Ronan
ronan
T oday was hot, the coffee was oddly bitter, the light over my desk kept flickering just enough to make my eye twitch, and my briefs had somehow shrunk in the wash and they were pinching places that should not be pinched. Ever.
I shifted in my seat, the leather creaking with my movements. My head pounded as I rubbed circles on my temples, trying to relieve some of the pressure building. Unsurprisingly, I hadn’t slept. At this point, I didn’t think I’d ever have the chance to do it again. The ceiling was far more interesting than the back of my eyelids, apparently.
I took another sip of my coffee and groaned. It was so bad. Our coffee was cheap, usually burnt, but it was caffeine and did its job. But this was on another level of gross.
“Trin!” Somehow, I knew she had something to do with this.
A few minutes passed, and I opened my mouth to shout for her again when she came skidding to a stop in my doorway. Sweat coated her face, and her hair was a wild, blonde mane. Her chest heaved as she panted, and my suspicions rose.
“What did you do?” I asked as I pushed to my feet, placing my hands on the desk. My fingertips rested against a stack of papers—everything was so chaotic and messy, it was driving me crazy.
“Nothing.”
“Trin—”
“Nothing. Really.”
My gaze stayed on hers, waiting for her to crack and spill all her secrets. But she just folded her arms over her chest and stared right back.
She huffed out a breath as she rolled her eyes. “I didn’t do anything.”
“The coffee.”
“What about it? You know I don’t drink that stuff from here.”
“You did something to it. It tastes weird.”
“Ask one of your deputies. They’re the only ones who touch that pot of sludge,” she said. I shook my head. What was she talking about?
“You make coffee for us all the time.”
“Yeah, but not today.”
I ran through my morning, trying to remember who was responsible for this. But I had no idea who had brewed it.
“Oh!” She snapped her fingers, and I let out a breath. Of course. “I quadrupled the serving. Much stronger.”
A grin tugged at her lips as she sank into the chair across from my desk and kicked her Converse-clad feet on the edge. It took all I had to not push them off.
“Are you kidding? This shit is undrinkable, Trin.”
As if on cue, someone from deeper in the department shouted her name, and her head fell back as she cackled. She truly was a menace to society and was single-handedly giving me premature gray hair.
And ruining coffee for every person in this damn building.
I leaned back in my chair with a groan and ran my fingers through my hair. It was likely a mess from doing it all morning, but I couldn’t stop. Her brow creased, like she was just noticing the state I was in for the first time. Which wouldn’t be surprising. She was usually in her own little world.
“What’s your deal?” she asked. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” It was my turn to lie.
She snorted and sunk deeper into the chair, looking like she didn’t believe a single word I said. Her arms stayed folded, her feet stayed propped, and her gaze stayed on mine. Unwavering.
It was unnerving.
“I can sit here all day,” she said smugly. “And tomorrow. And the next day. I’ll sit here for the rest of my life.”
“You have a job?—”
“My job is to know what’s going on with you,” she shot back.
“That’s my job,” I countered. “I’m older.”
“And I’m smarter, prettier, funnier, better smelling?—”
“I get it.” I held my hand up, but laughter still rattled my chest. “You’re all of those things…and nosier.”
“Me? Nosey?” She gasped dramatically. “No way. Now tell me what’s going on. Leave nothing out.” I opened my mouth, but she held a hand up, mocking me. “And don’t say you’re tired. You’re always tired. Nothing new there.”
I tapped my fingers against the wooden desk. Telling her about Willow’s request would mean opening myself up to her opinion, and I really didn’t want that. But bouncing ideas off her might help.
I’d wrestled with myself all night. A part of me wanted to do it, not just because it would help her, but it might be a good way for me to practice dating. Then, after her family left, I could find someone to really settle down with.
Having low-pressure practice sounded like a good idea.
But it also sounded like a nightmare. Because what if she fell for me? What if I fell for her? It would end in tears and heartbreak, and I didn’t know if I could handle that.
“Don’t hurt yourself thinking too hard,” Trinity said, pulling me from my thoughts. I blinked, realizing my brows were bunched so tightly together, I felt a headache forming at the front of my skull. I relaxed my forehead, feeling immediate relief. “So, what is it?”
I took a deep breath. “If I tell you, it doesn’t leave this office. I’m serious, Trinity.”
She perked up as she nodded. “Of course. I can keep a secret.”
Yeah, I doubted that. And because of that, I had to tell her a variation of the truth. The full truth would get out eventually, and I needed to spare both of us the drama.
“Willow came over last night and asked me out,” I said, shrugging. Trin’s jaw hit the floor. “What?”
“No way,” she breathed.
“She brought a basket of baked goods and?—”
“No. Way.”
I looked around the office. I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Oh my god. What did you tell her? Where are you going? What are you going to wear? When is it? Oh my god, we need to go shopping.” She leapt to her feet, ready to head out.
“Settle down.” I waved back at her chair, and she reluctantly sat. “I told her no.”
She just stared at me.
She stared at me as if I had a million heads sprouting from my neck.
“Why in the world would you tell her no?” she asked, the shock clear in her voice.
“She’s my neighbor,” I began, and she rolled her eyes. “And I’m not looking to date right now.”
