Chapter 1
Chapter One
FOUR YEARS LATER
M attie Bellamy waited for her sisters in the hidden back patio of her favorite Los Angeles restaurant, The Flower Pot, with barely contained anticipation. This brunch was the first time she’d seen Lizzie and Piper at the same time in nearly four years. Four years was way too long to go between group hugs.
Mattie glanced at the three empty chairs. One of them would remain empty, which twisted her heart. Her youngest sister, Della, hadn’t been invited to this family reunion.
Most people didn’t know there were four Bellamy sisters, because her oldest sister, Lizzie, stayed backstage, organizing, planning, and making sure everything worked. Mattie, Piper, and Della had been the ones out in front, making the music and living the public life. At least, until Della split up their band four years ago.
“Mattie Cake!” Lizzie’s voice carried from inside the house out to the patio, a triumphant happy sound. She hovered in the doorway, looking country-girl beautiful in faded jeans and a turquoise top with her rich brown hair pulled back in a wavy ponytail.
“Lizzie!” Mattie jumped up and ran to her sister. They met in a flurry of arms and smiles and fell into a tight, fierce hug. “Missed you!”
“Missed you more. I don’t ever want to go a whole year without seeing you in person ever again. It’s too long.” Lizzie pulled back and looked Mattie over. “Oh my God, look at you. You got bangs! And I love that skirt. You look like an earth fairy. I had no idea you could get this tanned.”
Mattie flounced her hair and lifted her face to the sky. “The sun worships me.”
Lizzie laughed. “I don’t blame it. You actually glow like a goddess.”
“I’m just a girl who really loves her rooftop deck. You should come check it out while you’re in LA.” She grabbed her sister’s hand and stared at the flashy new ring that adorned a very special finger. “Video chat doesn’t do this thing justice. It’s perfect.”
Lizzie gazed at the ring with a secretive smile. “It really is.”
“Have you and Renic set a date?”
Lizzie’s eyes danced with amusement. “Four of them actually. Every time Renic picked a date, there was already an event planned, so I booked every weekend in June next year just in case. That gives me over a year to get it together. I’ll have to let some of the days go eventually but I wanted to get everyone’s schedules nailed down first.”
“Sounds like a solid plan to me. I’ll block the whole month too so I can come help you with all the fun prep stuff.”
“I’ll need all the help I can get.” Lizzie offered her a grateful smile. “I swear other people’s events have so much less pressure. The bride’s never look as frazzled as I feel.”
“That’s because they have you to plan for them.” Mattie let her go and gestured to the table. “I ordered chips and guacamole while we wait, and they make a great screwdriver. Or they have this new red thing with an umbrella that you might like.”
“Give me one of those,” a voice called out from the doorway.
They both spun and called out in unison. “Piper!”
Piper strode in wearing dark jeans, a plain white t-shirt, a denim jacket studded with rhinestones, and a cute derby hat. She looked like she was on her way to a biker convention or a country bar.
They fell into a group hug, giggling like kids. Mattie didn’t want to let them go, but eventually the server cleared his throat and they settled into chairs at the table. After drinks and more appetizers were ordered, Lizzie sat back with a look like she’d eaten a secret.
“What?” Mattie asked. “I know that face. What’s going on?”
Piper glanced back and forth between them, then settled on Lizzie. “Are you pregnant?”
Lizzie’s eyebrows rose a full inch, and the look of shock was so genuine that it made Mattie laugh. “What? No. No, I’m not pregnant. God no.”
Piper smirked. “Why the hell not? You’ve been together almost a year, might as well get cracking. Besides, you’d have gorgeous, talented kids.”
Lizzie shook her head. “No. We’re not ready for that. Maybe…no.”
Mattie studied her sister. She wouldn’t meet her eyes and kept glancing over her shoulder at the door. Something was definitely up.
Mattie’s stomach did another flip-flop. “Lizzie, is someone else joining us?”
