Chapter 24
brODY
“I want you to fuck me.”
Everything stops, like a full-on cartoon worthy, vintage record scratching stop. I stare at Lincoln Beckett biting his lip and looking at me so earnestly, I don’t know how to react. I’m not sure I heard him correctly.
“What did you say?”
“I want you to fuck me…” he says, voice trailing off as if he’s unsure of what he said and might want to take it back. But then he lifts his chin and pulls his shoulders back. “You heard me, Brody. And I mean it.”
“You want me to—”
“—Fuck me, yes. Do I need to repeat myself again or try another language? I speak some French, but I’m not sure this is in my conversational wheelhouse.”
I let out a chuckle, but it’s a bit humorless considering I’m still struggling to figure out if this is real.
“Brody,” he snaps, raising his arms and getting me out of my head. I blink up at him, trying to clear some cobwebs or something from my mind. “Are you hearing me?”
“Yeah. You want me to fuck you.”
“Yes,” he says, dropping his arms as if the journey was exhausting.
“What I’m confused about is how we got here.”
Beck puts his hands on his hips and stares at me like I’m the biggest idiot he’s ever met.
“Don’t look at me like that. I need to know that you’re in your right mind and know what you’re asking for.”
“We’re here because you looked at me like that in the courtyard.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m something special or some shit.
Not because of my academic or athletic achievements, or because you want something from me.
Not because I have something to prove. It’s because you looked at me like that, then kissed me like you just did, and it was hot and I fucking want to. Are you saying you don’t want to?”
“To fuck you…”
“Yes! Brody, what the fuck?!” Normally his exasperation would amuse or even arouse me, but I’m genuinely blown away.
Beck has begged me for a lot of things. He’s begged me for more, more fingers, more tongue, more intensity.
But he’s never come out and fully acknowledged that we were doing anything or building up to anything more than the games we’ve played.
In fact, he’s purposefully put us back in that place over and over again.
Every time we take a step forward and I think he’s accepting this thing between us, he drags me, kicking and screaming, as he takes two steps back.
And I just keep shuffling along with him, because as much as I like to play the big strong dominant, I think we both know who’s in charge here.
I step forward and take his mouth again, deeper and slower than before. He lets me control the pace, slowly guiding us to my bedroom. Once we’re shut inside, Beck starts working to open the front of my pants, but I bring his arms back around me instead.
I just want to kiss him like this for a little while longer. Balancing on the edge of something that feels monumental. Something that will change everything.
What if we do this and he changes his mind? What if he gets scared and runs away for real this time? What if he hates me after?
But at the same time, what if this is Lincoln Beckett truly coming around? What if this is him accepting me? Accepting us.
“Beck, we need to slow down, okay? I’m not saying no, but I want to talk first.”
His voice is smooth and calm and flirtatious.
Nothing like I’ve ever heard it before. “What is there to talk about?” he says against my lips, then trails kisses down my neck and throat.
He nips at my Adam’s apple, and I shiver.
“I’m okay, Brody. And I’m serious. I want this. I’ve thought about it. And I…”
He trails off and presses his forehead to mine. A deep sigh brushes against my mouth. “I just want to feel something good. Something that’s mine and doesn’t come with so much pressure attached, you know?”
I do know, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t… “I mean, there’s going to be a lot of pressure.”
Beck laughs exasperatedly. “You’re an ass, you know that.”
“You like it.”
“Nope. Not even a little. In fact, I’ve changed my mind. I have somewhere I suddenly need to be.”
He tries to walk away from me, but I grab him by the arm and fling him back.
He falls back against the mattress, and I straddle him, so I’ve got him pinned down beneath me.
We’re laughing, but I’m looking down into his eyes, deep brown drowning into pools of black.
There’s only one other time he’s looked back at me like this.
“Promise you haven’t been hitting the cold medicine?”
Beck laughs again and shakes his head. “No meds, but I might have caught some kind of bug from you this time.”
My stomach flips and my heart beats outside my chest, because that sounded like a declaration of some sort.
“A stupidity bug. So maybe take advantage before I change my mind.”
I kiss my way down his neck, fingertips tickling the bottom hem of his shirt.
