Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
NOAH
Allie was weirdly distant at practice this morning. At first I thought it was because of our kiss last night, but the more I watched her, the more I realized something else is going on. When I asked if she wanted to talk, she told me, “Not yet. But soon.” Which has left me more confused than ever.
On my way home from the gym, I decide to stop at the grocery store and pick up some staples. I’m not even out of my car before my phone rings. One look at the screen and I see that it’s Tom Hanks.
“Tom,” I say, trying not to sound too eager.
“Noah, how are you?”
“I’m fine. What can I do for you?”
His voice lowers to an ominous timber. “Holland Frame had a heart attack last night.” Before I can ask after his welfare, he adds, “He’ll eventually be okay but he’s not going to be able to coach this year.”
There is no part of me that is happy to hear this. This is not how I wanted to get my old job back. I wanted to prove I was the best man for the position, not have it handed to me. If that’s what’s actually happening here. “And?” I ask.
“Don’t be stupid, Noah. We need you. That should make you very happy.”
I adjust the seat in my car, so it’s slightly reclined. “I’m not happy the man had a heart attack,” I tell him. What kind of a monster does he think I am?
“Of course not. But it’s still working out rather well for you. You do want to come back, don’t you?”
I do but I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking I’ll be that easy to get. Instead, I say, “I have a job, Tom.”
“At some hick high school in Wisconsin that no one has ever heard of.” Even though I once thought this very thing, I don’t appreciate hearing it from someone who’s never even been to Elk Lake.
“It’s my alma mater,” I tell him with a large dose of irritation.
“Well, good for you that you made something of your life, then. But I don’t care if the president of the United States went there, it’s still a nothing school.”
Tom is really starting to make me mad and it’s all I can do to keep from telling him to take his job and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. “So, are you offering me my job back?”
“I have the school board’s permission to do so, yes. We would ideally like you to start in a week. We realize it would probably be impossible for you to start this Monday.”
“In a week? What’s that going to do to my current team?” Not that he cares.
“They’ll probably stay at the bottom of the heap like they already are.” The air goes dead while we both try to compose our thoughts. Tom beats me to the punch when he says, “You don’t sound very happy about this opportunity, Noah.”
Truth be told, I’m not very happy. I didn’t want someone else to get sick and have it handed to me like a consolation prize. But I can’t very well say that. Instead, I ask, “What will the pay be?”
“Same as before plus a small added moving bonus to bring you back to Chicago.”
“Then my answer is no,” I tell him without any hesitation.
“Don’t let your pride stand in the way of your dreams, Noah.” He sounds like a minister lecturing me on the finer points of theology.
“If you need me back like you say you do, Tom, the cost is going to be twice my previous salary.”
“That’s ridiculous. You’d practically be making as much as the principal if you got that.” He sure isn’t making me feel very valued and that’s ticking me right off.
“Basketball is a big money maker for Banks, Tom. A lot of the students who enroll there do so because they want to play for the Bulldogs. Nearly every player on the varsity team gets at least one D-1 offer.”
“Twice isn’t going to happen,” he maintains.
Both sides of this argument are playing out in my head like an angel and devil vying for the title of heavyweight championship of the world.
Angel: You’re getting your job back, Noah. It’s what you’ve wanted.
Devil: You’re not getting it on merit; you’re getting it out of their desperation.
Angel: At least you’d have it.
Devil: But if you take it, they’ll never know how much they really needed you.
Angel: Pride goeth before a fall, Noah.
Devil: Hold strong and don’t take the job for a penny less than you deserve.
“In addition to the money,” I tell Tom, “I want a five-year contract that can’t be terminated without a full buyout.” This way, even if Holland Frame comes back, they can’t boot me out without it costing them an arm and a leg.
“You’re not being offered the head coaching position at Harvard,” he shouts. “Don’t be greedy, Noah. Take the job and be happy Banks is willing to hire you back after you walked out on them.”
Oh, no he didn’t. He did not just make me the bad guy here. “I took the Bulldogs to third in the state,” I tell him in a dangerously calm voice. “I did that. And for my efforts I was demoted.”
“At full pay,” he reminds me like my title was of no importance.
“Take my counteroffer to the board, Tom. I will not come back for less.”
“You can’t be making as much as you were at the school you’re with now.
” I hate that he thinks he can talk to me like this.
Just because he’s a loaded moneybag who bought his kid’s spot at Banks does not make him my superior.
In fact, he’s not that much older than I am, but he’s talking down to me like he’s a seventy-year-old business tycoon and it’s my job to shine his boots.
“How much money I’m making now is none of your concern, Tom. Take them my offer or don’t. Either way, I reject the current proposal.” I hang up the phone before he can respond.
My heart is beating so fast, I force myself to take several deep breaths to calm down. My dream is on the verge of coming true. Going back to Banks is practically all I’ve thought about since I packed up my car and moved to Elk Lake. Why aren’t I happier about it then?
An image of Allie pops into my head and I smile despite my current anger.
She might have something to do with my lack of enthusiasm, but even so, this is my dream.
Allie and I hardly know each other and I’m not going to pass up a life full of trophies and accolades for something as uncertain as the possibility of our having a future together.
There’s also the small fact that Allie can’t have her own children.
I know I would love any child that I raised, but I still have that very human desire to replicate myself.
It must be miraculous to see a tiny version of your eyes, your nose, or even your pinkie toes in your baby. Could I give that up for love?
Even as I ask the question, the devil re-emerges and declares, “You aren’t in love with the woman!”
The angel is quick to come back as well. “Why can’t you be in love with her? Love is magical and mystical. It doesn’t follow any earthly timeline. It’s a gift that can only be truly defined by the spirit.”
I no longer have the energy to go into the store.
Instead, I pull out of my parking spot and drive back to my parents’ house.
Sitting out front, I stare at the yard I’ve known my whole life.
I remember Lorelai and me running around the bushes chasing squirrels.
I recall all the Halloweens we spent carving pumpkins on the porch.
I think about the Christmas lights my dad suspended from the gutters that made everything look like it was encased in brilliant crystal icicles.
Looking back at the street, I can almost see the school bus pulling up to take me and my sister to school.
This house is full of memories from what most would consider the perfect childhood. Heck, even I would call it that and I know there were bumps along the way. Why are all these great memories making me feel so sad?
My dream of going back to Banks and taking my team all the way to first is on the brink of happening. I should be ecstatic, but I’m not. That’s when I hear a loud voice inside my head like the Almighty himself is talking to me.
What if your dreams have changed, Noah? What if there’s something more important in store for you?
And in that moment, I can’t help but wonder, what if there is?