Chapter 19 #2
His smile was easy. Easier than I deserved. Deacon was a good guy. If Stella did want to date him… I still couldn’t complete that thought. It wasn’t because I was thinking of her with Deacon; it was thinking of her with another guy who wasn’t me.
“Good night, everyone,” Deacon said with a wave and headed down toward the offices.
“I know,” I said to Silas, letting my head fall back against the wall.
“You can’t go on like this. You know that, right?” Silas said, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he padded over to me. “Deacon is a good guy who took it in stride, but with someone else, you might have a fight on your hands if you act like that.”
“Right. Listen, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” He shook his head. “Just do something about it before it eats you alive. I’ve been there,” he said, glancing back at Rachel. “Take it easy tonight. And in general.”
I nodded, because what else could I say? I was losing my mind because I didn’t want to lose Stella, and she wasn’t even mine.
I trudged down the hall and found Stella and Bennie giggling near the bathroom.
“You ladies ready to go home?”
“Can Adrian sign my ball?” Bennie asked. “Stella said I could put it in a case too. I don’t play baseball and I don’t want to ruin it, so I think that’s a good idea.”
“It’s a very good idea. Should we get a case for your Nate jersey too?” I asked, reaching for her hand.
“Oh no. I can wear that and not play.”
I snuck Stella a smile over Bennie’s head while I walked them out of the stadium to the parking lot.
“I’ll see you guys at home,” I told Bennie, and I strapped her into the back of Stella’s car. “I’m thinking pizza tonight if you didn’t fill up on water ice.”
“It was only one, Daddy.” She rolled her eyes like she was seventeen not seven. “And you can’t get full from water ice. It’s just water.” Bennie twisted her lips. “Don’t be silly.”
“And half dripped on her shirt as she looked for Nate on the field and gabbed to Taylor for the whole game. I think she can handle mushroom pizza.”
“As long as you keep the mushrooms on your side, that sounds great.” I winked at her and shut the door.
“Listen, about Deacon… I just wanted you to know that I wouldn’t do that.”
My head whipped to Stella’s gaze. She chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes wary as she searched my face.
“Wouldn’t do what?”
I already felt like an asshole for reacting like I had, even more so now if she thought she’d done something inappropriate. I was in the wrong, but I didn’t know how to explain the way I was acting without freaking her out.
“I wouldn’t date someone you worked with and make it weird for you. Plus, I’m not interested in dating, period, for a while. I’m here for Bennie for the next few months. All of that can wait.”
Eventually, Stella would leave and be ready for “all of that” with someone else, and I had no right to hate it so much if all I was going to do about it was act like the jealous boyfriend I wasn’t.
“You don’t need to explain. Who you date is your business.” I leaned against the car, hoping I sounded sincere, as the thought of her dating anyone continued to turn my stomach. “I’m fine with whatever you want to do.”
“Okay,” she said, dragging out the word as she squinted at me.
“Okay, what?”
Stella’s lips curved as she darted her eyes to the ground.
“You didn’t seem fine. You seemed mad, and I wanted to make sure you knew that I wouldn’t pick up guys while I was taking care of your kid. Deacon ran off before I could shut him down.”
“I know you wouldn’t. I mean…” I trailed off, scrubbing a hand down my face. Silas was right, I was cracking, and it was only a matter of time before I’d explode. “I was just surprised he did that in front of Bennie.”
“He’d probably thought Bennie was preoccupied with her water ice like I had, but she’s like a cute little sponge.” She glanced inside the car. “It was innocent, really. She didn’t hear anything other than him asking if I had anyone missing me while I stayed with you.”
I missed her. While I was away and when I thought of her leaving. Even though I couldn’t find the words to tell her that, I’d been showing it all over the damn place.
“I shouldn’t have acted that way to either of you, and I’m sorry. Deacon only wanted to shoot his shot with a beautiful woman.” A smile drifted across my mouth. “Can’t blame a guy for being human, right?”
A laugh fell from her lips.
“Sure. Better keep me away from the rest of the team. I’ll be too distracting.”
If she only knew how distracting she was.
“If I could, I would.”
It was a slip and a wimpy confession that just sort of landed, judging by the flicker of recognition in Stella’s eyes before she blinked it away.
“See you at home,” I said, still embarrassed over how I’d acted, but my caveman heart swelled at the reminder that, at least for now, her home was with me.
“See you at home.” She nodded, giving me a tight smile as she walked over to the driver’s side and climbed in.
I waved at my daughter as they drove off. I’d told Silas I’d been worried about getting too used to Stella waiting for me at home with my daughter, but I was already there.
We were already there.
But I had no clue where to take us from here.