The look of guilt that flashed over Lizzie’s face told her everything she needed to know.
“Is Renic coming?” Piper said. “I thought you said just us girls, but that’s fine. He can be one of the girls for a day.”
Piper popped a chip in her mouth and chewed, looking relaxed and carefree until she finally noticed how stiff Lizzie sat in her chair. Her chewing slowed to a stop. “It’s not Renic, is it.”
Lizzie looked down at her drink, then back up. “Please just hear me out before you freak.”
“Okay,” Piper said, drawing the word out. “You’re scaring me.”
Mattie glanced at the door. Nobody was there, but she knew any second someone would be. They were one sister short. “I thought we decided…”
Lizzie flashed her a pleading look. “It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together, and I miss you. All of you. I miss my family.”
“Me too.” Piper leaned forward with her elbows on the table. “We should do this more often. But that doesn’t explain the guilty eyes. Whatever it is, just spill it.”
Lizzie sat up a little straighter and tried to look casual. “I invited Della. She should be here any minute.”
Mattie closed her eyes. She should have known Lizzie would do that. There’d been something in her voice the day she called to suggest going to brunch. It was the same tone she’d used to get them to eat vegetables when they were kids.
Lizzie took a long swig of her cocktail and avoided making eye contact.
Piper crossed her arms and scowled. “What the hell did you do that for?”
“Because she’s our sister,” Lizzie said firmly. “She’s family. It’s been four years, and life’s too short to hold a grudge like this. Besides, were you expecting me to pick sides at my wedding? I want all my sisters there.”
Mattie took a deep breath and opened her eyes. “You’re right.”
“I know you—” Lizzie stopped, looking a little stunned. “I’m right?”
Mattie nodded. “Yes. It’s been too long. It’s okay.”
“No it’s not,” Piper said. “It’s not ever going to be okay until she grows the hell up and apologizes for being a selfish bitch.”
Lizzie turned a stony gaze on Piper. “Do you even answer the phone when she calls?”
Piper ground her teeth. “That’s not fair.”
“Hey…” Mattie held out a hand to stop them. “We haven’t been together in a long time. Can we please just try to enjoy it?”
Lizzie’s gaze softened. “I’m sorry, Mattie. You’re right. We’re here to have sister time, not to rehash old wounds.”
“I don’t see how we’ll avoid the rehash, especially if you-know-who is coming,” Piper said in a low, growly voice.
“Voldemort?” Mattie suggested brightly.
Piper stuck her tongue out at her. “Fine. Because I love you both and you asked me to, I’ll sit here and pretend to play nice.”
“That’s mature.” Mattie rolled her eyes.
Della bounced in wearing a flouncy yellow sundress and white flowers in her gold hair. She could have just stepped off stage or maybe a beauty pageant. She beamed at them all and held her arms out wide. “Sisters!”
Piper swore under her breath.
Mattie cringed. She could feel the air thicken with tension.
“Della!” Lizzie sprang up from her chair and wrapped Della in a warm hug .
Mattie heard them whispering but couldn’t make out what they said. She looked at Piper. Her sister’s face had turned into a thundercloud. Piper stared so hard at Della that Mattie wouldn’t have been surprised if Della’s head exploded.
Lizzie and Della finished their conversation and came back to the table. Lizzie sat and gestured to Della.
Della gripped the back of the last empty chair but didn’t sit. Her smile remained sunny, but there were lines of strain in the middle of her forehead. She looked at Mattie first, then her gaze drifted to Piper, where it lingered. “I know this is awkward. I know you weren’t expecting me to be here, and I know what you’re probably thinking, and I just want you to know this isn’t Lizzie’s fault.”
“Of course not,” Piper muttered. “Lizzie actually cares about other people’s feelings.” She drummed her fingers on the table, then looked up to meet Della’s gaze. “Why are you here? What do you want?”
Della’s smile fizzled. “I’m here because I wanted to see you. All of you. I…I miss you.”
