CHAPTER TWELVE | Holly
CHAPTER TWELVE
Holly
B urger and fries in one hand and fingers tangled with Ben’s in the other, Holly ascended the staircase to her apartment, singing out a line she’d never once in her life used the moment they stepped inside. “Henry, I’m home.” Hoping she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt, Holly glanced around the clearly empty apartment, both dismayed and relieved at her brother’s absence. Turning to Ben she shrugged her shoulders. “I guess he’s not here.”
“Pity.” With the grin on his face, Ben’s words rang hollow, but Holly was just as excited to have a little one-on-one time with the man, nerves be damned.
Getting to know more about Ben, deepening the bond she already felt with him would be the best way to help her feel better about more physical contact between them, and she wanted that. After their kiss on the sidewalk, she wanted a lot more, but that barrier of always wondering what the hell she was even doing was still firmly in place. Hopefully, a little more knowledge about who Ben was underneath his somewhat gruff exterior would help with that.
“Should we eat?” At Ben’s nod, Holly ditched her coat and took their food to the coffee table, pulling out the fatty burgers and salty fries with a smile on her face. “I’m surprised you went for the double bacon cheeseburger. You don’t exactly look like a guy who likes to indulge.” Her eyes flicked to his body, and for a moment, she wished she had x-ray vision because she was certain what lay beneath the sweaters and slacks was a sight to behold.
Ben chuckled and took the seat next to her, the brush of his thighs against her only ramping her desire up further. “I exercise to reduce stress, not keep my body looking a certain way.” He leaned over and took a large bite of his burger, his eyes meeting hers as he chewed. My, god. The way he devoured that one bite was giving her all kinds of ideas, and as he licked the juices from his lips, Holly shifted on the sofa, needing a bit of breathing room before she asked him to taste her next. “When it comes to things I enjoy, I can actually be quite voracious.”
Holly gulped. “That so?” She could already imagine him devouring certain parts of her body, and as Ben leaned closer, she was tempted to let him start with her lips. “The bands!”
Ben huffed a laugh, looking far less discombobulated by their proximity than she had. “You want to listen to the bands right now?”
Holly nodded absently and shot up from her seat to set up the videos on the TV screen. She could be bold with a kiss, but with so many spicy images flooding her brain, she wasn’t sure it would stop there and her lack of experience had her retreating into her comfort zone. Would it be so bad if you just let go? Probably not nearly as bad as she’d built it up in her mind, but she couldn’t help it if her body and her brain were at odds with one another, especially with Mister Hot and Tempting in the same room.
“You should pay close attention,” she suggested. “You could always recommend one of the bands to your mom.”
At the mention of his mother, Ben’s expression sobered and he leaned back on the sofa, popping a French fry into his mouth. “Good idea.” Holly rejoined him, putting at least half a foot of space between their bodies as she tried to pay attention to the first band on the screen, her own meal forgotten in the wake of a new hunger filling her core. “Who are these guys?”
Holly smiled at the slight scorn in his voice. “They call themselves Vibe Tribe, and mostly do rhythm and blues covers.”
The band started playing Mariah Carey’s Touch My Body and while they failed to capture the woman’s ability to command a song, the lyrics rang out loud and clear, enough to have Holly’s mind taking another trip down what if lane. What if she just let loose and went with what her body wanted? Holly was a woman who loved love and had since she was a little girl. How could you not when you had parents as infatuated with one another as Holly’s were, but there was more to relationships than that.
As the band continued to play, she felt her body drift closer to Ben’s until their arms were touching, her skin feeling hotter and tighter the longer they sat and listened to the music. Of course, the next song the band played was Marvin Gaye, and whether it was the words Let’s Get it On, or Ben reaching over and slipping his hand under hers, Holly couldn’t stand to not be kissing him anymore.
She turned to Ben, her eyes flicking to his shiny lips. “Can I—”
“God, yes.”
Lips crashed against hers as strong hands flew into her hair. Holly whimpered, her own hands finding their way onto Ben’s chest and pulling him impossibly closer. She wasn’t unfamiliar with want, even taking care of her own needs when necessary, but this was that dialed up to eleven. She wanted hands touching, limbs tangling, tongues tasting. She wanted everything and she wanted it all from him. Fingers twisting in his sweater, Holly tugged until they were horizontal, Ben’s hard body pressing her into the soft cushions.
Their lips met again, his tongue finding its way into her mouth and wrestling with her own, the kiss becoming increasingly feverish until Ben’s thumb slipped under her shirt. Holly froze, the waves of desire she’d let crash over her pushing her back to the surface where she remembered who she was and what she wanted.
Ben broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers, the expression on his face so pained that she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for having let things go farther than she was clearly ready for. “I’m sorry, Holly. You said you wanted slow and I kind of hit the gas pedal, huh?”
She chuckled nervously as he climbed off her, straightening his rumpled sweater and smiling apologetically. “Maybe, but I think I waved the green flag first.” Ben sighed and Holly paused the video that had moved onto a horrendous trio of clarinet players. “I’m not trying to send mixed signals.”
Ben’s hand found hers and he griped it tightly. “You’re not. You were clear about what you wanted and you’re always allowed to change that at any moment.” He nodded to the screen. “Maybe we both got a little caught up in the music.”
Holly laughed because that had definitely been part of it, but it was mostly her attraction to him. “Probably shouldn’t go with them for your mom’s wedding then.”
