24. Reed #3
All my other injuries have gently subsided, the bruising almost gone, but broken ribs are the worst for lingering.
Still, I regret my actions instantly, because the second I react to the pain, the carefree look on Wilder’s face disappears completely.
Gone is his beautiful and crooked smile, and in its place is a grimace I am far more used to seeing.
Silence descends around so fast that I know it’s coming, the conversation I have been expecting since the moment he barged his way into my room last week, and I take a deep breath and prepare myself.
“How many times?” he asks, just as rain droplets start to fall around us, and I avoid his stare and assess the clouds.
We’re not far from the hotel, so I just hope the rain holds off a little longer.
“Not as many as you’re probably thinking, and it’s barely happened since I moved out,” I lie, looking both ways before I stride across the street, praying he will drop it, but I know he won’t.
“When did it start?” The words are forced out and lined with a dangerous edge, and I roll my shoulders, trying to release some of the tension there.
“The night I told him I was gay.” My response is said with zero emotion, and I can feel the anger radiating off of him.
“It was my own fault really, I mean I’m a Lamont, did I really think I’d be able to put my own desires before my family’s reputation?
” I laugh humorlessly, shaking my head. “I know what I was born into, and I accepted my fate a long time ago.”
“And how many times has that fate resulted in broken bones?” Wilder snaps back in a clipped tone, and I try not to flinch.
“Does it make a difference?”
“Yes.”
I shake my head, choosing to ignore him, thankful when we reach the road where our hotel sits. It’s still a good few minutes walk and the rain is really starting to pour, but I ignore it, and Wilder and I walk briskly toward our destination.
“Does your mother know?”
“I think so.”
“Does he also hit her?”
“Probably.”
“Does anybody else know?”
“No.”
My last answer is a lie. My father has plenty of people he keeps on his payroll that are fully aware of how sick he is, but he pays them enough that they always look the other way.
And I wasn’t technically lying earlier, my father doesn’t hit me as often as he once did, but that’s only because I don’t spend much time in his presence.
“Why haven’t you told anyone? Yes, I know he probably has connections, but you’re hardly a nobody, people would believe you if you spoke up.
” His tone is insistent now, and closer than before, and I know he is fighting to keep up with me, and I tell myself the coldness I’m feeling is thanks to the rain.
“It’s not that simple,” I start, but he cuts me off.
“Yes, it fucking is,” he snarls, as we push through the revolving door of the hotel and make our way toward the elevators.
“Stop fucking hiding his fucking sick secrets and live your life.” I’m about to ignore him, but he reaches out and grips my arm in a rough hold, pulling me toward him.
“I’m fucking serious, Reed, what’s more important than you being happy, and more importantly, safe? ”
A warm rush in the center of my chest clashes with the ice in my veins, but I can’t help but snap back at him. “Why do you even care? What difference does my life and safety have on yours?”
“Trust me, Blue, I wish I fucking knew.”
His answer has us both pausing, the tension around us coiling tight, more than ready to explode.
I watch his eyes flick between both of mine and then down to my lips, and I know what’s coming next.
I also know I should stop it, that no good will come from kissing him again, that it’s a line that we shouldn’t cross again, but it turns out when it comes to him I have no power.
Instead, he wields it against me like a damn siren, and all I can do is submit.
“Fuck,” Wilder curses, before he leans in to bring his mouth to mine.
Just then the elevator doors open beside us.
“Shit, sorry,” Laura gasps, and I jump away from Wilder so quickly, that I almost fall right over her as I stumble into the elevator.
When I meet her stare, I can see the surprise in it, before she assesses what she is clearly deciding as the situation, and smiles.
“It’s all yours.” She gestures as she steps out, smiling at Wilder as she passes him, but all I can focus on is the heavy thump of my heart beating in my chest.
He almost kissed me, in public, what the fuck was he thinking?
What the fuck am I thinking?
I’ve already been papped with Matteo, and that was enough to induce my father’s wrath. What the hell would he do to me if he saw I had the best non-date of my life with Wilder fucking Miles?
Wilder looks back to me, both the anger and the tension gone, before he sighs, as if he can read every thought in my head. “I’ll take the stairs.” The doors close before I can even think to say anything, let alone stop him, and his absence takes any trace of heat with him.
That night my bed remains empty, and I don’t see Wilder again until race day.