17. Sean
CHAPTER 17
SEAN
A shley has a mild sprain, and it will take a couple weeks to heal. The ER doctor gave her a brace for her ankle and some pain meds. They weren’t strong enough to make her spew nonsense, but they made her drowsy. She fell asleep on the way to her dorm, and when I park the car by her building, I take a moment to stare at her. She looks so peaceful and vulnerable. I become overwhelmed with a need to protect her, just like when I heard her scream on the trail. Until I found out what happened to her, I had my heart in my throat.
My stomach tightens, and I feel a pang in my chest. I don’t know why these emotions are suddenly taking root, or why I can’t get her out of my head. Twice now I tried to stay away and convince myself I could forget this obsession, but all it took was being in her presence for my resolution to crumble. It doesn’t make any sense. I truly don’t know her. I never tried to, because I was too busy antagonizing her.
Staring at her like a creep while she sleeps won’t give me clarity, though. I shake her lightly. “Ash, wake up. We’re here.”
“Uh?” She blinks her eyes open. “Where are we?”
“We’re at your dorm. Come on. You probably want to sleep in your own bed.”
“Yeah, sleep is good.”
I get out of the car and walk around the front to open the door for her. She doesn’t move a muscle, so I lean inside, bringing my face inches from hers. “If you don’t get your pretty tush out of the car, I’ll be forced to carry you all the way to your room... damsel-in-distress style.”
“Just confess you want to hold me close to your chest.”
I drop my gaze to her lips, and the craving for her kiss comes with a vengeance. “That’s not a lie.”
She pushes me back. “Whatever. Call your library buddy if you want a warm body to get cozy with.”
Yeah. I knew she didn’t like seeing me with Margot, just like I didn’t enjoy watching her with Ryder. We’ve definitely crossed into dangerous territory.
“Enough talking. Come on. It’s one o’clock already and I’m starving.”
“Ugh. Fine.” She tosses her legs out of the car and stands, ignoring my helping hand. “If you get the crutches for me, you can go.”
I grab the crutches from the trunk, but when I give them to her, I say, “I’m walking you to your dorm room.”
“You don’t need to babysit me.”
“I know, but I want to.”
She glowers. “It’s always about what you want, isn’t it, Sean?”
I wince. Am I acting like an asshole here?
“Of course not. What do you want, Ash?”
She doesn’t answer for a couple beats, but she doesn’t break eye contact either. “Honestly, Sean... I don’t know what I want. But if you’re so keen to walk me to my dorm room, then be my guest.”
I step back to give her space to maneuver her crutches. They usually take a minute to get used to, but Ashley finds her pace quickly. “Have you used crutches before?”
“Yeah. I sprained my left ankle junior year.” She takes a couple of steps forward, then she blurts out, “Shoot. I forgot my backpack in the car.”
“I’ll get it.” When I return to her side with it, she extends her hand, and I give her a droll look. “I can carry your backpack, Ash. Stop being so difficult.”
“Ugh. Fine. I wish they gave me stronger meds to account for you being a pain in my ass.”
“Ha ha. You’re hilarious.”
We don’t speak on the way to her room, and we also don’t bump into anyone we know, which is a welcome reprieve. I’m not in the mood for small talk.
“I need my keys. They’re in the outside pocket,” she tells me.
I fish out a heavy keychain with several keys dangling from it, and frown. “Why do you have so many keys?”
“Because.” She takes the key chain from me and unlocks the door.
Even though she doesn’t invite me, I follow her inside. The mountain of things on her roommate’s bed keeps getting higher. It’s mostly art supplies—canvases, paints, brushes, and sketchbooks—all organized neatly on the mattress. The walls remain bare though, save for the small lights above Ashley’s bed.
“So you’re really living on your own now, right?”
“Pretty much.” Ashley props her crutches against her desk and sits on her bed.
“Where do you want this?” I hold her backpack by the straps.
“You can set it on my desk.”
The silence that follows is heavy. I walked her here, now what?
You should go, dumbass.
That’d be the wise thing to do. It’s clear Ashley doesn’t want me around. But I can’t make my feet move.
“I’m sorry about the library incident,” I blurt out, then look at her.
Her eyes round, and her lips open. “Which part?”
“What?”
“Which part are you sorry about? The fact that you lied to everyone, or that I caught you on the lie?”
I run my fingers through my hair. “I didn’t lie. Practice changed to the afternoon, so I headed to the library to study.”
Ashley snorts. “It didn’t look like you were doing a lot of studying.”
She’s jealous, and that ignites a spark in my chest. “That was me being a dumbass. I’m sorry I ghosted you after. I’m having a hard time with this.”
“ This ?” Her brows furrow. “Explain this .”
She’s watching me as if she wants to read my mind. I feel exposed. I don’t want her to guess what’s running through my head. I step closer, then drop to my knees and nudge her legs apart. Ashley doesn’t fight me, and her breathing becomes shallow.
“Do you want the honest truth?”
“Of course.”
“You’re consuming my thoughts, and I hate it. I thought that I could fuck you out of my system, but the more I taste you, the more I want you.”
She runs her fingers through my hair, pushing the strands back. “I don’t want to want you either.”
My heart skips a beat, then takes off at supersonic speed. “So we’re in the same boat.”
“It seems that way.”
I want to pull her to me, claim her mouth, and brand her with my tongue, but I fight the impulse. We’ve been running wild, and it hasn’t worked out. “Does that mean you want to keep seeing me?”
She exhales loudly. “I wish I could say no, but hell, I don’t want to say no.” She cups my cheek, and I lean into the caress. “But we need rules.”
“Agree. You start.”
“No fucking around. If you’re in my bed, you aren’t in anyone else’s. I don’t share.”
I fight the urge to grin. “That’s fair. The same goes for you. That also means no flirting with my teammates.”
Her brows arch. “Excuse me? When was I flirting with any of them?”
“At the library. I saw you with Ryder.”
“He walked me to my car because I didn’t have an umbrella on me. That wasn’t flirting.”
I dig my fingers into her hips and drag her closer to me. “I don’t care. You were too close.”
“I’m not your property, Sean. I can talk to whomever I want.”
I narrow my eyes, then I bite her inner thigh, making her gasp. “Talking wasn’t his intention, and you may not be my property, but while we’re doing this—” I lick her clit over her leggings “—your pussy is mine.”