Chapter Eight-Angel
CHAPTER EIGHT-ANGEL
T his girl.
I am so fucking mad right now.
I’ve been driving for the last two hours in dead silence. I just can’t open my fucking mouth. I’m totally unable to speak after what she just revealed.
Is she serious?
Does she think I’m some kind of male whore? Like I just fuck women without caring.
Shit.
Of course she does , my inner voice scolds.
Because that is exactly what I’ve been doing my entire life. One after the other. I’ve gone through more women than I can remember their name.
Using bodies just like they use me. Just to get off, to relieve the pressure of my life. I don’t feel bad about it.
Those women knew the deal, and they fucked me for the same reason. Just because I was there.
But this is not the same.
She’s different.
The way I feel about her is different.
How does she not know that?
She don’t know that because of you, you fucking asshole , my inner voice reminds me.
Now, I’m mad all over again. Fury fills my veins. It boils my blood and makes it hard to fucking breathe.
And it’s all directed at me.
Only me.
Somewhere along the line, me and Sisi here, we got our wires crossed. But I’ll be damned if Little Doll is just gonna dismiss me without giving me a chance.
Fuck that.
She’s already mentioned something about me cheating or being with other women twice now, and I have yet to get a real fucking answer from her about it.
But I will. I’ve got to. There is no other choice.
I’ve been watching my cousin Nico for the past few months. Seeing the way he is with his Anna, and it’s unbelievable.
Of the three of us, Nico is a fucking wild card. I never thought he’d find his person. But what do you know? He has found her, and she is just as crazy about him as he is about her.
Watching those two set a switch off inside of me. It’s like all my life has been a series of meaningless one night stands. I want something else now. I’m ready.
But Sisi’s words, well, they cut me. They made me feel hollow. And I don’t fucking like that.
I don’t like her talking like she’s resigned to some false belief that I used her to scratch some bodily itch.
If only it was that simple.
But the fact is, this ain’t an itch. This is something more. Something life altering.
And I didn’t use her. She’s wrong about that. Yeah, she left town without a word, but that’s on me, too.
It’s my fault for not making sure she knows where she stands with me.
Shit.
The truth is, I’m fucking bad at this. Opening up. Talking about my feelings. Fucking I can do, but she’s right. She deserves more from me.
And she’s gonna get it. I just don’t know where to start.
I’m the Vipers’ fucking Enforcer, not their poet. I never had to use pretty words or bring a girl gifts or flowers.
Fuck. I never had to.
Even Luc managed to get his girl. Maria, that pretty little bartender married him with hardly a fucking proposal.
“It’s not you. It’s me.”
That’s the last thing she said to me. I’ve been driving, my eyes on the road, just replaying her words over and over again like some kind of masochistic litany.
“Oh my God,” she murmurs as we approach the street where she rents an apartment, and my eyes flick up.
“What the fuck?”
“Um, I think the building is condemned,” I say as I come to a stop right along some police cars.
“B-but my things,” she stutters, eyes wide.
“Excuse me, officer?” I ask, rolling down my window.
“Keep moving, buddy—oh shit. You’re Angel Fury,” the young cop murmurs.
“Nice to meet you, Officer Polaski,” I say, reading his badge and offering my hand.
He takes it, and I raise my eyebrows as he simply holds onto me like we’re fucking dating.
“Sorry, um, sir,” he says.
“No worries. Tell me what’s going on here.”
He looks around, scratching the back of his neck. But no one is looking at us, and I know he’s going to tell me what I want, and fast, too.
Most people do, and I’m right. It doesn’t take long.
It’s a fucking gift.
Whatever.
He explains there was something wrong with the gas lines in the old building and a few people had to be rushed to the hospital. That’s not all. Apparently, while they were trying to fix the leak, there was a minor explosion and a subsequent fire.
“Which apartment took the brunt of the fire?” Sisi asks, and she is leaning over me.
The feel of her soft body against mine is playing havoc with my senses, but I don’t move or acknowledge it. We have shit to discuss before any of that.
“Oh, the basement apartment,” the officer replies, and I feel Sisi’s shocked gasp before I hear it.
“Thanks,” I say, and I continue to drive slowly down the block.
“That’s my apartment,” she whispers, and I know she is in shock or something.
“Oh my God. My clothes. My computer!”
“Your computer? Your laptop is in your suitcase,” I say.
“Yeah, but I had a desktop for work.”
I nod. I know she runs her own marketing business. I researched her months ago.
