7. Ashley
CHAPTER 7
ASHLEY
S ean has been blowing up my phone for a week now. He called, left voice messages, and sent an endless string of texts. I didn’t reply to any of them. I don’t know what he wants me to say. I’m livid that he was responsible for those mind-blowing orgasms. He wasn’t only sexy as hell, but he was charming and attentive. Those are qualities he never showed me, which only makes me more pissed. He isn’t a twenty-four-seven asshole. That special treatment is reserved only for me.
I’m determined to put that colossal mistake behind me, and schoolwork helps. My classes are demanding, and if I lose focus and fall behind, it’ll be a bitch to catch up. The added stress would normally give me anxiety but, thanks to my new art classes, I’m able to get that under control. Doing anything creative with my hands centers me. My favorite mediums are oil on canvas and pottery. Both are super messy, and my clothes are suffering for it.
I was lucky to bump into Blair Westwood on my way out of the party. She’s in one of my classes. I didn’t make the connection that she was Ryder’s younger sister until she mentioned him in the car. I’m happy that afterwards, Scarlett and Kadence didn’t ask me too many questions. I guess they’re just as overwhelmed with their academic load as I am, and gossiping isn’t their priority. If they asked for details, I’d have to lie to them, because there’s no way I can tell them about Sean. That secret I’ll take to the grave.
This morning, I went the art supply store, which is paradise. I have art studio class twice a week, and I need to start working on my term project ASAP.
Chris wasn’t happy when I applied for the arts program at Hannaford U, and naturally, Mom was on his side. He doesn’t believe anyone can make real money from art. It didn’t help my case that I’m not sure yet what I want to do with my art degree. As a compromise, I agreed to pursue a double major and added a business degree to my academics. It’s more stress, but now I don’t feel guilty about spending Chris’s money buying all the art supplies.
When I park in front of my dorm building, it's clear that I’ll need more than one trip to bring everything up to my room. Since my roommate hasn’t been around the whole week, and most of her stuff is gone, I can only assume she moved in with her boyfriend. I can put all my new stuff on her side of the room. If she shows up, I’ll have to rethink my storage situation, but for now, I won’t worry about it.
I grab all the bags first, since they’re on top. The easel and canvases I’ll get next.
I’m about to turn around when I sense someone behind me. The campus is relatively safe, and it’s morning, but I’m a petite woman, so I don’t take my chances. I pivot fast, ready to use my heavy shopping bags as weapons.
“Hey.” Sean smiles.
My heart jumps to my throat. “What the hell, Sean?”
His smile vanishes. “What did I do now?”
“You scared the shit out of me.” My heart has returned to its place, but it’s beating much faster now, and my face is warm. Not only was I not expecting to be ambushed by him, but I also wasn’t expecting him to look this good. I’ve always been aware that he’s attractive, but now I can’t control how my body reacts to him. This is annoying.
“Sorry. Do you need any help?”
If he were anyone else I know, I’d gladly accept. “No thanks. How did you find me?”
“It wasn’t that hard. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“No shit.”
“Avoiding me won’t change anything.”
I narrow my eyes. “It might not change the past, but it’ll make it easier to forget. I don’t know why you want to talk to me so badly.”
He runs his fingers through his hair. “If you had picked up your phone, you’d know. Come on, Ash. I promise I’ll leave you alone if you give me five minutes.”
Ash . He’s never called me by my nickname before. It does something to my insides, turning them all mushy. Ugh. I’m an idiot. He’s not going to give up. I might as well use him for something.
“Fine. I suppose you can help bring everything to my room. Then you can have your five minutes.”
He grins victoriously, and I get the sudden urge to wipe that smug smile off his face. He has that expression any time he gets the best of me, and I hate it.
He looks inside my trunk and whistles. “Did you buy the entire art supply store?”
I snort. “I wish.”
“How come you have enough room for all this? My dorm room is small as fuck.” He stacks the easel and the big canvases, then lifts his load with extreme ease.
“Well, I guess I’m lucky.”
I lock the car and veer for my building, not waiting for Sean. Naturally, he catches up with me in seconds. We don’t speak, and the silence becomes even heavier during the short elevator trip. I already regret agreeing to let him help me. There’s nothing for it now but to get it over with as fast as possible.
In the hallway, we cross paths with a group of freshmen girls who don’t miss Sean next to me.
“Hey, you’re on the hockey team, right?” one of them asks.
“Yep.”
“You must be so excited. The Warriors are the best.” The brunette in the middle twirls a lock of her hair around her finger.
Gag me.
Sean has always been popular, but witnessing girls flirt with him after his dick was deep in my throat makes me nauseous and angry.
“I’m stoked. It’s a dream come true,” he replies, grinning from ear to ear.
Jerkface.
“We can’t wait to see you play,” the third girl in the group pipes up.
I can’t take this shit anymore. If Sean wants to flirt with his fan club, he can do it alone. I resume my trek to my room.
“Sorry, ladies. I have to go,” Sean says.
“Oh my God. Do you think that was his girlfriend?” one of the girls asks, not bothering to lower her voice.
“I hope not. He’s too good-looking to be off the market already.”
Don’t say anything, Ash. Don’t say anything.
