Four
Kito
We’re three rounds in when JJ finally pops up as online. Even if I hadn’t seen the notification I’d have known she was on her way just by taking note of how MourningStar and Quietek go silent. We’re all well aware of her and MourningStar’s late-night communication. Sure, not much was said but the very fact she sent a picture of herself to him? It’s something.
I don’t exactly know what kind of something but still. Something.
JJ’s over two hours later than she usually is and that alone makes me nervous. I know she goes to her boyfriend’s mum’s house on a Sunday but she always makes an effort to get home as fast as possible. She’s not one for social gatherings, she’s similar to Quietek in that regard. She’s mentioned before that she’s diagnosed with ASD and finds it difficult to manage her emotions outside of the house. As far as I’m aware overstimulation is a big thing for her, but she doesn’t talk about it much.
“Hey,” she says over the mic. There’s something different about her voice that I can’t quite place. She sniffs and clears her throat and I instantly realise she’s upset. Even with the dodgy sound quality, I know she’s been crying.
“Hey, Princess,” MourningStar replies, sounding a little on edge himself. Maybe because he’s never used that nickname for her in front of us.
I fight to find the nerve to ask her outright but settle on a “You alright there, JJ?”
If her fucking piece of shit boyfriend is responsible for her being upset I’ll gladly hunt him down and kill him. It wouldn’t take much, from what I’ve heard he’s around half my size so not exactly much of a threat.
“What, do I sound awful?” she asks with a bite.
“No,” Quietek replies on my behalf. “You’re just later than usual.”
“I had to rest for a while, my head was pounding. Satisfied?”
We might not be able to see each other but I know for a fact the other two guys are just as concerned as I am. She doesn’t talk about it much but JJ has a chronic illness, one that causes pain and fatigue, not to mention the number of times she’s fallen over and broken something. From body parts to TV’s, nothing is safe when she’s in a flare up.
I pull up a private chat with the guys and type a quick message.
Of course Mourning didn’t show us the picture, he kept that all to himself. Something about not wanting to betray her trust, since she sent it to him and him only. It’s frustrating but if the tables were turned I’d do the same thing.
“Are we going to play or what?” JJ asks and I hurriedly close the chat tab as if she might be able to see it through the screen.
By the time we’ve gotten through five matches the blue glow from my computer is beginning to hurt my eyes. I want to call it quits and sign off for the night but JJ’s mood is still bothering me. I don’t know why but I get the feeling she doesn’t want to be alone, bad mood or not, she needs some comfort or support.
“I need to sleep, guys,” Mourning yawns and I listen as his chair creaks while he presumably stretches.
“Me too,” Quietek adds. “As usual, I have work to catch up on by tomorrow and I’ve already left it late.”
“Catch you tomorrow, I guess,” JJ replies in a sigh.
Within a few seconds, the guys have signed off and left me and JJ alone. It’s not a rare occurrence, we’re usually the last ones standing on a Sunday night. But it makes me more inclined to check in on her.
“So you’re sure you’re okay?” I ask, hating how basic the question sounds but I’ve never been a wordsmith.
She hums over the mic, her character going AFK on the screen. I fiddle with the armrests of my gaming chair while I wait for her to speak, picking at the leather where it’s lifting at the seams.
“Sunday lunch didn’t exactly go to plan,” she admits, finally. With that, it’s like the floodgates have been opened and she goes on to relay everything that happened while she was at her boyfriend’s family home. To my surprise, I keep my cool. Even when she tells me that prick insinuated she’d had one too many roast potatoes. It sounds ridiculous but I think it makes me so angry because all I want is to make sure she’s taken care of. There’s some twisted thing inside me that wants to make this girl I’ve never met feel safe .
“If you were mine I’d let you eat as many fucking roast potatoes as you like,” I state, realising just how stupid it sounds. But to my absolute joy, when she speaks next, I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Maybe I’m just grouchy, something is going on with me I just can’t quite put my finger on it.” Although she sounds as though she’s holding back, I let it go.
“You think you’re getting sick?” I frown, running a hand back through my hair and letting my fingers tangle in the strands. “You know your chronic illness gets worse when you’re run down.”
“Yeah, I know,” she replies. “I don’t think I’m ill, as such. Just cursed.”
“Sounds fun.” I laugh and she joins in with me. And by God have I missed that sound. It’s probably only been a day since I last heard her sweet giggle but hearing it now is like being punched in the stomach. What I wouldn’t give to see her face when she laughs. Just to know what her lips are like, her eyes. Whether she’s animated when she speaks, like me, or if she’s calm and cool more like Adair. I don’t include Orion in the equation since we all know he’s a grumpy bastard.
“Why do you feel cursed?”
“I don’t know,” she muses and I revel in the newfound lightness to her tone. “I want to be the person Jack wants me to be. I do. I’ve tried everything. Changing how I dress, dieting, trying not to bore him by chatting about you guys and gaming. I’m not sure it’s enough. And that, my friend, has been the problem my entire life.”
“You’re enough for us,” I admit. “We’ve never had any complaints.”
JJ groans, sniffles then goes silent for a few seconds. I wonder if I’ve overstepped. It wouldn’t be the first time. I don’t exactly have the best filter when it comes to conversation. “Sorry, I’m crazy emotional today.”
“It’s okay,” I promise, wishing more than anything that I could reach through the computer and wrap my arms around her. I’m not the smartest alpha in the pack but I know when someone’s in distress and right now, alarm bells are ringing. “You don’t have to apologise, we all have bad days.”
She giggles through tears. “I’ve never known you to have a bad day the entire time I’ve known you, Minx.”
“Trust me, I have them.” The honest truth is I have plenty of bad days, it’s just that jumping on a chat with my three favourite people and playing games… all the bad stuff just dissolves into nothing. Suddenly the bad doesn’t seem so, well, bad. JJ yawns and the tiredness she’s feeling seems to seep into my bones. A few seconds later and I’m yawning too.
“I don’t want to go but I need sleep, this chair just isn’t cutting it tonight.”
I nod, forgetting she can’t see me. “You could swap to mobile chat, take me with you.”
“Wha… really?” she asks like my bare minimum effort suggestion is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her.
“Of course, I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
Her voice sounds so small when she replies, “That would be nice, Minxy. Thank you.”
A few moments later and a lot of background noise and I hear her finally collapse into bed. There’s a flurry of movement, probably blankets and pillows being adjusted, before she sighs happily.
“Tell me that story again,” she breathes.
I laugh, shaking my head as I settle down on the worn settee in my living room. “Oh, what story would that be?”
She joins me in laughing, embarrassment seeping into her tone. “The one where you and Quietek made Mourning lose his game and he threw his computer out the window.”
“Oh, thaaaaaat one,” I joke. “Okay, it was your average Sunday evening…”