Chapter 4
Chapter Four
A dam arrived at the studio for his meeting with Mattie Bellamy an hour early and looked around, trying to see the place through the eyes of a stranger. From the outside, it looked like just another Los Angeles storefront on yet another tree-lined street not far from Griffith Park. The lobby was more entryway than proper waiting space, and as first impressions went, it was clean but plain. He’d insisted the cleaning crew come twice just to make sure it didn’t smell like stale french fries. He sniffed. The scent of vanilla and spice hung in the air. Perfect.
A hallway led from the lobby into the control room, which contained two large, overstuffed sofas, a couple of club chairs, plus all the latest equipment for mixing, effects, and recording. The walls were covered in acoustic tiles that gave the place a cave-like vibe. It was comfortable and reminded him of the band’s early days in his parents’ garage. His dad had never taken the tiles down, and most of their setup was still there, even though he still grumbled about it from time to time.
On the other side of the glass, the studio was big enough for the entire band, their equipment, plus a few extra microphones and odds and ends. Two large monitors hung in the corners to display lyrics or other notes about the song they were recording.
The spaces together were a little heavy on male influence, maybe, but overall he thought it would impress most people as a high-tech, professional place where serious music happened. They’d set it up years ago because renting someone else’s studio in Los Angeles was expensive and had too many strings attached. Plus, the songs came out better when they were in a place that felt like home.
Flynn and Brandon were already setting up the equipment, but LT and Cooper were nowhere to be seen.
Adam took out his phone and tapped out a text to them. Where R U?
He opened the door to the studio and stepped inside.
“Hey,” Brandon said without looking up. He played a few bars on the keyboards, tilted his head, then nodded. “Good to go here.”
Flynn ran through a quick test of the drum kit and grinned. “I don’t know. Think it’s good enough for her ? I mean, have we dusted every nook and cranny? Shined the metal bits? Do we have rose petals?”
Adam rolled his eyes. “Try to behave, okay? If we scare this one away, you’re stuck with whatever I wrote in high school.”
“We all know what that means,” Brandon said. His fingers danced over the keys, playing the melody to “Every Breath You Take” by The Police.
“Would you cut that out?” Adam flashed an irritated look at his brother. “I’ve never been that kind of guy.”
“Sure, bro. Sure.” Brandon kept his gaze down, but the song changed to “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick .
Flynn tapped out a ba-dum-bump and hit the cymbals for good measure.
Adam’s phone chimed. Cooper had responded. Caffeine and Carbs.
Hopefully, that meant LT was with him. He checked the time. Mattie would be here in thirty minutes.
He tapped out another quick message to Cooper and LT. Bring some for Mattie.
LT responded this time. Like what? Coffee? Tea? Red Bull?
Cooper responded, Balloons that say I Love You?
He shook his head. Ass. Coffee, tea, muffins.
Cooper sent, Leave the gun.
LT quickly responded, Take the cannoli.
Adam sent a flip-off emoji and went back out to the control room.
When the lobby doors opened he jumped to his feet, expecting to see Mattie. Instead, it was Cooper and LT with the provisions.
Cooper flashed him a knowing look and unloaded the bags of goodies onto the coffee table in front of the couch. “That’s not happiness to see us, is it?”
LT smirked. “That was definite disappointment in those baby browns. But here, a shot of caffeine will fix that.”
Adam took the offered cup. “Let’s get set up, okay? I want to make a good impression.”
Cooper took a sip from his own cup. “You sure you want to play ‘I Promise You’ for her? It’s still rough, man. Not our best work.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that song.” Adam checked his phone. Five minutes.
“Maybe we should just do a best hits album instead,” LT suggested. “That way we don’t have to write anything new. ”
“No, we need to move forward, not back.” Adam set down his cup. “Coop, can you queue up the tracks, please?”
“Sure thing.” Cooper sat down at the computer on the control board.
The lobby door opened.
They all swiveled to look down the hall.
Mattie Bellamy stood just inside the door, framed by the morning sun. Her gold hair was in loose waves that played with her bare shoulders. She wore a simple, flowing blue sundress made of material so thin the light silhouetted the soft curve of her breasts, the sensuous contours of her waist and hips, and the lean lines of her legs all the way down to sandals that were so flat she might as well have been barefoot. It left him with the impression that she was gloriously naked.
She was a radiant sun goddess who had obviously gotten lost on her way to the beach. The girl from his poster had turned into a woman so stunning it took his breath away.
“I get the obsession now,” Cooper whispered.
LT whistled a single high-pitched note. “She sure grew up, didn’t she?”
“Shut it, both of you. Get Brandon and Flynn out here, and pretend you’re all actually adults,” Adam told them in a low voice before he rushed to greet their guest of honor.
“Mattie,” Adam called out, hoping like hell she couldn’t hear the whispered comments that continued behind his back. His long strides couldn’t get him down the hallway fast enough. “Glad you could make it.”
Mattie held onto the strap of an enormous blue shoulder bag like it was filled with priceless artifacts.
