Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
EVAN
MARCH
Wyles Bros and Hoes
Hannah
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE BOYFRIENDS ARE BOYFRIENDS? Evan, you are a freaking genius.
I grin down at my phone screen as I press the button for the elevator. Holding my pile of folders between the crook of my arm and my chin, I type out a response.
Me
I thought you might like that.
Jo
Like it? WE LOVED IT OH MY GOD.
Amelia
Literally I think that was the hottest scene I’ve ever read in my entire life.
Hannah
Cosign. The eye contact! The yearning! I can’t even. It’s brilliant.
Jordan
What the fuck is happening right now?
Jo
Evan made the boyfriends boyfriends in her fanfic world. Keep up, J.
Jordan
Doesn’t this conversation belong in the book club group chat?
Noah
No, it certainly does not. I’m not invited to the book club group chat on account of my Y chromosome, and my wife knows me well enough to know that this is a conversation I would want to be a part of too. Because fuck, Evan. Holy hotness.
Elliot
Fucking right. That was some of the sexiest shit I’ve ever read.
Amelia
But did you really read it?
Elliot
Fine, Amelia read it to me. Naked.
Amelia
K, I think they could have done without that detail, but I guess we’re in it now.
Hannah
I mean…kind of same?
Noah
Kind of nothing, Gorgeous. Definitely same.
Me
I’m weirdly flattered that all the after dark activities in the brownstone last night were on account of my mad, mad fanfic writing skills.
Jo
Oh my god, Evan please let us keep you forever. You are my favorite human.
Jordan
I’m right here, Hurricane.
Jo
I know and you know I love you, J, but did you write a sex scene featuring three people, four sex toys, two blindfolds, and a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs?
Cooper
No, he certainly did not. That honor goes to my girl and my girl alone.
Me
*takes a bow*
Noah
Seriously, take your crown, girl. You deserve it.
Jordan
Okay, shit, brb I’m going to read a fanfic.
Jo
NO DON’T READ IT NOW. Wait for me to read it with you later and I’ll make it worth your while.
Jordan
Sold.
Jo
Get home quick, J. This is worth skipping some surgeries for.
Amelia
My girl tells no lies.
Hannah
This group chat is my favorite place on earth.
Jo
Stick with the bros and hoes, Hans. We know what’s up.
Cooper
Is it weird that I’m, like, wildly proud of you for writing a scene that made all my brothers want to go have sex?
Me
Yeah, but nothing about us is normal. We hate fucked in a conference room six months ago and now we’re, like, eight weeks away from having a baby.
Cooper
But was it really hate fucking, or was it love fucking in disguise?
Me
Now there’s a question.
Cooper
One we will ask ourselves later when I love fuck you all over our apartment.
Me
You just really like saying our apartment, don’t you? It’s kind of like Noah and his “my wife” obsession.
Cooper
I really do. I anticipate being a little “my wife” obsessed myself one day.
Me
And who exactly are you calling my wife at this random point in the nebulous future?
Cooper
Idk, I was thinking of this gorgeous blonde with tits for days and a brilliant legal mind, who loves to give me shit, and is about to have my baby.
Me
Is “my baby” like “my wife” and “our apartment”?
Cooper
Now you’re catching on.
Me
Careful, Cooper, you’re veering into possessive territory.
Cooper
Over you? Always.
You ready for Milo?
Me
Totally ready.
Cooper
Sorry I can’t be at the meeting. Stupid continuing legal education.
Me
If you had spaced them out over the last two years like a normal human you wouldn’t be stuck doing twenty-five credits in the next eight weeks before your birthday.
Cooper
I procrastinate on things I don’t care about, and I could not give one single shit about the ethical issues for maintaining client escrow accounts because I don’t maintain client escrow accounts. That’s someone else’s job.
Me
Well, if you ever went out on your own, it would be your job, so it’s probably good information to know.
Cooper
Now there’s an idea.
I frown at the screen, wondering if Cooper is serious. It’s not a secret that he’s not exactly thrilled with this job, and to be honest, it’s been wearing on me too, lately, but going out on your own is a whole different thing.
Me
Okay well, I currently work here, and I have a meeting to get to, so gotta go.
Cooper
Love you. Miss your face. Kick ass.
Me
Count on it.
Love you back, even though your penchant for procrastination gives me stress hives.
Cooper
You’re so sexy when you talk big words to me.
Me
Focus, Cooper.
