Chapter 17
Haddy
Lying in my bed, I can’t seem to keep my eyes closed as I think about what just happened with Gavin. My insides are warm and throbbing from his rough invasion, and my breasts tingle from his kisses and sucks.
I’m relaxed from that incredible release, but I can’t seem to sleep. I wish…
My eyes drift to the door, and I wonder if anyone would notice if I sneaked down the hall. Gina usually sleeps late, and I could set an alarm. My heart jumps when the door opens on its own.
A large figure slips into my room, and without a word, he lifts the blankets. His warm body slides into bed with me, and he puts his large, strong hand on my waist.
One inhale floods my senses with his scent of soap and leather.
“Gavin,” I whisper, reaching up to cup his cheek, finding it impossible to keep the smile off my face. “You read my mind, only… we’re really close to Gigi’s room here.”
His warm lips press gently against mine. “It’s okay. Just sleep. I want to hold you.”
He turns me so my back is against his chest, and his arm is tight around my body. I’m not sure I’ll fall asleep with his warm breath at my neck, but soon my eyes are growing heavy.
The next thing I know, I’m blinking my eyes open to the sun streaming through my windows. Gavin is gone, and I sit up, looking around to see Patsy stamping her little feet to be let out of her crate. A message is on my phone.
Gavin
Hope you slept well. You’re beautiful in the sunrise.
My stomach tingles, and my lips part. I don’t know if this is going too fast. I don’t know if I can stop it if it is.
I do know I have a lot to do at the lab today and I need a shower and Pats needs to go out. Throwing the blankets back, I jump out of bed and open her crate.
“Hey, Super P, it’s about time you remembered where your parents lived.” Dad pulls me into a hug. “Where are your cousins this evening?”
“Mav has a game and Gigi is judging a dog show.”
He takes my hand in his large one, and I follow him into my childhood home, a gorgeous Frank Lloyd Wright style concrete mansion in the hills.
I loved growing up here with him and Mom and all our little rituals, the movie nights, the game days, trips south to visit our family.
As we pass through the living room, I spy a football on the couch—no doubt being used for a pillow at some point.
One thing my dad always had in his arms besides me or Mom was a football. When he finally retired, it was a total given he’d take a job as one of those sports guys on ESPN. He’s a natural on television, and with his outgoing nature, everybody loves him.
“Haddeee!” Mom calls from the kitchen. “Get in here and give your mother a kiss.”
“Hi, Mom.” I go to where my gorgeous mother stands barefoot in front of the stove whipping up her famous shrimp and veggie stir-fry with fish sauce.
Her dark hair is styled in a ponytail and her curves are accentuated by the red, flowered wrap dress she’s wearing.
“What’s new in the atmosphere? Saved any lives lately?” It’s something she’s actually done in her line of work.
“I wish.” I open the refrigerator and take out a can of sparkling water, hoping it’ll settle my stomach.
Mom’s shrimp and veggie stir-fry is one of my favorite dishes she makes. It’s restaurant-quality, but for some reason, my throat tightens at the scent.
“It’s been pretty slow this semester,” I continue. “Daniel and I’ve resorted to working on our language skills. Check me out, Kazamuki wa?”
Her slim brows rise, and she makes an impressed face. “What does that mean?”
“Which direction is the wind?”
“That’s pretty cool, P!” Dad reaches into the refrigerator for a bottle of white wine. “Now you’re bilingual. Heck, it won’t be long before you know everything.”
That makes me snort. “Not everything, Dad.”
Dad is six-foot-two, and I inherited his bright blue eyes. My dark hair came from my mom—along with my perfect sense of style and love of old movies.
“Who’s Daniel?” Mom arches an eyebrow, but I shake my head, sipping my water.
“Just a student at the Japanese institute that’s co-sponsoring our research. Trust me, it is not a love connection.”
“If you never date anyone, Hayden Lucille, how will I ever get a grandbaby?”
“Give me time. I’m almost finished with my master’s, then I have to decide if I’ll get my doctorate.”
I’m still on the fence about getting a PhD, but it helps if I want to be a professor. I really just want to finish this study.
