32. Reed #2
My pulse pounds so hard I can hear it, but I force myself not to look away, not to flinch, not to become the scared little boy who always cowers in his presence.
“First, I want to finish my work here,” I start slowly.
“I made a commitment to Cooper Miles and his son, and I want to stay and finish out the job I was hired to do, until the PRI season ends.” I swallow thickly as he ingests my words, but his expression doesn’t change.
There is only silence, then, “And second?”
I keep my blank mask on my face, keeping my surprise at bay, because this is the worst part.
I don’t care about me, he’s already done everything he can to me, and to stop him going further, I will continue to take the brunt of all his wrath.
I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it every day for the rest of my life, if it means I can protect my brother.
“You don’t ever lay another hand on Freddie,” I force the words out in a firm tone, and for the first time ever I see something unfamiliar flicker across his face.
It’s gone too quickly to be sure, but it looks almost like recognition, or understanding, maybe both, because he knows exactly why that is my second demand. He knows what he did, what he is, and I can feel him contemplating his options, so I push on before he can stop me.
“I’ll do it, I’ll propose to her.” The words scrape against my throat, like pieces of jagged glass cutting into my carotid.
“I’ll do my duty as a Lamont, I’ll marry her.
I’ll give you heirs, I won’t cause trouble, hell, I’ll take over the damn company if that’s what you need from me.
” Each sentence feels like another nail in my coffin, and I can barely even hear my own voice anymore.
“I’ll do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you meet those two conditions.
” My father’s eyes never leave mine, and I hold his stare as I add, “But if you touch him again, if you so much as hurt one hair on his head, then I promise you I will burn it all to the ground.”
Silence stretches between us once more, then, to my horror, he smiles.
It’s not a warm smile, it’s not even filled with pride.
No, it’s both cold and calm, as he finally reaches for the glass beside him and raises it toward me.
“Maybe you are my son after all.” He takes a slow and measured sip, still watching me, as his words hit me harder than he ever could.
He thinks this is ambition, strategy, that I have finally learned to play his game, but this isn’t a victory, it’s a surrender.
It’s me using the only tool I have in my arsenal, to try and scrape through this with some tiny semblance of safety for my brother, so he doesn’t have to go through the same thing I did.
Still, I feel something crack apart inside of me anyway.
Not visibly, I’m too good at holding my mask in place for that, but I know it’s the death of a future he never would have allowed anyway.
One that isn’t filled with Wilder’s green eyes and sarcastic smiles.
"Does that mean we have a deal?" I ask, my voice coming out stronger than I feel capable of right now, but my father only studies me closely.
“When will you propose?” he asks, lifting his glass to study the amber liquid inside, as if it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.
“Once I’m back in the States, Eloise and I will flaunt our reunion, dinners, drinks, shows, whatever you want.
Tipping off all the right reporters until we are all over the society pages.
Then I will propose in a way that gives them all something to talk about, and plan a June wedding for next year. Will that suffice?”
My father looks impressed, taking another sip of his drink, before he discards the glass and rises to his feet. “If you keep your word,” he starts, waving off to the side flippantly in agreement, and all I can do is nod once.
“Then we have a deal.”
Five words, that’s all it takes to change the course of my life.
All I can do is nod and then turn to leave, because if I stay here any longer, I might start screaming.
I can’t take the almost prideful look in his eyes, because all it does is remind me that he’s won.
I can feel my body wanting to physically drop, but my feet somehow carry me back to the elevator, while my mind stays back in that moment, knowing I just signed my own death sentence.
It somehow feels more painful than any time he has ever struck me, but the worst thing is, the only thing I can think about is Wilder.
His stupid, devastating smirk, the way he watches me, the way he says Blue like it means something.
My chest now feels hollow, like something important has been carved out of it, and by the time I make it back to the room I am apparently staying in, my hands are shaking. I barely manage to scan the keycard against the lock before the door is being ripped open.