Ben shuddered at the thought. “Absolutely not.” His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her. “How about we pause the bands and finish our meal. This was supposed to be about getting to know each other better, so how about we do exactly that?”
“Sounds great.” Now that her hunger for Ben had been tamed a bit, Holly’s stomach protested its lack of contents. Grabbing a fry, she popped it into her mouth, trying to think of the perfect question for starting small. “I’ll go first. What would the name of your wedding band be?”
Ben barked a laugh and scratched his jaw. “Um, let me see. I don’t listen to a ton of music honestly, but I’ve always had a soft spot for those 80s hair bands.” He took another bite of his burger as he continued to think. “Sun-bleached?” Holly giggled slightly as she pictured Ben with a bright yellow wig. “What about you?”
Holly grabbed her own now-cold burger and took a bite, thinking over what kind of band encapsulated everything she felt about love. “I don’t know.” Swallowing, she felt slightly dismayed at her own lack of creativity. “I guess it would be less about the name for me and more about only playing the kind of songs you can slow dance to.”
Ben nudged her with his knee. “A wedding planner obsessed with romance? Color me shocked.”
Holly nudged him back. “It kind of comes with the territory. I mean, you wouldn’t want someone who didn’t believe in love to plan the happiest day of your life, just like people probably don’t like video games designed by people who don’t really play them.”
“Fair enough, and you’re right, I do like to think about the player’s experience when I’m working, even if what I’m doing isn’t necessarily directly related to that.” He studied her for a long moment as he ate another fry, Holly keeping her eyes glued to his, lest she be swept up in thoughts of kissing him again. “Do you do the same thing? Picture yourself in the bride or groom’s shoes as you help them plan?”
It was a great question, one that Holly had never really pondered until then. “Actually, I don’t think I do.” She smiled at his raised brow, happy that he was actually taking an interest in her business outside of what he’d been forced to participate in by his mom. “For me, it’s more about guiding them on a path until they find exactly what will work for them. Every bride, every groom is different, so I can’t really put myself in their shoes, only help them find the right ones. Does that make sense?”
The analogy seemed like a good one in her head, but the longer Ben stayed silent, the more Holly wondered if it was completely lost on him. “It makes a lot of sense.” He reached over and laced their fingers together. “You're a happy person, so it seems right that you would spend your days helping other people find their joy.”
Holly squeezed his hand. “I’m not always happy.” She grabbed a fry and waved it at him. “If I hadn’t started eating, I probably would have gotten fairly unbearable.”
Ben smiled and pushed the rest of the fries closer to her. “Note to self: keep Holly fed.”
She smiled, but it faltered at the sound of the door opening. “Hey.” Henry dropped his keys on the entry table and moved toward them, his eyes snagging on their joined hands. “What are you guys up to?”
Ben pulled away, Holly feeling the loss of his warm touch and a slight blow to her happiness at the same time. “We were checking out some bands for my mom’s wedding.”
Henry’s eyes darted to the paused screen and back to them. “Cool.” He shrugged and leaned over to grab a few fries, ignoring Holly glaring daggers at him. “Don’t let me interrupt.” Her brother munched as he went into his bedroom, unfortunately leaving the door wide open.
Ben’s eyes moved from Henry’s room back to her. “I should probably head out.” Mood sufficiently killed, Holly nodded and walked Ben to the door, wanting more than anything to give him a goodnight kiss, but not with the lack of privacy. Ben smiled and brushed his soft lips against her cheek. “Talk to you later, sunshine.” With a wink, he sauntered down the stairs, Holly’s eyes glued to his retreating form until she heard her brother’s voice next to her.
“I didn’t mean for him to leave.”
Holly speared her brother with a knowing look. “Didn’t you?” She walked back to the couch to clean up the remnants of the meal she’d hoped would have lasted a while longer. “You left your door wide open like you were Dad or something.”
Henry sighed, his expression serious as he met her gaze. “I wasn’t trying to go all parental on you.” Holly gave him another silent stare down and he raised his hands in supplication. “Okay, maybe I was a little. Ben is my friend, and he’s a good guy, but you’re all sunshine and puppies and rainbows and he’s just...not. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Holly sighed, appreciating her twin’s perspective, especially given that it was the same as her own until very recently. “I understand that, and I know you did what you did because you care, but maybe I don’t need rainbows all the time. I think someone who’s a little more pragmatic might actually be good for me, keep me grounded.” That’s exactly what she felt with Ben, grounded, but not weighed down. More like she was safe to be her usual sunny self, but that someone would be there to hold her when she inevitably encountered a dark cloud.
Henry nodded. “Okay. I’ll butt out, just promise me you’ll be careful, for both yours and Ben’s sake.”
Holly smirked. “Afraid you’ll lose the only friend you have?”
Henry scoffed. “He’s hardly my only friend, but you’re right that I don’t want to lose him. More than that though, I don’t want him getting hurt either.”
Hurting Ben didn’t seem like something she was capable of, but Holly knew there was a tender heart under all that bluster, one she intended to keep as safe as possible. “I’ll try my hardest not to.”
Grabbing the rest of her burger, Henry stuffed it into his mouth. “Good,” he mumbled, taking the fries and escaping into his room once again.
Holly rolled her eyes at the walking garbage disposal that was her brother and headed into her own room, hoping that Ben intended to keep her heart as safe as she’d just promised to keep his.