Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
T he next afternoon, Mattie walked hand in hand with Adam to the Big House for the songwriting session that should have taken place that morning.
“What are you smiling at?” Adam asked. He squeezed her hand.
“This.” She gestured at the scene in front of them. The ocean kept them company on the right, while the jungle of trees stood guard on the left. In front of them, Sunset Beach waited, empty, and above that the Big House kept watch. “This place is surreal. It’s such a shame this all has to end.”
“It doesn’t.”
Adam said it so matter-of-factly, it set off an alarm bell in her head. He had a way of taking random things she said and making them come true. His Adam moments became more elaborate the longer she knew him, so she could imagine how far he might take her innocent, off-handed comment.
She shook her head. “Be serious. This place must be over-the-top expensive. We can’t stay here forever.”
Adam glanced sideways at her. “Why not? What’s money for if not to spend it? What if we bought our own island that we never had to leave?”
She stopped walking to force him to really look at her. “You always have to leave, Adam. That’s the way life works. Nothing lasts forever. Especially paradise.”
He took both of her hands in his. “Paradise is always here. All we have to do is be there.”
He sounded so sure of himself. His gaze was full of promise and possibility, and the thought of it was so enticing that she let herself get lost in the idea that maybe this relaxed, happy feeling might last. It was like taking that first step off a cliff into a deep pool of water.
She lifted her face to his in open invitation.
His arms went around her and his lips found hers and she kissed him with all the wild feeling of joy that the island inspired every time she stepped outside her villa in the morning.
Two weeks. They had two more weeks of this utopia. The idea of it made giggles bubble up from her belly. She grinned against his lips.
“What are you laughing at?” He looked confused. “Did I tickle something?”
“Yes.” She beamed at him. “You tickle me. All the time. There are no barriers for you, are there? You really would buy an island just so you could romance a woman there any time you wanted.”
The look in his eyes told her he absolutely would, but before he could say it out loud the familiar hum of an electric motor sounded behind them.
They both turned.
LT pulled up next to them with a big grin on his face. “Good morning, oh wait, afternoon , you two. Want a ride?”
“Yes, please.” Mattie slid onto the back seat and patted it .
Adam took the hint and joined her in the back seat.
“So, how was the picnic?” LT drove up the path as fast as the little cart would go.
They could have walked faster, but she couldn’t bring herself to hurry, so she sat back and leaned against Adam. “It was really, really nice.”
Adam put his arm around her and squeezed. “We should go back there tonight.”
Mattie rolled her eyes. “Tonight we should get some actual sleep. We came here to write songs, remember?”
“Work, work, all the time.” LT threw his hands in the air. “What about love?”
A little thrill rushed through Mattie’s stomach as the word “love” reverberated around her head like one of those crazy choruses in a children’s song.
“No reason we can’t have both,” Adam said.
He squeezed her shoulders and kissed the side of her head.
Love .
They couldn’t possibly be in love. Not yet. They didn’t know each other at all, really. This was just a summer thing. It didn’t mean anything. She didn’t want it to mean anything.
Her heart fluttered. She took in a deep breath and tried to ignore it.
They caught up with Brandon and Flynn at the bottom of the stairs to the Big House.
“We should start at noon every day,” Brandon said. “I’d be much more creative.”
Flynn snorted. “You’d be much more awake, you mean.”
Mattie smiled fondly at them. “You two are clowns, you know that?”
“Yes,” Brandon said.
“Absolutely.” Flynn nodded. “It’s imperative that someone keep the crowd entertained. Adam’s way too serious for that. ”
Mattie laughed. “You aren’t fooling me, boys. I’ve seen you work, and I know you both have real passion for the music. We can start at noon if you don’t mind staying in session until midnight.”
Flynn wrinkled his nose. “No way. Nights are sacred.”
“Besides, seems to me you’ll be too busy…” Brandon trailed off when LT hit him on the shoulder.
“Shut it, you. Bro code. Sex talk is off limits.” LT took the stairs two at a time.
Mattie winked at Brandon. “It would be a shame to miss the stars. Maybe we could do an outdoor session. That would be fun.”
“Only if it’s private,” Adam muttered.
“We can be private later,” she whispered.
He flashed her a hungry look. “How much later?”
She shook her head. “Work first.”
Adam growled in a playful way as they climbed the stairs to the Big House.
When they reached the open living room, the boys headed straight for the kitchen. Cooper had arrived before the rest of them and was already sitting on one of the sofas, tuning his guitar.