“Surely, you back up to a cloud. Can’t you access it from your laptop?” I ask.
“Oh, um, yeah,” she says and sounds surprised that I know anything about the stuff.
I’m not Steve Jobs or anything, but I know my way around computers and software. I have to know it. It’s part of my job as Enforcer.
My legitimate title is head of security for Viper Enterprises, and it’s the same fucking thing. The only difference is I only carry one weapon when I’m wearing that hat.
“But my laptop is older, so it’s slow.”
I make a sound, showing her I heard her.
It’s no big deal replacing her computer, but I’m sure she must be feeling shitty about it.
“Um, I guess I need to find a place to stay.”
“I got it covered,” I tell her.
“Oh, no, I can’t stay with you,” she begins, shaking her head.
My anger returns with a vengeance. I pull over sharply, shifting into park. Then I turn as much as a guy my size can in this stupid fucking seat so I can see her face.
“Little Doll, look at me,” I say, and I wait until her celery green stare meets mine.
“You said a lot of shit before, Sisi, and I listened, so now it’s my turn. No interruptions,” I tell her when she opens her mouth.
The air is vibrating with energy, and I know most of it is coming from me. But it’s not all me, and that’s the only thing I need to convince myself I’m right. That this thing between us is real.
“There’s obviously been a miscommunication somewhere, but the first thing I want you to know is I was planning to drive you to your parents’ house right now. Not because I don’t want you to stay with me, I do. Very much. But I think you need time, and I’m sure this is shocking. By the way, I am sorry about your place. Of course, I had no idea this happened, or I wouldn’t have driven here,” I tell her and suddenly my chest feels tight.
I can’t breathe. Fear is pounding through my blood, thundering inside my head like a runaway freight train.
What if we hadn’t driven back from Florida?
What if she’d been inside when the explosion went off?
Our eyes meet and it’s as if she just realized that same thing.
“Shit. Fuck. Come here,” I say, and I grab her in a hug.
Giselle clings to me, and all the other shit I want to tell her leaves my brain.
She’s hugging me so tight. My neck feels warm and wet, then I feel her whole body shake and I know she’s crying.
Goddamn it.
I’m not good at this. I don’t know how to give someone comfort, but I try. All I can do is fucking try.
I feel helpless and inadequate to the task, and it’s a first. But I hold her to me. I feel her misery, her fear, and I take it all in. I take her in.
If I thought I was obsessed with this woman before, it is nothing to how I feel right now.
No, we ain’t done. She ain’t getting rid of me.
“You’re just saying that cause you feel bad for me. You don’t have to. It’s okay. I’ll be okay,” she says, her voice muffled because she is speaking into my shirt.
I didn’t even realize I said any of that out loud. Oh well. She might as well know my plans.
“Damn right you’re okay, Koukla. I won’t let you be anything else, you hear me?” I grumble, and I mean it.
I mean it so damn much.
The thought of her being anything other than whole, safe, and sound is too much for me to bear, so I don’t even go there.
“You’re fine. You’re safe,” I repeat against her soft, sweet smelling hair, “and you were right. You deserve a better man than the one I’ve been. But that’s on me. But I need you to understand something. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. Not anymore. Not again. Got it?”
“What are you talking about?”
Giselle’s muffled voice reaches me, and I smile. I love the feel of her in my embrace as she sniffles against my chest.
“Exactly what I said. I know you have doubts, but I have every intention of blowing those right out of the water. I’m the man you need, the one you deserve, me and no one else. And I’m gonna prove it to you.”
I back up, and her arms slip away from me. Her nose is red, and her eyes are glassy. She looks sad and exhausted, but I don’t know if that is physical or emotional.
Her eyes are still glassy, and her nose is pink from crying, and my heart feels like it might break from the way she is looking at me. Like she’s scared to believe in me.
Goddamn.
I never wanted anyone to believe in me as much as I did her right then. But I am self-aware enough to know I need to earn that from her.
And I will. There is no other choice.
She is so beautiful. I can’t help myself. I dip my head and steal a kiss, loving the way she responds even when she doesn’t want to.
My Koukla leans her head back and opens her lips and I slide my tongue into her mouth twice before relenting.
Going home alone with a hard on isn’t ideal, but I get it. She needs time and space. And I’m gonna give her everything she needs.
Me. Only me.
“Now, get back in your seat, Little Doll, and buckle up. I’m taking you to your parents’ house.”