Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
STELLA
“Look, it’s Taylor!”
I grabbed Bennie just as she was about to take off up the aisle.
“Our seats are right next to theirs,” I told her, stepping in front of her to slow her down. “You don’t have to run, kiddo. You can talk to Taylor the entire game.”
She nodded but still pulled me so hard toward our row for today’s home game, I almost tripped as we approached.
“Hey, Bennie,” Rachel said, stepping in front of her teenage sister with her arms stretched out. “Before you run up to Taylor, I need a hug first.”
Bennie giggled as she gave Rachel a quick hug.
“Stella, this is my sister, Taylor.” Rachel nodded to the beautiful girl behind her as Bennie tackled her with a hug. “Tay, this is the Stella I was telling you about.”
“I didn’t know I was so popular,” I joked. “Very nice to meet you, Taylor.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Taylor said, smoothing her long, raven ponytail off her shoulder. I could see the resemblance between her and Rachel, even though they looked different enough at first glance not to seem like sisters at all.
Taylor was tall and lean, a head taller than her older and curvier sister, with fair skin and eyes almost as dark as her hair. Rachel’s features were more golden, her chestnut hair almost matching her brown eyes.
“I love your hair,” Taylor said, taking Bennie’s hand. “You have to show me how to do that.”
“Stella did it! She knows all kinds of braids.” Bennie gave me a quick smile over her shoulder before settling in a seat next to Taylor.
“Bennie thinks my sister is the coolest person ever, other than Nate,” Rachel whispered to me.
“So I’ve heard.” I chuckled, peeking at Bennie rambling to a very patient Taylor. “She’s good with Bennie.”
“She’s very good with all kids. Which will be helpful soon,” Rachel whispered, her gaze drifting to her sister.
“Are you…”
She bobbed her head in a slow nod.
“It’s super early, and I haven’t told my sister yet. She’ll be so excited, and God forbid…” Rachel trailed off.
“I get it. But that’s great. Congratulations.”
“Thanks. Silas is over-the-moon excited. I’m hoping for a little boy since I already have a girl.” She nodded toward Taylor.
Rachel was her sister’s guardian, but Lee had never mentioned what had happened to their parents, other than Rachel had raised Taylor alone since she was a baby, and I didn’t know Rachel well enough to pry.
“I’m sure he’ll come out with a Bats hat on.”
“Probably,” she said, laughing when her gaze caught Silas as he jogged onto the field. “I just want a little Silas to spoil.”
I nodded, smiling despite a sadness weighing in my gut.
Settling down with someone and having kids were a part of a very distant, still questionable future for me.
Whenever I’d think of my parents, dancing in the kitchen all the time until my father was too sick to walk, it was hard not to yearn for what they had.
Yearning and dreaming weren’t bad things, but I hadn’t learned how to redirect them from one person, the person who’d hijacked most of my brain today.
“Hey, Rachel,” a deep voice greeted from the aisle. A tall man in a Bats uniform approached our row. “I thought I spotted you. I was just getting my parents settled in.”
“Hey, Deacon. That’s great they’re in town to see the game.”
“Yeah, just for the weekend.” He glanced toward an older couple in the second row. “First time in New York too.”
“After living here my entire life, it’s hard to imagine being a tourist, right?” Rachel scrunched her nose at me.
Deacon ran a hand through his short, wavy hair, a loose curl falling down his forehead.
The crinkles in the corners of his eyes and the gray I spotted in his stubble made him seem more management than ballplayer, even though he was built and broad-shouldered like one.
His thick biceps worked as he reached up to set his baseball cap back on his head.
“Sorry, I usually have manners. I’m Deacon,” he said as his gaze snagged on mine, cracking a wide, striking smile.
“Stella,” I said, taking his extended hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Rachel pressed her palm to her forehead. “I’m the one with no manners. Stella’s a friend of Lee’s and takes care of Bennie. Deacon is the Bats’ new batting coach.”
“I’m another Washington import,” Deacon said.
“I played with Silas before he retired. We both saw a lot of Lee over those last seasons.” He chuckled.
“Lee mentioned a friend of his was watching his daughter while he was on the road.” His gaze roamed my face before it shifted to Bennie.
“Hi, Bennie. I thought you’d be helping us practice today. ”
“Daddy said he had to work on the guys this morning, so they couldn’t do jumping jacks with me today.” Her deep frown made me laugh.
“She’s an official trainer,” Deacon said to me, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “She’s got a whistle and everything. So, how long have you been taking care of her?”
“I started before your big road trip.”
“Don’t remind me.” He groaned. “I’m thrilled to be in one place for a while—and at least on this coast for the next month. I think I hear a touch of a New York accent. I’m guessing you’re a native.”
“Yes. I grew up in Brooklyn with Lee. I used to travel a lot for work and lost most of it, but since I’ve been home, the accent has been creeping back. I can’t seem to fight it.”
“Don’t. It suits you,” he said, his eyes lingering on mine as his smile deepened.
“Stella,” Bennie said, rushing up to me before I could figure out how to reply to Deacon’s compliment. “Can I get a strawberry water ice? They only have them here, and I promise I’ll be really careful and not get it on my shirt.”
