CHAPTER TWO | Ben
CHAPTER TWO
Ben
B en squinted as he sped along the Main Street sidewalk, the blazing sun glaring into his eyes. He loathed having to leave his apartment, especially when he was supposed to be working and he’d awoke with a strong desire to avoid interacting with anyone. Ben was most comfortable when he was alone in front of his computer with nothing but scrolling lines of code in front of him. He was decidedly uncomfortable with having to interact with other people, especially anyone who didn’t understand his gruff nature and general lack of pleasantness, which was pretty much anyone other than his mom. In fact, anytime he had to go into the office in Hartford, his coworkers would get offended that he didn’t want to join in for group lunches, happy hour, or any of the other myriad of team building activities that everyone else seemed to enjoy.
Ben was a loner and he liked it that way. Mostly . It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the company of other people, they just never seemed to really enjoy his. Ben was always a bit anxious in groups and even one-on-one, never knowing what to say or how to act, and always inadvertently annoying the people around him with the fact that he would barely talk at all. The judgement that followed his actions or lack thereof was the reason he shied away from other people. He knew they saw him as a stoic, sometimes surly individual, and he didn’t bother to try and exceed their expectations. Keeping to himself saved him the trouble, though it did make for a lonely existence.
Ben huffed as he walked, the unseasonably warm weather making sweat trickle down his neck. The dapple of moisture at his collar was just another irritation on top of his having to run out of the house for something as silly as grabbing a washer for his leaking sink. The damned thing was messing with his concentration and if he had listened to the drip, drip, dripping for another minute, he would have gone crazy. A new washer necessitated a visit to the closest hardware store, which meant a drive to downtown Sunset Cove and dealing with the general population. Thinking about the inevitable chit-chat that he would have to participate in at the customer service counter as he made his purchase caused his palms to sweat and his skin to feel three sizes too small.
The good people of Callahan Hardware were always so polite and seemed to actually enjoy engaging in conversation with their customers. Ben shuddered at the thought. He wasn’t the most cheerful person on a good day, and having to make small talk made his already sour mood worsen. The grumpy persona that defined Ben hadn’t always been there, but after his father passed away when he was almost three years old, he became a little quieter, a little sadder, and a lot less willing to get close to others.
His father’s death had been sudden and unexpected. After serving with the Albany Police Department without incident for almost fifteen years, Frank Williams was caught in a shootout with the perpetrator of a home invasion. Ben didn’t remember much of his father beyond the odd sense that he looked up to the man, but he did have plenty of memories of hearing his mother crying nearly every night after he passed.
That didn’t last forever, though. In fact, his mother started dating again while Ben was in kindergarten. Ben’s mother always spoke fondly of her marriage to his father, even going so far as to call him the love of her life. A snort of incredulity escaped him as he thought about that. If his dad was the love of her life, why did his mom have a long line of failed relationships that dated back to when he was five years old? His mother always talked about love like it was the most amazing thing in the world, something so completely life-changing that you should pursue it before anything else. She loved love, so maybe all those other relationships were her attempt to recapture what she’d had with his dad.
Ben didn’t want to think too much about it, not sharing her opinion in the slightest. Eventually, every one of her boyfriends had left and his mom simply moved on to the next one like they were as interchangeable as light bulbs or car batteries. To his mom, they might have been unmemorable or even disposable, but to Ben they had been a lifeline, someone he could understand and relate to on a different level than he could with her. However, after the fourth or fifth boyfriend exited his life, Ben stopped trying to get close to any of them, shutting himself off and turning to his computers for company.
As if he had summoned her with his thoughts, Ben felt his phone buzz, his mom’s name flashing across his screen. While he contemplated sending it to voicemail so he could get the stupid washer and get back to work, his desire to make sure she was alright outweighed his desire to be productive. She had always been there for him, so at the very least, Ben could take her call.
Pushing his way through a group of women bustling into the coffee shop, Ben stepped away from the sidewalk and into a small alley to escape the noise. “Hey, mom. What’s up?”
“Benny!” his mother called out excitedly. Ben wasn’t a huge fan of his childhood nickname, but she always said it with such love and affection that he couldn’t bring himself to tell her to stop using it. “I have such great news. Are you sitting down?”
Ben’s eyes rolled to the sky as he gathered the shredded remains of his patience. “No, I’m standing, but go ahead and tell me anyway.” His mom’s great news was never anything he would consider that exciting or life altering, and even though he may be a mostly silent grump to just about everyone else, he tried to never act that way with his mom.
His mother squealed like a schoolgirl. “Oh, Benny. Something amazing has happened. Marvin proposed!”
“Who’s Marvin?” Ben’s brow pulled into an all too familiar furrow as he filed through his memory banks. “I thought you were dating a guy named Ron.”
Keeping track of his mother’s boyfriends was a full-time job, one that Ben didn’t need or want. After he graduated from NYU and moved to Connecticut, he hadn’t met more than one or two of them. Why bother when they wouldn’t be around long enough for anything serious to happen? Now she was supposedly engaged, so perhaps he should have been paying closer attention to his mom’s romantic life.
