47. Sean
CHAPTER 47
SEAN
D ad and Marnie have been at the hospital for a couple of hours. It’s already morning, and we’ve asked our friends to go home and rest. We’ll let them know when Ashley is awake and, hopefully, able to receive visitors.
Darren, the first to leave, reminded me that our dogs need to go out for a walk. I’m ashamed to admit I forgot all about Dots, my puppy. Luckily, Darren, who’s my roommate, didn’t forget about the doggos.
I haven’t had a chance to speak with Dad alone yet. I don’t want to spring the news that he’s not my biological father in front of Marnie.
Kenzie’s sitting next to me, and as if she’s reading my mind, she leans closer to whisper in my ear, “When are you going to tell Dad?”
“I want to talk to him alone.”
“I see.” She jumps up from her chair and says, “This waiting is driving me crazy. Marnie, do you want to come to the cafeteria with me?”
Marnie hesitates. I guess she doesn’t want to miss it if the doctor comes with news about Ashley.
Dad pats her hand. “I’ll call you if there’s any change, hon.”
“Okay. I guess I could use a cup of coffee. Can I get you anything?”
“Just black coffee, dear.”
“Yeah, same for me,” I say.
I wait until Kenzie and Marnie disappear around the corner to sit next to Dad. “How are you holding up?” I ask.
“Terrible, but I should be the one asking you that question. You were at the car crash… you saw the whole thing.”
I rub my face as the awful memories come to the forefront of my mind. “I’ll never forget it. It was the worst moment of my life. I’ve never felt so powerless.”
He pats my leg. “You weren’t though. It’s thanks to you that help got to Ash quickly. That was crucial, son.”
I nod. “I guess you’re right. But I was the reason she was on that road in the first place.” I look up, trying to keep the tears that are forming in my eyes from rolling down my cheeks. “I kissed Ashley right before she took off.”
“Please don’t tell me you carried on with Ash after finding out she’s your sister,” he says in a dangerously low tone.
“No. I haven’t gone near her all this time. I had a weak moment, but it doesn’t matter. When we were told Ash might need a kidney transplant, Kenzie and I did all the tests to find out if we were a match. Kenzie is, but I…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m not. Because I’m not her brother.”
“What?” Dad’s body goes stiff. “What nonsense is that?”
“I took the blood test twice, Dad. I’m not related to Ash. That means I’m not…” I look away, rubbing moisture from the corners of my eyes. “I’m not your biological son.”
A heavy silence descends upon us. I look at Dad to make sure he’s not having another heart attack. He doesn’t seem to be in any physical pain, but his face has turned ashen. He looks like a marble statue.
“Please say something,” I beg.
He turns toward me, and I see the shock glistening in his eyes. “I… it doesn’t matter what a stupid test says. You’re my son.” He pulls me into a hug. “You’re my son, do you hear me?”
The tension leaves my body. I didn’t realize how terrified I was of his reaction until now. Besides worrying about his health, I was also afraid he’d reject me.
He pulls back and looks into my eyes. “That means I made you and Ash suffer for nothing. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I never had any doubt in my mind you were mine, but still, I should have done a paternity test to be sure.”
“So, you aren’t going to be against our relationship now?”
He frowns. “God no. If you still love Ash after all this time, and she still loves you, I won’t stand in the way of your happiness. I’ve messed up your lives enough.”
I stare into the distance. “I’m not sure if she still loves me. I never told her why I had to end things, and I hurt her terribly.”
Dad squeezes my shoulder. “You were protecting her. She’ll come around.”
I let out a derisive laugh. “You don’t know that. But I’ll do anything to get her back.”
ASHLEY
When I finally wake up, everything hurts. A doctor tells me I was in an almost fatal car wreck. In fact, I did flatline a couple times during surgery. I lost a kidney, and they’re monitoring the one I have left. In case it fails, Kenzie is on standby and ready to offer me one of hers. I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience as the doctor dumps all that information on me under the watchful eyes of Mom and Chris.
The last thing I remember is, ironically, a deer’s eyes shining in my headlights. I hit the poor animal, and in retribution, it almost killed me.
I’m in a lot of pain, so the doctor gives me more painkillers and I pass out again. I’m not sure how long I sleep, but when I wake up, I’m not alone in the room. Sean is sleeping in a chair in the corner. His hair is tousled, and he’s in need of a shave, but he’s still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. It’s fucking unfair. My heart squeezes tight, and it hurts. The last time we were together, he kissed me, then rejected me again.
God, why does he have to be in my room now? It’s possible he’s covering for Mom, Chris, and Kenzie. Maybe I’ve been sleeping for too long. But I can’t deal with Sean’s bullshit and remorse. Knowing him, he probably blames himself for my accident.
I could pretend to be asleep and wait until his shift is over, but I’m parched. I try to find the button to call a nurse, but my coordination is shot, and I ended up fumbling with the control for the bed. It’s the kind that’s attached to a cord, and when I drop it, it bangs against something made of metal.
Sean jerks awake, and his eyes immediately find mine, which are wide open. Fuck. I can’t pretend to be asleep now.
“Ash… you’re awake.”
“Thanks for that helpful observation,” I rasp. “I wouldn’t have known otherwise.”
He stands and walks closer. “How do you feel?”
“Like a deer hammered into me at eighty miles an hour.”
His lips curl into a grin. “Your tongue is as sharp as ever. That’s a good sign.”
“Whatever. Why are you here?”
He frowns. “Where else am I supposed to be?”
“Uh… at school or the arena?”
“Do you think I could focus in class or play hockey when you almost died?” he replies in a choked voice.
I try not to react, but yearning hits me hard, making me angry. I don’t want to feel this intensely about him still. “You say that as if you didn’t spend the last three years ignoring me.”
He pushes his bangs back. “I didn’t ignore you. Trust me, I tried, but I couldn’t.”
“Wow. You can’t spare me your assholery even when I’m recovering in a hospital bed.”
Guilt flashes in his eyes. “That came out wrong. That’s not what I meant.”
I close my eyes and sigh. “Honestly, I couldn’t care less about what you meant. I’m tired and in pain.”
He takes my hand, making my eyes fly open. He’s watching me with such raw emotion that it robs me of air. “What are you doing?”
“I was going to wait until you were dischar?—”
Mom, Chris, and Kenzie enter the room, cutting Sean short. Mom rushes to the side of my bed and touches my forehead. “How are you feeling, hon?”
“Rough.”
Sean shuffles back until he’s standing closer to the door. Hell, he’s leaving without finishing what he was going to say.
“What did you want to tell me, Sean?” I ask.
Everyone looks at him, and I don’t miss the matching worried expressions on their faces. It’s like they’re all in on a secret that I’m not supposed to know.
“Whatever Sean has to say can wait, sweetheart,” Chris replies.
I’d insist, but I feel drained. Still, as tired as I am, I don’t miss the sheer agony that’s shining in Sean’s eyes.