Chapter Five
Harley
It’s been a horrible week, although not in the same way as last week. That was mostly about work. This has been about me. And what makes it worse is that it’s only Thursday, so it’s not over yet.
As if it wasn’t bad enough seeing Pierce with Monica on Saturday evening, I had to go and accept Kaiden’s invitation to have drinks with him on Monday. I know I’d resolved to stop pining for Pierce and start living my life, but did I really have to say ‘yes’ to the first man who asked?
It seems so.
In which case, why did that man have to be Kaiden?
Anyone else would have been better than him. Because saying ‘yes’ to him was a dumb move.
I realized that the moment he called for me at my office. He wasn’t supposed to do that. We’d arranged to meet at MD’s, but there he was, right outside the door, waiting to pounce. That was how it felt, anyway, and I practically jumped out of my skin when he stepped forward.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“What does it look like?”
“I don’t know. We agreed to meet at the bar, so…”
“I thought I’d wait for you here instead.”
That struck me as intrusive. How did he know I didn’t have something else to do before meeting up with him? I didn’t like him making assumptions about me. But before I could say anything, he’d taken my hand in his.
My heart was racing, but not with excitement. This was a mixture of irritation and uncertainty.
It was a normal reaction, caused by the fact that I wasn’t expecting him to be there. That was what I told myself as my heartbeat struggled to return to normal. Which it did… until he kissed me. I hadn’t been expecting that, either.
We’d just crossed the street, and had stepped up on the sidewalk by the bookstore, when I felt his hand on the back of my neck. There was something a little rough about his touch, and the next thing I knew, we’d stopped walking and he’d turned to face me, his head bent closer. I knew what was coming as his lips touched mine, but what I hadn’t prepared for was the forcefulness of his kiss. His tongue delved into my mouth, the way made easy by my gasp, and he explored me thoroughly, tipping his head one way and then the other, while his other hand roamed down my side, and then around my waist, pulling me close. It was a horrible sensation. I felt trapped, and although I pushed against him, he ignored me, only ending the kiss when he was ready.
“I didn’t… I mean, that wasn’t…” I stammered, and he smiled down at me.
“I know,” he said. “That wasn’t what you’re used to, was it?”
The arrogance of the man. “No. I meant it was…”
“Don’t sweat it, babe,” he said, keeping his arm around my waist as he led me toward MD’s. “I’m not like the guys you usually date.”
I didn’t know how to tell him I didn’t date other guys. I didn’t want to reveal that much of myself to him, so I walked in silence, hoping he wouldn’t try to kiss me again.
“I can’t stay for very long,” I said as we sat at a table.
“Oh?” It was as though he felt I owed him an explanation, but I didn’t, and I nodded my head, giving him the only answer he deserved. A silent one. “Okay,” he replied eventually. “We’ll just have a drink and then I’ll take you home.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “You don’t need to. I’ve got my car here… at the doctor’s office.”
“Oh, yeah.”
He sounded disappointed, but that wasn’t my problem, although I couldn’t think up an excuse when he offered to walk me back to my car, which was unfortunate. Even so, I didn’t delay in finishing my drink, doing my best not to look impatient while he drank his, telling me about his job.
“Why weren’t you there today?” I asked when he finally stopped talking long enough for me to say something.
He frowned and then nodded his head. “I had a couple of meetings this morning,” he murmured. “And I’m taking some time off. I’ve been working really hard the last few weeks, and Dad said I should take a break.”
“I see.”
He didn’t seem too happy, and quickly finished his drink before repeating his offer to walk me back to my car.
“There’s no need,” I said, pushing my chair under the table.
“I insist.”
It seemed there was no way out of it, and he took my hand again, leading me from the bar and back onto Main Street. Part of me wondered if I was being unreasonable. After all, his clumsy kiss could have been a sign of nerves, and he was being a gentleman… at least until we got back to my car and he pinned me against the door, keeping me there with his body while he kissed me, his hands wandering up and down my sides. As he covered my breast with one, I twisted my head away, breaking the kiss.