“Babies won’t keep you from achieving your dream. I hadn’t done anything when I had you.”
“But you had Dad.”
“Not at first.” Mom lifts the spoon from the sauce. “Taste this and let me know what you think.”
The gesture fills me with warmth. Our family has always bonded over food and music…
and in my house movies. Stepping forward, I meet her eyes remembering being a little girl watching her skip around the kitchen in her bare feet and singing “Good Morning, Baltimore,” which was her talent when she was in pageants. It made me so happy.
The spoon comes closer, and I hesitate. The scent meets my nose, and again, my throat tightens strangely. My stomach trembles as if in warning.
“Here, let me do it.” I take the spoon from her hand and carefully pull just a tiny bit into my mouth.
As soon as it hits my taste buds, my stomach drops, and too much saliva pools in the back of my throat.
“What’s the matter?” Mom’s forehead crinkles. “Is it bad?”
She takes the spoon from me, finishing the bite, when a gag pulls me forward.
“Oh…” I clap a hand over my mouth.
“Get to the bathroom, quick! Your dad’s a sympathetic barfer!”
“What’s happening?” Dad turns worried eyes from me to her and back again. “Why is Haddy barfing?”
Flying to the half bathroom beside the kitchen, I slam through the door and flip the lid up just in time to lose all my sparkling water in the toilet bowl.
“Oh my gosh,” I groan, pulling the lever to flush it as I brace a hand on my forehead.
My arms tremble, and I wait several seconds for my stomach to unclench. When I’m pretty sure I’m done, I stand slowly, turning to the sink and scooping water into my mouth. I do it several times, doing my best to get the taste of that sauce off my tongue.
“It tastes good to me…” Dad’s voice is quiet when I return to the kitchen. “You okay, honey?”
“I don’t know.” My face feels cool and hot at the same time.
“Want some ginger ale?” Dad carries a can to where I pull out a chair at the small table in the kitchen.
“I think I’m going to wait.”
“Is there a bug going around school?” Mom walks over to put her hand on my forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”
“To be honest, I’ve felt kind-of off all day. I had a chicken salad sandwich from the cafeteria at lunch… maybe it had turned?”
Dad goes back to where he left the wine. “I never get anything with mayo on it anywhere but here.”
“That’s probably a good rule of thumb.” Mom returns to the stove, where she turns the fire off under the wok. “Would you rather some broth? Chicken noodle soup?”
“No, thanks.” I stand slowly, picking up my purse. “I might just head back to the house. If I do have a bug, I don’t want to give it to you two.”
“Oh, no!” Mom makes a pouty face. “We didn’t get enough of a visit with you, and I’d cued up Mermaids for us to watch tonight.”
“I love that movie!” I make a pouty face as well. “It’s perfect for this time of year.”
“I know.” She hugs me close. “It’s okay, baby. Cher, Winona, and Christina will be here when you’re feeling better.”
“What are your plans for Newhope? I’ve got two weeks left in the semester, so I’ll be pretty slammed, but I’ll try to get back over here before y’all leave town if I can.”
“Don’t stress about that.” Mom tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, looking into my eyes with concern. “We’re headed down next week, but we’ll be glad to see you kids at Christmas.”
Gigi, Mav, and I always fly to Newhope together as soon as Mav plays his last game. He gets a whole three days off for Christmas, and we do our best to cram in as much family time as possible.
Chewing on my lip, I think about Gavin and Christmas.
For the entire month, we’ve been sneaking around at the house. It’s been risky and uncontrolled and sexy. Perhaps the most dangerous was when he slipped into the shower with me.
The music on my phone had suddenly grown louder, and the exhaust fan switched on. My mind went straight to Poltergeist, until he stepped inside the shower curtain fully naked, with that perfectly chiseled body on full display.
His physique really is perfect. I know from Maverick they train with weights and stretch and do cardio in addition to playing strenuous games almost every night of the week. Seeing him like that, with his muscles so defined and his cock erect and ready, I was instantly wet.
He gave me one order. “Put your hands on the wall and don’t scream.” Then he took a knee.