“Your dad mentioned you’d probably want one, but he said only one small size.”
“And that’s it. I promise.” She held up her hand.
“Okay, kiddo.” I stood to take her hand. “Anyone want anything?”
“No thanks,” Rachel said, nodding to the top of the aisle. “The stand is right outside the gate. You can’t miss it.”
“You have a lot of faith in me. I’m sure Bennie can find it.” I tugged on the end of her braid.
“I can! I know just where it is,” Bennie said as she pulled me forward.
“I can help you too,” Deacon called out behind us.
“Thanks, but don’t you have a game?” I narrowed my eyes when he caught up to me.
“I’m not playing. I’ve been training them all morning. Nothing else for me to do but watch for now. The dugout entrance is right here.” He nodded as we stepped into the hallway. “How long are you staying with Lee?”
“Until the end of the season, whenever that is,” I replied softly so Bennie wouldn’t hear. Lee had said I was staying for the season, but as she’d always mention that I lived with them, I wasn’t sure if it had sunk in.
“There it is!” Bennie pointed to the extensive line already spreading down the long hall.
“I guess everyone wants a water ice.”
“You should get one too!” Bennie said as she yanked on my arm.
“I love a good water ice. I would if I weren’t working. Silas will get mad if I stain my uniform,” Deacon said to Bennie, flicking his eyes to me.
“Okay, you’ve both convinced me.” I set my hands on Bennie’s shoulders to hold her in place in front of me, Deacon’s eyes still focused on me in my periphery.
“Your husband doesn’t mind you being away all summer and hopefully part of the fall?
” Deacon asked, still lingering next to me and attracting side glances from the people in front of us.
I wasn’t sure if it was his uniform or if people recognized him or if it was because he was sticking so close to us.
“No, my husband doesn’t mind,” I said with a laugh. “Mostly because he doesn’t exist.”
“Then your boyfriend must be pretty understanding.” His dark eyes narrowed at me when I turned my head.
“Is this your way of asking if I’m single?”
“I thought it was a smoother way than just asking point-blank, but I guess not.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, breathing out a nervous chuckle. “I probably should get on the field. Hopefully my game is better there. Enjoy the ice, Bennie, and it was great to meet you, Stella.”
His gaze lingered on mine before he jogged down the hall.
“Aunt Deb used to get mango,” Bennie said, scanning the menu over the stand as the line inched forward, oblivious to everything Deacon had said. “Strawberry is the best, though.”
“Then I’ll get strawberry too,” I said.
“We can be like twins or best friends.” Bennie beamed up at me.
“Sounds great to me.” I wrapped my arms around her as my gaze drifted toward Deacon’s departure.
I wasn’t up to dating and had no time for it. Even if I were open to seeing someone, going out with someone working for the Bats wasn’t a good idea, whether Lee would be leaving at the end of the season or not.
I bought our water ices and headed back to our seats.
“Here.” I shoved two napkins in Bennie’s hands before she went back to Taylor. At least her shirt was pink if it dripped. “Eat it slowly and be careful.”
“You have to eat it slow, Stella. Or you’ll get an ice head hurt.” She widened her eyes as she set her little hand on the top of my head.
“I’ll watch her,” Taylor said, lifting Bennie onto her lap.
“This is going to be a disaster,” I said to Rachel. “I hope I have enough napkins.”
Rachel burst out laughing.
“She’ll be fine, all part of the fun.” Rachel’s eyes flicked to the aisle. “So I think you made an impression on Deacon.”
“He asked if I was single while we waited in line.”
“Ohh,” Rachel said, her brows arching up. “What did you say?”
“I…don’t think I said anything, come to think of it. I am but not interested.”
“Because of Lee?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. The answer was yes, but I didn’t know how to get into all the reasons why it was because of Lee.
“Well, because dating someone on the Bats may get weird for him. Plus, I’m here to watch Bennie.”
“They’d have the same days off, for the most part. Lee would have Bennie those days anyway, right?”
“I guess that’s true. But…” I shook my head. “Not a good idea.” I took a long lick from my water ice. “I know your romance-writer brain is thinking of ways it could be.”
“No.” She chuckled. “Why would it be weird for Lee? You guys are just friends, right?”
“We are.” I scraped my spoon around my water ice, not wanting to raise my head and try to explain the real reason why I didn’t want to date Deacon, much less acknowledge it to myself. “I guess it’s not a big deal, but—”
“I’m sorry.” Rachel cringed when I turned my head. “You’re probably right. The romance writer in me wants to pair people up and make them as stupidly happy as me.” She draped her hand over mine. “I didn’t mean to be pushy. Your reasons are your business.”
Dating someone like Deacon would probably be easy. He’d been a little forward but had some humble charm about it, and he had filled out his uniform nicely enough for me to notice.
But Zach had seemed easy at first too.
I couldn’t go through the motions with anyone else, even for a random date, if I wasn’t invested.
I’d get there, but that day wasn’t today.
And until I got over Lee and whatever was happening between us, that day was a million light-years away.