He hadn’t realized how nervous he was to meet her until this moment. It was strange to see his fantasy standing there in the lobby as if it were an everyday thing. He smiled, held out his hand, and hoped like hell he sounded like the rock star he was supposed to be and not a breathless fan boy.
“I’m Adam. Brooks.” For crying out loud, he was stumbling over his own damn name. He took a deep breath. “Welcome to our studio.”
She shook his hand. Her grip was steel wrapped in sunshine, firm but warm. “Nice to meet you.”
He forced himself to let go of her hand and act cool. “Come on back, we’re about set up. I have coffee, tea, and I think muffins of some sort if you’re interested.”
“No, thanks.” She followed him down the short hallway into the control room. She stopped short when she saw the rest of the band huddled together casting furtive glances in their direction.
He wished he’d told them all to dress better. Cooper looked decent in a collared shirt and pressed jeans, but Flynn and Brandon wore board shorts, and LT might have just stepped out of a biker bar. All of them sported various tattoos and piercings. Flynn had full sleeves of ink. Hell, she probably thought they all looked like street thugs.
“Oh…everyone’s here,” Mattie said.
Adam caught a lot of Southern politeness in that short sentence. Mattie was poised and professional, and her face was carefully neutral while he made introductions. She might have just stepped into a board meeting instead of a creative session with musicians.
She was utterly at odds with the girl he’d imagined.
It unsettled him. It felt wrong, somehow. Like someone had caged a butterfly.
After the introductions, Mattie’s gaze lingered on the textured dark gray walls. “That’s cool. Very moody.”
She touched one of the tiles with a delicate hand, and her face went a little dreamy. For a second, he caught a glimpse of the girl he thought she could be. Then she lowered her hand. “Why don’t we skip all the small talk and jump right to it? Kat said you had a song you wanted me to hear?”
Small talk was exactly what he’d been hoping for, but Adam hid his disappointment behind commands. “Sure. Boys, let’s do this.”
Cooper handed a set of headphones to Mattie and pointed to the volume controls. She nodded and took a seat. Then they all filed into the studio, leaving Mattie watching them from behind the glass.
Adam stepped up to the microphone and waited for everyone to get into position.
Mattie’s gaze settled on him, and for a long moment it felt like they were the only two people in the building. He pictured her picking up a microphone and singing alongside him, flipping her hair the way she used to, that dazzling light in her eyes making her larger than life.
After the song, he’d take her to dinner. He’d hold her hand as they walked along the beach. Then they’d go back to his place, and she’d lay naked in his bed, and that cloud of gold hair would spill out around her all messy and sexy and utterly irresistible.
Mattie narrowed her eyes as if she sensed exactly what was going through his head.
He smiled at her, trying his best to look innocent.
She tilted her head and tapped the headphones for emphasis.
“Right.” He turned away to check on the guys. He had to get a grip. She obviously wasn’t the girl he’d put on a pedestal as a teenager. She was a woman who left broken hearts everywhere she went. He couldn’t reconcile what she seemed to be on stage with who she was here. It didn’t make sense. How could she write the songs she wrote and be this detached ?
Cooper watched him with a knowing look on his face. LT smirked at him, and Flynn outright laughed.
Adam huffed out an irritated breath. “Guys, count it down.”
Flynn’s grin broadened and he nodded. “Here we go in three…two…one…”
The intro started, and Adam drifted away from his thoughts and into the rhythm of the last song he’d written with Johnny J. It was different from their usual stuff. More introspective. They weren’t the heavy-hitting teens anymore. They’d grown up, and the song reflected that.
Adam kept his back to Mattie until it was time to sing the first verse. He turned, picked up the mic, and the words took over.
You were just a little sweet thing,
so much smaller than you might seem,
When I heard the news that stopped me in my tracks.
He let himself sink into the song until the studio disappeared.
I spent the next few hours swearing,
at the gods above, the
News I wish I never heard
could not be right,
We had to fight.
This would not be the end .
Movement caught his eye, and he saw Mattie waving at him.
He stopped singing. It took a few more bars for the guys to stop.
“What’s wrong?” Brandon asked.
“Not sure,” Adam said.
Mattie shook her head, removed the headphones, and opened the door.
“Adam, can I talk to you for a second?” She turned and walked back out.
Adam glanced at Cooper.
Cooper shrugged. “Told you it was rough, man.”
“That’s not it,” Adam said. “I’ll be right back. Try not to act like cavemen.”
“That’s just not fair,” Flynn said. “This is the cave. We are men. That makes us…”
Adam followed Mattie out and shut the door on whatever he said next. “What’s wrong?”
Mattie pressed her lips together, as if she were trying to keep words from slipping out. Finally, she huffed out a sigh and spoke. “The words are saying one thing, but the melody and, well you , are saying another. Did you write this song? What was the inspiration?”
Adam’s jaw tightened. He didn’t want to fight with her because he didn’t want to chase her away. But at the same time, what was she trying to say? That he was a lousy songwriter?
“I cowrote it with Johnny J, but the inspiration was his. It’s about his daughter, Trisha. She was diagnosed with leukemia last year.”
