Chapter Twenty Nine
T illy walked out of the police station into the cold night and didn’t know where to go. She couldn’t stand to be in the station any longer, and as much as the kids were sweet, she couldn’t handle them at home tonight. Even the thought of sneaking into her own flat made her heart hurt. There were too many memories of Sophie there, she couldn’t do it yet.
In the end, she made her way down the road to the pub, because where else could she sit undisturbed with her thoughts?
She’d seen it on Sophie’s face the second she’d turned around. She’d known that there was no getting out of this, that she’d sacrificed whatever they’d had or were going to have in order to do her job properly.
And now she felt like she was torn in half. One half hating the other. Her chest felt heavy and tight, and she didn’t think anything was going to set things right again.
Jules was not behind the bar, which was the first good thing that had happened all day. She ordered a gin and slimline tonic and took it to a table as far away from the bar as she could get. She just wanted to sit in the warm until she was tired enough that she thought she might be able to fall asleep.
“So,” Billy said, pulling out a chair opposite Tilly. “How is the practicing going?”
Tilly looked up in alarm. She hadn’t seen Billy coming and on the list of things she really didn’t want to deal with right now, talking about the winter concert was fairly high. “I, uh, I was just leaving,” she said, ignoring the full drink on the table in front of her.
“No, you weren’t,” said Billy. “You literally just got here.” She put her own glass down on the table. “We don’t have to talk about choir if you don’t want to. But if we’re not going to, then I’d just like you to know that you can sing. I’m very happy with what you and Sophie have done with your solos. You’re going to be the stars of the night.”
Tilly knew that she’d blushed when Sophie’s name had been mentioned. And, she supposed, she was going to have to deal with things sooner rather than later. She sighed. “About that.”
“Oh no,” Billy said. “You can’t pull out now.”
“I don’t want to,” Tilly said, stung at the idea that she might be unreliable.
Billy narrowed her eyes. “What is it then?”
“I… there’s been a development,” said Tilly weakly.
“Is this about you and Sophie sleeping together?”
Tilly looked up in shock and Billy shrugged.
“Jules said not to say anything, that it would be more diplomatic. But honestly, it was pretty obvious. You two have been making eyes at each other across the room since you met.” She paused. “Um, there’s no rules against it or anything. In the choir, I mean, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“It’s absolutely not what I’m worried about,” said Tilly, who hadn’t even considered it. “It’s more the fact that I’m pretty sure Sophie currently wants to kill me and she definitely never wants to see me again. So you can see how singing together might be a bit tough.”
“What did you do?” asked Billy, picking up her beer.
“Arrested her.”
Billy burst out into laughter. “You’re kidding?”
“Nope.”
“Huh. Well, I can see how she might be a bit cross. I’m assuming that there was some kind of misunderstanding or something? I can’t see our Sophie as a master criminal.”
Tilly pulled a face.
“What happened?” asked Billy.
“I can’t—”
“Psh. Tell me. It’s my concert at stake here, I’ve got a right to know. Besides, you look like you could use a friendly ear. I’m offering. It won’t happen again, so if you’re going to tell someone, then you’d better get started.”
Tilly found herself spilling the whole sordid tale to Billy, though she hadn’t intended on telling anyone at all. When she was done, Billy shook her head.
“Tough choice,” she said. “I don’t really see what you could have done differently. I’m sure that when Sophie’s had a chance to think about things, she’ll see the same thing.”
“I don’t think so,” Tilly said. “She chose her family over me, and I can’t blame her for that. And it’s not like I can apologize and say I’ll change. I’m not going to. My job is important to me.” She sighed. “I just wish it could be different.”
“Maybe she’s not the one for you then,” Billy said. “I should know. Before I married Jules, I was in another relationship for years. I was so sure that we were supposed to be together that when we broke up, I thought I’d never love anyone again. Look how that turned out.”
“Maybe,” Tilly said. “I suppose you’re right. If we can’t see eye to eye on the important stuff, then I suppose it wouldn’t have worked out in the end, anyway.”
“You’re not saying that like you believe it.” Billy drank another mouthful.
