Chapter 9
NINE
After a terrible night of sleep, I see Harley off to swim training with a kiss and another reminder to keep the details of our night to himself, until I get the chance to speak to Ash alone about it.
He takes note of the haggard look I’m rocking, and the exhausted rasp in my voice, and nods along easily, cupping my cheek as he kisses me again softly.
I’m still not used to being treated like that, and I have to swallow around the lump in my throat as I head to the bathroom to have a shower despite how early it is, giving up on sleep entirely.
The hot water only helps for a second before I’m sighing and scrubbing at my face as if that’ll help me figure this shit out.
There’s nothing about this threat that’s simple; I can’t even tell Avery about it without a plan because her family or, more specifically, her father has always been a touchy subject.
I’m all for keeping my nose out of everyone else’s trauma, but their lives are on the line here and I can’t make a plan without knowing what the fuck is wrong with the senior Joseph Beaumont.
The way Avery has always danced around the topic, I know it’s Ash who has a problem talking about it, so he’s the one I need to speak to but getting him alone is impossible.
I’m already painfully aware of this fact, and I mean painfully, because I get to see him all day, speak to him, joke around with him, but I barely manage to hold his hand between classes.
He’s always affectionate toward me, snark and sarcasm included, but his extracurriculars are at the same time as Avery’s and with his sister around, I barely get more than a peck on the lips from him.
I feel so fucking guilty.
Blaise pins me to the bed most nights during our study sessions, and Harley has been sleeping over a few nights a week, kissing me senseless before the sun comes up and he has to leave for his swim practice, so it doesn’t really seem fair.
Fuck, why has it taken this threat for me to realize that Ash has been singled out and…
iced out, I guess? Fuck. It gets worse the more I think about it.
Sulking and trying not to show it, I bury my head in my textbooks for another hour before Avery’s alarm wakes her and she has a shower.
I make us both breakfast and she scowls at the mountain of French toast waiting for her, but she doesn’t call me out.
Then I make us both coffees and eat like it’s my last meal, which makes her really begin to eye me with suspicion.
It’s when I start washing the dishes that she finally breaks.
“Are you really that worried about me asking about your night? Why do you think I got you that suit, Lips? Honestly! I don’t care what you guys did, or where…
though I am going to have to organize to have the pool cleaned now you fucked Harley in it; I do use it occasionally. ”
I choke on my own spit and almost die. She screeches with laughter at my sputtering as she gets the coffee machine running again, making us both coffees to-go, and I could kiss her damn feet in gratitude. Even if she is trying to kill me.
“I didn’t fuck Harley in the pool! Or at all! Jesus, Aves. This has nothing to do with sex—it’s about Illi’s intel.”
Some of the amusement leaches out of her face as her brows pinch. “Really? That’s… surprising. The way you’ve been acting all morning, I thought you were feeling guilty about the guys again. The only time I’ve seen you like this was the first time Ash kissed you.”
Jesus fuck.
I scrub the pans harder, groaning softly under my breath.
“Maybe it’s a little bit about sex. Sort of.
Fuck, okay. I got some news and I need to speak to Ash about it, alone.
I was thinking about how to do that without causing a scene and it made me realize that I don’t spend any time with him.
Just him. I’ve been so busy with assignments, keeping everyone on track and avoiding all the gossiping bullshit in the dining hall that I've been neglecting him. I haven’t made time for him. I’m an asshole.”
She doesn’t immediately reply, and it takes me a full minute of scrubbing before I’m brave enough to look at her, but she’s just watching me closely. “Are you having second thoughts?”
The pan clatters into the sink as I drop it. “No. Not even a little bit, not for a second.”
She shrugs easily back. “Then you’re not an asshole, you’re just busy.
You’ve seen the other two because they’ve shoved their way into your schedule; Ash hasn’t.
It’s not all on you, Lips, and before you start on your next crisis, he’s definitely not having second thoughts.
I think he’s just… taking a different approach.
Honestly, I feel like he’s worried I really will kill them all if I catch them in here naked.
Which I might. But only them, you can do whatever you like—just don’t fuck any of them in the kitchen, bathroom, or my bed.