Bright laughter cut through his musings. “Oh no, sweetie. I haven’t been with Ron in over a year, but Marvin and I have been dating for a few months now, and he thought it was about time we got serious.” Involuntarily or perhaps out of habit, Ben sighed audibly at this information and his mom picked up on it. “Now, Benny. You know how important it is to have love in your life, and I am really excited about this. Please be happy for me.”
“I am, I promise.” Ben was glad his mom sounded happy, but like all her relationships before this one, it would end and she would be back in the same place she was before—alone. Even though he knew better, Ben would at least try to pretend for her. “So, are you guys doing Vegas, or the courthouse? Something easy like that? Just tell me where to show up and I’ll be there.” Hopefully this Marvin person wanted a small ceremony and not a big to-do where Ben would have to deal with a bunch of strangers, or god forbid, make some kind of speech.
His mom tutted; the sound very reminiscent of when she discovered he’d traded his lunch money for computer games. “Oh no, we aren’t doing either of those things. It’s been so long since I had a wedding, and I really want to do something special and romantic.”
Of course, she did . Ben should have known better than to expect his fanciful mother to do the practical thing. “What does that mean?” He pushed down the sense of dread that had started to bubble up in his chest, hoping by some miracle he had misunderstood her.
“What do you think it means, Benny?” His mother chuckled at his ineptitude, unaware that he was beginning to spiral at the prospect of making idle chit-chat with a group of well-wishers for hours on end. “We’re going to do a nice ceremony with guests and cake and dancing. The whole she-bang!”
He choked on the groan that threatened to escape from his throat, swallowing down the bitter pill of his current reality. “I see,” he ground out between clenched teeth. That sounded like a potentially large social event and Ben grabbed at the collar of his button-down shirt and gave it a tug, suddenly feeling even more overheated than he had before. “So, when can I expect this event to take place?”
Any hope that he would have ample time to prepare himself for what was to come vanished with her next words. “Oh, soon if we can swing it. There is so much to do. I was thinking t it might be a good idea for me to hire a wedding planner to help with all the details. Do you know of any near you?”
Ben almost laughed. He knew exactly one person outside of his coworkers and that was Henry Baker, a man who’d befriended him while playing online, striking up a conversation with Ben while they teamed up to take out a horde of plague-ridden villagers. They had worked well together, and Henry wasn’t overly chatty, an attribute Ben appreciated immensely, and while they mostly interacted online, they occasionally went running or to grab a slice of pizza. Ben didn’t know much about Henry other than he was an accountant, had two sisters, one of which was his twin, and that his family owned a bakery downtown.
Ben shook his head and came back to the question at hand. “No, I don’t know any wedding planners, mom. Why don’t you try to find someone in New Haven?” Ben’s mom had moved to the college town once he had settled in Sunset Cove, wanting to be closer to him.
His mother sighed indulgently. “No, I want to look for someone near you since you’ll be helping me with all of the planning.”
If Ben had been drinking at that moment, he would have done a spit take. “W-what? I don’t know anything about weddings. Won’t Marshall want to help plan his own wedding?”
He couldn’t imagine why his mother wanted his help. Ben was useless when it came to lovey-dovey romantic stuff because he had never been that kind of person. Relationships were an entanglement he wasn’t interested in, sticking to meaningless hook-ups with someone on Tinder on the few occasions he went to Hartford for work, and over the last year even those had become too much trouble for him.
“It’s Marvin, honey, and he’ll be there, too.” Ben felt a prick of guilt at already having forgotten the man’s name and vowed to do better. “Benny, this is really important to me. I think this one really has a chance of working out, and I want you there with me to help make sure I don’t do anything to screw it up.”
Hearing his mother admit that broke Ben’s heart. “You won’t do anything to screw it up, mom.” Ben sucked in a deep breath and did his best to quell her worries along with his own. “I have a good feeling about this one, too.” It was a bald-faced lie, but it was better than spewing more of his pessimism.
“Uh-huh,” his mom said skeptically. She could tell he was full of crap, but she didn’t call him out on it. “Even so, I want you there with me. Please?”
Ben’s mom had always been there for him, so he figured he could suck it up and be there for her, even if his chest was tight and shoulders were up to his ears just thinking about it. “Okay. Just tell me when and where to show up for all the planning stuff and I’ll be there.” He couldn’t imagine a bigger waste of his time, but if it made his mom happy, he would do it.
“Yay! Thank you so much, Benny.” He could hear clapping through the speaker and her joy cracked the icy surface of his heart for just a moment. “You are the best son ever. Now, I need to go find that planner. Love you, honey.”
“Love you too, mom,” he replied before ending the call.