“Oh, get over yourself.” She groaned, dropping back into the chair. “Just go on a date with her. She’s cute and funny. She’s a catch—probably the best you’ll do around here. All the good ones are either taken or grew up with you.”
That was true. They were my classmates from kindergarten all the way to our senior year of high school. Growing up with people tended to make you not want to date them later in life. You knew all their secrets, saw them grow through their awkward phase, knew every detail of their life already. There was nothing new. Nothing exciting.
But I didn’t know Willow.
No one really did.
Other than working at the bakery and loving the lighthouse, she was a mystery.
“Just do it,” Trin continued. “No harm. No foul. If you don’t like her, then don’t go on another date.” She shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.
What did she even know, though? She’d never had a boyfriend. From what I knew, she’d never even been on a date.
“I can lend you some books, too. You know, so you can take notes on how to be the perfect man.” She wiggled her eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes.
“I’ve read one too many of your romance novels,” I muttered.
“Does that mean you’ll go out with her?”
I blinked. “That’s not what I said.”
“But you didn’t not say it.”
“You’re confusing me,” I grumbled. “I’m not doing it.”
“But—”
“She just wants a date to deal with her family,” I blurted. “They’ll be here in a few weeks, and she wants someone to be her date while she spends time with them.”
Trin tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing. I could see all the gears in her mind working overtime as she thought about every outcome. I held my breath as I waited. Sometimes I swore she was clairvoyant—she saw things no one else could.
Finally, she let out a long breath, her chin dipping in a confident nod. “You should do it.”
“Even the stuff with her family?”
A shoulder rose and fell. “Yep.”
I tapped my finger on my desk as I sifted through my racing thoughts.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
What if I didn’t like her, like Trin said? I’d feel obligated to be her fake boyfriend in front of her family. But I knew I couldn’t fake my feelings for her—if I didn’t like her, everyone would know.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
But what if I did like her? What if I fell so hard for her I ruined whatever bit of civility we had?
Tap .
I might’ve already ruined it when I turned her down, though.
I scrubbed my hands over my face, letting out a long, low groan. “I can’t believe this is my life,” I said. “This is unbelievable.”
Without a word, Trin jumped from her chair and raced from the room. I stared at the empty doorway, my jaw slack.
So much for her helping me with this decision.
Never in my life did I think I’d have to fight this hard with myself to not date a cute girl. Maybe because I was older now, or maybe because I had more to lose, I didn’t know, but I couldn’t let this blow up in our faces. Because my reputation was hanging on by the thinnest thread in existence, and Willow’s wasn’t even formed yet.
If I did this, I’d have to do it correctly. Nothing I ever did was half-assed, and being her fake boyfriend would be no different.
God, why was this so difficult?
I didn’t have feelings for her. Even though I’d almost asked her out, it was because she was there. She was available. It wasn’t because I liked her. She was my annoying neighbor, always on my back about something.
But she was also my fantasy when I tried to fall asleep every night. I looked forward to hearing whatever album she was playing when I got home after a long day.
It was her I looked forward to seeing on our way out of the house every morning. It was her I wanted to bicker with, because, while it was annoying, it was harmless.
It was fun.
It was…
Her .
Before the thought could fully form and take root in my mind, Trin rushed back into the office, a stack of books in her arms. Stumbling forward a step, she tried to catch her breath as she dropped them on the desk, the thud echoing in the room like a gunshot.
Leaning to the side, I stared at her around the stack. Her cheeks were rosy, and sweat had broken out along her forehead. “What is this?”
“Your study material.”
“What?”
“You need to learn how to treat a girl right,” she said with so much authority, I nearly caved. But then I remembered I was a thirty-three-year-old man, and I knew how to treat a woman. In and out of the bedroom, thank you.
It’d been a while, but it was like riding a bike. Right?
Everything was still in the same place, and it didn’t vary that much person to person. I knew what made them explode, what made them beg, what made their toes curl—I needed to stop.
Heat crept along my spine, settling in my lower belly. Yeah, I definitely needed to stop thinking about that—about Willow on her back in my bed, naked…
Get it together, man.
Roughly, I cleared my throat. “I don’t need to study anything,” I muttered. “I know how to date a woman. I’ve done it before.”
“Yeah, but that was a century ago. Things have changed.”
“Things haven’t changed.”
“They have.” She nodded confidently. “Like, did you know you’re supposed to open the door for her and buy her flowers and get her hot chocolate and rub her feet? Fight her demons—go to Eden’s apothecary. She’ll hook you up with some sage. That’ll smudge those demons right out.”
She’d lost her mind. She’d honestly and truly lost her damn mind.
“I don’t think Willow has any demons,” I said softly. My sister shrugged and propped her feet back on the edge of my desk.
“I have been reading a lot of paranormal romances lately, so maybe that’s why, but I swear girls love a good smudging.”
“I’m sure that’s one-hundred percent true,” I muttered, my lips fighting to not curve into a smile.
“So, you’re gonna do it? You’re gonna date her?”
I hated how hopeful she sounded, how excited. But a part of me would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited, too.
Even if I’d dated before, that had been years ago. This was new territory for me, so as excited as I might’ve been, I definitely felt more nervous than anything.
Because what if Willow rejected me like I’d rejected her? What if I’d already ruined everything before it even began?