Unfortunately, the chanting doesn’t stop my tongue. I turn around and say, “Keep dreaming, girlies. He’s way out of your league.”
Sean widens his eyes, then curls his lips into a crooked grin. Hell. I shouldn’t have said anything to those idiots. I open my dorm room fast and disappear inside.
“So I’m out of their league, huh?” He laughs.
“Shut up.” I drop the bags on the floor, trying to avoid eye contact.
“Man, your room is so...”
Here we go. He’s going to say something mean. “So what?” I snap.
“ Bare . I’m surprised. Aren’t all art majors into colorful shit?”
I glower at him. “Way to put me into a stereotypical box, Sean. I could also ask aren’t all jocks supposed to be stupid?”
His brows furrow, and I don’t know if he’s embarrassed or angry. I quickly look away again.
“I’m sorry I said anything. Where do you want me to put these?”
“You can set them on the bed.” I point at my roommate’s side of the room.
“You don’t have a roommate?” he asks.
“Officially, yes, but she spends most of her time at her boyfriend’s place.”
“Damn. You are lucky.”
I still don’t look at him. I’m nervous, and my entire body is shaking. I shouldn’t have agreed to let Sean come to my room. The small space feels even tinier with him inside.
I walk to the window, giving my back to him. “Your five minutes are running.”
“Ash, it’s hard to have a conversation when you won’t even look at me.”
“Stop calling me Ash,” I grit out.
“I will if you turn around.”
With a heavy sigh, I turn, and our eyes meet. My stomach tightens, and my pulse accelerates. He’s looking at me as if he’s seeing the girl from the masquerade party, not the stepsister he loves to piss off.
“I’m waiting,” I croak.
“I… shit. I thought I knew what I wanted to say.”
I cross my arms. “Oh my God, Sean. Is this another of your stupid jokes?”
“It’s not a joke. You’ve been on my mind the entire week. I feel horrible about how we left things. I went after you, you know?”
My brows arch. “You did?”
“Yeah. I was worried. Then I found out you left the party with Ryder’s sister, which eased some of my concern, but not all of it.”
“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine,” I lie. I’m the opposite of fine. I can’t believe my voice didn’t come out all high and squeaky.
Sean doesn’t speak for a couple beats while he stares at me as if he wants to read my mind. Finally, he replies, “I’m not. I thought I was, but being here with you… I’m conflicted.”
My heart beats so fast, I can almost hear it pounding against my ribcage. “Conflicted about what?”
He steps forward, invading my personal space. I should move—being this close to him is proving dangerous. My breathing is shallow already.
“About how I want to kiss you again.”
My lips part automatically, and my gaze drops to his mouth.
Maybe he sees that as an invitation. Leaning forward, he cups my cheek. “Tell me to stop.”
“No.”
“Why are you always so difficult?”
“Shut up and kiss me already.”
His hand slides to the back of my head before he slants his mouth over mine. I hold on to his shirt, twisting the fabric while pulling him closer. His tongue is as hungry and addictive as I remember. My pulse is thundering in my ears, drowning out the voice telling me this is wrong. I shouldn’t be enjoying Sean’s kiss. But my body disagrees. I’m falling apart in his arms.
“Oh shit. I’m so sorry,” a female voice says.
Sean jumps back, startled. He turns and says, “You must be Ash’s roommate.”
I’m still in shock, and all I can do is watch him shake hands with Tallulah. I don’t know if I should be glad for her interruption, or mad as hell. In the end, annoyance wins. She’s been gone all week, why did she have to show up now ?
“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you today,” I say.
“Oh, I just came by to grab some clothes. I’ll be out of your hair shortly.”
“Don’t stress. I have to go,” Sean replies. “It was nice to meet you.”
She narrows her eyes. “Hey, aren’t you on the hockey team?”
“Yeah, I’m?—”
“I thought you were already late.” I start pushing Sean toward the door. “Thanks for helping me.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“I’ll call you later,” I say before I shut the door in his face.
I feel horrible, but I can’t let my roommate know who Sean is. It’ll be too easy for her to figure out he’s my stepbrother.
“You didn’t have to get rid of your boyfriend on my account.”
I shake my head. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s a distraction, and I have lots to do today.”
She smiles knowingly. “Oh, I know all about distractions. But don’t let academics get in the way of good times.”
“No doubt, no doubt.”
Shit. Why I’m speaking like Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99?
I start unpacking my art supplies, but it’s to keep busy. I can’t believe I kissed Sean again, and this time, I don’t have an excuse. I simply wanted him. What’s wrong with me?
A few minutes later, I receive a text message from him.
SEAN: I’m sorry about what happened.
ME: We were both to blame.
He starts typing, but the message never comes through. Fuck. It means he was going to say something but changed his mind. After a minute of me watching dots appear and disappear, his message finally arrives.
SEAN: We can’t do this again. It’s best if we stay out of each other’s way.
My stomach drops through the earth. Are you fucking kidding me? He came on to me , and now he’s bailing. That’s such a Sean thing to do. Just like he wouldn’t take responsibility for starting that fight at the bonfire when we were younger.
ME: Agree. Best idea your stupid brain ever had.
SEAN: Was that supposed to be a burn?
Jackass. I’m tempted to reply, but by some miracle, I’m able to exert self-control. Ghosting is a much better response.