Willow
willow
D arkness greeted me when I opened my eyes. The air around me was freezing, like I was standing outside in the middle of winter. Reaching up, I felt the heavy weight of my migraine hat covering my head, and all the memories came rushing back.
Drinking too much last night and making a horny fool of myself in front of Ronan. The shared hangover with Gracie. The incident with Braydon. The migraine—Ronan taking care of me.
Everything hit me all at once, and I nearly groaned. Gently, I pulled it off, but it was still too dark in the room to see anything. The only light was the glowing red numbers from the digital clock on the nightstand, and I squinted, trying to make out where I was.
Ronan’s room .
The memory of him putting me to bed, gently taking care of me, made my face flush with heat. Not quite embarrassment, but with…something else. Something that made me feel a strange mixture of excitement and dread.
Because it was amazing— he was amazing. He was kind, and sweet in ways I’d never experienced before. But there was that line between us, the line I wanted to obliterate and pretend never existed.
With a deep breath, I sat up, feeling groggy, and rested my hand against my forehead. At least my head wasn’t pounding anymore.
I squinted at the clock beside me, the numbers nearly blinding. It was a little past two in the morning. I’d slept for nearly twelve hours. My mouth was dry, and my body was sore, but I felt good. Rested.
But if it was the middle of the night, and I was in Ronan’s bed alone…where was he?
My bladder screamed at me, and I slipped out of bed. I’d search for him later. I shuffled toward the bedroom door, ready to make my way to the small bathroom next to the guest room, but ran into something hard. There was a deep, male grunt, and I jolted backward.
Fear climbed up my throat, but I forced myself to push it down.
“?” Ronan rasped. I loosed a breath, my anxiety melting away. I could barely see him in the darkness. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is your migraine worse?”
“I’m okay.” I blindly reached for him, and he found my hand. Gently, he tugged me between his spread legs. The soft fabric of his sweatpants rubbed against my bare skin, and for the first time, I realized how naked I was.
Not that he hadn’t already seen me naked, but he hadn’t been this close.
“Where are you going? What do you need?” His thumb stroked the back of my hand, and I shuffled closer to him.
“Bathroom.”
Without a word, he jumped out of the chair and led me to the en suite bathroom.
“Are you hungry? Need more medicine?”
“I’m okay, Ro,” I muttered, a soft smile teasing my lips. “My head doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“Good.”
It was too dark to see his face, to know what he was thinking. All I could rely on was his voice, and I couldn’t figure it out. Was he upset that he had to take off work again? Upset he had to take care of me?
But I told him not to. I told him to go back to work, to leave me alone. I could take care of myself—I’d been doing it for years.
There was a brief second of hesitation, and then his lips found my cheek. He pressed a lingering kiss there, and I melted into him. “Do what you need to. I’ll get you some water.”
After finishing in the bathroom, I walked out, finding light pouring in from the now open bedroom door. It was far away, like he’d left the light above the stove on. I squinted as I scanned the room, finding him sitting in a chair— his chair from the living room.
“You moved that in here?” I asked, pointing.
“It was more comfortable than the kitchen chair.” He rubbed the back of his neck in a way I’d learned meant he was shy or uncomfortable. A grin tugged at my lips as I shuffled a step forward.
“Why did you bring a chair in here at all?”
“I wanted to watch you,” he murmured. “I was worried you’d need me but be in too much pain to call out. I just wanted to be close.”
Emotion clogged my throat as I stared at him. No one had ever done that before. Everyone always left me to deal with my migraines alone. Gracie made sure I had everything I needed but ultimately left.
But Ronan…
Of course he’d gone above and beyond. Of course he’d stayed with me. He’d made sure I was okay—that I was safe .
“I promise it wasn’t anything weird,” he blurted. “I’m not a creep?—”
“I know,” I choked out, the sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
My feet seemed to move on their own. I faltered with each step, unsure if this was the right thing, but I couldn’t stop myself. I stopped in front of him, and he tipped his head back to look up at me. The golden glow from the doorway was barely enough to highlight his strong features, to reflect in his eyes, but I could see him. I could feel him.
“You’re feeling better?” he asked, and I nodded. “Still tired?”