“Slackers.” Cooper strummed a few chords, tilted his head, and hit one note over and over. “This string’s toast.”
Mattie crossed the room to give Cooper a kiss on the cheek. “Lanmou Bay was amazing. Thank you, Cooper.”
Adam leaned against the sofa. “Yeah, man. Thanks. It was cool.”
“I’m glad you two had a good time.”
Mattie sat down next to Cooper. “I’m sorry about Tina.”
Cooper nudged her shoulder with his. “Don’t be.”
“To be honest, what I meant was I’m sorry you had to put up with her. You deserve better. ”
Adam chuckled. “You really do. She was high maintenance, man. You need to get a better picker.”
Cooper gave them a wry smile. “Thanks. If you can let me know where to find that something better, that’d be great. Hey, Mattie, you have sisters. Any of them single?”
She shook her head in sympathy. “Lizzie’s taken. Piper’s single, but she’s too wrapped up in work to notice any man right now.”
“What about the dizzy one?” Cooper asked. “She seems like fun.”
“Della?” Mattie’s smile faltered. Della might be a good match for Cooper in a lot of ways. “I’m not sure. She probably has someone hanging around. She always does.”
Adam snorted. “Not sure you need another dizzy blonde anyway. Remember how Lana turned out?”
Cooper nodded. “Truth. Well, if you find your clone, Mattie, I’m all in.”
“I’ll keep my eyes open.”
She hated dating. All the awkward silences, the time spent eating with someone you didn’t know or like, the failed dates replayed on Twitter like some sort of reality show.
“So, we doing this or are we dissecting Cooper’s love life?” Flynn asked. “’Cause I’m happy to do either.”
Brandon took a seat on the stool behind the keyboards and played the Jeopardy! theme.
“That’s not helping,” Adam said. He crossed to the center of the room. “Mattie’s got a few new lines, but we need a filler, and then we need to cross to the verse. LT, you get anywhere last night?”
LT grimaced. “Nah. Malika had to go back to the main island. She slings drinks at a bar there every other week.”
“He meant with the bass line, jackass.” Brandon kicked LT’s foot .
“Oh…yeah. I was bored.” LT grinned and shrugged. “Think it’s pretty solid up to the break, but let’s play it through.”
“Okay, let me show you what we came up with last night,” Mattie said. She joined Adam in the middle of the room. “Brandon, can you play the opening for me?”
“Sure.” Brandon played the part of the song they’d already worked out.
It was the intro and lead-in to what normally would have been the first verse, but she wanted to play a little with it.
“Let’s try something new,” she said when he finished. “Let’s flip it and hit the hook first.”
She sang out the hook with the new lines she’d been inspired to write the night before.
It’s not over, life’s not done.
When one thing ends, another’s begun.
The future’s still…an open door.
She turned to face Adam so she could look into his eyes while she sang the new lines.
The moon is behind us, the stars set to guide us
So take the next step, and make what comes next
Better than before.
There’s more…to…life .
The music stopped after she sang the last word. Mattie smiled at Adam. He stared back, his crooked grin lighting his eyes in a way that made her blood rush a little faster. For a heartbeat or two, they were the only people in the room.
Flynn coughed. LT strummed a chord.
“Hey, Mattie, can you two stop doing that?” Brandon asked. “You’re looking at him like he’s a juicy piece of steak, and I don’t need that image of my brother in my head.”
Adam glared at Brandon.
Cooper picked up the melody on his guitar. “So you’re saying hook first, like this.”
Flynn bobbed his head up and down, then brought the beat in. Brandon added the keyboards, and by the time they’d run through it three times, LT had the backup instrumentals fleshed out.
Mattie kicked in harmony and let Adam take over the melody. He made it his own, adding runs and thrills that sent a shiver down her spine. When he sank into a song, he really put his whole soul into it.
The concentration on his face and the softness in his eyes pinched her heart. She knew he was picturing his dad in front of him as he sang the words. From what Adam had said, they had a complicated relationship, but he clearly loved his dad very much. There was a desperation behind the message she didn’t quite understand. She’d have to ask him about it sometime.
She rejected that idea almost immediately. Two weeks from now, they’d go their separate ways, and whatever his relationship with his father was wouldn’t be any of her business.
That thought made her a little sad, but she brushed it away to focus on the work in front of her .
When Adam finished the last line, the melody trailed off, leaving only the beat, which Flynn ended with a crash of cymbals.
“I like it. It’s got flash,” Flynn said. “We should speed it up.”
“Yeah, it’s a victory dance,” Brandon said. He played a few of the notes with a peppy bop.