Cooper
Fuck, now all I can imagine is you saying that, naked.
Me
Do your continuing education like a good boy and that can be arranged.
Cooper
And now I’m hard. At work. Goddammit.
Me
My work here is done.
Laughing, I tuck my phone in my briefcase and step off the elevator on the conference floor.
I make a quick stop in the bathroom because the baby seems determined to stomp on my bladder all fucking day every day, which is the exact opposite of sexy, then head to reception where my client is waiting.
“Evan!” Milo Pierre, the founder and CEO of Pierre Pharma, stands with a grin as he holds his hand out to me.
I shake it, smiling back. “It’s really good to see you, Milo.
” I mean it. Most of my clients are corporate shitbag, dudebro-types, but not Milo.
He may own one of the most famous startup pharmaceutical companies in the world and be one of my biggest clients, but at his core, he’s a nerdy pediatric heart surgeon who loves science and wants to save babies, and he’s become something of a friend in the couple years he’s been a client.
For the past six months, we’ve been defending his company in a lawsuit filed by a bigger, more powerful pharma company alleging patent infringement for one of Pierre’s new drugs.
They’re greedy, deep pocketed shills who probably haven’t taken a science class since high school, and I’m in the process of kicking their ass.
Or, I would be, if Austin wasn’t trying to sideline me at every turn.
He always has, but it’s gotten much worse lately, and the only reason I’m even taking this meeting alone is because Cooper didn’t tell Austin that he was skipping it.
If he had, Austin would no doubt be swooping in, likely afraid I would have a female rage attack or something. Fucker.
“Great to see you, too,” he says, following me into the conference room I reserved and taking the seat across from me. “It’s been a while.”
His gaze drops to my belly for a split second before it flies back up. I can’t help but laugh at the embarrassment crossing his face. “It’s fine, Milo, you can say it. I am ridiculously pregnant.”
“Sorry,” he says, smiling sheepishly. “I belong in a lab. They really shouldn’t let me come out and talk to the people. Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” I say, flipping open the file I brought with me and clicking open my pen. “It was a pretty wild surprise.”
“Ah,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “My wife and I had one of those. That surprise is currently fourteen and waging a fierce campaign for her first phone, and I’m still not over the shock of it all.”
“Right?” I say, shifting in my chair to try and find a comfortable position, but then I give up because I’m enormous and comfort is a thing of the dark, distant past. “I’m still squarely in the I can’t believe this is happening phase. Luckily Cooper is a little more levelheaded about it all.”
“Cooper?” Milo asks, his eyes lighting with interest. “Like, Cooper Wyles, the other senior associate on this case?”
“The very same one,” I say with a shrug because honestly, it still surprises me too.
Milo grins. “Forgive me for saying this, but I always got the impression that you two weren’t each other’s biggest fans.”
I give Milo a wry smile. “You weren’t wrong. But it turns out that he is, unfortunately, my soul mate.”
Milo barks out a laugh. “Sounds familiar. My wife and I were med school rivals. We competed mercilessly for four years.”
“So, what happened?”
Milo grins wider. “She’s ten times smarter than I could ever hope to be. She beat me out for valedictorian by one tenth of a point, and the second we walked across the graduation stage I begged her to be with me forever. We’ve been together ever since.”
His obvious love for his wife has me grinning back at him. “Sounds familiar. I beat Cooper at all the things. I think he likes it.”
Milo nods. “He definitely does. Smart men know that the best thing they can do is find a partner who is way smarter than they are. Cooper strikes me as a smart man.”
I smile and nod. “He sure is. So should we talk about the case?”
“Let’s do it,” he says, leaning forward with his elbows on the table. “Tell me how you’re going to get those assholes off my back so I can start doing science again. No offense, but the legal stuff just bores me to absolute tears.”
“Well, lucky for you, I kill at the legal stuff.” I hand him a copy of the motion for summary judgment I finished drafting this morning.
I’m in the middle of explaining to him how the timeline works now that discovery is almost over when the door to the conference room bursts open and Austin strides into the room.
Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Milo!” Austin says in such an ass-kissing voice that I just barely resist the urge to roll my eyes. “I’m so sorry about this. I was just made aware that Cooper was not able to attend the meeting. If I would have known, I would have handled it myself.”
“Why?” Milo asks flatly, staying seated and blatantly ignoring Austin’s outstretched hand. “Evan is right here.”