Chapter 21
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Dominic
Groaning, I placed the pillow over my throbbing head, wishing I could fall back asleep. It was Sunday, and I had the day off until Tuesday. But before I even opened my eyes, I already knew that all the activities I’d planned would have to be postponed until I got rid of this hangover.
I hadn’t felt this horrible in a long time. At least I knew what I could do about it. Drink a liter of water, take a shower, and then treat myself to a pizza and a Coke. How I wished I could just snap my fingers and skip all the steps that required way too much energy.
Even breathing under the pillow was exhausting, so I tossed it aside while moaning in pain. I felt like a wounded animal, desperate to disappear into the woods and die alone in misery.
After a while, I dared to open my eyes, only to be blinded by the bright sunlight streaming directly into my face. Slowly, I rolled onto my other side, trying to ignore the agony in my head.
I remembered everything. The wild party, the shots, and the moment with Kilian. After that, we …
Wait a second …
The sun?
This isn’t my bed.
I blinked, but this time the sheer whiteness of the bedsheet blinded me.
Not mine.
Kilian’s intoxicating scent clung to me as I lay there in nothing but my boxers. The sliding door at the foot of the bed was closed, and everything was eerily quiet.
With great effort, I forced myself up and sat on the edge of the bed.
Sitting up made my dehydrated brain scream in protest, and a sharp pain spread between my temples.
It felt like there was a steel bar on my forehead.
I rubbed my eyes and yawned. My clothes and phone were on the chair in the corner, but that could wait.
I sluggishly stood up and stretched, rolling my shoulders.
As I opened the sliding door, the bright sunlight stung my vision.
The living room was neat and empty. Kilian was probably in the kitchen.
Before heading there, I slipped into the bathroom.
I desperately needed to get the taste of alcohol out of my mouth and was glad to find the toothbrush I had used before.
After brushing, I splashed my face with cold water from the sink. At least that brought some relief.
With leaden feet, I headed to the kitchen.
To my surprise, Kilian wasn’t there. Just to be sure, I checked the balcony but no sight of him.
I retreated to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, drinking it eagerly before pouring myself more.
Leaning against the counter, I surveyed the room as I gulped down my water.
Next to the fridge was the empty bottle of orange juice I had brought him on Tuesday.
Maybe he went grocery shopping.
I set my empty glass in the sink, then shuffled back to the bedroom to check my phone.
It was 2 p.m., and there was still no message from Kilian, so I sent him one.
“Hey! I’m awake. Where are you?”
Once the message went through, I took a shower. I stood under the water for almost twenty minutes, replaying the night in my mind. Especially the moment with Kilian in the changing room stuck with me.
Fuck, man! I had been so damn hard! It was like I’d never had any issues with erections—and I’d already had a few beers by then. But Kilian had worked his magic. God! He’d even managed to calm my panic in time.
Not knowing how to categorize what happened, I tried not to think about it anymore. What bothered me more was that I was drifting further away from my original goal and turning back into the person I had been six months ago. Hungry for love and affection, addicted to the next orgasm.
Under the soothing stream of warm water, I massaged my cock, but it was hopeless.
I shut off the shower and snatched a towel, rubbing my hair dry. With the towel wrapped around my waist, I returned to the bedroom. There was still no sign of Kilian, and he hadn’t read my message yet.
As I slipped into a shirt, I scrunched my nose. My clothes reeked of cigarette smoke since smoking had been allowed at the party. Once fully dressed, I grabbed my phone and dialed Kilian’s number. It rang a few times before going to voicemail, so I hung up.
Where the hell is he?
I decided to leave the apartment since I wanted to get out of the musty clothes and eat something substantial to get rid of my headache. I reached for the single key hanging from the rack beside the door and locked up, then slipped it in his mailbox before heading home.
While I checked my phone constantly, Kilian was nowhere to be found.
I hadn’t heard anything from him, and doubts about myself started creeping in.
I reminded myself that we had just been having fun and there was nothing between us.
I even scolded myself for developing feelings for him and letting myself trust him.
Is he ghosting me?
We had such a great time at the party.
I tried not to let it drive me crazy over the weekend.
On Tuesday, I was back at the theater and planned to confront Kilian, but he didn’t show up.
“He took an impromptu day off,” Theo answered when I asked, after hearing Tim’s voice over the walkie-talkie.
My concern for him intensified as I wondered if he was okay.
To my surprise, Kilian reappeared on Wednesday as if he materialized out of thin air. He stood in front of the stage with Theo and Manuela, conversing with Sebastian, who was holding up two different fabrics.
Just seeing Kilian made my pulse race, and a wave of anger welled up inside me. Anger at Kilian, but also at myself.
How could I have been so stupid to trust him?
The guy lives completely in his own world.
It’s my fault for not seeing that earlier.
Still, I struggled to let it go. I needed to confront him.
I held back until Theo and Manuela settled in the front row, and as soon as Kilian made his way to the direction room, I intercepted him in the side corridor.
Though it was nearly impossible, I did my best to keep my emotions in check.
Just seeing Kilian in front of me stirred something inside me that I didn’t want to feel.
“Hey!” he greeted me enthusiastically, as if we’d just seen each other yesterday. “How are you?”
I took a deep breath to gather myself. “Where were you?”
“Out and about,” he replied in a casual tone as he touched my arm. “And you? How’s the hangover? Did you get over it?”
“That was three days ago,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him in suspicion, but before I could stop myself, my anger unleashed itself. “God! Kil! I tried to reach you!”
Kilian furrowed his brow, but his confusion and remorseful look seemed fake. That dark gleam in his eyes emerged again, the one that swallowed everything. Greedy and insatiable.
“I had Monday and Tuesday off.”
“That doesn’t explain where you were. Damn it! I woke up in your bed and was alone in your apartment. That’s not cool!”
“You were … oh …”
“What ‘oh’? Where were you?”
“I … damn …”
Kilian turned away from me and rubbed his forehead. He looked sleep-deprived but strangely alert, so I didn’t buy the awkwardness for a second.
“That’s why the apartment key was in the mailbox.”
He wasn’t that drunk when we went to his place on Sunday morning, was he? Unfortunately, I didn’t remember much after that and had just collapsed into bed, half-dead.
“You undressed me,” I said. “And then? Where did you go?”
“I went out again.” He seemed to squirm under my questioning gaze. “Sorry … I … Can we just drop it? This happened a few days ago. I’ll make it up to you. How about a beer? Before the show tonight?”
My jaw dropped, and I stared at him in disbelief. “Are you serious?”
“Look, I haven’t gotten much sleep these last few days, so …”
I tilted my head and studied him. “You’re not going to tell me where you were, are you?”
“I wasn’t anywhere,” he answered with a shrug, forcing a smile.
“With a woman? Or a guy?”
“Just trust me.”
“Trust? This isn’t really making it easy for me. I thought I could trust you, but …”
“You can. I didn’t do anything.”
“Except forget that I slept in your bed.”
It was impossible to hide my disappointment, and Kilian could see right through me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I screwed up. But believe me, I really am sorry. Please. What can I do?”
Before I could be drawn back in by his presence and charm, I shook my head and walked away.
I felt unsettled and baffled. He’d just shown me a side of himself that left me puzzled.
While it seemed like everyone at the theater was overlooking his erratic behavior, I started questioning why I should too.
Clearly, he didn’t think it was necessary to explain himself to me, which showed just how little trust he had in me.
How could I have been so stupid?