“I’d rather you change your mind than have any regrets,” I tell him honestly. “So you have to promise to be a good girl and be honest with me. If at any point you want to stop, we stop. Okay?”
“Okay,” he agrees softly. “I know my safe word, Captain.”
“No.”
“What?”
“No safe word, baby. You don’t need it. We aren’t pretending. It’s you and me, for real this time.”
“For real?”
“That’s right, baby,” I murmur against his lips, pushing his shirt up his chest, his abs flexing as he sits up. I’m straddling his lap, so I can pull his shirt over his head. He removes mine as well, and we press ourselves together, skin to skin, as we work each other’s pants and underwear off.
There’s a bottle of lube and condoms in a storage basket under my bed. I reach down for it and bring them to rest next to Beck’s head. I’m not trying to freak him out, but I want him to have every chance to realize what we’re doing here. That after this, there’s no going back.
He looks at them and grins. “Think there’s enough?”
“Maybe for round one,” I smirk. “But I’ll probably need to start buying them in bulk because I have a feeling I’m not going to be able to get enough of you.”
“Or you could, you know…”
My balls contract as if they’re being summoned to empty inside him at this very moment.
“It’s not like we aren’t both regularly tested, and I’m not doing this with anyone else.”
“I’m not either, but let's think about it some more, okay? I’m not lying to you when I say that the very moment you let me come inside you, I will become an entirely different kind of problem. One you won’t be able to get rid of without setting me on fire or staking me in the chest or something.”
I lean down and take his mouth hard, plastering my body to his. Our cocks slide against each other like long-lost lovers, and I almost lose myself in the feel of his bare skin against mine. “When I mark you from the inside, baby girl, you’re going to know you belong to me.”
“I already said I’m yours.”
“You’ll belong to me in all the ways. Not just your bratty little attitude and your mouth and ass. Down to your marrow, Becky.” I trail my mouth down his body, peppering the skin of his sternum, abs, and happy trail with kisses and pointed words. “You.”—kiss—"Will.”—kiss—"Be.”—lick—“Mine.”
Beck gasps when I take his cock to the back of my throat while I lift his legs, pushing his thighs to his chest. He holds them there without instruction, and I kiss and lick down his balls and past his taint.
I work him open with my tongue and one finger, then two.
The most he’s ever taken from me is three, but I want to stretch him around four before I let him take my cock.
Not because my cock is the width of my fist by any means, but because I don’t want to hurt him.
I want every part of this to feel so good, he couldn’t possibly have any regrets other than not giving himself to me sooner.
I want him writhing and begging for my cock. Only once I’ve worked him up to the point of no return, where he couldn’t care less who he is or who I am or what we’re supposed to be other than this, do I finally sheathe myself in latex and give my cock a few strokes with my lubed hand.
Hovering above him, I hook an arm under one of his legs and let the other wrap around my waist. I look down between us just long enough to line myself up, then focus on his face.
“Ready for me, baby?”
“I’m ready,” he pants, eyes blacked out with lust. “So ready.”
When I press into him, there’s no resistance. It’s not until I’m maybe halfway in that he struggles at all.
“Fuck, baby girl, you’re taking me even better than I thought you would. Look at all that cock inside you already, Becky. Look at your ass stretched around my dick.”
Beck pushes up to his elbows and looks down, hissing when I push his hard cock against his stomach so he can see past it. I know he can’t see anywhere near as much as I can, but he sees enough to clench around me.
“Fuck, that’s tight,” I groan, pulling out and pushing back in so slowly it almost hurts. I want so badly just to thrust into him, burying myself to the root. I have no doubt he can take it, but that’s not what I want for his first time. It has to be perfect.
“Breathe and bear down, baby girl. Unngh yes, like that. Oh, fuck, baby. Almost… there.”
By the time I’m fully sheathed inside him, we’re both panting. Me from the exertion of not pumping this load into him immediately, and him from taking me so damn perfectly. I’ve never been more thankful for all the times I’ve threatened to fist him.
If I thought Beck was going to be a sweet, tender bottom, I should have known better. Within seconds he’s pushing up off the mattress, trying to work himself on me.
“Move. Please move. Please move,” he chants as he writhes.