Mattie’s heart melted a little. Maybe the separation had been just as hard on Della as it had been on the rest of them. Maybe her little sister was growing up.
Piper threw one arm over the back of her chair like she was in a bar. “Oh really? Why? I hear your solo career is going gangbusters. That tour you’re finishing up must have been a blast, what with all those strangers dancing around your every whim. Why would you need to see us?”
“Piper,” Lizzie snapped. “Let her talk. Please.”
Piper flicked a glance at Lizzie, then at Mattie. “You’re okay with this? You interested in what she has to say?”
Mattie pressed her lips together. It was as if they were right back in the greenroom, and the fight that started so many years ago was still going. Except it wasn’t years ago. It was today. She was four years older and wiser, and she hated fighting. She nodded.
“Fine. For you and Lizzie, I’ll listen.” Piper gestured with one lazy flick of her wrist. “Go ahead. Talk.”
Della flashed her a look of annoyance. “Thanks for your permission, Pipsqueak.”
Lizzie cleared her throat. “Della. Say what you came here to say.”
Della traced the back of the chair. “I came to say the song I wrote, you know, the bonus single? It was for you. All of you. I was hoping…I thought maybe…I mean, did you listen to it?” She bit her lip, the way she used to do as a child when she’d done something wrong.
Piper countered the plea in her sister’s voice with a cold retort. “Is this supposed to be an apology? Because if it is, it sucks.”
Mattie thought about the song. The words that had stuck with her were simple, direct, and filled with raw emotion.
Would you listen, would you hear me
If I said that I was sorry. I was wrong.
Mattie would have known the song was for them even if Lizzie hadn’t sent the backstage recording of Della performing it live. The meaning behind the words was clear to anyone who knew what was going on. It was part of what helped her push past the hurt she’d carried around for years. “It’s a really good song, Della.”
A grateful smile flittered across Della’s lips and vanished. “It’s okay. It would be better if you wrote it. You’re better with words.”
Mattie shook her head. “No, it wouldn’t. The story was yours to tell, not mine. You did great. ”
Piper pushed her chair away from the table. “Oh please. You’re really letting her off that easy? She writes one song and suddenly it’s all better? Does she even know what she did wrong?”
Della turned to Piper. “I screwed up, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I thought I needed…wanted…I went the wrong direction. I know that.”
“You still don’t get it.” Piper’s voice rose. “All these years later you still haven’t figured out that the part you got wrong has nothing to do with going solo and everything to do with you not talking to us about it first. ”
Mattie’s stomach twisted and churned. She was beginning to regret the Bloody Mary. The alcohol left a sour taste in her mouth, or maybe it was the family drama. Her own words came back to haunt her.
Nothing lasts forever, not even us .
She looked around the table, from Piper’s stony anger to Della’s desperate defensiveness to Lizzie’s pained patience, and wondered if this rift in her family would be the one thing that would last forever. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. Can we just calm down and talk like adults?”
“Let me finish. Please.” Della said. “I just wanted to tell you all that I was wrong, and you were right. I talked with Renic and told him you win. I want The Bellamy Sisters back together.”
Piper wrinkled her forehead. “I win? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“No. Not you.” Della’s nervous laugh sounded too high and sharp. She swept her arm from left to right as if including the whole patio. “All of you. Us. We all win, together. I want us together.”
Lizzie moaned softly and rubbed her temples. “Della, that’s not what we talked about. ”
“We…win.” The words repeated over and over in Mattie’s mind like a fire alarm rung by a crazed clown. “We win. We win?”
“Yeah, like we’ve all been playing a giant game of poker for the last four years, except all I remember is Della leaving us with a handful of crap.” Piper narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean you want The Bellamy Sisters back together?”
Della rolled her eyes. “I mean I want us to be us again.”
“We…win,” Mattie repeated, still stuck on the concept that they’d all just been playing a game for the last four years. “We win what?”
