14. Reed
Istopped letting myself want things a long time ago.
In the house I was raised in, I knew better than to let my head run wild with any kind of fantasies.
I knew I was destined to live a life hiding who I truly was, and I have accepted that fact.
You have no other choice when you are being raised as a Lamont.
Now don’t get me wrong, I let myself yearn, have allowed some slips in my rigid world, where I have let myself pretend to be free and take a night to fulfill my desires, but it was always with one simple rule.
Don’t get attached.
There is no universe where I can be in a relationship, a situationship, have a fuck buddy, or anything in between.
I have Eloise and that is my reality. I should be thankful that I have her in my corner supporting me, that instead of being forced to marry a random socialite picked by my father, that she is in the same position I am.
Neither of us have a choice but to be one another’s lifeline.
So why the hell am I letting Wilder Miles kiss me?
If I thought being fucked by him slightly ruined me, then him kissing me rips me apart completely.
Now I’m not naive, just because I have accepted my fate doesn’t mean I am not experienced, I’ve had my fair share of one night stands and weekend escapades, all of which I would consider good lovers, and even better kissers.
Clearly I was wrong.
Wilder’s lips are rough and insistent, kissing me with an urgency I have never felt before, and yet somehow it still isn’t enough.
I want more, need more, and instead of pushing him away like I know I should, my hands scramble to pull him closer.
Desperately tugging him so his entire body is pressed even harder against my own, until I don’t know where I end and he begins.
He reacts instantly, groaning into my mouth, his hand tightening around my throat, as my own starts to explore his muscular back.
Of course every single plane of his body is perfect, tight and firm, and so damn tempting.
When I feel his tongue prod along the seam of my lips, I open instantly, letting him in until his tongue can curl with my own.
Another grunt leaves him, his fingers squeezing my neck as his other hand grips my hips, until our solid lengths are grinding against one another.
Heat burns through me everywhere, not an inch of space between our bodies, as we kiss and move as one.
A moan vibrates at the back of my throat and he swallows it whole, before pulling back to survey the whimpering mess he is making of me.
“Fuck, Prescott,” he hisses, my name sounding like a damn spell falling from his lips, and I am suddenly desperate to hear him call me Reed.
His green eyes are as dark as a moonlit forest, and filled with nothing but pure need, his hips still rocking in time with mine.
I can feel his desire for me, his thick, long length, practically pulsing against my own, and my mouth waters, desperate for another taste.
I recall every second of our tryst on the balcony, the rough scrape of his hands against me, the weight of his cock on my tongue, the taste of his precum at the back of my throat.
I thought it couldn’t get any better, that he couldn’t ruin me any further, but here we are.
I no longer care about our surroundings, the history of the castle, or the picturesque view; it can all burn, because my only focus is him.
“Wilder,” I plead, my body physically aching for him to kiss me again, but his hand only flexes around my neck in warning.
It should be a red flag, alarm bells ringing in my damn head, but right now my body is screaming for more, and whatever logic my brain is trying to convey is getting lost in the wild.
So instead of pushing him away again when I have the chance, I press myself against his hold, forcing him to choke me harder.
“More,” I beg, knowing that this could be the first and last time I ever feel his mouth against mine, and whatever restraint he was trying to hold on to, disappears completely.
His lips are back on mine, and the heat inside of me turns into an inferno.
He isn’t soft or hesitant, no, his kiss is forceful, harsh, downright brutal, and so damn addictive.
He kisses me like I am the answer to every question he’s ever had, and fuck if I don’t want to give him more.
There are no reservations in my mind, no worries about what I can and can’t let myself have, there is only him.
While his tongue rolls against mine, he uses his grip on my neck to tip my head back, deepening our kiss even more.
I’d let him fuck me right here and now if he wanted, consequences be damned, especially when he pulls another moan from deep within me.
Then he is fucking my mouth with his, pressing me harder against the stone wall and rocking his hips even faster.
My cock is painfully hard, and he groans when I try to take control, squeezing my neck in warning, but I don’t care, I just need more.
I’m so close, my orgasm barreling up my spine at lightning speed, and I can’t do anything to stop it. “Wilder,” I pant, his name a heated breath against a mouth that is still consuming me, and he groans again.
“Shut the fuck up,” he hisses, kissing me harder and meeting my hips thrust for thrust, until there is no going back. I’m going to come in my damn designer pants, just because his lips and body demanded it.
His fingers are so tight around my throat now that I know they are going to leave a mark, but when he pulls back and assesses me with his dark green stare, he looks nothing short of delighted.
His movements are still urgent, licking and sucking at my jaw and throat, until he is pulling the neediest sounds from my lips, and I can’t feel an ounce of shame.
He makes me forget everything but the feel of him.
“Wilder, I’m going to…” I don’t even get to finish my sentence, a desperate moan spilling from me, before his lips capture mine once more.
My entire body shudders beneath him, desire clawing at my bones, as I release what feels like rope loads of cum into my boxers, with him still rutting against me and chasing his own orgasm.
My hands are still stroking his back, which means I feel the second he tenses in my arms, grinding against me roughly, until his body collapses against mine.
Our kiss turns slow now, sensual, as if we’re both savoring this moment we know can’t last, but before I can even let myself enjoy it, the church bells start ringing, startling us both.
Wilder pulls back swiftly, our chests heaving with the exertion of our release, as we both realize what we just did.
Fuck.
I gave him something I shouldn’t have, a piece of me that I usually keep locked up tight, and when my eyes collide with his, he looks both pissed off and confused.
I open my mouth to say something, but when he sees the look in my eyes he beats me to it.
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
Then he storms away, leaving me both breathless and sated.
Double fuck.
Wilder doesn’t speak to me for the next three days, and I’m talking radio silence.
After he left me at the top of the castle, I made it back down to the entrance to find he had already left.
Thankfully Matteo was too busy making deals and arrangements to care, but both Knox and Beckett eyed the marks on my neck with questioning stares.
I’m sure they had no misunderstandings about what occurred between the two of us, but I didn’t offer up any explanations.
By the time we made it back to the hotel, Wilder was nowhere to be seen, and when I boarded Matteo’s plane the next day to head to Greece, he had his headphones on and was feigning sleep.
Now considering his usual interactions with me, nobody else notices that he is purposely ignoring me, but the definite chill I am feeling from him is stone cold.
Which I don’t understand, it’s not like I was on my knees pleading to be his, I knew what the kiss was.
It was nothing more than a moment of weakness for both of us, one that won’t happen again.
Now avoidance has been easy for me, I have busied myself with work, keeping his fans updated, and posting snapshots of my trip on my own social media.
I of course told Eloise about our little slip at the castle, and she squealed in excitement and said it was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.
Now I’m not sure she was listening to the same story I was retelling, but whatever.
Matteo, true to his word, bought the most beautiful yacht I have ever seen, and when we arrived we were greeted by the crew and welcomed aboard.
Wilder of course didn’t stay for the tour, ignoring us all as he went off to pick his room, but Matt said to leave him to it so I did.
It was a little weird at first, being welcomed into what was clearly a close-knit circle they formed back at The Academy, especially without Mr. Miles and the rest of the team around, but I quickly got used to it.
We sailed around Santorini for a couple of days first, but will be docking in Mykonos soon, and Matteo has informed us all that we will be shopping until we drop, so that tonight we can go out and party.
After Wilder’s spot on observation over breakfast the other day, Matteo spent his first day on board wearing me down, until I invited him into my secrets.
He followed my secret Instagram account and gushed over my true identity with lustful eyes.