Chapter Nineteen-Giselle
CHAPTER NINETEEN-GISELLE
“ O kay,” I say, and bite my lip as he joins me on the floor of the ridiculously large bathroom.
“It’s just, I know we haven't talked about it, but maybe we should,” I hedge and again I feel like a moron.
Safe sex is not something anyone should take for granted. I should have had this discussion before I ever touched him. And I am not proud I haven’t.
“Talked about what?”
Oh my God.
I can’t believe I am going to say this. But whatever. I’m an adult and if I am going to have sex with a man, I should be able to talk about it, right?
Just fucking spit it out, Sisi.
That’s what he said.
Shut up, I tell my inner asshole voice.
“Okay, so, we've been a little careless about protection ,” I begin.
“Protection,” he repeats.
“Yeah. I mean, um, you know, condoms,” I say, and I watch his jaw tense as he grinds his teeth.
“Koukla—” he starts, but I won’t let him finish yet.
“Angel, I know we don’t have labels for what we’re doing, and I am not asking you for anything. I don’t expect us to be exclusive. And I realize living here for the time being might be putting a cramp in your lifestyle, but I’m working on that. I’ve been looking for rooms to rent, and Maria said her old place is still available so I can call the super after I shower,” I say, continuing with a rush.
“Giselle—”
“Also,” I continue, running right over whatever he was going to say, “I think while we’re intimate with each other, well, we should start using them. Condoms, I mean. But just so you know, I am on birth control.”
I pause, tucking my hair behind my ears, and reaching inside me for a little courage to continue.
“ Also , I had my last physical at the start of the summer. Blood work and all, and I’m healthy as a horse. Also, well, I haven’t been with anyone but you since way before that, but I know you can’t say the same, and, I mean, you understand what I’m saying,” I blurt the last, feeling utterly embarrassed.
Seconds stretch between us, and my cheeks are burning. But I don’t look at him yet. I can’t.
What the hell did I just do?
“Can I talk now?” Angel asks suddenly.
His voice is so deep and even it startles me into looking up. But Angel doesn’t wait for me to reply.
He just grabs me by the waist and sits me on his big lap. His hard thighs flex beneath my ass, and I struggle to keep my moan to myself.
One big hand cups the back of my neck, forcing my eyes to meet his icy blue ones, and the other is curved around my hip. Like he is afraid I’m going to disappear or something if he’s not holding onto me.
“First, you ain’t leaving this condo for some shithole basement apartment with zero security. You are staying right fucking here where I can keep you safe,” he says with a finality that brokers no argument.
“Second, demand anything you want, Koukla. Anything. Anytime. Any fucking place. And I’ll get it done. I swear it to you. Believe me?” Angel says, and his voice is little more than a growl at the end.
I wonder if that believe me is more a demand than an actual question. He raises an eyebrow, and that settles it. I nod, answering him.
Because I do. I do believe him.
“Good. Now, third, if you want me to wear a condom, I will. But I’m clean. I’ll send you a copy of my latest physical and you can even talk to my doctor if you want. But there’s only been you ever since that first night you tossed a beer in my face. I only want you, Giselle.”
“What?”
“I am telling you. I haven’t looked at anyone else, Koukla, much less fucked them. There. Is. Only. You.”
I close my eyes and a wave of anguish hits me because I want his words to be true. I want to believe them so damn much.
But I know better. And I hate that he’s lying to me.
“Stop,” I beg him. “You don't have to feed me a line, Angel. I am well aware of your reputation.”
“My reputation? Sisi, I'm not feeding you any fucking line. I’m not feeding you anything at all. I promise you'll know it when I do,” he says, and the innuendo is not lost on me.
Period or not, I shiver and look down, clenching my thighs together. Angel squeezes my neck, and I flick my gaze back to him.
“I’m not lying,” he says.
“The night I left I tried to surprise you at the Den,” I confess, finally telling him the reason I ran.
“You came to the Den?”
“Yeah, I did. But when I came in, and I saw you, you weren’t alone. A woman was on your lap. She had her arms around your neck, and she looked super comfy. So please, don't lie to me now and tell me that you haven’t been with anybody else,” I say and now I’m pushing against his hold, struggling to get off him.
But he won’t let me go.
“Fuck. I know what you’re talking about,” he growls, and that’s it.
I need to go. I just can’t sit there and listen if he’s going to explain how he spent the night with that woman. I try to wiggle off him.
“Hang on. Quit squirming,” he commands and his grip on me gets tighter.
“You had your say, now let me have mine,” he says.
I stop fighting, but I am so done with this shit. I know Angel can see that I’m resigned.
It’s right there, shining in my eyes. I blink and two fat tears fall onto my cheeks. And it makes me so angry that I’m crying.
He grinds his teeth. But still, he holds my gaze. Angel doesn’t look away. Not once.
“You must have walked in at the same moment Margaret O’Doyle and her new lady, Giovanna, I don’t know her last name, came to celebrate her ascension to the head of her family. O’Doyle is an associate of ours. Giovanna, the blonde, is her girlfriend. She was drunk off her skull, climbing onto my lap,” he explains, and I am fucking floored.
She’s got a girlfriend. And she wasn’t hitting on him. She was just drunk.
Ohhh.
“She wasn’t making a pass at me, Koukla. I’m not even her speed. But even if she was so inclined, I’d have told her no,” he says, and he looks so damn sincere.
“I told you, I only want you.”
“Angel,” I whimper, thinking about the months in Florida when I probably should have just talked to him.
Am I a fool to believe him?
“I swear I have not touched another woman since you. Don’t you get it? I only see you, Koukla.”
“Angel,” I repeat, murmuring his name.
I whisper because I’m afraid to break this spell. But I’m trembling too, because I want to believe him so damn badly. I just don’t know if it’s the smart thing to do.
“I know you don’t trust me, and now I know why. But I promise you, I’m gonna earn it back, Little Doll. I’m gonna make you believe in me,” he says into my mouth as he claims my lips in a kiss that makes me curse Mother Nature.
Angel’s kisses are addictive. They’re better than coffee and sweeter than ice cream, and I want more. I want to kiss him from head to toe.
Fuck my fucking period.
He kisses my cheek, my chin, and my neck, sucking on that space that drives me absolutely wild, and I swear I could come from that alone. Angel groans, and his tongue laps at me before he licks back into my mouth.
“I still wanna fuck you, Sisi. Period or not. But I can wait till you’re comfortable with the idea,” he says, plucking at my lips one more time before standing up with me in his arms.
“Get showered and dressed. I’m taking you out for breakfast,” he says and kisses me again before leaving the bathroom.
What is with this man always ordering me around? But the better question is, why do I like it?
I’m in so much trouble.