“Stop, Kaiden. I don’t want to.”
He stepped back. “Okay,” he said, pausing for a second or two before he smiled down at me. “I’ll wait.”
I wanted to tell him not to bother, but I couldn’t find my voice, and it seemed more important to get away from him, so I unlocked the car, getting inside and starting the engine. He waved me goodbye, and I drove home, feeling like I’d had a lucky escape.
All of which makes no sense of why I blew up at Pierce, when I found him waiting for me outside work on Tuesday morning. He’d seen me with Kaiden, crossing the street, he said, and I knew that meant he must have seen us kissing… or rather Kaiden kissing me, because I didn’t feel as though I’d had any control over what had happened.
Pierce didn’t mention the kiss, though. What he said was that, as it was my first date with Kaiden, he hoped he wasn’t too late to warn me off.
For some reason, I saw red then. He was telling me about Kaiden’s reputation with women, when he’s no better himself, and that got to me. Naturally, he tried to defend himself, but that just made me even more mad. I could still see him sitting in that restaurant with Monica, and even if she really was ‘the one’ for him, I’d lost count of how many other women he’d dated and walked away from, like they were playthings to be picked up and discarded. Just because he’d always chosen to share his personal life with me didn’t give him the right to dictate what I do in mine.
That was what I thought, and I think I made my feelings pretty clear, although I wish I’d found a better way of doing so… one that didn’t involve losing it with him.
That’s not because I think he has the right to tell me what to do. It’s because I miss him. He’s always been there, for as long as I can remember. And even if I’ve never shared anything personal with him before, it would be good to talk to him now. Okay, so it would mean admitting I was wrong, but I could use his advice. He might know how to get Kaiden to understand I don’t want to see him anymore… because Kaiden isn’t taking the hint.
I thought he was to start with. I didn’t hear from him on Tuesday, and even though he’d said he’d wait, I wondered if he’d been offended that I’d rejected him. Had he gone home and decided I wasn’t worth it? In a way, I hoped so. It would have made things easier.
Except he wasn’t… offended, that is. He was just lulling me into a false sense of security, because he accosted me on my arrival at the office yesterday morning, and in my panic, I agreed to see him for drinks again after work. I could have kicked myself, but I didn’t have his number, and had no way of canceling. I wondered what might happen if I didn’t show up. Would he come and find me? He didn’t have my home address, but he knew where I worked and could make a scene. I didn’t relish that prospect, and decided I’d go, and make my excuses when I got there.
I’d even planned what to say, although I didn’t get the chance, because he was waiting for me outside the office again, and grabbed my hand the moment I stepped through the door.
“Kaiden… I can’t…”
“It’s a lovely evening, isn’t it?” he said, pulling me into his arms and kissing me. I didn’t have any say in the matter, but at least he kept his hands to himself, and when he pulled back, he took my hand in his, talking over me as he led me across the street.
“I need to…” I said, but he soon interrupted.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“It was okay, but we should really—”
“Aren’t you gonna ask what I’ve been doing?”
“Well, I know you haven’t been working.”
“No. I’ve spent most of my day in the pool.”
“You have a pool?” I was surprised, forgetting my rehearsed speech as I turned to look at him.
“Yeah. Mom had it put in a couple of years ago.”
I remembered hearing he lived with his mom, although I wasn’t sure where, and I just nodded my head, waiting as he opened the door to the bar, and walking in ahead of him.
I hadn’t intended for us to get this far, hoping to have made my excuses before now, but he’d already ordered our drinks and found us a booth before I got the chance to say a word.
Sitting opposite him, with a much wider table between us than on Monday evening, I didn’t feel so uncomfortable, and I listened as he told me about his parents’ divorce. Not living in the town, or taking very much interest in what goes on here until I started working at the doctor’s office, I hadn’t realized he wasn’t a native of Hart’s Creek, and asked when he moved here. That was unfortunate, because it suggested an interest I didn’t feel.