Eloise looks at me in panic, scanning me as I push inside, before her entire body deflates with relief when she finds no harm. “Reed.”
I don’t say anything at first, I can’t, but I know like me, she needs to hear me say it. “I told him I’d do it,” I whisper, closing my eyes so I don’t have to see the look in her eyes. “We’ll get engaged in the fall, and he won’t put his hands on Freddie again.”
A choked sob leaves her. “Oh God.”
“It’s fine, we’re fine.”
The lie sounds ridiculous, even to me, and she doesn’t believe me, because the sentence I just said out loud somehow makes it more real.
My hands drag through my hair, before I sink onto the edge of the bed and just stare at the floor.
Neither of us say anything for a few minutes, because what can we say?
The deal is done. Eloise just sits down beside me, as we both accept our fate.
A sharp knock against the door makes us both pull apart, because there is only one person who knows where our room is. Eloise looks at me in a panic, but I just reach up and quickly wipe her eyes. “It’s okay, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
The knock comes again, harsher this time, and before either of us can even move, a familiar sound pushes through it. “Open the door, Blue.”
Wilder.
Fuck.
I hate the way my heart instantly starts to beat faster, even as Eloise’s eyes widen.
He knocks again, because of course he does, there isn’t a patient bone in his body and I’m transported back to last night when it was him falling apart.
I never did manage to get to the bottom of what was wrong with him and now it appears he has long forgotten his own problems, as he once again tries to barge his way into mine.
“You either open the door or I kick it down.”
I move on instinct, knowing that if I don’t open the door, he will in fact knock it down, no matter what it takes.
He shouldn’t be here, he can’t be, not like this, but what choice do I have, it’s Wilder.
He’s already seen me at my worst and still keeps coming back, so there is no way I’m going to be able to keep him away now.
The second I unlock it, the door swings inward and Wilder pushes me back and steps inside without permission.
His entire body is on high alert as his eyes flash around the room, clocking Eloise, but moving past her instantly, as if he is looking for someone else.
It isn’t until he has cleared the room completely that his stare comes back to mine, searching every inch of me for any signs of distress.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice low and lethal, and I fucking hate that I am about to lie to him.
“Nothing, Eloise just surprised me, that’s all,” I start, forcing my voice to sound calm and neutral, and then pasting a smile across my face. “Let me introduce you, Wilder Miles, this is Eloise…” he cuts me off before I can finish, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I know exactly who she is, Blue. Now tell me what’s wrong.” Not a question, a demand, and I would love nothing more than to fall into his arms and pour my heart out to him, but he can’t be that person for me.
“It’s nothing, I promise, my dad sent her because he knew there would be a lot of press here, it’s no big deal.” I ensure my voice doesn’t shake and my stare doesn’t falter, and I watch him absorb the words and search for a lie.
Except he doesn’t find one, because I have been playing this game since I was a child, and not even Wilder Miles will be able to break me.
He nods slowly, releasing a slow breath as his body relaxes.
He flicks a look in Eloise’s direction, who is still just standing, watching us, before he takes a slow, measured step toward me.
“You know I don’t like pretty boy bullshitters, Blue,” he says quietly, and the words hurt like a blade being dug in between my ribs, trying to find my heart.
I force myself to huff out a laugh, reaching out to grip his hand in mine. “I’m fine, I promise, just a little tired from looking after drunk nepo babies,” I tease, and finally a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“You know me, anything to get your attention,” he mumbles, still searching my stare, and I fight harder than I ever have before to keep my face blank.
He opens his mouth to say something else, but then closes it, looking back at Eloise before he sighs.
“Just call me if you need anything, okay?” I nod, because the gentle tone of his voice almost kills me.
When he steps back, he gives me a one final glance before he adds, “Team dinner tonight at 7 p.m., don’t be late, you can bring Hartwell with you. ”
Then he leaves without another word, taking my last shred of hope with him.