CHAPTER 46 Ainsley Bradley
Playdate
Desi Nash: Hey, you around to come over here for a playdate today?
Dex never came home last night.
I have no idea where he was all night. No idea if he was with another woman, or if he was out making stupid decisions, or any one of a million other horrible things that have run through my mind today, but there aren’t any headlines with his name in them this morning, so at least he was discreet with whatever he did.
I don’t have any other plans, and I need to get out of this penthouse before I go crazy…even though my senses are tingling at the timing of Desi’s invitation.
Me: Yes, and we’d love to.
Desi: Great! Jake is usually up from his morning nap by 11 and goes back down by 3. Does that window work for you?
Me: Sure! Jack gets up around 11:30, so we’ll come by around noon. I can bring lunch!
Desi: You don’t have to do that! I have an entire salad bar in my fridge from meal prepping. We can just dig into that.
Me: Sounds perfect. See you at noon!
I project an enthusiasm with my exclamation points that I don’t really feel in my heart.
I’m excited for a playdate, sure. But it’s for his kid with the wife of one of his friends.
My entire life in this town is so entwined with who he is that it’s barely been twelve hours since I took off that ring, and I’m already struggling to figure out where the hell I might land in all of this.
How do I even stay here in this town where so much of who I am is wrapped up in him? And furthermore, how do I film the reunion show in three weeks when the whole point of Dex even bringing up a fake marriage was so I’d have something to throw in Jordan’s face?
I guess we need to have a conversation about what this means going forward. We’re supposed to attend a charity event in a couple weeks, for example. Are we still going to that?
It shouldn’t be this hard. I shouldn’t be this sad.
None of this feels right, to be honest. We haven’t been together long enough for me to feel this broken. And yet, somehow…I do.
Jack is up, so I feed him his breakfast, and we take a nice walk to the park. We walk back home, and I assume I won’t hear from Dex until after practice at the earliest. And then I’ll hit him with all my questions, starting with the most important one: Are we still faking this marriage in public?
After Jack’s nap, I feed him lunch before I pack him up in the car and we head to Desi’s.
I ring the bell, and her brows pinch together when she spots me standing on the other side of the door.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Is it that obvious?”
She chuckles. “Well, Asher told me you and Dex are having problems, but he didn’t seem to know anything else.”
I’m not sure how much to say. I don’t know who’s my friend or who’s his or who I can trust in this town. But I need someone to talk to, and she invited me here so the boys could play together, and I guess this is my best option for someone to talk to.
“Can I trust you?” I ask.
Her eyes whip to mine, and she looks nearly insulted by my question. If she is, she doesn’t mention it. “Of course. Anything you say to me stays with me.”
“I should probably make you sign the same NDA Dex made our families sign, but whatever. Our marriage started out as an arrangement, but it turned into something else. Something more. Something real. And then last night, I was forced to end things with him, but I’m in this for the duration of our contract, and I’m Jack’s nanny, and I have to live with Dex when I love him so much but can’t be with him, and I just want to go home.
” I realize how very much I’m babbling by the end, but I can’t seem to stop until the entire story is out.
“Oh, gosh, Ains,” she says, and she moves toward me to give me a hug. The squeeze feels comforting, and I draw in a shaky breath as I do my best to ward off the tears.
“I’m so sorry,” she says. And then, instead of asking what she can do to help, she jumps into action.
“Listen, Dex asked Asher if he could stay with us the next few days. Why don’t you leave Jack here, too, and go home for a while?
I’ll watch him, and maybe time apart and away from this town will help you figure out what your next move should be. ”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” I murmur.
She reaches over and squeezes my forearm. “I know. It’s why I offered.”
“You’re a good friend.” I pat her hand on my arm.
“And you’re going through a hard time. If you miss home and feel the need to be there, I’m simply opening up the option to make that happen.”
“I’ll think about it,” I say softly. It’s so easy for all of these people to just jet off to another town to get away from things for a while.
My entire life, I’ve never had the money to do that sort of thing, and it feels strange that I do now.