“It was about fourteen years ago,” he said. “I thought about staying with my dad, but they decided it would be better if I came here with Mom, and she did okay out of the divorce, so it wasn’t all bad.”
I marveled at his attitude and shook my head, jumping when he reached across the table and took my hand.
“Hey…” he said. “Don’t look so sad. I’m okay.”
There was no doubt in my mind about that. Kaiden was someone who took care of himself… regardless of others.
“I’m sure you are,” I said, getting to my feet.
“Where are you going?”
“The ladies’ room.”
I needed a break, and made my way to the back of the bar, into the restrooms, where I took my time, trying to think through how I could break the news to him that I didn’t want to see him anymore. He didn’t seem to be very good at listening, but I had to get him to understand… somehow.
As I made my way back to our table, I was so busy thinking, trying to work out what to say, that I walked straight into Dawson Pine, the owner of the bar, and I stepped around him, apologizing.
“It’s okay,” he said, smiling at me, and turning slightly, so he blocked my way as he handed me a slip of paper. I half expected it to be a note from Kaiden to say he’d had to leave, and I wasn’t at all surprised by how happy that thought made me feel, except as I looked up at Dawson, I noticed a serious, worried expression on his face. “Read it,” he whispered.
I opened the folded piece of paper and glanced down at the words, ‘If you need help, nod your head’ before looking back up at him again. There was nothing but concern in his eyes now, and although it would have been easy to nod, I still felt like I could handle the situation, and I felt sure that if Dawson stepped in, Kaiden would cause trouble. That was the last thing I needed… especially somewhere like that, with so many people around, so I shook my head instead.
“I’m fine,” I said, keeping my voice quiet, although there was enough noise in the bar to drown out all but the loudest of shouts.
“Sure?” he said, and I nodded again.
He stepped aside, and I sauntered back to the booth, wondering how on earth I’d given away my discomfort. I must have done somehow, but I couldn’t think what had betrayed me.
“Are you okay?” Kaiden said.
“Sure.”
I couldn’t be certain if he’d seen me talking to Dawson, although he was facing the other way, so it seemed unlikely, and I finished my drink, getting ready to make my speech, just as he reached across and took my hand in his again.
“Do you wanna come back to my place for dinner?” he asked.
“Um… no, thanks. I—”
“You’re busy?” he said, finishing my sentence for me. “Okay. How about tomorrow? We could do something then, couldn’t we?”
“I’m not sure. I—”
“Why don’t we start our evening with drinks again, and then head out somewhere else? I can pick you up from your place, if you like?”
I didn’t like the sound of that.
“No. I’ll meet you.”
He shook his head as I realized I’d stupidly agreed to another date. What was wrong with me?
“I won’t hear of it,” he said. “I’ll drive. Give me your address, and I’ll call for you at… seven?”
“Honestly, Kaiden… I…”
“Stop stalling and give me your address,” he said. “I know you live in Willmont Vale, so I just need to know where.”
He gripped my hand a little harder, and I said the address, feeling trapped. Again. I’d intended to end it with him, and all I’d done was make plans for another date I didn’t want.
I knew my own inexperience was to blame for at least some of my inability to just say the words, but I honestly couldn’t believe how hard he was making it.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come back to my place?” he said, tilting his head to one side.
“I can’t.”
He shrugged his shoulders, offering a second drink, which I declined, telling him I had to get home.
Once again, he walked me back to my car, and I dreaded our arrival there, fearing he’d try to kiss me again. Fortunately, as we got to the other side of the street, right outside the ice cream parlor, his phone rang. He pulled it out and answered it, without a word to me, and through a series of hand gestures, I let it be known I had to go. He mouthed ‘see you tomorrow’, and I nodded, feeling pathetic that I couldn’t find a way to say ‘no’, instead of ‘yes’.
