Ronan
ronan
W illow squirmed in the car seat the entire drive home. She tugged on the short hem of her dress, shifted her legs together, pressed her hands into her thighs—she was nervous, and I knew why.
We teased each other all night. My hand lingered a little too high on her leg. She leaned into me, her breath ghosting along my neck. Goosebumps rippled over my body, and my cock was achingly hard in my pants.
It was torture.
That line between us blurred until it was nearly invisible. But she continued drinking, and my want to take things further dissipated. I wouldn’t touch her while she was drunk. Even if she said she wanted it, she couldn’t fully consent, and I wouldn’t take advantage of that.
That didn’t mean I didn’t think about it, that I didn’t want it. Want her. My cock was still stiff in my jeans, and I knew I’d have to take a cold shower to get rid of it. I knew she would be all I could think about, too.
I locked my truck seven times as we walked across the yard to the house. Willow stumbled, and I reached out, wrapping my arm around her waist. I pulled her tightly to my side, my fingers digging into her ribs teasingly.
A giggle left her, drunken and sweet, and I smiled. The moonlight highlighted her features—the bridge of her nose, the rounded curve of her cheeks, the fullness of her lips. I wanted to scoop her into my arms and kiss her. I wanted to carry her to my bed. I wanted to slide inside her and stay there all night.
Not tonight .
Tonight, I’d fuck my fist while I thought about her. But on another night, a night where she was sober and enthusiastic, I’d bury myself inside her. I thought that was what she wanted, too. From the flirty way she’d touched me and smiled, to the way she leaned forward to show off the full curve of her tits in her dress.
She was all but asking for it, and I wanted to give it to her.
Not tonight .
After we were inside, I went through my routine then checked the stove and microwave. I felt her eyes on me the entire time, but not heavy with judgement. When I looked at her, the only thing I saw on her face was curiosity.
“I have to make sure the microwave is unplugged and the stove is off,” I explained. Her head flopped to the side.
“But you checked before we left.”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t make sense to me either,” I said, though it did. But now wasn’t the time to get into it. “You should get some sleep. You have to work tomorrow, don’t you?”
She let out a long, dramatic groan that made me laugh. “I’m not even tired.”
“You’ve been yawning all night,” I countered, and she rolled her eyes.
“Only once,” she said, throwing her pointer finger up.
“Once every five minutes.” Another eye roll. I moved to her, my hands balling into fists to keep from touching her. “Do I need to carry you to bed, shortcake?” It was supposed to come out teasing, but my voice had dropped too much, and the air around us shifted.
She inhaled sharply, her gaze lifting to meet mine. Her green eyes were glassy and red, but bright and full of… want .
She wanted me.
It was hard to swallow. Lust burned inside me, and it took every ounce of strength I possessed to not throw her on the couch, lift her dress up, and eat her like a starving man.
But just one look in her eyes, just one smell of the alcohol wafting off her breath, I remembered she was drunk.
Not. Tonight .
She rested her hand on my chest, and I knew she could feel my heart thudding beneath it. “,” she started, but I shook my head.
“You’re drunk, Willow,” I murmured.
“I’m sober enough to know I want this,” she said softly, her words slurring together. “To know I want you .”
Her hand traveled down my chest, down the hard plane of my stomach. I let her—I shouldn’t have, but I did. I let her rest her fingers on my belt, let her wrap them around the buckle and tug me forward.
“Please,” she whispered.
My breathing turned ragged, and my cock grew impossibly harder. I squeezed my eyes shut, my hands finally moving to rest on her waist. A teasing smile played at the corners of her mouth like she’d somehow won. Her eyes grew hooded in a way I’d never seen before, and it made my breathing even more harsh.
“You’re drunk,” I said again, mostly as a reminder to myself. She reached up, wrapping her arms around my neck. I let her tug me down until her lips were a breath from mine.
“I’m sober enough?—”
I didn’t let her get the words out before my lips crashed against hers, kissing the breath from her lungs. She tasted sweet, like cranberry and lime juice, the hint of vodka an afterthought as I swept my tongue into her mouth.
Her mouth moved harder against mine, our lips crashing together in a way that was different from our previous kisses—this was hotter. Harder. It was a frenzy of hands and lips, teeth and tongues. We were desperate for each other’s touch, for each other’s body.
I walked her backward until she hit the wall. Her movements were confident as she dropped her hands to my belt, fumbling with the buckle.