“It’s just that… well, my life was better with Sophie in it,” Tilly said.
“Why?”
“What?”
“Why?” asked Billy. “It’s easy to say stuff like that, but do you really mean it? How was your life better with Sophie in it?”
Tilly thought about this. “It just was,” she said finally.
“That’s the easy answer, and it’s bullshit,” said Billy. “Find the answer to that question and you’ll know whether or not you two can work together. If you can’t find an answer, well, it was doomed to failure.”
“I’m not sure you should be walking around giving advice like that,” Tilly said, starting to get irritated.
“I’m not an agony aunt,” said Billy. “I never pretended to be one. But I am happily married after being a disaster myself. I put my career ahead of everything, I ruined relationships, I’ve been in your shoes.”
“I’m no disaster,” said Tilly.
“Fine,” huffed Billy. “You’re not a disaster. You’re miserable, though, and not especially pleasant company.”
“I never asked you to sit here.”
“True.” Billy picked up her drink. “These things have a tendency to work out in the end. You have to have patience. Let me know by the end of the week whether the two of you are capable of singing together. If you’re not, I’ll have to work something else out.”
She got up and wandered back across the pub toward the bar.
Tilly eyed her gin and tonic. Would this all work out in the end? Could this all work out? She didn’t see a way. Sophie hated her, and who could blame her? She tried to put herself in Sophie’s shoes. How would she feel toward an officer that arrested her father?
But the thought of her dad being in trouble with the law was so far outside her experience that she couldn’t truly empathize.
In the end, she supposed, there wasn’t much she could do to change things. She’d done what she had to do, and Sophie had made her decisions. But as she finished up her drink and decided to risk going home, her shoulders were heavy. And the world outside the door was just a bit darker than it had been before.
Things had changed. Everything had changed. And Tilly really, really wished that it hadn’t.
THE PHONE RANG at five to ten and Tilly answered it without looking at who it was, desperately praying that it was Sophie, but not wanting to jinx her luck by seeing a name on the display.
“Matilda,” said her father when she picked up the phone.
“Dad.” Her heart sank back down into the soles of her feet. Not Sophie then. She never should have hoped.
“Don’t sound so pleased to hear from me.”
She took a breath and forced herself to smile, hoping that he’d hear it through the phone. “I am glad to hear from you, always.”
“I just phoned to say well done,” he said. “I’ve heard about the arrests, and I’m proud of you.”
Her heart sank even lower, like it was trying to physically escape through the bottom of her feet. “Actually, the arrests aren’t going to stick.”
“Not procedural,” he groaned.
“No, no,” she said. She sighed. “The garage was being used, but only a big storage shed out back. We arrested the owner, but it turns out he was illegally renting the place out. So we’ve got a location, but we still don’t have the actual thieves.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said her father stoutly. “That’s still good police work, and that’s what counts. You’ll get there in the end. Slow and steady wins the race, eh?”
She had a genuine smile then. It was a small one, but still. She’d forgotten how her dad could put a bright face on things, how he could make her feel better. “Yeah, we’ll get there.”
“Is everything alright down there? You’re sounding a wee bit glum.”
She’d also forgotten that he could read her like a book. “All fine,” she said, hoping he was going to leave the issue alone.
“Ah, right.” He was quiet for a minute. “I was thinking about maybe coming for a visit. Saturday afternoon if you’re not too busy? I’d like to see you.” He was quiet again for a second. “I, uh, I miss having you around.”
She cursed at herself. She’d been so involved in her own life that she hadn’t even thought about her dad rattling around alone in that big house. Maybe having him here was what she needed. A reminder of how important the job was, and a friendly face around for a few hours. “I should have invited you,” she said.
“No, no, you’ve been busy.”
“No, I should have invited you. And I’m officially inviting you now. Would you like to come over on Saturday and have a tour of Whitebridge? We can make a day of it.”
Her father chuckled. “I’d like that,” he said. “I’m looking forward to seeing you.”
When she put the phone down, Tilly sighed. Life had to go on, she supposed. But that didn’t mean that she was going to be happy about it.
She had the feeling that she was never really going to be happy again.