Chapter 39
39
NICKY
I pull into my grandmother’s gravel yard, that ominous text message from Emma still lighting up the screen of my mind.
Emma: Nicks, we need you at home. You’ve got to come now. It’s about Grammy.
Those are words no granddaughter ever wants to read. Especially a girl who is as shamelessly codependent with her grandma as I am.
I hardly trust myself to park between the cars that are already stationed off to the side of the walkway. I’m too shaky.
So I cut my engine right in the middle of the yard and I jump out, running up the icy walkway. When I slip, it flashes through my mind that Ronan isn’t here to catch me.
I wish Ronan were here to catch me.
I wish he were here to hold me. Because I’m scared and everything always feels better when I’m in his arms.
It wasn’t great the way I handled things with him. I probably shouldn’t have left him the way I did. I should have told him that there’s been an emergency in my family. But when I got Emma’s message, something inside me froze over. The part of me that’s been so open with him these past few days, it shut down.
I’m not used to being vulnerable. I’m not used to saying I’m afraid. At least, not out loud.
So I did what I always do, and I acted like I’ve got it all together. And now here I am, with a clammy hand on Grammy’s front door.
When I step inside, kick off my boots and barrel into the living room, I see something I wasn’t expecting.
“Nicky!”
“Hey Nicks…”
“Sweetie, you’re here.”
Grammy sits on the couch, and she’s smushed between all the women in the family. I mean, everybody’s here.
My mom and all four of my brothers’ wives. Mason’s mother and his four younger sisters. Even Sparkle is toddling around the room.
“What happened?” I ask, crumbling to the floor at Grammy’s feet, my hands on her knees. “What’s going on? Why is everyone here?”
“Grammy fell again,” my cousin, Ruby, says in a whisper. “Last night. In the dark.”
Instant tears spring to my eyes as I rub her knees. “Oh, Grammy…”
She’s been struggling so much with her failing vision. There was that time when she almost burned down her house during family dinner, thinking she had turned off her oven when she hadn’t. And this isn’t the first time she’s fallen in the dark. How long until she seriously hurts herself?”
Her eyesight has been deteriorating for a while now. But by this point, it’s worryingly bad.
My mom speaks up, addressing her mother-in-law. “Maud, we love you very, very much. That’s why we’re laying down the law. You can’t go on like this.”
“You can move in with Harry and me,” Nadia says without hesitation.
“Too many stairs,” Grammy retorts in a huff. “And you two are always working anyway.”
Alana speaks up. “Davis and I can clear out the office on the ground floor and turn it into a bedroom for you.”
Everybody chimes in offering potential solutions.
My grandmother holds up a hand to silence us all. “No. I don’t want any of you turning your lives upside down for me. I’ve made a decision.”
The room collectively holds its breath.
“I’m doing the eye surgery. In fact, I called this week to book an appointment. I already have the date.”
This news is a shock to us all. Mason has been trying for months to convince Grammy to do this. He explained that the risks greatly outweighed the benefits and that he’d be with her every step of the way. But she has stubbornly refused the whole time. She said she was too old. She said she was afraid. She said she preferred to enjoy what little eyesight she had left instead of risking it all with a surgery.
And now she’s decided to take the leap.
I don’t think there’s a dry eye in the room. We’re all crying and hugging and asking questions and expressing our relief.
Above the noise, Grammy speaks up. “Stop with all the crying. It’s too gloomy in here. We need to lift the mood. This isn’t a funeral.”
Mason’s sister, Corri, offers a suggestion. “You know what I think we need? Female bonding time. A girls day. Manicures, face masks, and I’m not pointing fingers but some of you really need to get your eyebrows plucked.” She’s the esthetician of the family so she knows what she’s talking about.
“Don’t call me out like that, girl,” Nadia says with a laugh, touching her eyebrows.
Meghan claps her hands together. “This could be fun.”
Corri and her sisters hop up, heading for the kitchen and splitting the spa preparation tasks among themselves. The rest of the ladies follow after them, leaving Grammy and me behind.
I climb onto the couch and scoot close, leaning my head on my grandmother’s shoulder. “I’m really proud of you, Grammy. I know this was a difficult decision to make.”
She tenderly strokes my hair. “It was.” She exhales heavily. “But I don’t want to spend my life feeling afraid anymore. Mason is getting married, Sparkle is growing up and I miss seeing your sweet face in vivid color. If this surgery might give me the chance to improve my eyesight, I’m willing to take the risk.”
I squeeze her hand, feeling so inspired by her. “What gave you the courage to change your mind?” I ask her.
She grasps me by the shoulders and levels me with an excited smile. “Dearie, I…I’m in love.”