Chapter 33
Haddy
My dad is right.
The first place they take him is to the trauma center at the stadium. He’s evaluated, and the trainers decide to send him on to Cedars.
As soon as they say the name of the hospital, I try to fall again. This time, my dad has me.
“It’s a good thing, baby. They’ll take care of him there. Don’t panic.”
I’m trying. I nod, but my hands are shaking. I’ve never seen so much blood, and Gavin still hasn’t regained consciousness. They bound his head, but the wound had already started to swell into an ugly mound on his forehead.
It’s a horrible, scary injury, and I can’t get the sight of it or the possibility of what it means out of my head.
We fly across town to the hospital. He’s taken ahead of us in the ambulance, and when we’re finally all together, we have to wait in the hall as they set him up in the private room.
Mom is with me, rubbing my back, and Gigi finally appears with Mav close behind her.
“I had to go home and take care of the dogs.” She runs to me, hugging me. “How are you doing, honey?”
Fresh tears heat my eyes at her voice. “All I can think about is how much I need him to be okay. He’s such a good man.
He’s done so much for the baby and me. He was always so prepared, and I guess I leaned on him more than I realized.
” I’m nervous-talking, I know, but I can’t seem to stop. “What am I going to do if he doesn’t—”
“Stop that, now.” Mav puts an arm around my shoulders, pulling me and Gigi close. “He’s going to bounce back from this. Gav’s a hockey player. We know how to take hits.”
“That was a very bad hit, Mav.” My voice is thick, and I’m doing my best not to fall apart.
Gavin’s dad is talking to the doctors, and his moms are close by as well, listening with wide eyes. Kenny is stoic, unflinching in the face of whatever the doctors say, but Elaine has tears streaming down her cheeks.
My stomach drops, and I can’t let my mind go down the rabbit hole of what they might be saying.
“Hold on, baby.” Dad seems to know, and he walks over to take my hand. “Everyone reacts to news differently. I’ll see if I can find out what they’re saying.”
“Come on.” Mom holds my arm, and Gigi takes the other.
The three of us walk to where a line of chairs is placed against the wall. Mav goes with my dad to talk to Patrick.
“I have to know what’s happening,” I whisper. “I can’t take this not knowing. It hurts.”
My whole body aches with every inhale, and I only want to hold his hand, crawl up beside him, kiss his cheek, kiss his warm lips.
More minutes pass, and my dad finally returns to where we’re waiting.
“It’s not bad news.” He starts, and my stomach bottoms out.
A breath hiccups in my throat and fresh tears emerge.
“Hey, hang on,” He takes my hands. “Not bad news means good news. He’s stable, but he’s still unconscious, which is a little cause for concern.
They can’t fully evaluate the extent of the damage until he wakes up.
He has a significant contusion, his front left tooth is broken, and as of now, they’re treating him for a concussion. ”
Concussion. The word sends chills through my body, and all the potential side effects flood my mind. Traumatic brain injury. CTE.
I don’t want to think about these things. I don’t want to be tormented by knowledge.
“Oh, God.” I lean forward, putting my head in my hands.
“Haddy?” I recognize that soft voice.
Looking up I see Kenny standing in front of me, holding out her hand. “I think it would be good if you come in to sit with him. I think he’ll feel your presence there.”
“Yes! Thank you.” I push out of the chair, following her into the small room.
When we enter, my chest aches. Gavin is always so full of life, so animated. I hadn’t realized until now that when we’re together, he fills all the space around me. I want that.
Instead, he lies silently in the bed. His eyes are closed, and a bandage is around his head.
I take the seat at his side, placing my hand under his large one.
“Here.” Kenny hands me a tissue, and I realize I’m crying.
“Thank you.” I blot my cheeks.
“I’ll leave you here with him so you can talk. I think hearing your voice might help him find his way back to us.”
My eyes go to his thumb where the faint red line is inked, and I imagine the string stretching, tangling, but never breaking. I try to remember the exact words of the legend.
The door closes softly behind me, and I clear my throat. “Hey, Gavin… It’s me, Haddy.” I speak quietly, carefully. “I love your family. They’re the best, and they get along so well with the Bradfords. You should see them all together.”
Soft beeps and blinking monitors are my only response. My chest sinks. Looking around the room, I think of what to say next.
“I was so excited to meet your mom Kenny, but we didn’t get to talk much. Maybe when you wake up, we can talk more.”
More beeping. More thinking of upbeat topics.
Studying his unresponsive, handsome face hurts. I run my eyes over his swollen lips, the bandage around his head. His dark hair peeking out, the scruff on his square jaw. The baby kicks as if demanding her time.
“Lucy’s been moving so much. I think she misses your voice.” I touch the tissue to my cheeks. “I nearly peed my pants at the arena. Dad took care of me, and I was able to find a place to go in the locker room.”
I lean both my elbows on the side of the bed, resting my head on my hands.
“I’ve been thinking she’ll probably be an athlete like you. Mom doesn’t remember if I moved a lot in utero. She was sick the whole time.” I wait a beat, thinking. “Do you remember if you were an active baby?”
Again, the only reply is the quietly beeping monitors.
“Oh, Gavin,” I whisper, tracing my fingers along his forearm. “I need you to talk to me. I need you to smile at me and call me princess. I love you so much. I’m just a regular girl without you.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I put my head on the mattress.
