Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
M attie could feel Adam’s stare, hot and intense, along the side of her face, and his words sent a little thrill through her chest. They barely knew each other, but they’d spent a lot of quality time together over the past couple of weeks, and she liked him. A lot.
There was more to know about Adam Brooks. She should find out all she could.
For the song.
It was only professional.
She let the thought roll around in her head.
There’s more to know.
Something about it felt good. It was a start, anyway. Her fingers itched for her notebook.
“Darn it.”
“What?” Adam asked.
“I just thought of a line I’d like to write down. But I can’t, because I didn’t bring my notebooks. I never should have left them behind.”
“What’s the line? I’ll help you remember it. ”
“There’s more to know.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”
“Yes. Why?”
He nodded. “Okay. There’s more to know. Got it.”
“I know, it doesn’t seem like anything. Yet.” She returned her gaze to the turtles. “It’s sad, don’t you think? The babies will never know their mother. They’ll pop out of those holes and have to make their way in the world alone.”
“Except for hundreds of brothers and sisters.” Adam scuffed the sand with his foot. “Your sisters make a huge difference, don’t they? You aren’t alone.”
“It’s not that simple. But I guess nothing ever is.”
“Family,” Adam said, as if that explained everything. “They can punch your buttons and trip your triggers. That’s for sure.”
She eyed him. “It’s just you and Brandon, right?”
“Yeah. Mom and Dad wanted a big family, but it didn’t work out.”
“I’m sorry.” She could feel the pain in that statement, even though it wasn’t his own.
He shrugged. “It is what it is. I try to compensate for the lack of siblings by making things a little easier for them. Not that Dad is all that willing to let me. I’ve been trying to buy them a new house, one that doesn’t need so much work. But every time Mom and I pick one out Dad finds something wrong with it.”
She thought about that. “Maybe your dad doesn’t want to move. Maybe he likes the house he has.”
Adam snorted. “The damn thing’s falling down around their ears. Mom’s anxious to move on to something new, but he’s a stubborn old fool.”
She suppressed a chuckle. Adam’s father wasn’t the only stubborn one in the family. “Maybe you should ask him about it. What if you just helped him fix up the house he has?”
Adam smiled. “Brandon said the same thing. He thinks we should renovate the house, then send them on yearly vacations. But Dad won’t go. He hasn’t retired yet. Not sure he ever will.”
“Why not? What does he do?”
“He works in the pressroom of the Los Angeles Daily Post . He’s been there almost thirty years, and I think he’s afraid of what comes next. You work your whole life, you know? You are what you do. Then suddenly you don’t do anything. Then what are you? You’re somebody who used to be someone who did something.”
His words sparked a torrent of ideas rushing through her thoughts. “Oh…oh dammit why didn’t I bring a notebook?”
The only thing she could use to write down any of it was the sand and her finger. She wrote keywords in the sand in sloppy scrawl.
What am I?
Afraid
Work
What’s next?
The words were soft and hard to read, and the wind pushed at the edges. This wasn’t going to work for long. “Do me a favor? Go see if Bayo has anything to write on?”
“On it.” Adam jogged away.
“Toilet paper and a pencil would work,” she called after him.
It took him a lot longer than she thought it should. By the time he came back, the sand all around her was covered in graffiti that she could barely read. If she didn’t get it all down soon, she’d lose it forever.
She looked up with expectation, but Adam’s hands were empty, and his expression was apologetic .
“Sorry, Mattie. There’s nothing to write with and the toilet paper is way too thin to write on.”
She swore under her breath, unable to hide the frustration. The song that bubbled somewhere in the sand slipped through her fingers every time the wind blew.
Adam took a step forward, but she waved him away. “Don’t move! You’ll erase it.”
He stopped with one foot in the air. “Erase what?”
She stared around at the scribbles in the sand. “I swear I’m never leaving my notebooks behind again. Do they make waterproof ones?”
“Not sure about waterproof paper, but I have an idea.” Adam shifted his feet away from the outer edges of her notes. “Let’s work it out right now.”
She stared up at him. “Now? Without writing it down?”
“If we put words to melody it will be easy to remember.”
“I’ve been taking notes my entire life. I don’t think I’ve ever tried to work on lyrics without writing them down.”
He grinned. “Take a walk on the wild side.”
It felt dangerous, but also oddly freeing. “Okay. Where do we start?”
Adam’s gaze traveled the sand divots all around her. “You tell me. I can’t read any of that.”
The wind kicked up and smoothed some of the edges of the words. If they didn’t act fast, it would all be gone. “Maybe the hook? The idea I had for it is all on this side.” She pointed right.
Adam narrowed his eyes at the area, then shook his head. “Tell me.”
“It’s circling around change, like the rest of the album. In this case, I was thinking about your dad. How you said he was afraid of what comes next. The idea of letting go of the past, or the past crumpling down around you. Being anxious to move on to something new, but unable to let go of the past. Something like that.”
Adam tapped his hand against his thigh, making a soft rhythm. “The past it haunts you, the future it taunts you.”
She grimaced. It wasn’t what she’d meant. She searched her mind for a way to make her intentions clearer. “Think about the turtles. They go through all that pain, all that work, just to leave it all behind. Your dad’s change is a lot like graduating high school, right? Except he feels like things are ending instead of beginning. It’s a perception shift.”
Adam looked thoughtful. “Yeah. He thinks if he quits work, he quits life. But he put life on hold, just to hold onto that job. It’s messed up.”