Della continued as if Mattie hadn’t said anything. “None of you wanted me to go solo and I’ve realized you were right. It was a bad call. So I told Renic I won’t do any more solo albums, and I want to get our band back together. Even the crew. As many as we can anyway. It’ll be great. We’ll all be happy, just like we used to be.”
Della’s announcement landed in front of Mattie with a loud, blood-rushing-in-the-ears thud.
She was aware of Piper and Lizzie talking, or shouting, but their words blurred together and became noise. Time expanded like a balloon while Mattie processed the words “you win.”
The day Della had announced she was going solo was one of the worst days of Mattie’s life, topped only by the deaths of her mother and father. Now Della flounced back into their lives as if no time at all had passed and nothing had gone wrong and it all had been just fun and games.
Her sister hadn’t grown up at all.
Something inside Mattie snapped.
She stood up so fast her chair tipped over. “No.”
All eyes turned to her.
Lizzie had a hand on Della’s arm as if she were trying to keep her from speaking, or leaving, or doing whatever it was Della most felt like doing.
“What?” Della asked.
“No. You’re not doing that to me—to us—again.” Once the words started tumbling out she couldn’t stop them, or the anger that bubbled out with them. Everything she’d thought that day, and every day since—everything she’d felt but hadn’t told anyone—came spilling out. “You ripped our lives apart and now you’re here trying to say, ‘Sorry, my bad,’ like that’s all it takes? You turned my life upside down, and you didn’t even ask me. Like my opinion didn’t matter. Like I didn’t matter. Do you have any idea what happened after that? Do you have any clue what I’ve faced since then? Do you even care?”
Della’s eyes widened, and her lips parted, but Mattie rushed on.
“I spent a year wondering what the hell to do with myself, with no energy to even try to write a song. You get that? It took me a damn year to get past that little stunt of yours. It took a lot of effort to find my feet and get my voice back, only to find myself facing a wall of assholes who thought the studio wrote the songs instead of me. I’ve spent the last two years building my career songwriter. I’ve finally started to gain some sort of reputation, not just as a Bellamy Babe but an honest-to-God talent. But you don’t know about any of that, do you, because you don’t give a shit about anyone else’s life. All you care about is yourself.”
Hot tears spilled down her cheeks. She brushed them away, but more took their place.
“Mattie—” Della said.
“You don’t get to waltz in here and demand we all jump like nothing happened. You wanted to live life on your terms. Well, guess what? When you dumped us, we all had to learn to live life on our own terms too, and I’ve learned that lesson really well. You think I’d hook my future to yours now and just hope you wouldn’t change your mind again? No, Della. You don’t get to un-ring that bell. For once in your spoiled life you have to live with the consequences of your decisions.”
“Mattie—” Della said. Her voice cracked, and her eyes widened as if she saw an oncoming train and couldn’t move out of the way.
“Save it.” Mattie picked up her purse with shaking hands. She brushed the tears off her cheeks again. She’d done enough crying over the years, and she was done with all of it. “You have to be the most selfish person on the entire planet if you thought you could just simper and bat your eyelashes at us and it would all be okay. It’s never, ever going to be okay that you ripped my heart out and didn’t even notice. I just…I’m done.”
Della’s face crumpled. She looked devastatingly pretty in the middle of the beautiful flower-filled space, like the tragic heroine of an old movie.
Mattie felt the tug of her sister’s distress, and for half a second concern replaced anger. Then anger came to her rescue and the urge to comfort Della vanished, replaced with bitter resolve.
Mattie stalked to the door, determined to get away from the pain, the hurt, and the sadness before they ripped yet another hole in her heart.
“Mattie,” Lizzie called. “Wait. Please…don’t leave.”
She turned back. “I’m sorry, Lizzie. I can’t do this.”
Mattie caught Piper’s eye. “See you later, okay?”
Piper looked stunned and a little proud. She touched her cap in salute and nodded.
Mattie brushed past the server and stormed out of the restaurant on a wave of fury, leaving absolute silence in her wake.