Willow
willow
“ Y ou are way too cheery this morning,” Gracie said as she set the empty tray on the counter. I grinned at her, but it seemed to only make her suspicions rise. “ Why are you so happy?”
I shrugged and dried my hands on the towel. Where did I even begin? So much had happened in just a few days. Ronan and I stayed up late the last two nights texting. He was so kind, and so funny—much kinder and funnier than I ever expected. Before our arrangement, he’d been so serious all the time and seeing a softer side to him had been…nice.
He was unlike any man I’d ever known, and I had to keep reminding myself that we were just friends who’d eventually go back to being just neighbors. We’d be nothing to each other again, and I was already anticipating how badly it was going to hurt.
“Things with Ronan are good,” I said simply. Her brows rose as she took a sip of her water.
“So, it’s real then?”
That lead brick in my stomach sank lower. “No.”
Chatter and music filtered in through the closed kitchen door, and the scent of freshly baked desserts filled the air. I busied myself with folding the clean kitchen towels and putting them in the small basket by the sink. My back was to her, but I could still feel her eyes boring into me.
“It seems real,” she muttered. “I don’t know many fake girlfriends who would take their fake boyfriend’s coffee and tarts.” I rolled my eyes as I spun toward her.
“He said Trinity switched his coffee for mushroom coffee.” I folded my arms over my chest. “What was I supposed to do? Let him suffer?”
Gracie snorted a laugh. “God, I love Trin. She’s always been so crazy.” Her smile slowly fell, and I could tell by the faraway look on her face that she was thinking about her past, about the way her life had been so intertwined with the Caldwell’s that she’d been one of them.
I didn’t know the whole story, only that she’d dated the youngest Caldwell brother in high school. She thought they were going to get married one day, but then he randomly dumped her with a cruel letter, and she hadn’t heard from him again. That was ten years ago, but she still seemed sad.
“Anyway,” she breathed, clapping her hands together. “How are you feeling about the whole thing? You seem happy.”
I groaned as I dropped my head back. That was the problem—I was happy. Not even Braydon loitering in the bakery for the last few days could pry this newfound happiness from me.
But I was an anxious, nervous wreck around Ronan. I was shy, and awkward, and felt ridiculous. I felt so unlike myself when he was around. We were together, but not really together, and I felt like there were a million lines I couldn’t cross. It made things confusing.
“It’s all fake,” I muttered, trying to find the right words. “I just don’t know how to act around him. Do I treat him like a boyfriend? Like a friend? Like a guy just doing me a favor? What am I supposed to do?”
“How does he treat you?” she asked, and I groaned again. Moving to the island in the center of the kitchen, I rested my forearms against it. She mimicked my movements, and we stared at each other across the wood countertop.
“That’s the thing,” I said softly. “He said when we’re in public, we have to be a real couple. He needs to believe that we’re together for it to work.” She grunted a noncommittal sound that I didn’t understand. “It’s hard because when he acts like my boyfriend, things get confusing, you know? Like, how am I supposed to not fall for him when he’s being sweet and calling me shortcake and flirting with me?”
“Wait. Rewind. He calls you shortcake?” She made a high-pitched squealing sound and ran around the island. “Ronan has always been the softest and sweetest brother. I don’t remember him having many girlfriends when he was young, but the few he had were cherished. And it makes sense for him to want things to feel real between you. He’s a good guy, so I’m sure lying is hard for him.”
“But how can things feel real between us without actually getting real?” I countered. I scrubbed my hands over my face. “This is a lot more complicated than I ever thought it would be.”
She gave me a sympathetic look as she pushed herself up onto the counter. “Maybe blur the lines even more,” she said, and my brows crashed together.
“What?”
A sly grin spread across her face. “I mean, it’s obvious you like him.”
“I don’t?—”
“Whatever.” Her head fell back as she laughed. “Figure out what you want to happen after your family leaves. Do you want to stay just friends with him? Or do you want something more?”
My bottom lip found its place between my teeth. I didn't know what I wanted, but more than that, I didn’t know what he wanted. If I did, making this decision would be a lot easier. Because what if I let myself fall for him, only to find out he felt absolutely nothing for me?
“Just feel it out,” Gracie continued. “Maybe you’ll get through the next few weeks and realize you like him better as a friend.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I felt skin peel off my lip, and I winced. I really needed to stop chewing on them. “What if I fall for him?” The words came out like a whisper, and the desperation in them made me cringe.
Her face softened as she rested her hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing. “No matter what happens, you’ll survive,” she said softly. “It’ll hurt like hell if he doesn’t feel the same, but you’ll survive. And you’ll be a stronger person for it.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. Because something told me getting my heart broken by Ronan Caldwell would totally shatter me. It would destroy me. And I wasn’t entirely sure if I was ready for that kind of pain.
ME:
I hope your coffee was better today.
RONAN:
I made some at home this morning.
ME:
I could’ve brought you another cup.
RONAN:
I can’t ask you to be my daily coffee deliverer.
ME:
I don’t mind.
RONAN:
You’re sweet.
I’ll have to do something for you in return.
ME:
Well, actually.
There is something…
RONAN:
I shouldn’t have said anything haha.
What is it?
ME:
I have a giant bag of fertilizer in my car. Do you think you could carry it to my backyard later?
RONAN:
Of course, shortcake.
I’ll take care of it when I get home.