Chapter 14 Stella
FOURTEEN
STELLA
About a week in, I’d fooled myself that taking care of a second grader was a piece of cake.
Bennie was pure joy, even when she was angling for another cookie or fifteen more minutes before she had to take a bath.
She was sweet enough to help me forget my adult troubles, like where I went from here in October.
While I’d waited outside her school at dismissal today, watching all the kids empty out of the building with no sign of Bennie, my heart sank into my stomach with the worst kind of dread.
Her teacher had come out to get me and ushered me into the principal’s office. Bennie met my gaze with red and swollen eyes, fat tears streaming down her cheeks. Two girls sat on the opposite side of the office, whispering and glaring at Bennie.
The principal and her teacher had explained that she’d gotten into an argument with two girls on the way out of class, which was unlike the Bennie I’d gotten to know.
After a few minutes of grilling all three girls, the other two admitted they’d called Bennie a liar for saying that she was friends with Nate Becker, had told her that her father wasn’t a real doctor, and that she had an ugly boy’s name because she didn’t have a mother.
Yes, they were all kids, but kids could be assholes. And these two, snickering at Bennie in front of all of us, were brazen assholes—the worst kind.
What upset me the most was how not upset the teacher and principal were about it, saying, “Kids will be kids.” After a lot of back-and-forth, and a reluctant and insincere apology from the girls, I somehow ended up volunteering as lunch monitor two days a week to keep an eye on Bennie.
Mean girls like that usually had a posse, and if the teacher wasn’t watching or didn’t care to, I would.
A friend had asked me to consult on an assignment with her, but she only needed a couple of hours a day from me that I could do after school.
Watching Bennie mope all the way home infuriated me all over again, but I was afraid that seeing me mad would upset her even more.
“Is Daddy going to be mad at me because I pushed them?” Bennie asked as we rounded the corner toward the house, her gaze stuck to the ground for most of the way.
“No way. He’ll be proud of you for defending yourself.” I stepped in front of her, bending down to meet her gaze.
“Hey,” I said, squeezing her shoulder so she’d look up. “You have an amazing name. Daddy is a real doctor, and Nate adores you. Don’t listen to people like Sienna and Jessica.”
“Yeah, they’re big jerks.”
I agreed, and I wanted to tell her that jerks like Sienna and Jessica were in every school, but I didn’t want to give those two any more airtime in Bennie’s head for today.
I was thankful that this had happened on a Friday to let Bennie recover for a couple of days before she saw them again, even if it was a lousy way to start a weekend.
“How about,” I said, tapping my chin, “we order pizza and ice cream, and I let you stay up an extra hour?”
She gasped, her eyes wide as they met mine.
“Can we watch the whole game tonight?”
“We sure can,” I said as I unlocked the door and held it open for her to step inside.
“How can you order ice cream? It might melt by the time it gets here.”
“Well, my friend Bailee told me about a place that delivers ice cream sundaes. They keep them on dry ice until they get here.”
“How is ice dry? Does that make it extra cold?” Her nose crinkled as she peeled off her jacket.
“Yes, it does,” I said, not really knowing for sure.
“Yes!” She pumped her fist in the air. “Thank you, Stella,” she breathed out as she hugged my waist. I’d just suggested breaking every rule, but it wasn’t a school night and she’d had a bad day.
Seeing Bennie’s crumpled-up, tearstained face had upset me too, so I’d be eating my feelings along with her.
“It will be so cool to see you at lunch. I think you scared Ms. Cullen.”
“I did?” My stomach clenched. I had gotten loud enough for the principal to tell me to calm down, but I hadn’t thought I’d been scary.
“She jumped. Like this.” Bennie held her hands up and jerked back.
I’d made her teacher flinch, yelled at the principal, and was about to load her up with cheese and sugar.
I was going down in quite the blaze of glory tonight as a nanny or babysitter or whatever my official title was.
“Go upstairs and change. Maybe we can play a board game or pick out a movie before the game starts at seven if you hustle.”
“Hmm,” she said, her lips twisting. “I’ll think about it.”
I laughed as she stomped up the stairs.
Plopping on the couch, I dug out my phone and texted Lee. He wouldn’t look until later, as the few hours before a game were his busiest time. I never heard from him until after the game, sometimes during if no one was hurt or needed treatment.
I tapped the screen with my fingernail and tried to figure out where to begin—the trouble Bennie had had at school or that I’d had right after.
Stella
Hey! I know you’re working with the guys right now, but I wanted to let you know Bennie had a little trouble in school today.
Two girls picked on her on the way out of class and she pushed them away, so they all got into trouble.
But they’re assholes, and it wasn’t Bennie’s fault.
So I’m keeping her up late and stuffing her with pizza and ice cream, and you can get on me later for being a pushover. Good luck tonight!
I pressed send and tossed the phone on the table, laughing at a memory of my mom being escorted out of school when she’d lost it after bullies had come for my brother.
I’d always laughed when the teachers would eye her with caution, all the way up to my eighth-grade graduation.
Now, as I’d be monitoring lunch twice per week, they’d probably all regard me like a ticking time bomb.