Ugh ! He was going to have to interact with some wedding planner and florists and caterers. Ben rubbed at the pain that had flared up in his chest again, wondering if twenty-eight was too young to have a heart attack. Ideally, he would just sit next to his mom and offer her his opinion when she asked for it. She was quite the social butterfly, so she probably wouldn’t have an issue with him saying next to nothing. Ben pulled up the sleeve of his coat and glanced at his watch. The phone call with his mom had taken more time than he’d expected and he needed to rush over to the hardware store and get back to work.
Pushing his way out of the alleyway and back onto the sidewalk, Ben doubled his pace in an effort to get the washer for his sink as quickly as possible. He was barreling down the sidewalk so quickly that by the time he saw the woman in front of him, it was too late.
“Oof,” she grunted as her body tumbled away from his. Ben instinctively grasped her arms and held on to her as tightly as he could so she stayed upright, not wanting the guilt or inconvenience should she hit the concrete.
After he was sure they were stable, Ben glanced down at the woman he was holding onto, the long, chocolate brown waves that cascaded from the top of her head currently obscuring her face. His eyes trailed down her body to assess any damage, and in doing so, he noticed her rather alluring form. She was on the taller side, but still shorter than his six-foot-two inches, the perfect height for kissing without developing a crick in his neck. Shaken, he flung the thought away immediately, unsure why it had occurred in the first place. Most of her body was hidden under her large coat, but Ben got a glimpse of toned legs peeking out from beneath it, his body reacting strongly to even that brief look.
Ben winced and tried to quell the need building low in his belly, causing his dick to plump with interest. Was this another sign of heart damage? Probably a side effect of living like a monk for too long . Mentally penciling in an extra workout to release whatever pent-up hormones were causing his lapse into romantic whimsy and sexual attraction, he brought his eyes back up to face her, his lungs seizing at the sight before him.
The curtain of her hair had parted, giving Ben an unobstructed view of someone so beautiful he had to blink rapidly for a moment to be sure she was real. The woman’s fair, heart shaped face was like that of an angel, an innocence about her he wasn’t normally drawn to but couldn’t seem to look away from. Her doe eyes were as blue as the sky above them and her lips, which were currently forming a small ‘O’ of surprise, were lush and rosy.
The lips shifted into a smile, and Ben was once again wondering about heart attacks because seeing this woman’s dazzling smile and adorable dimples caused the organ to beat roughly against his ribs, like it was trying to burst from his chest just to get closer to her. The woman was simply staring and smiling at him and he was feeling warm and a little bit fuzzy in the brain. Her presence was as comforting as it was infuriating. Ben didn’t feel things like this and he needed to get his washer and get home so he could recharge because something was clearly wrong with him.
Ben felt the skin of his brow tightening along with everything else on his body. He’d been away from home for too long and between navigating the crowds of people and dealing with his mom’s revelation, everything was being thrown out of whack. Ben dropped his hands from her arms and stepped back, immediately missing the feeling of her body next to his and the smell of flowers that seemed to emanate from her. He never missed being close to anyone which in itself was more proof that something was wrong and he needed to leave.
“You should really watch where you’re going,” he told her. His voice was rough with some kind of emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
The woman nodded obligingly before shaking her head in confusion, her face pinching adorably. “Wait, what? I’m sorry if I wasn’t paying as much attention to what I was doing, but you were also walking crazy fast, so I would say the fault is mutual. But hey, no worries.” Ben watched as she reached into a white paper bag and presented him a lump of brown clay. “Brownie?”
Despite her being nothing but polite, Ben scowled at her and grumbled, “I don’t do sweets.” The Junior Mints that currently resided in his pantry and the ice cream he ate as a post workout snack last night proved otherwise, but he needed this interaction to end, and taking a brownie from this woman could lead to more conversation and possibly more alarming and unfamiliar feelings.
“Really?” Her expression filled with curiosity the longer she looked at him. “That’s a shame because these are the best brownies ever. My sister makes them and they are just the right amount of fudgy.” He watched as she took a bite of the brownie in her hand and licked the crumbs from her plump lips. The movement of her pink tongue gliding across them was doing strange things to him, but Ben couldn’t make himself look away from her. “Are you sure you don’t want one? They might help with the whole grumpy thing you’ve got going on right now.”
“I’m not grumpy,” he barked at her defensively. He didn’t mean to say it so vehemently, but he was completely thrown off by the bizarre energy this woman was throwing around. He needed to get out of there. “Look, just watch where you’re going, okay?” Brushing past her, he stalked off toward the hardware store, eager to leave her and every feeling she conjured up behind him.
What was that? Ben absently rubbed at his chest, making a mental note to check his blood pressure and schedule a doctor’s appointment. For the entire rest of the walk to the hardware store he could not stop thinking about the woman he ran into, or the feelings she’d stirred within him. If he didn’t know any better, he would call it love at first sight , but that was impossible, especially for someone like him who didn’t even believe it was a real phenomenon. Spying the bench outside the store, he plopped down, resting his head in his hands. His body felt weary and oddly energized at the same time, and as he tried to regain his composure, two questions turned over in his mind. What are these strange feelings? And how can I get rid of them?