“This reminds me of when we graduated,” LT said. “That whole what-are-we-going-to-do-next vibe.”
Cooper snorted. “We knew what we were doing next.”
Mattie pointed at them. “Yes, that’s exactly what we’re trying to say. That feeling of excitement, or anticipation. But it’s not just high school graduation.”
“It’s everything,” Adam said. “Every change. Every next step.”
“Like marriage?” Brandon asked. He stared at Adam when he said it.
“Not exactly,” Mattie brushed past the obvious hint. “Marriage isn’t an end like graduation is. It’s a beginning.”
“Sure it is,” Flynn said. “It’s the end of single life. Bachelorhood. Stagville.”
“It’s not a wedding song,” Adam said. He sounded a little abrupt. “It’s about retirement.”
“I agree, it’s not something people will play at weddings. At least, I don’t think they will,” Mattie said. “This isn’t a love song. It’s a rage against the dying of the light song.”
“Rage?” Flynn frowned. “You want an angry beat on this?”
Cooper laughed. “No, you savage. She’s talking about the Dylan Thomas poem. ‘Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night’? Something like that? Remember?”
Brandon tossed a chip at Flynn. “Fifth period English. We had to recite the damn thing. You acted it out by using the board as a drum. ”
Flynn shrugged. “I do that a lot.”
“Guys,” Adam said. “The point is this song is about life, not love.”
“Well, not exactly. It’s about loving life.” Mattie grinned. “All the phases of it.”
LT nodded. “I get it. It’s like when Johnny J left. Learning to move on. Embracing the new.”
Mattie beamed at him. “That’s it exactly.”
“Okay, so what’s the bridge?” LT asked.
She glanced at Adam. “I don’t know yet. Any ideas?”
They tossed words around all afternoon. Mattie finished one notebook and started another, but after a few hours trying to force it all to come together, she had to admit defeat for the day.
Adam took her hand as the session broke up. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”
“We’re running out of tomorrows,” Mattie said. A tiny dagger of pressure poked at her, like it always did when she was on deadline.
“Hey, that’s not what you’ve been saying all afternoon,” Brandon said.
“Yeah,” Flynn chimed in. “You said life’s not over. Don’t let those negative voices in your head tell you different now.”
“Truth.” LT nodded.
Mattie stilled. “Don’t let those voices…”
“I know that face,” Adam said. “Quick, hide her notebook.”
Mattie stuck her tongue out at him as she fished her notebook and pen out of her bag. “Let me get this down.”
“I know, before you forget,” Adam finished. He sounded patiently exasperated. “This could take a while, guys.”
Mattie sat on the sofa and wrote the line down, then studied it .
Don’t let those negative voices in your head tell you different now.
It wasn’t quite right, but there was something there. She scratched out words she thought were extra.
Those negative voices in your head
“Hmmm.” She chewed on the end of the pen, lost in that idea. That negative voice drummed along in her head all the time, especially if she was tired. But a new project usually made it fade to the background, at least for a little while. Everyone had that voice, didn’t they?
“I only have one voice in my head, and it sounds like my dad,” Adam murmured.
Mattie started and looked up from the notebook. Adam had joined her on the sofa at some point. Everyone else was gone, and they had the room to themselves. She hadn’t even heard them leave.
“Your dad?”
“Oh yeah. His voice is what drives me most of the time. ‘You can’t pay the bills living a dream, son.’ ‘Music don’t pay the rent.’ ‘Your hobby won’t get you nowhere.’” Adam spread his arms along the back of the sofa. “He was wrong. I’ve spent my life proving that. Still, he’s in my head.”
“You went after your dream, even though he was against it.” Mattie doodled squiggly ivy around the phrase she’d written. “What about your mom? Was she a fan of a steady paycheck too?”
Adam put a hand on her back and rubbed. It was so soothing she leaned into his touch, enjoying the way he felt through the thin fabric of her dress .
“My mom gave me my first guitar and my first microphone. She’s much more of a free spirit.”
“So you get the love of music from your mother.”
“And my grandfather. He played every Saturday night at a small club in Memphis. Blues and rockabilly.” Adam’s hand traveled farther down her back, sending a little thrill up her spine. “He had a really cool vibe. Laid back, but not sleepy, you know?”
“You have some of that too. But with more edge. Maybe because you’re younger.”
He massaged her neck and her insides melted. “Oh that feels so good.”
“I can think of something else that would feel even better.”
Her smile deepened, and nerves tingled in all the most interesting places in anticipation. “Show me.”