“Oh.” Mattie’s hand flew to her chest, and the stiff, professional mask dissolved. It made her look instantly younger. More real. “I’m so sorry. I thought it must be something like that. ”
Adam gestured at the couch. “Why are you asking? You didn’t like the lyrics?”
“No, no. It’s not that.” Mattie sat down and waited for him to join her. Then she turned her earnest, expressive eyes on him. “Okay, for this song to work you have to feel what he feels. You can’t just sing it like it’s about a breakup or fling or whatever, which is what it sounded like just then. The words are full of pain and fear, and you looked…I don’t know. Happy isn’t the right word. Determined, maybe. Anyway, it’s disjointed. And the beat is a little too fast. Try softening it a little. Really put yourself into his mind, you know? I mean, think about it. How would you feel if it was one of you who was diagnosed with something like that?”
Adam glanced through the glass at his brother. The guys were all laughing, probably at him. He imagined one of them missing, not in the way Johnny J was, but in a final, never-coming-back, can’t-email-or-call kind of way. He wasn’t sure the band could continue if they lost someone like that. “I’d feel horrible.”
Mattie nodded. “Right. So feel that. Then sing it. Here, let me show you what I mean.”
She stood up and led the way into the studio.
He followed, curious. He thought he had been putting those feelings into the words. The song echoed the heartache and terror Johnny J had felt when he heard about his little girl. The two of them had spent a long night drinking, talking, and writing this song. A couple of days later, Johnny J walked out. It was impossible not to think about that night whenever he sang it. How could he possibly put more feeling into it?
Mattie smiled at everyone and stepped up to one of the backup mics. “If you don’t mind, I’ll take the first, you take the second, and then we’ll hit the last bit together?”
“Sure.” Adam pulled the song up on one of the studio tablets and handed it to her, then nodded at Flynn. “Slower this time, okay?”
Flynn nodded and started them off again, about 3/4 time. The rest of them picked up the new pace, and the song took on a softer, more mellow undertone that hadn’t been there before.
When Mattie sang in her rich, high alto, her face transformed into the ethereal vision he remembered. She sang the first two lines with such intensity that he could hear exactly what she’d meant. He hadn’t allowed himself to sink that far into the song, because the truth was it brought him too close to tears. He didn’t want to cry in front of everyone over a song. It wasn’t his style.
When it was his turn, he tried to match her, but he could tell by the look on her face that he still wasn’t doing it right as far as she was concerned.
Then the second line hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, and suddenly he was with Johnny J in the doctor’s office, trying to comfort his little girl and his wife while feeling out of control himself.
He and Mattie sang the last two lines together, and it became a struggle to make it through. When they hit the end of the first verse, he stopped, expecting her to do the same, but she didn’t. She followed along with the lyrics on the tablet and kept singing. Her face turned dreamy, her voice filled the room, and he was transported to a concert where he was the audience of one and she was the only person on stage.
Sweet thing, I promise you
You’ll go running through the flower s
You’ll go dance away the hours
You’ll go out on dates, and get your first real kiss.
You’ll slide down a pile of rainbows
You’ll spend days in distant castles,
You’ll spend nighttime snuggled up with your best friends
We will make it through this darkness and come out
Stronger than we ever could pretend
Girl, I hope you understand
I won’t let it be the end.
Mattie punched every line with hopeful optimism, and they followed along with her, pushing the song into a celebration of life that left Adam feeling triumphant. He’d never noticed that about the lyrics before. That spirit belonged to Johnny’s little girl.
The fact that Mattie had picked up on it impressed him even more than her voice. The girl he’d crushed on was still there, and he was in the same room with her.
The song ended, and for a few seconds, everyone was silent.
“Wow.” Cooper stared at Mattie. “That’s…how’d you do that?”
“We’ve been working on this one for months.” Brandon hit a few notes. “We never got the sound like that. I like it slower.”
“It fits,” Flynn said. “Think I’ll change up some stuff. Go softer. It doesn’t need a lot of help.”
“Yeah, maybe we should take it the whole first verse with just the piano,” LT suggested. “Then push it more through the chorus.”
Adam turned to Mattie. “That was amazing.”
“Sometimes all you need is an outside perspective, that’s all. You almost had it there. I just added window dressing.” She smiled, and this time her eyes sparkled. “It’s a good song. It’s not exactly your usual style, though. Is the rest of the album like this?”
“Not exactly,” Adam said.
“We were trying to give this one an edge like the others, but it wasn’t working.” Brandon pounded out a few of the notes. “I think we’re having an identity crisis.”
“Speak for yourself,” Cooper said. “Just because you haven’t grown up yet doesn’t mean we’re in crisis.”
“Just because you were old before you were born doesn’t mean the rest of us have to act that way,” Flynn said.
“Guys.” Adam gave them his best settle-down-or-I’ll-end-you look, then turned to Mattie. “That’s the only soft one. The rest are more in line with our usual stuff. We can run through them for you.”
Mattie’s phone chimed. She tugged it out and checked a text. “Um, sure.”
She drifted out the door.
Adam watched her go, then turned to the band. They all looked as confused as he felt.
“Hang tight. I’ll be right back.”