She looked down at all of her sandy notes. “So now we have to translate all this—going through all the pain of work, of life, only to leave it all behind to start again—into song number two. And we have to do it without writing it down.”
“No problem. We got this.” Adam nudged her shoulder with his. “Just tell me what you think Dad needs to hear.”
An ah-ha lightbulb went off in her head, sparking a surge of excitement. “That’s it! The last song was about change and how hard it is. This song should be about how it’s worth it to reach for that change. To take the next step. To…to…it’s…what would you tell him?”
She pointed to the section of notes she thought was relevant. “He’s been working hard his whole life. It’s who he is, and what he is. Then suddenly what he does is gone. Then what? What would you tell him?”
Adam tilted his head, frowned at the words she indicated, then shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess I’d tell him it’s not over. Life, I mean. It’s just a job. The job’s done, but life’s not. He can do what he wants, just like I did.”
Her heart filled with excitement and adrenaline. “ Yes! That’s it. It’s not over. Life’s not done. Just because the job is finished doesn’t mean your life is meaningless. The next step’s waiting. All you have to do is take it and you’ll make it more than you had before.”
She repeated some of it, whittling down the words to their essence, visualizing the piano in front of her and the beat underneath.
Hey
I know that it’s been rough
Things change around you
and man it’s tough
Your whole life you are what you do
Then comes the day your job is through
And all you have is what used to be.
But
There’s more…to…life.
Adam nodded along as she spoke. When she finished, he grinned. “Again. Over and over. Don’t stop.”
She started again. Halfway through, Adam started to hum a melody. At first, it was just notes here or there, but soon it was a complete tune that supported the words with an upbeat, victorious finish.
They sang together, repeating the lines dozens of times, adding in harmony to complement his melody. Adam beat his chest and the rock behind him to keep the rhythm, and by the end they were well on their way to song number two.
Mattie leapt to her feet and whirled around on top of the notes she’d made in the sand. She didn’t need them anymore, and it felt so good . “It’s perfect! Well, not perfect, not yet. But it will be, I can feel it.”
She flung her arms around Adam’s neck, so caught up in the euphoria of a song coming together that she acted without thinking. Her lips brushed his in an expression of the happiness the song inspired.
Adam went completely still.
She should move away. Kissing him was exactly what she was supposed to avoid doing. But she didn’t. She leaned into him and kissed him again.
Adam groaned, and his arms wrapped around her. His body was hot from sitting in the sun, and he smelled like sunscreen and coconut. He pulled her close and pressed his lips into hers, and she opened to him, exploring his tongue with delicate touches of her own.
It felt like waking up.
Her body came alive. Tremors shot through her stomach and sparked between her legs. She melted into him. She wanted more than just this kiss, she wanted all of him. She hadn’t realized how much until this moment.
“Adam,” a high-pitched voice full of irritation called out. “Mattie.”
Startled, Mattie pulled away. He let go of her immediately and turned toward the path the others had taken.
Mattie scrambled back and stumbled over her sandals. She managed to catch herself on the rock, skinning her palm in the process.
“Lunch is ready,” Tina said.
“Thanks.” Adam’s scowl was obvious to Mattie, but Tina seemed oblivious.
“Cooper says we can’t leave until you eat, so can we get going? The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get back—” Tina narrowed her eyes and glanced from Adam to Mattie and back again. “Did I interrupt something? You weren’t… ew , in the sand? It gets everywhere .”
Mattie’s cheeks burned. It felt like the time Dad had opened the door when Jimmy What’s-His-Name kissed her goodnight after her first date. She shouldn’t have kissed Adam. He was her client. They had a project to focus on, she didn’t want another Devon situation, and she’d promised Kat she’d be professional.
And he felt so good she wanted more.
Dammit.
“We’ll be right there,” Adam told Tina.
“Tina, what do you want to drink?” Cooper called out from somewhere behind his girlfriend.
“Whatever. One of those umbrella drinks. It doesn’t matter.” Tina rolled her eyes. “It’s not like they taste like much of anything but sugar.”
Cooper stepped into view and took Tina’s hand with his. “Come on, the food’s ready.”
“I’m not having anything now if we’re doing dinner later,” Tina said. “And those two are too busy getting down in the sand to eat.”
The amount of innuendo laced with sarcasm she managed to fit into that sentence was worthy of a five-star gossip columnist.
Cooper looked at Adam, and an entire unspoken conversation passed between them.
Mattie scrambled to get her sandals on and her. “I’m starving.”
“Right.” Cooper tugged on Tina’s hand. She fell into step beside him.
“I don’t know why anyone would want to do it in a sandpit full of turtles anyway.” Tina’s voice trailed off until they were blocked from view by the rocks.
Adam turned back to Mattie. His face was full of apology and passion, longing and regret.
Mattie closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” he said. “Mattie, look at me.”
She heard him move closer and put a hand up to stop him before anything else happened. “It’s not fair. To you, I mean. We can’t do this. Please. We have to stay focused on work.”
“Why?” Adam’s intimate tone would unravel her resolve if she let it. “What’s so wrong about one little kiss?”
She opened her eyes and looked up at him.
How could she make him see what had to be, when all she really wanted was another kiss, and then another, then more? She wanted what she shouldn’t have. It was island magic, nothing more than that.
It was the same thing Devon had done to her, only now she was the one doing it to Adam.
“It’s just the song, Adam. Nothing more. It’s not real.”