“A little.” I bit my bottom lip, my heart in my throat as I reached for his hand. He was everything I’d ever wanted in my life, the type of man I’d dreamed about when I was young. And here he was, just inches from me. “Are you tired?”
His thumb tapped against the back of my hand seven times. “Exhausted.”
We stared at each other for a few moments. My breath was uneven and too loud. My heart raced, and I knew he could feel my palms sweating. Gently, I tugged on his hand.
“Lie with me,” I finally said.
The air in the room shifted. Everything went still, but there was an electric charge connecting us. He didn’t move—I didn’t think he was even breathing.
After a moment, he let out a long breath, and when he spoke, his voice sounded strangled. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Please?” I whispered. His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “You’ve slept with me once.” A nervous laugh escaped as I stepped closer to him. “And you’ve already seen me naked.”
“—”
“Nothing has to happen,” I rushed out. “But…it could. If you wanted it to.”
He licked his lips, and I shifted my legs together. He had no idea what he did to me. “You’re still not a hundred percent,” he rasped.
“I promise I won’t break.” Another hesitant step closer. “I’m well enough for this—for you.”
I didn’t know if he even wanted this—if he wanted me—but I’d hate myself if I didn’t try. If I let him slip through my fingers because I was too scared to make a move. A real move.
I tugged on his hand again, and he stood. I knew it was only because he wanted to, and not because I had the strength to move him. He let me lead him to his bed, and I crawled across the mattress to my side, settling under the covers. A beat passed, then another. I held my breath as I waited, watching as he just stood there. His hands tightened at his sides as he stared down at the bed, and I could tell he was going through every scenario, trying to figure out the best one. The safest one.
But then he laid down, and I shuddered. Anticipation filled my body as the bed dipped under his weight. He was tense as he stared up at the ceiling, and I rolled my lips between my teeth.
Maybe this was a mistake. It was so awkward—maybe I’d misread everything. Today at the bakery, last night when he was outside my door, tonight with him watching over me.
Maybe it was all in my head.
I rolled onto my side, putting my back to him. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, and it would be easier if I didn’t have to see him. The bed shifted as he moved, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to find the strength to tell him I was going back to my room, that I’d leave him alone.
But then his hand rested on the curve of my waist, and my heart leapt into my throat.
“You’re sure you’re feeling better?” he asked, his voice low and husky.
“I’m sure.”
His arm fully circled my waist, and he easily dragged me across the bed, nestling my back against his front. My shirt rode up my body, exposing my bottom half, and I gasped as he shifted his hips forward—he was hard against me, his cock settling perfectly against my ass. I tried to even my breathing, but it was hard when his fingers toyed with the hem of the oversized shirt. All I had on underneath was my panties—panties he’d picked out.
“Tell me you want this,” he murmured, his breath ghosting along the back of my neck.
“I want this,” I said it instantly, without any hesitation. “I want you .”
His fingers dipped lower, playing with the elastic band of my panties. “If we do this…” My hips shifted back, grinding against him. A groan rumbled through his chest, deep and throaty, and my eyes rolled to the back of my head at the sound.
His other arm slid underneath me, and he pulled my back flush against his chest. I was completely helpless, tangled in his arms. Slowly, he brought his lips to my neck, and a shudder worked through my body. He kissed and sucked on my tender skin before he moved to my ear.
“You’ll take only what I give you.” He nipped at my earlobe with his teeth, his voice a low rumble. “Don’t be a greedy girl and demand more.”
He dipped his fingers below the waistband of my panties and teased the smooth, sensitive skin there. His other hand moved to my breast over the shirt and gently cupped it. My breathing was ragged, nearly a rasp as he found my hard nipple through the fabric and pinched .
“If we do this,” he repeated, “it will change things for me. I can’t go back to pretending after this. You’ll be mine in every sense of the word.”
His words echoed ones I’d thought days ago. If we slept together, it had to mean something. It had to be real .
“That scares me,” I admitted, my voice nothing but a breath. Even though this was all I wanted, it was true. It did scare me. It terrified me.
“It scares me too,” he murmured.
I squeezed his arm as I let out a long breath. My eyelids fluttered shut, and I let myself sink into this moment fully. I couldn’t live in my head for this. But, after being alone for so long,it was terrifying putting this much trust in someone.
“Please don’t break my heart, Ronan.”