I’m not quite used to it yet, and I’m still living frugally even though my bank account is growing every two weeks thanks to Dex’s generous paychecks.
I can dip into that and go see my family for a few days.
But I’m not as sure how to get home to Chicago and avoid seeing Ivy.
I’m not ready to admit that things got pretty damn real between her brother and me…
especially not now that it’s all over. She’s my best friend, though.
She’s who I would talk to about any guy trouble, and that doesn’t preclude her big, dumb brother.
The boys play, and we chat. She slips something about how she’s already starting to show, and I find out she’s due in February with her second child.
I hate that I love her as much as I do since he’ll win this couple in our split. He works with her husband. Of course they’ll side with him. It makes sense that their allegiance will lie with him.
The boys go down for a nap at the same time, around three o’clock, and we keep talking right through naptime.
It feels good to have someone to chat with even if there is likely no future to this friendship. But blabbing my secrets would hurt Dex, her husband’s teammate, so I feel like there’s a bit of inherent trust there.
The boys both wake, and we’re doing some tummy time when Desi gasps.
“Jakey Jakey!” she sings. “Daddy’s home!”
My brows dip. “He is?”
She giggles. “I can hear the garage when it opens.” And thirty seconds later, the door opens.
My heart starts to beat in double time as I realize Dex is probably with Asher. I didn’t mean to stay this late knowing there was a chance I’d run into him, but here I am.
“Hey, there’s my family!” Asher says when he walks into the room.
“Da da da da,” Jake babbles, and he holds his arms up in the cutest way to indicate his dad should pick him up.
Desi gets up off the floor to greet Asher with a kiss, and I spot Dex behind him but avert my eyes to Jack so I don’t have to make eye contact with him.
God, this is complicated.
Dex gets a little too close as he moves in to greet his son. He picks him up and hugs him, and then he asks, “Ains, can we talk?”
“You can go upstairs and leave Jack down here if you want some privacy,” Desi says.
He sets Jack back on the play mat where he was having his tummy time, and he holds out a hand to me to help me up.
I don’t take it. I can get up myself, and it’s like taking a symbolic stand that I can manage on my own, thank you very much.
“First door on the right upstairs,” Asher says to Dex, who nods.
I follow him up the stairs, and we turn into the room Asher just mentioned.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly once the door is closed behind us.
“I have some questions, starting with where the hell you were last night.” I fold my arms over my chest and brace myself for some snide answer about how it’s none of my business.
“That’s fair. I went to a club, drank myself stupid, went to a VIP lounge that’s not my father’s, got into some trouble, got rescued from getting into more trouble, and woke up in my coach’s guest room this morning,” he says.
At least there weren’t any other women, I guess.
“What else do you want to know?” he asks.
I lift a shoulder. “I don’t know. How are we managing this mess? Are we still attending events together? Still pretending to be married? What do I say on the reunion show?”
He closes his eyes and lets out a soft breath, and when he opens his eyes, they’re dark with sincerity. “I realized how stupid I was, and I want to turn things around, Ains. I don’t want to lose you. It was a fight, that’s all. It’s not the end.”
“Then how come it is?” I whisper.
“What can I do to get you back?”
“Nothing. It’s over,” I say.
“There has to be something.” He tugs on the ends of his hair, and I’m glad he’s putting up a fight for this. It feels like he cares.
But that doesn’t change what split us apart in the first place.
“I’ve thought it through, and I can’t be with you if you’re putting us in danger. So unless you give up the lounge, which I know you can’t…well, then it’s over.”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “You know I can’t.”
I press my lips together and nod. I knew that would be his answer, and honestly, there’s something to be said for his loyalty.
I just wish his loyalty wasn’t entirely to the wrong entity.
“Desi said she’d watch Jack for a few days.
I’m going to head home and see my family while we sort through this. I’ll be back on Monday,” I say.
He blows out a breath. “At the reunion, you say you’re married to me. That was always the plan. It’s why we did it in the first place. It doesn’t have to change now just because our circumstances have.”
“Okay. Then I guess I’ll see you Monday.”
“Yeah,” he says quietly, and I walk out of the bedroom without a goodbye.