Not tonight, my mind screamed at me. Not tonight!
But I couldn’t think past the way she palmed my cock over my jeans, her shocked gasp enough to make me groan. “You’re so big,” she breathed, and I nodded.
“I’ll take it slow with you,” I whispered. “I’ll go easy, baby.”
A needy whimper left her, and I smiled against her mouth. I trailed my hand up her thigh, and she shuffled her legs further apart, silently begging me to touch her. To make her feel good.
I’d been so close to her pussy so many times tonight but always stopped before I could touch her. But now we weren’t in public. Now I could touch her.
Not tonight.
The zipper of my jeans was loud, and she slipped her hand beneath the denim. The thin fabric of my briefs separated our skin as she rubbed her palm over my hard length again. A low groan left me—god, it felt so good .
But when her fingers wrapped around the elastic waistband, my mind caught up with what was happening. I reluctantly let my hands fall from her body and moved away, my chest heaving. Disappointment flashed across her face. I hated disappointing her. I hated making her feel anything but happy, but I couldn’t do it. Not tonight.
“You’re drunk,” I repeated, rubbing my hand against the back of my neck. “We can’t.”
“I’m telling you I want this.”
“But you might not when you’re sober.” I shook my head. “The first time I fuck you won’t be when you’re drunk. It’ll be when you’ll remember every single thing I do to you the next day.”
A red blush crawled up her chest and settled on her cheeks. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, but she didn’t look away. She stared at me, almost like she was trying to convince me to say fuck it.
And if she pushed, I might’ve. I might’ve caved if it were anyone but her.
I cared about Willow more than I was willing to admit. I wanted her to be in my life for—for a long time. Forever, maybe. And just like our first kiss was big, our first time sleeping together would be monumental.
I couldn’t be selfish and ruin it. It had to be special for us because we could never have a do over.
It had to be perfect the first time.
“Not tonight.” I finally said the words out loud. They tasted like ash coming out, but I knew it was for the best.
We stared at each other for another moment. I waited for her to say something else—to argue with me that she wanted it, that she could make her own decisions.
“I understand,” she said quietly. “You’re a good man, .”
My throat thickened at the words, and I roughly cleared it. “Will you be okay sleeping alone tonight?” I asked.
I didn’t mind if she slept with me again, but I didn’t know how much more strength I had. If she was just a few inches from me all night and kept trying to get me to break, I knew I’d give in.
“I’m okay.” She gave me a half smile, one that didn’t meet her eyes, and my heart dipped.
It was the right decision, but that didn’t mean it was an easy one.
Willow stumbled down the hallway to her bedroom, leaving me standing there staring after her. When she got to her room, she turned and met my gaze. A smile teased the corners of her mouth, and something in her face shifted. It was a look I knew well, one I saw on Trinity’s face before she did something that would wreak havoc.
Mischief . That was what it was.
It burned brightly in Willow’s eyes, in her smile. But before I could say anything, she shut the door. I waited, just listening. A part of me thought I should’ve asked her what that look was about, but maybe I didn’t want to know.
I ran my fingers through my hair as I headed to my bedroom. Undoing my jeans the rest of the way, I kicked my shoes off and put them on the rack in the closet before dropping my jeans in the hamper. My shirt and socks followed, leaving me in just my black briefs.
My cock strained against the fabric, the feeling of Willow’s hand pressing against me the only thing I could think about. I hadn’t had a woman touch me in so fucking long, and it felt good.
I laid on the bed and mindlessly reached down, my fingers teasing the thick waistband of my briefs. She’d smelled so good tonight, and she’d looked gorgeous. Her tits—my hand slid under the elastic, and my palm glided over the hot, hard flesh.
Her tits had been incredible. So full and supple, begging for my attention. And her skin was so hot . I knew if I touched her pussy, she would’ve been soaking wet. I could’ve easily slid two fingers inside her and watched as she struggled to keep a straight face while people surrounded us.
Would she have liked that? To be fingered and teased in public? I wanted to find out.
A moan filtered through the air, and my eyes shot open. Was that real? Or was it in my head? I strained to listen, and another moan hit me. It was quiet and muffled. barely-there, like it hadn’t really happened.
But I knew it had. It was soft and feminine, and definitely real.
Slowly, I got to my feet and moved to the wall I shared with the guest room and pressed my ear against it. The wall stifled the sounds she was making, but I could hear them.