I didn’t sleep very well last night, dwelling on my date with Kaiden, Dawson’s note, and what might happen tonight. None of it was sitting well with me, and at around six-thirty this morning, as I climbed out of bed, I even contemplated calling Pierce.
I didn’t, because I was still mad at him, and I didn’t want to hear him crow over me, so instead, I took a shower and got ready to come to work.
Since then, I’ve been wondering how I can get out of my date. I don’t have Kaiden’s number, and I wish now that I’d found an excuse to take it… just so I could call and cancel. Or maybe text and cancel. That would be easier.
As it is, I can’t see any way out of letting him come to the house tonight… and then telling him I don’t want to see him. Although getting him to stop talking long enough for me to actually get the words out will be an achievement in itself.
“Is everything okay?” I startle and look up at Doctor Dodds. He’s standing on the other side of my desk, although I don’t know how he got there without me noticing.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure? You don’t seem your usual self.”
“I’m just tired,” I say. It’s true. I’m exhausted… and scared… and worried about tonight.
He nods his head, giving me a knowing smile, and I imagine he thinks it’s that time of the month. It’s not, but I won’t disillusion him with the truth. It’s bad enough trying to work things out by myself, without involving my boss.
Normally, if I was getting ready to go out, even if it was just with Pierce, I’d shower, fix my hair and makeup, and choose what to wear. Tonight, though, I just find a pair of jeans and a thin sweater, which between them cover almost every inch of my body. I don’t care what I look like. I just want to get this over with, and once I’ve changed, and pulled on a pair of sneakers, I head down the stairs, just as the doorbell rings.
He’s here already?
Damn…
I open the door, and Kaiden steps inside, uninvited, glancing around the lobby.
“Very nice,” he says, like a realtor, sizing the place up for a potential buyer. “Are you ready?” He looks me up and down, but doesn’t comment on my appearance, and reaches out, cupping my face with one hand, somehow pulling me closer and dipping his head to kiss me. His other hand wanders slightly, but not for long, and he pulls away, taking my hand.
“Kaiden… I…”
“I thought we could head back to Hart’s Creek,” he says, ignoring me, and barely giving me time to grab my purse before he drags me out the door.
I pull it closed and look up at him. “Why Hart’s Creek? There are plenty of places to go for drinks in Willmont Vale.”
“I know, but I kinda like MD’s.”
I open my mouth to ask why. I mean, it’s a nice enough place, but we’ve been there twice already. Before I can say a word, though, he’s pulled me over to his car, opening the door, and easing me onto the passenger seat. I’m feeling more than a little manipulated, and I sit still, fuming, as he walks around and gets in beside me.
“Can you…?”
“I’ll put some music on while we drive, shall I?” he says.
“I thought we could talk.”
He leans over, getting too close for comfort. “We’ve got all evening to talk.” I pull back as far as the seat will allow, my body stiffening, as he starts the engine and eases the car down the driveway and onto the street.
The music is too loud for talking, but fortunately the drive back to Hart’s Creek doesn’t take very long, and he parks out back, holding my hand as we walk around, while he tells me about his day.
“My mom insisted I do the grocery shopping for her,” he says, rolling his eyes. “So I could use a drink.”
I wonder why grocery shopping is so bad. It’s not the worst chore I can think of, and I step through the door into MD’s, relieved to be among other people. Just like last night, he orders our drinks and finds us a booth, sitting opposite me, as he gives me a smile.
“I was going to book us a table at that French restaurant,” he says, leaning a little closer. “But my mom’s gone out for the evening with her new boyfriend, so I thought we could go back to my place. I even picked up something to eat while I was doing the grocery shopping… so we’re all set.”
I realize now why he brought me back here, rather than staying in Willmont Vale, and I’m suddenly filled with fear. I have no way of getting home. He’s seen to that by driving me here, and he’s not taking no for an answer. In fact, he’s not even giving me the chance to say ‘no’ in the first place, and I glance around the bar, wondering how I’m gonna get out of this…