“Stella,” Bennie called out in a little voice as she slid next to me on the couch.
“Yeah, kiddo?” I looped my arm around her waist and drew her into my side.
“I’m glad you’re here.” She peered up at me with sad eyes, dropping her head to my shoulder.
“So am I, Ben,” I said, pulling her into a hug. “But we aren’t going to think about mean girls or school anymore today. I already told your dad I was breaking all the rules for a night.”
She nodded, smiling up at me.
My mother would get a kick out of how I’d kept tradition, even though Bennie wasn’t my kid.
But during all that anger and sadness I’d felt on her behalf, she’d sure felt like mine. The no-mother comment one of the girls had made had enraged me, but it was more than that. I’d fallen for Bennie pretty hard after only a week of taking care of her.
My mother had warned me about attachments and blurred lines, but they didn’t only extend to Lee.
After dinner, we only made it through half our sundaes and took to the couch for the rest of the night, watching random shows Bennie wanted to show me on YouTube until game time.
“Look, there’s Nate,” Bennie said, nudging my side with her foot as we watched the Bats game from the couch.
Her crush was cute and innocent, but I hoped she wouldn’t be hurt if she ever saw him out with a woman since I was sure that smile got him plenty once he stepped off the field.
The Bats were home for a week after Tuesday night’s game in Boston. Maybe Nate could pick her up from school one afternoon. It would cause chaos at dismissal, but it would be worth it to see those girls eat all that crow. I was petty enough to orchestrate it all, but Lee might not be so on board.
My phone buzzed on the coffee table after Nate got a single.
Lee
Everyone seems to be healthy tonight, so I thought I’d reach out. Bennie’s okay?
Stella
She is. Now. What bothered me the most was that the principal and teacher didn’t want to do anything about it.
Lee
Let me guess. Sienna and Jessica?
Stella
She’s had trouble with them before?
Lee
I think they all have. Their parents attended school there and still run all the events. They’re like legacy, so their kids never get into that much trouble, no matter what they do or how they act. It’s a lot of bullshit, but nothing is really done about it.
Stella
Do their parents volunteer for lunch too?
Lee
I think one of them does or they used to. Why?
Stella
Because I am. Twice a week.
Lee
You’re kidding me. You want to take care of MORE kids?
Stella
At least if I’m there sometimes, they may think twice before they decide to make Bennie their next victim.
Stella
And I may have gotten a little aggressive.
Lee
Aggressive? You?
Stella
Bennie thinks I scared her teacher and made her flinch.
Lee
I would have loved to see that.
Stella
They were assholes and said some pretty awful things.
Lee
So you said. What did they say?
Stella
That she doesn’t really know Nate. You’re not a real doctor, and she has a stupid boy’s name because she has no mother.
Lee
Wow, they said all that? They really are assholes.
Stella
The no-mother comment set me off, I think. It’s why your daughter is lying here in a food coma next to me.
Lee
They aren’t the first to say I’m not a real doctor, and I’m not, in a literal sense. Some people don’t understand the impact of what I do or how the guys look for me first if they’re hurt or get a random pain. I’ll explain that to Bennie when I’m home and how she should shrug it off like I do.
Lee
I hate the no-mother comment too, but I expect that to happen as she gets older.
Lee
Katie named her Bennet after Pride and Prejudice. Her full name is Bennet Elizabeth. It was like her own little inside joke.
Stella
I love that.
Lee
Her mom loved to read like she does. And I don’t think I ever told her that or where her name came from.
Stella
Sounds like you both have a lot to talk about when you get home.
Lee
I guess I do.
Lee
You sure you want to volunteer at school if you call kids assholes?
Stella
These two are! Listen, kids can be assholes. And screw them being legacy.
Stella
Would Nate mind picking her up one day next week?
Lee
He would do it if we asked him. He’s a pain in the ass, but he loves Bennie.
Lee
Speaking of assholes, no word from your ex or anyone else? Jimmy said the block was quiet.
Stella
You text with Jimmy?
Lee
When I’m away, yes.
Stella
That’s cute.
Lee
Stella…
Stella
No. I spoke to the detective again the other day and no activity. Nothing for me to do or worry about at the moment.
Lee
Good. I’ll kick ass for you too.
Stella
I didn’t kick anyone’s ass.
Lee
You didn’t report to school yet.
Stella
Very funny.
Lee
I’m glad you’re here. I mean there, whatever.
Stella
I’m glad I’m here too.
Lee
In a few days, I’ll be there too. In my own bed. I can’t fucking wait.
Stella
I’m sure. Go back to the game. Text me after, or if you’re up to it, you can call. We may still be up.
Lee
I’ll try. And I mean it. I’m glad you’re there, and Bennie is too.
“Is that Daddy?” Bennie asked, pointing to my phone.
“Yes. How did you know?”
“You always smile when you text.” She yawned into the pillow, the sugar high already crashing. “And he does that when he talks about you. You guys must be really good friends.”
“We are,” I said, trying to form words after that little gut punch.
I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back as all the blurred lines ricocheted around in my head.