31. Sean
CHAPTER 31
SEAN
T hanks to being poisoned, I have to miss weekend practice. Coach Bedford is aware of what happened. Ashley and the guys stayed with me until I was discharged from the hospital, and I feel bad that my teammates missed a good night’s sleep on my account. Unlike me, they’re expected to show up at training today.
“You don’t need to babysit me,” I tell Ashley once we’re back in my dorm room, which reeks of vomit.
“I know. Jesus, we need to open the window.”
I look inside the trash bin and get nauseated again. The evidence of what happened last night is still there. No wonder it smells rancid in here. Donnie must not have spent the night. If he had, he’d still be passed out in bed.
“I’ll take care of this.” I grab the trash can.
“Are you sure? I can do it.”
I feel horrible, but I’m not going to let Ashley clean up my puke. “Yeah, I’m sure. Be right back.”
I head over to the common bathroom down the hall, which is mercifully empty. Don’t really want witnesses. I flush the puke down the toilet first, then I rinse the bin in the shower. I should have brought my shampoo with me to help with the stench. I’m not sure if only water will get rid of the smell—I might have to throw the trash can away and buy a new one.
The door to my is room open, and the scent of incense hits me in the hallway. Ashley must have found Donnie’s incense stash. He uses it to mask the pot smell. I find her straightening up my room, which makes me feel guilty.
“What are you doing, babe?”
“Helping out. And don’t say I don’t need to. I know I don’t, but I want to.”
I must have gremlins in my stomach, because I’m feeling all squiggly inside, and not in an “I’m going to puke again” kind of way. My heart is beating a staccato rhythm, determined to tell me a story.
“Okay, boss. I’m going to lie down then.”
“Take off your costume first. It can’t be comfortable.”
I smirk. “Just confess you want to get me naked.”
She shakes her head. “Duh. That’s a bonus. Do you need help?”
I get under the covers and watch her move around my small room like a busy bee. My heart swells with emotion, and my stomach tightens. In the hospital I told Ashley I wasn’t sure about my feelings, but I was in denial. I am sure. I’m in love with her, and that scares the shit out of me.
“I got it.” Holding her stare, I unbutton the shirt slowly, wondering how long it’ll take for her gaze to drop to my chest and abs.
Not long.
I lob the shirt aside, and her attention follows the movement. I expect her to look at me again, but her eyes remain focused on my forearm. My stomach bottoms out. Shit. My scars. I’ve always been careful about covering them up with water resistant makeup, but they’re visible after my stint in the hospital. There’s no denying what they are.
“Sean…” Her eyes connect with mine again, and I can guess what memory is at the forefront of her mind now.
Feeling exposed, I grab a sweatshirt that’s lying on my bed and put it on. Hell. I’ve tried so hard to hide the proof of my weakness from her.
“You can talk to me.” She steps closer.
Clenching my jaw, I sit on the edge of the bed with my shoulders hunched forward. I can’t make eye contact. I’m too ashamed.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I grit out. “And I don’t it anymore.”
She sits next to me and takes my hand. “I get it. I suffer from anxiety, and I don’t want anyone to know.”
My heavy heart skips a beat. I glance at her and get lost in her earnest gaze. “Did you tell me just to make me feel better?”
“No. I told you because I trust you. You can lean on me, Sean. Maybe not right now, but whenever you’re ready.”
My eyes burn, and a lump gets stuck in my throat. I start shaking all over as a storm of emotions surges through my body. Words form on my tongue. I’m about to blurt out the truth, but I’m not ready to say it out loud. I cup her cheek instead and crush my lips to hers—a desperate attempt to silence myself.
Ashley’s mouth parts, and I delve into her sweet taste. My pulse is racing. I’ve never felt so unraveled and at the mercy of anyone before. I need her like I need air.
She leans back, or I nudge her—I’m not sure. All I know is that we’re both lying in bed now with me on top. I’m shivering with desire, burning for her. Blindly, I push her leggings and underwear down, and Ashley helps with the pants I didn’t take off. We’re seem to be caught up in the same urgency.
When I finally slide into her, a sense of peace washes over me. With Ashley, I’m safe. She’s home to me.