It was probably the hottest experience of my life, and I can’t believe no one heard us.
So for the past four weeks, we’ve been sneaking around, and now the holidays are here. We haven’t talked about it, but I’m sure he’ll visit his family in Wilmington, which is miles away from our family in Newhope.
We’re not official. We’re fooling around, right? We haven’t said what we’re doing, but every night when he slips into my bedroom and holds me in his arms, I grow a little more attached.
The guys have a game tonight, but when I walk in, I see Gigi. She’s eating a bowl of pasta on the couch and watching Isle of Dogs with Spanky lying on the floor at her side and Patsy curled in her lap.
“What are you doing home so soon?” She puts her bowl on the coffee table and sits up straighter. “Y’all didn’t have an argument… Did your mom offer to pay for college again?”
I shake my head, still unsettled. “My stomach’s messed up. I barfed, and I decided I’d better come home and go to bed.”
“Oh, no! Can I get you anything? Chicken soup?”
“No, it’s okay.” I put my hand on the stair railing. “I probably just ate something weird.”
“I’ve got Peepee, so don’t worry about her.” She lifts the little dog off the couch, and I take a beat to give her little brown head a pet before heading upstairs.
Sitting at my desk in my bedroom, post-shower, I rub my fingers against my forehead still thinking. My chest is tight, and I don’t like the nervous path my logical brain is following.
Mom said I’ve always been so analytical, working out problems, finding solutions. She said I get it from her, the need to have an answer. Knowledge is power, but it’s also security.
Only this knowledge is terrifying me.
After our reckless Halloween hook-up in which I did something I never do, I went straight to the gynecologist and got a fresh box of birth control patches. I’d been a little careless about changing and reapplying them, but after that night, I’d been a “perfect” user.
Still, the painful knot in my throat reminds me I hadn’t always been.
I pull up the calendar on my phone, counting the weeks since Halloween. Friday will be five weeks, and I haven’t had a period since…
My face flashes cold then hot, and I slide off my chair onto the floor of my bedroom. The first of October was my last period. Bending my knees, I press my eyes against the backs of my hands. Don’t borrow trouble, Haddy… Don’t borrow trouble.
After allowing myself a ten-second freak-out, I straighten my shoulders and crawl across the floor to my bed. Lifting the blankets I climb under them and hug my knees to my chest.
It’s dark when I feel him join me. His large hand slides to the hem of my sleep shirt, going under it to cover my bare skin. Most nights I relax into how good his touch feels. Most nights it leads to us having quiet-as-possible sex.
Tonight, I’m too panicked to relax into his embrace. I can tell he notices my stiffness when his hand moves from caressing my bare stomach to holding my shoulder.
“Something wrong?” His voice is warm, concerned.
Pulling the blanket to my mouth, I swallow a sob.
Clearing my throat, I manage to whisper, “I was sick this evening. I think I have a stomach bug.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He rises up on his elbow, but I don’t dare look at him.
I know if I meet his gaze, he’ll see the fear in my eyes, and I don’t want to have this conversation with him until I’m certain. It could still be bad chicken salad.
Oh, God, please let it be bad chicken salad.
“I don’t want to get in your face in case it’s a virus.”
“Dang.” He rolls onto his back with a deep exhale that I feel all the way to my toes. “We had a great game tonight. Another win…”
“That’s so good.” I reach behind me to give his rock-hard forearm a squeeze.
Nothing would be better than to give myself to him, pretend my mind isn’t paralyzed by dread. It’s not going to happen tonight.
He rolls toward me again, pressing his lips to the back of my shoulder. “Want me to go?”
“Not really, but I think you’d better. To be safe.”
His lips press against my arm, and my eyes squeeze shut as he hesitates. “Okay, but if you need anything, send me a text. I’ll sleep with my phone in my hand.”
“I expect I’ll sleep all night. Don’t worry.”
“That’s kind of not possible, Princess.” His voice is so gentle, it aches.
One more kiss to the top of my shoulder and he quietly slips out, leaving me to toss and turn all night.