He froze. Seconds passed, and I held my breath as I waited for his response. Was he going to pull away? Was he going to put a wall between us? Did he change his mind?
But then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the back of my neck. The kiss lingered for a long moment, like he was pouring everything he couldn’t say into it, into me.
“Never, baby,” he whispered. “I’ll never break your heart.”
“Okay,” I breathed, though it felt lackluster. “This is important to me—it means something. I want this to be real, too.”
“Good.” His fingers slid lower, teasing me. I wrapped my hand in the sheets as I focused on my breathing. It was the first time in years that a man was touching me like this, and I felt like a virgin again—awkward and clumsy, excited and nervous. “Put your leg over mine, and let me touch you.”
His words were low and guttural, a near-growl, and I obeyed, lifting my leg and sliding it over his. I felt spread obscenely wide, exposed in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time—maybe I’d never felt like this.
Slowly, his fingers inched lower. My heart raced, and spots entered my vision as I held my breath. Anticipation pricked along my skin, sending zaps of electricity through me.
Touch me , I silently pleaded.
His fingers danced along my body, stroking and teasing, slipping lower before retreating. I let my eyelids flutter shut. My breathing turned ragged, too harsh in the silent room.
Over and over, I begged. Touch me. Touch me. Please, touch me.
And then he finally did.
Thick, calloused fingers slid over my swollen clit, and I gasped. I gripped his wrist—I wanted him to touch me more, I wanted him to stop. It was so much. Almost too much. But somehow, impossibly, not enough.
“Does that feel good, baby?” he murmured, dragging his finger in a slow, lazy circle. I couldn’t speak—I could barely breathe. But I dipped my chin in a shaky nod as he squeezed my clit between his index and middle fingers.
My body jolted at the sensation, but his arms were an unforgiving vice holding me to him. His lips pressed against my neck before he sank his teeth into the flesh above my pulse.
“Ronan,” I gasped, my head falling back. He chuckled, and the sound vibrated through me.
“I know, sweetheart.” Slowly, he slid lower until he pressed a finger against my core. “How many do you think you can take?” No words came out as he circled my entrance. “I saw you take three last night. Think you can take three of mine? I need to get you nice and stretched out before I give you my cock.”
“Fucking hell,” I rasped. “Who knew you liked to talk so much?” He laughed again, this one darker, deeper. Like he was amused at the torture he was inflicting on me.
He continued teasing me, moving from my entrance to my clit until I was a shaky, desperate mess.
“ Please ,” I begged.
“Please what, baby? What do you want?”
“Touch me?—”
“I am touching you.” For emphasis, he pressed down on my clit, and I cried out, pressing my face into the pillow to muffle the sounds falling from my lips. “What do you want, ?”
“For you to be inside me,” I rasped, the words morphing into one breath.
I felt him smile against my neck as he pressed two thick fingers inside me. The stretch was almost painful, but it felt so fucking good. My nails dug into his arm as he pushed even deeper, then curled them.
“Oh my god,” I breathed. “Oh my god .”
His thumb moved to my clit, and stars flashed in my vision. Back and forth. Back and forth. It was too much—his fingers rubbing against my G-spot, his thumb on my clit. He plucked my nipple with his other hand, pinching and twisting until I was a mess.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn't think.
All I could do was feel everything he was doing to me.
“I love those little sounds you make,” he said, his voice rumbling through his chest. He dragged his nose along my neck, inhaling softly. “Let me hear you, baby. Let the whole world hear you.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. Not when he moved faster, harder . My orgasm teetered on the edge, my body coiling tighter.
“That’s it,” he murmured. “Such a good girl. Come for me, sweetheart. Come all over my fingers.”
I cried out as my orgasm blasted through me. I tried to close my legs, but he kept them wide open. His fingers never stopped moving—he never stopped pulling every ounce of pleasure from my body.
It took me a minute to come back down, and when I did, his hand was out from between my legs, and he was pressing gentle, lingering kisses along my neck. He smoothed his hand over my waist, like he was trying to calm me.
“That was?—”
“Amazing,” he finished. I pressed my hips back, feeling his long, thick cock harder than it was before. I licked my lips, my body ready for more. “We don’t have to do anything else tonight.”
My teeth sank into my lower lip. “But what if I want to?”