It’s all true. He changed everything just by being himself, being so determined, being so good. If he doesn’t come back to me…
Another day passes.
The nurses bring in a cot for me to sleep on, and Kenny takes the recliner. Elaine comes and goes, and Patrick is always either in the hallway or in the room with us.
“How long do they expect this to last?” Elaine paces the room, chewing on the side of her finger. “I can’t remember him ever being so quiet and still like this. It’s making me crazy.”
“The doctor said it could be a few days while his brain heals.” Patrick puts his hands on her shoulders, rubbing gently. “We have to be patient.”
Gavin is so much like his dad, it aches in my chest.
I agree with Elaine. This is all so wrong.
“Hi, everybody.” My mom’s soft voice joins us in the room. She’s carrying a bag with the word Holbox printed on the outside, and the scent of tacos makes my stomach growl. “I thought y’all might be hungry, and I wanted to check on my baby.”
“Oh my gosh, Mom,” I groan, holding out my hands. “I’m starving.”
“That smells delicious,” Kenny agrees, stepping forward. “Raven, you’re a hero.”
We all share an exhausted laugh. The food is distributed, and Mom walks over to rub my back.
I unwrap the soft taco and take a bite. “Mmm… so delicious. Thank you.”
“How’s everybody holding up?” Dad’s warm voice joins the room.
Patrick steps over to shake his hand. “Hendrix, good to see you, man.”
My eyes go to Gavin’s, and I wonder if he can hear this, if it’s getting through.
Please wake up…
“I’m worried about you, honey.” Mom smooths my hair behind my ear. “Don’t you have to get back to class?”
“It’s my spring break, too.” I finish the last bite of taco.
Which reminds me, I’ve got to figure out that whole situation.
I must be frowning, because Mom studies me with worried eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…” It’s such a lie. I don’t have the money to pay them back, and I don’t know where I’ll get it.
“Gavin told us about the scholarship.” Her tone is gentle, but I can sense her protective anger. “He didn’t want to upset us. He wanted to pay IPW back himself, so I showed him how. It was probably better that way, or I’d have given them a piece of my mind.”
“He did…” I sit down on the sofa as my throat tightens, as fresh tears coat my cheeks. “Why would he do that?”
Mom sits beside me, sliding my hair off my shoulder. “Because he loves you, Hayden. Your dad stepped up when I was at risk of losing everything. It’s what they do.”
“But I never asked him to do that.”
Dad walks over, concern lining his face. “What’s wrong?”
“She didn’t know about the tuition. I guess Gavin was waiting to surprise her.”
Dad sits on my other side, putting an arm around me. “It’s as much his responsibility as yours.”
“Not really.” I shake my head. “It’s my degree. I can’t let him do that.”
“Yes, you can.” Dad turns, making me look at him. “It’s his way of showing you his love. He’s your family, Hayden. He wants to take care of you.”
“That’s just it…” My voice breaks, and I press the paper napkin to my face. “He always takes care of me. He takes care of everything. I should take care of my things.”
Dad nods toward the bed. “What if he needs you to take care of him now?”
Pain tightens my throat, and I can’t think of that possibility.
“I will.” I answer firmly. “I’ll always take care of him.”
My dad’s smile warms his eyes. “Don’t you see, baby? That’s what a family is. You take care of each other.”
Looking down at my hands in my lap, I think about his words. I look up at Gavin’s three parents. I look at my dear knight still not moving on the bed. Family.
“You can start by taking care of the baby.” Mom collects the papers, throwing it all away, and stooping to hold out a hand to me. “You need to go home and rest, take a shower…”
Shaking my head, I cut her off. “I can’t leave. What if he woke up, and I wasn’t here? He wouldn’t know… I need him to know I’ll never leave his side.”
“You haven’t told me if you have a lucky charm or a game-day ritual.” I trace my fingers along the back of Gavin’s hand.
It’s Day 3 of his coma, and his room is filling with flowers. Fans send little gifts. The coaches and trainers have come to check on him. It all feels very ominous and scary, like they’re hedging their bets just in case.
Mav was with us for a while, doing his best to keep my spirits up, telling me how tough they all are. Telling me about the time he played through a broken foot.
I can’t shut off my scientific mind. A fractured foot is a long way from a head injury.
Now it’s just the two of us again—or the three, including Lucy. The sun is setting, and my eyes are heavy. Still, I hold out hope he’s going to blink those pretty blue eyes open and smile that killer smile at me any minute now…
“You probably know Mav drinks a Welch’s strawberry soda the morning of every game, then he eats five red M&Ms.” I trace my fingers against his skin.
“Gigi said it started in high school when he scored his first hat trick. He’d tried a Welch’s strawberry soda for the first time, but he’d also eaten all the red M&Ms out of Kim’s bag.
I think he’s not sure which was the lucky thing, so he does them both. ”
Studying Gavin’s handsome face, I inhale a shaky breath. I’m not giving up on him. I’m not giving up on us. No matter what comes next, I’m in it for the long haul.
“Maybe your lucky charm could be an axolotl? They’re really cute, and they’re all about transformation and healing.” My eyes are so tired, and I lean my head on the bed beside his hand. “Or maybe something from Star Wars? Something hockey?”
The constant beeping never ends. It’s become white noise lulling me to sleep.
Lucy kicks, but I can’t keep my eyes open another minute.