Or the couch. You know what, just stick to your bed and change the sheets immediately post-coitus. ”
I roll my eyes at her dramatics, the only reaction I can manage with the storm of emotions in my gut, and when I feel them bubbling to the surface, I finally just blurt it out.
“Look, we promised not to lie to each other so… I’m not going to lie to you.
I need to speak to Ash about a new threat we’re going to have to deal with.
I know he’s not ready to talk about the sheer fucked-up levels of bad that your father is, but the situation has forced my hand. ”
Avery stares at me for a second, then frowns and pulls out her phone.
“I’ll cancel tutoring with Blaise, tell him and Harley to stay away for the night, and Ash can skip track.
” She chews on her lip and then says, quietly, “I know you want to do this just with him, but I should stay, too. If it’s…
if it’s a matter of safety, I don’t want him skipping things or trying to make it sound…
less than what it is for your sake. He’ll try to shield you from it all like he does with me.
I mean, he shields Harley and Blaise from it, too. ”
My heart sinks all the way down to my stomach, but I nod.
The guys notice my mood the second they lay eyes on me.
Blaise quietly checks in, slipping me his iPod with a kiss to my cheek, but he lets it go when I shrug back to him.
When Harley tucks me under his arm with nothing but a scowl, it doesn’t take Ash long to figure out our late-night rendezvous is the culprit, and he starts in on his cousin for details.
Harley gives him nothing.
When their bickering starts to escalate into something vicious, Avery throws herself into the firing line because she’s the best fucking friend I could ever ask for.
It works but only briefly, because while Ash finally calls a truce with Harley, he arrives at our room in a vicious and argumentative mood.
Avery puts up with it for about three minutes before she throws a towel at his head and tells him to go cool off in the shower.
I make dinner and ignore them both, because I’m smart enough to know that you shouldn’t involve yourself in a fight between twins.
Avery dishes up our food and pours Ash a bourbon from her secret stash.
I raise my brow at the pint-sized glass she fills, because he’ll be slurring his words in no time with the way he drinks.
She shrugs and when the bathroom door opens, she leans in to whisper, “There’s no way he’s going to talk about it without a little something to loosen his tongue. ”
Fuck.
Nodding, I sit in my usual seat and take a deep breath, like maybe that’ll help me get through this without bloodshed; mine or his.
Ash hesitates for a second before taking the seat next to me, an icy look on his face even as he kisses the little wedge of skin that’s exposed on my shoulder thanks to Blaise’s oversized band tee I’ve, ahem, borrowed.
“Thanks for dinner. I’ve really missed the slum food since we got back to civilization,” he murmurs, and I roll my eyes at him while Avery kicks him under the table.
Turning in my seat to face him, I hold up a hand to stop the tirade that’s about to spill out of Avery, and Ash’s eyes narrow at her dangerously when she instantly stops to collect herself.
I’m quick to cut in before he can start shit with either of us, aiming for a neutral but warm tone despite how deeply unpracticed I am at it.
“No amount of shitty attitude is going to stop this conversation. I realize this isn’t something you want to do and I’m willing to offer you a trade; I’ll tell you my shitty stuff if you tell me yours. ”
From the corner of my eye, I see Avery’s eyes flare before she can hide it.
Her interest in what I’m offering to Ash as an incentive to talk is obvious and predictable; there’s a whole list of things she is desperate to ask but she’s also perfect and refuses to overstep with me.
Another reason I love the girl but I’ve given this a lot of thought, and there’s only one answer here that matters.
I’ll do whatever it takes to keep us all safe.
“What exactly are you asking me for, Mounty? Are we trading questions, like you did with Harley or are you just going to tell me all of it,” Ash says, his eyes icy as he glares at his drink. He hasn’t picked up the glass yet.
He might be avoiding meeting my eyes, but I’m taking in every inch of his face like I have a chance of reading it, despite knowing that his ability to hide behind a glacial demeanor is second-to-none.
No lie, there are members of the Twelve who would kill for half his smarts and capabilities.
Fuck, the Jackal wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand if they did.
Taking another breath, I shrug. “I need to know specific things, so questions would probably work better but the rules would be different. No passes, for either of us.”