Was she…?
I crept into the hallway, keeping my footsteps silent as I moved toward her door. It was cracked open, and golden light seeped out. I hesitated. Should I look? No…I couldn’t. Right? That would be wrong.
But then she moaned again, and it was so breathy and full of pleasure, I was helpless to do anything but edge closer. I peeked inside, and my breath hitched.
Willow was naked, her hair fanned out on the pillow like a halo of dark waves. Her eyes were twisted shut, and her mouth was open on a silent gasp. My eyes traveled down her soft body, watching as she used one hand to knead her breast before pinching her pebbled nipple.
My hand slipped back into my boxers, and I wrapped it around my cock. Precum leaked from the tip, and I swiped my thumb over it before dragging my fist all the way to my base.
Her other hand was between her spread legs. I gripped myself tighter as she pumped two fingers inside her pussy before sliding them out and moving to her clit. My hips jerked forward, and I sank my teeth into my lower lip to keep from making a sound. My briefs were too tight, too constricting, and I hurried to pull them down my thighs. A ragged breath slipped out as my cock sprang free.
Fuck .
My grip was tight, almost painful, as I pumped myself in time with the hard thrusts of her fingers. She arched her back off the bed, her thighs shaking as she moved faster. Again, she pulled them out and moved them to her clit, as if she were teasing herself.
I braced my hand on the wall as I fucked my fist harder. I wanted to barge into her room and fuck her senseless. But I stayed where I was and watched as she rolled onto her knees.
She pressed her shoulders into the bed and lifted her ass high in the air. Her pussy spread open, giving me the perfect view as she slipped her hand between her thighs again. Slowly, she worked three fingers inside, and my nails dug into the paint.
“ ,” she moaned. I swore I blacked out at the sound of my name coming from her, breathy and desperate.
She pushed her hips back, fucking her own fingers, and my eyes rolled back. I moved my fist faster before reaching down to cup my balls with my other hand. Heat zipped up my spine, and my head fell back.
All I could hear, all I could focus on was the needy whimpers falling from her lips, the wet slap of her hand against her cunt. The bed squeaked with every movement she made.
A low growl rumbled through my chest as my orgasm spiked. I was so fucking close .
“Oh fuck,” she cried. “Oh fuck. I’m coming. I’m—I’m coming.”
“ Fuck ,” I grunted, dropping my head forward again. I watched as her thighs shook, her body convulsing with her release. I cupped my hand around my tip and let out another groan as my release barreled through me.
Cum filled my palm as I continued stroking myself, watching as she rubbed her clit faster. She was trying to make herself come again, and I couldn’t tear my gaze away. My cock was overly sensitive and began softening, but I couldn’t stop. Not when she was so close to her second orgasm.
“Come on, baby,” I whispered, my breathing harsh. “Come for me again.”
As if she could hear me, her back arched again, and she rolled her hips, pushing her ass out more. She screamed into the pillow as she came around her fingers again. For a moment, she stayed like that, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.
Slowly, she pulled her fingers from her pussy and rolled onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling, the tips of her breasts still hard and bright pink. My hand squeezed my cock again, begging it to come back to life. I wanted to come again while I watched her.
I wanted to go in there and fill her with my cum.
I wanted to do so many things, but I forced myself to stay put. To just watch.
She pushed herself up on shaky elbows and looked directly at the door. Her legs were still spread, the wetness gathered between them a taunt. As my gaze lifted to her face, and her eyes met mine through the sliver in the door.
My heart soared into my throat. I’d been caught. She was going to scream. She was going to call me a pervert and tell me she didn’t feel safe here anymore. She was going to pack her shit and go back to her house—even if she was still scared to be there, she wouldn’t have to be in my house anymore.
She wouldn’t have to be around me.
But then she smiled, and I knew this had been her plan all along.
“Not tonight,” she said softly, echoing my earlier words. My cock twitched in my hand at the unsaid promise in those two words.
Not tonight, but soon .
Without another word, she slipped off the bed. My heart was in my throat as she moved to the door. She paused for only a moment before she shut it, the click echoing in my head. Darkness surrounded me, but I felt far from alone— lonely .
I couldn’t stop smiling as I cleaned myself up and went to bed. Willow wanted me, and I wanted her.
Things weren’t fake anymore. They were very fucking real.
And Willow Gray was mine .