Chapter 17 #2
My friends have been so invested in a happy ending, but I’m terrified I have no way to guarantee that for them. I don’t know the first thing about real romance and I’m not sure I have the star power for this leading role.
“Ah. Experience. Capital E ,” Johnna says, nodding. “I can understand why it might be nerve-racking.”
I grimace. Cash reaches over and squeezes my hand now.
“You know, people don’t realize sometimes that the smallest gestures are often the most lovely forms of romance.
Some of my favorite moments with my partner are the things I almost don’t notice sometimes.
She remembers to set out my coffee mug when we’re getting ready for a travel gig.
Or notices when I’m almost out of toothpaste and replaces it.
Not all romance has to be the grand gesture kind,” she says.
“Sometimes, just seeing someone is the most romantic thing of all.”
That surprises me. I’m not sure I would have ever considered those acts romantic .
They seem like things I would do if I wanted to give a great gift, or just, I don’t know, support someone in my life.
In that case, maybe today is my greatest experience of romance—my friends all coming together to help me find Eve, lifting me up in big and small ways.
“You strike me as a dreamer, doll,” she says, looking at my camera.
“I suspect you already have some idea of exactly how this first kiss will happen—all scripted in your head. I know I did when I was in your shoes. I used to dress up and role-play the whole thing in the mirror! But I should tell you, it almost never happens as you imagine.”
“Oh,” I say, because I thought we were headed for more of a pep talk, and that doesn’t feel encouraging.
“I just mean it puts pressure on what is already so fragile—that new and electric connection between two people.” She shivers when she says the word electric .
“My advice? Let yourself be surprised. Be open to possibility. Because the other thing I’ve learned is that even though it almost never happens how you dreamed it up, it’s almost always so much better. ”
Johnna winks, and now I smile.
“We’re optimistic,” Cash says, looping his arm through mine.
“I can see that. And that is your greatest asset. If you are strong enough not to let hard things get you down, if you can be resilient and stay sunny even when the world goes dark, you’ll always be ready for the next great opportunity.
The most beautiful thing in life is the ability to hold on to your belief in other people, to keep the faith in the promise of goodness even when you face challenges. ”
“That’s definitely Bennie,” Diya says.
“I had a hunch.” Johnna’s eyes twinkle when she looks at me. “And isn’t that at the heart of Christmas too?”
That feels really good, especially since my optimism has slipped so much lately. Thankfully, I have that speech on camera, so I can come back to it whenever I need a reminder now.
“But either way, you’ll have a heck of a story to tell, Bennie Bosley. That’s the great thing about all the scary ‘experience’ stuff. Sometimes the journey there is just as exciting, if not more!”
“Amen,” Gus adds.
“Oh, it’s so good to see young people following their hearts! I was starting to think that romance was dead,” Johnna continues. “I guess I’m just a sucker for love, especially this time of year. Probably watched too many romantic Christmas movies.”
“It feels like we’re living one right now,” I say, looking through the lens of the camera at the group around me.
“Well, when you’re not in the midst of your grand adventure, I run a queer space in Bushwick—y’all should come by sometime when you’re in the city again. We do game nights, author events, open mics. Stuff like that. All ages. Come one, come all.”
“Wow, really?” I ask.
“Indeed! But for now, we’re almost to your destination,” Johnna says, then she looks at me directly.
“Now, Bennie, I have total faith that you’ll get the girl and have that kiss, but listen, if it doesn’t happen right now, just remember, it will come.
And in the meantime, you seem to have some pretty good friends. ”
“She’s not so bad herself,” Izaac nudges me.
I grin at my friends and am about to say thank you, when we hit a massive bump and Cash loses his grip on the boots he’s been carrying around.
“I’m sorry, are you clutching a pair of Lucchese boots in a plastic bag?” Johnna asks Cash as he reaches down to collect his precious footwear.
“I made the mistake of trying to break these in on a city day,” he responds.
“Oh, darling, you are a boy after my own heart. I never gave much thought to the practicalities of a good look either. Until it was my job, of course.”
“Your job?” I ask. “In… polka?”
“My day job,” Johnna replies with a friendly laugh. “Being a polka superstar is only one part of my life, you see. My full-time profession is more on the fashion side of things—I’m a costume designer.”
“No way,” Cash says. He looks at the photo behind Johnna’s head, the one that got his attention when we first climbed on board.
Johnna nods and smiles. “I do a lot of work with community theaters for free, but the ones that pay the bills are all Broadway.”
Izaac looks at Cash, whose jaw is on the floor.
“That is… That is my…”
“That’s Cash’s dream,” Diya finishes for him, beaming.
“Well, it seems like we have a lot in common, Mister Polar Quasar,” Johnna says. She pulls up the hem of her gown and flashes the exact same pair of boots. “Mine were broken in years ago, though.”
“I just… I want… I love, I have…,” Cash sputters, and Johnna puts a giant hand over Cash’s to calm him down. “… so many questions.”
“Come down to Bushwick for a coffee and we’ll talk all about your hopes and your dreams.” Johnna hands him a business card.
Cash stares at the piece of cardstock like it has the power to alter the course of his whole life. It may not be “romantic,” but the way Johnna sees Cash and is reaching out to let him know—maybe this is what she meant earlier. My own heart grows three sizes.
“Well, with the roadblocks for the snow and the one-way streets, this is as close as we can get you. The bakery is about three blocks from here, straight down,” Gus points and explains as we pull up to the curb.
“Godspeed, new romantics,” Johnna says. “Cash, I’ll be awaiting your call.”
Cash nods so hard, I worry his head is going to roll off, and we all thank Johnna and Gus profusely.
“Audra, I’ll see you soon.”
“Johnna, you’re truly a queen.”
“I’m aware,” she says with a grin.
I don’t want to say goodbye to these incredible humans, but they have to get on to their gig. As soon as we hit the sidewalk, I start spinning up a vision of a new tradition—a group trip to a Kickers show—when Johnna calls out to me.
“And, Bennie, I can’t wait to hear the next chapter of your story!” she says, looking at me with those kind, dramatic eyes. “But don’t forget, no matter how it shakes out, it is not even close to the end.”