell?” I stiffened and braced myself for the insult. “It smells fucking delicious.”
Gemma gasped. “You said a bad word Mr. Pike.”
I turned to find my little girl with wide green eyes, hand covering her mouth in shock. Pike’s lips pulled into a crooked grin. “What’s a bad word?”
“You said it smells bad word delicious. That’s the bad word.” She was so confident in her proclamation I couldn’t help but smile.
He shook his head, still smiling. “There are no bad words, Gem, just words that only grownups can say.” He watched her, waiting for the words to sink in. “Understand?”
“Why?”
My body stiffened instinctively. Marcus hated when she questioned him and though he never hit her, he punished me for what he called her feminist curiosity.
“Because rules are different for kids and adults. It doesn’t seem fair right now, but you’ll be an adult for a lot more years than you’re a kid.” It was a simple answer without vitriol or judgment, just matter of fact.
His answer impressed me, but I tried to shake off that thought. It wouldn’t do either of us any good for me to soften towards Pike. There was a world of hate and anger between us, and nothing would change that.
Gemma mulled over his words for a long moment and then nodded. “Okay.” She turned to me. “Mommy is lunch ready? It smells really good.”
I smiled and finished making the sandwiches, piling them on a platter I found mixed in with the pots and pans before setting the table. “Okay. Food is ready.”
Pike brought water and lemonade to the table along with glasses, pouring some for Gemma who thanked him sweetly.
He winked at her before filling the other glasses.
It was all so domestic my stomach balled into a tight knot and clenched hard.
This was what it should’ve been like with Marcus, but it never had been.
Not ever.
“Mommy?” The concern in Gemma’s voice pulled me from the past yet again.
I blinked to clear the memories and offered her a smile. “Eat up before Mr. Pike gobbles it up.” I flicked a gaze across the table where he was halfway through one sandwich already.
He grinned at Gemma. “She’s right. It’s really good.”
The warmth of his compliment wrapped around me like an embrace, and I sat with it for a few seconds before I grabbed a sandwich for Gemma and another for me. It was nice to cook for someone who actually appreciated my culinary efforts, however simple they were.
The table fell into a comfortable silence while we all made a dent in the corn chowder and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches.
It was a nice silence. Comfortable and almost soothing.
Almost because it was hard to feel completely comfortable with Pike’s masculine presence taking up so much space.
When he wasn’t growling at me I could admit—only to myself—that he was gorgeous and masculine. And tempting.
Too tempting for a woman who’d sworn off men as she hastily packed a few bags and escaped the life that trapped her in a cycle of abuse and isolation.
After two and a half sandwiches and two bowls of chowder, Pike slowed. I felt the weight of his gaze on me and resisted the urge to squirm. “I was thinking about our conversation about self-defense.”
My brows dipped. “I thought we exhausted that topic already.”
Surprise flashed in his eyes and amusement quirked his lips. “I didn’t think we did. You should reconsider.” His words were firm, but they weren’t a command.
“I told you it was a bad idea.” Why couldn’t he see that?
“I know what you said but I think that part is for me to decide.” He took another bite and chewed slowly, his gaze never left my face. “I think it’ll help you relax a little.”
My spine stiffened, my brows dipped into a frown and my lips pursed tightly. “I am relaxed.”
More amusement flashed. “You seem so relaxed.”
“Exactly,” I shot back and took an angry bite of my sandwich.
“You don’t sleep, the exercise will help.”
“I sleep.”
“Not enough,” he shot back angrily, but it wasn’t the kind of anger I was used to. It wasn’t dangerous, at least not physically. It was dangerous to my head and my heart because it was born of frustration. Maybe even because he cared.
Gemma’s spoon clanked in her empty bowl. “Thank you for lunch, Mommy. It was very good.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
She smiled at me and then Pike, before she jumped from her chair and escaped to the corner she commandeered for her play space.
I watched her settle on the pile of pillows Pike had constructed for her, Mandi clutched in one arm and the tablet filled with books in the other. Her lips tugged at the corners as she got lost in stories she knew by heart. I watched her out of love but also to avoid the heavy gaze I felt on me.
“Chloe.” His voice was low and tight, frustrated but the anger was gone.
Slowly I turned to him and regretted it instantly. His gaze was filled with something that looked a lot like concern. “Yes?”
“It’s not my place to say, but without sleep you won’t be at your best.”
I bristled but he reached across the table and laid a gentle hand on my forearm.
“Your reaction time will be slower if you need to react. You might start seeing things or people who aren’t there. Headaches. Irritable. This is already a stressful situation, lack of sleep won’t make it better.” His gaze held so much sincerity that I had to look away.
“I’ll think about it.”
He nodded, satisfied with that answer. “I’ll be around when you make up your mind.”
His easy acceptance shocked me. I wasn’t used to my opinion, my thoughts being respected, which was a sad reality. “Thank you.”
His lips pulled into a real smile that hit me in ways I found surprising. The look in his eyes softened but there was an unexpected heat in his gaze that made me uncomfortable in a way I hadn’t felt since the day I met Marcus.
“I promise that I will think about it,” I said. I doubt that I’d think about much else until I made a decision.
“Good.” He stood and gathered the empty dishes.
“You don’t have to do that.”
He frowned. “You cooked and I don’t have anything to do right now.” He stopped. “Unless you have a specific way you like to do things?”
I shook my head. “If someone else is doing it, they get to choose how it’s done. Thanks.”
Pike shook his head. “Thanks for lunch. It was delicious.”
“You don’t get a lot of home-cooked meals?” I was sure he had women lining up to cook for him, probably naked.
He shrugged as he washed the dishes. “The club girls cook but nothing this good. I might put on a few pounds before we leave here.”
His words were a necessary reminder of why we were here. This mountain cabin was far away from my troubles, making it easy to forget, which was dangerous. “Do you think that’s going to happen?”
He turned with a frown. “You don’t?”
I shrugged. “No offense but I’m not sure. I’ve lived like this for years and every time I think it’s over, it’s not.”
Understanding flashed in his eyes. “I don’t have an exact timeline, but I do know that keeping busy, like say, self-defense lessons, will make the time go faster.”
Somehow his words teased a laugh out of me. “Real subtle.”
“I know. Subtlety is my specialty.” His smile was contagious, which was the only explanation for what I said next.
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
The smile he flashed was pure triumph, which shouldn’t have been as sexy as it was.