Play It Sinful (Players of Hannaford U #3)

1. Sean

CHAPTER 1

SEAN

FOURTEEN YEARS AGO

I ’m having the best day. I just scored my first hat trick ever, and I can’t wait to celebrate after the game with my friends. Dad always takes us out for pizza.

Then I remember he isn’t here today. He’s out of town on a business trip. When I look at the stands and don’t see Mom, my disappointment is complete. She promised she’d come. I should have known it was all a lie. She isn’t like the other hockey moms, who come to every practice and game.

I’m still feeling down when I walk out of the locker room with my best friend, Devon. He’s also my neighbor, and we’ve been friends since he moved into the house next door two years ago. He’s clueless about my mood though. I’ve gotten good at hiding my feelings.

“That last shot was sick!” he says.

“Thanks. I got lucky.”

“No way. It was skills. The best part was seeing the look on that stupid goalie’s face.”

“Devon! Language,” his mother says as she approaches us. Mrs. Connelly is a typical hockey mom. She doesn’t miss a single practice or game, and she volunteers to chaperone whenever we have games out of town. Sometimes I wish she was my mother, and then I feel guilty for thinking that.

“Sorry, Mom. But did you see what Sean did?” Devon throws an arm around my shoulder.

Her expression softens. “I sure did. Congratulations, honey.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Connelly.”

“Your mother texted me. She’s stuck in traffic and asked me to give you a lift home.”

I shrug. “Okay.”

“Oh, can Sean come over and play video games?”

“I suppose if his mother isn’t home by the time we get there... sure. But I’ll check with her first.”

“She’s gonna say yes,” I reply with certainty. Mom doesn’t care much about what I do, as long as I don’t annoy her.

M om doesn’t say yes, and that’s a real bummer. I was looking forward to a video game sesh with Devon. But she’s back from her errands and asks me to come straight home.

“Mom, why can’t I play with Devon?” I ask the moment I walk into the house.

“Come into the living room, Sean. We need to have a talk.”

My stomach tightens. Her tone is serious. Did she find my old lunch box under my bed? I start to sweat. But when I see my sister sitting on the couch, looking bored, the fear squeezing my heart lets go. I don’t think this is about my secret.

“What’s going on? Are we in trouble?” I ask.

Mom shakes her head. “Oh no, sweetie. This isn’t about anything you or Kenzie have done. I just have news.”

The worry returns and eats at my insides. If this isn’t about Kenzie or me, then I can guess what Mom’s going to say. She’s leaving Dad.

I sit next to Kenzie on the couch and hold her hand. Mom is already sitting on the chair opposite the couch. She’s only a year younger than me, and at seven, she rarely lets me comfort her anymore. But today, she doesn’t pull her hand away. It’s like she can sense Mom has bad news.

Mom takes a sharp breath, squaring her shoulders. “You father and I have decided to separate.”

“What? No,” Kenzie whimpers.

“It’s for the best, sweetie. Your father and I don’t get along anymore, and we believe it’s better for the entire family if we don’t try to force a situation that isn’t working.”

“Why isn’t Dad here?” I ask.

Mom clenches her jaw and swallows hard. “He thought going on a business trip was more important than giving you the news.”

Bitterness pools in my mouth. Dad’s constant work trips are one of the reasons for their many fights. But Mom could have waited until he got back. A few more days wouldn’t change anything.

“I don’t want you to get a divorce,” Kenzie says, already crying.

“Come here, hon.” Mom opens her arms, and Kenzie runs into them.

I feel numb. I knew this was coming, so I’ve been preparing myself for it. Our parents fight all the time, and once I heard Dad say he had fallen out of love with Mom years ago. It’s better if they get a divorce.

But I’m not ready for what Mom says next.

“You’ll love, London. It’s the most beautiful city in the world!”

My throat becomes tight. “London? What are you talking about?”

“I’m moving back to London, and I’d like you both to come with me.”

Kenzie pulls back and looks at Mom. “What about, Dad? When will we see him?”

Mom cups her face. “You can visit him in the summer.”

I feel sick.

“I’m not moving!” I jump from the couch and run up the stairs.

Mom calls my name, but I ignore her. My heart is beating so loudly in my chest that I think it’s going to burst from it. I go straight to my room and lock the door. But that isn’t enough. I need to hide away... disappear. I grab the old lunchbox I keep hidden under my bed and bring it into my walk-in closet, then shut that door too.

It’s almost pitch-black inside. Barely any light comes through the cracks around the door. But I don’t need to see. I can go by touch. My pulse is pounding in my ears when I take out the switch blade from the box. It was a gift from Grandpa when I joined the Boy Scouts last year. Little did he know I wouldn’t be using it to cut cords or twigs. I found out what else you could do with a knife from a video on YouTube.

I press the cold blade against the underside of my forearm and steel myself. My chest feels heavy, but when the sharp sting of the first cut comes, I can breathe again.