49. Sean
CHAPTER 49
SEAN
I ’m looking out the window of Ashley’s living room for the umpteenth time when Gia finds me. “Any word from Kenzie yet?”
“No. I already sent her a few texts.” I pull my phone out of my pocket to check again. “Nothing.”
“Yeah. She didn’t reply to my text either. You don’t think there’s been a change and Ashley couldn’t get discharged yet, right?”
“I wasn’t thinking that, but I am now. Fuck.” I pull my hair back and notice my hand is shaking. “I should have gone with Kenzie.”
Gia touches my arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sure everything is fine.”
“What’s going on?” Noah asks as he joins us, carrying a plate of food.
She shakes her head. “We’re just wondering when Ash will get here. Why are you eating already?”
“This isn’t for me. It’s for you.” He hands Gia the plate. “You didn’t eat anything today.”
“Thank you, but I’m not really hungry.”
Noah frowns. “You’re not eating enough. Come on, just have a pig-in-the-blanket for me, please?”
“Oh, all right.”
I look out the window again—it’s better than witnessing those two being so sweet with each other. The last thing I want is to be jealous of what they have just because my love life is fucked up. They’re my friends and deserve to be happy.
A moment later, Kenzie pulls up the driveaway with Ashley in the passenger seat. I’m relieved for a second, before I realize people need to get ready.
“Ash is here!” I announce.
“Oh crap. Everyone in position,” Gia commands.
I start toward my spot at the far end of the living room. I don’t want Ashley to see me first. I want her to be at ease and happy before we hopefully talk alone in her room. This surprise party is inconvenient, but I couldn’t sabotage it just because I haven’t told Ashley the truth yet.
“Don’t be nervous, Sean. I know Ash will forgive you,” Gia tells me.
God, I didn’t know my feelings were so obvious.
“I’m not nervous,” I grumble.
“Sure, you aren’t.” Blair snickers.
“You have nothing to worry about. We know she loves you,” Zoey chimes in.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, making my heart leap into my throat. Jesus, I am jittery. It’s a text from Kenzie.
KENZIE: Come outside. Ash wants to talk to you first.
My stomach churns. Hell. That can’t be good.
ME: Okay.
KENZIE: FYI. She knows.
Damn it, Kenzie.
“Yo, Sean. Where are you going?” Alex asks from across the room.
“Uh, Ash wants to talk to me.”
“Oh no. Does she know we’re all here?” Zoey asks.
“I don’t know.”
Probably. Kenzie obviously can’t keep a secret.
When I open the door, I come face to face with my sister. Before I can ask, she says, “She’s in the car.”
“Is she mad?”
“I’m not sure. She was pretty quiet on the ride here. She wasn’t angry with me though.”
I pinch my brows together. “Why would she be angry with you? You didn’t withhold information from her for three years like I did.”
Kenzie nods. “True. Well… good luck.”
She walks into the house, but before she closes the door, I hear one of the twins say, “Oh, I gotta see this.”
Shit. I bet everyone will rush to the window to witness this convo. I take a deep breath and approach the car. It’s damn cold outside, and like a dumbass, I forgot to put my coat on. I veer for the driver’s side of the car with the intention of getting in, but Ashley opens her door and exits the vehicle. I stop in my tracks and watch her circle around the front toward me. She’s moving pretty fast for someone who’s been in a hospital bed for the past two weeks.
“Ash—”
“You jerk!” She hits my arm, then winces, but the fire doesn’t leave her eyes. “How could you not tell me?”
“I was protecting you.”
“Protecting me from what?”
I guess we’re doing this now with our friends watching from the window. So much for privacy.
“The truth. It wrecked me. I didn’t want you to feel as horrible as I did.”
“Oh my God. You don’t think I was a fucking wreck just the same? Do you have any idea how many nights I lay awake wondering what I had done to deserve what you did to me? You didn’t only break my heart, you leveled me to the ground.”
Remorse hits me like a cannonball, making me sick. “I thought it’d hurt less if I just ended things. You don’t know how tormented I was about it. It was torture, believing I had fallen in love with my own sister.”
“I had the right to know.” She wipes tears from her eyes.
“I know, but I don’t regret keeping it a secret from you. The knowledge that we were related didn’t make me stop loving you, and every time I saw you and wanted you so badly I couldn’t breathe, it made me hate myself. I didn’t want that for you.”
“And yet, three years later you kissed me while still believing you were my brother.”
“My self-restraint had worn thin after all that time, and jealousy made it snap.”
The fire seems to vanish from her eyes, but the hurt is still there. I take a step closer, and another, until I’m in her space.
She looks up and keeps staring into my eyes. “Do you still love me?”
“I never stopped.”
Her lips tremble, and I see the tears forming in her eyes again. I pull her into my arms carefully, conscious that she’s still recovering from fractured ribs. She rests her cheek against my chest, and I kiss the top of her head. I want to claim her lips and lose myself in the taste of her, but a chaste kiss is as far as I dare to go.
“You must be cold. We should go inside,” I tell her.
“You’re wearing far less clothing than me.”
“I’m not cold.”
She glances at me. “You’re not going to ask me if I still love you?”
My heart is hammering inside my chest, hard and fast. The fear that she feels nothing for me besides loathing is front and center in my mind. “I was getting there. Do you?”
“I… I don’t know. A lot was dumped on me today, and I need time to process everything.”
The pressure in my chest increases, crushing my heart. “That’s fair. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here in whatever shape or form you need me. I’m yours forever, Ash, even if you don’t want me.”
She steps back, creating a small gap between us, and I miss her touch instantly. “Let’s go inside. I’m late for my own party.”