Chapter 20 #2
Elias turns to look at me immediately, eyes wide, worry sharpening behind his lashes. His whole body shifts slightly, tension crawling up his spine, the kind that makes you think someone’s about to bolt or beg. He’s watching my face like the answer is going to break him.
I grit my teeth, jaw locking tight against the throb in my chest, the low burn in my leg, the ache everywhere else. The pain’s worse than I want to admit. Sharp and deep, humming under my skin. But Elias is already unraveling, and I won’t be the thing that pushes him further.
“Five,” I say smoothly, too smoothly, my voice steady even though my whole body wants to flinch. It’s a lie and we all know it, but I sell it anyway, flat and even.
The nurse’s eyes flick up. Just once. She doesn’t call me on it, but it’s clear she doesn’t buy a goddamn second of what I said. Her expression doesn’t change, but the slow, deliberate nod she gives me is loaded. “Mhm,” she murmurs. “Crank it up for you.”
Before I can protest, before the words even form properly in my throat, she’s already at the IV line, pressing something into the port with clinical ease. There’s no room for argument. No pause.
And then it hits. The burn comes first, fast, hot enough to draw a gasp from my lungs. It tears through the vein like fire. But it’s gone as quickly as it comes, swallowed by the second wave.
Warmth.
The morphine slides in like silk laced with heat and thunder. My body softens immediately, sinking into the mattress, pain dulled to a quiet buzz under my skin. Elias watches me, wide-eyed.
“Better?” she asks, still tapping at her tablet, not even sparing me a glance as she says it, as if she already knows the answer.
I nod once, slow and heavy. It’s the only movement I can manage.
Elias still hasn’t let go of my hand. His grip hasn’t loosened, not even a fraction. His fingers are laced with mine. He’s watching me like the world depends on it, lashes low, worry clinging to every part of his body.
The drugs hit hard. Heat spreads through my limbs in a slow, syrupy crawl, softening everything it touches. My muscles unwind without permission, going loose and boneless until my body barely feels like mine at all. The pain dulls into something distant, wrapped in cotton and fog, muffled.
I sink deeper into the bed, pulled down. The edges of the room blur at the corners, colors fading to greyscale while the warmth stays—cloying and relentless. My eyelids flutter. Everything’s soft. Everything’s floating.
And then it happens—the switch, the shift—just like Elias on mango daiquiris, flirty and unhinged and unfiltered, with no warning and no brakes, as I turn my head toward him, my neck slow to follow and every movement molasses-slick, my eyes half-lidded and dark beneath heavy lashes while my mouth curves slow and lazy, like it forgot how to behave.
“You’re so pretty when you cry,” I murmur, rough as hell but relaxed. “Makes me wanna wreck you again. Right here. Hospital be damned.”
Elias goes scarlet in an instant.
Shane lets out a strangled wheeze from his wheelchair.
“Jesus CHRIST,” Mats mutters. “He’s high.”
“Higher than me after that green shot,” Shane whispers.
The nurse stiffens beside the bed but doesn’t even blink. “Right,” she says blandly, adjusting something on the monitor. “Looks like the painkillers are definitely working.”
“They’re working,” I grin lazily. “Everything’s warm. Especially—” I turn to Elias, flicking my eyes down to where our hands are still locked, “—my pup.”
Elias makes a noise that’s somewhere between a whimper and a squeak. His hand tightens in mine like he’s trying to keep me anchored, or shut me up through sheer grip strength alone. “I hate this,” he mutters into his shoulder.
“No, you don’t,” I slur, beaming up at him. “You love me. You were sobbing. Like a good little—”
“CAPTAIN.” Cole screams. “CHILDREN PRESENT. SOME OF US ARE INNOCENT.”
“Speak for yourself,” Shane mutters. “I saw you and Viktor playing footsie last night, bitch.”
“You saw nothing.”
“I saw enough to lose sleep.”
“I swear to GOD—”
“I’m gonna throw up,” Mats announces.
“Do it on Cole,” Viktor says without looking up.
The nurse turns and walks calmly toward the door, tablet in hand, expression a masterclass in neutral detachment. “I’ll be back when it’s less unholy in here,” she says over her shoulder.
“Bring lube!” I call after her.
“DAMIAN,” Elias gasps, face a disaster, pink from jaw to hairline. “Please shut up.”
I blink up at him, dazed and smiling. “You’re so bossy when I’m drugged. Kinda hot, baby.”
Cole slaps a hand over Elias’s mouth before he combusts. “He doesn’t mean it, curls. He’s just high. He’s on another planet.”
“Mmm,” I hum, turning my head toward the pillow. “Planet ‘Ride My Face.’”
Shane wheezes so hard he rolls backward an inch.
I turn my head lazily toward Cole, still sunk halfway into morphine-drenched euphoria, pupils probably blown to hell. Everything feels fuzzy. My mouth, my thoughts, the room, but not enough to stop what comes out next. “Did he fuck you yet?” I slur, squinting at Cole like I’m genuinely curious.
Cole turns crimson—full body, nuclear-core scarlet.
His mouth drops open, his eyes bug out, and he makes a noise that might be a gasp or a laugh or his soul leaving his body.
“Oh my GOD,” he groans, flailing. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I like the sadist Damian better.
At least he doesn’t ask if I’ve been railed in front of a team audience. ”
Viktor, leaning against the wall with arms crossed and zero intention of stopping any of this, just looks at me. One slow, unreadable eyebrow lift. Nothing else.
I grin at him, loose and molten, head flopping back against the pillow like I’ve been struck by the divine. “Don’t give me that look, Petrov. If anyone’s doing the fucking, it’s you.”
Shane screeches. Cole lunges for Elias like he needs a human shield. Mats audibly chokes.
“WHAT THE FUCK,” Cole yells, grabbing Elias by the arm. “YOUR BOYFRIEND IS brOKEN.”
Elias looks like he’s about to climb out the nearest window. “He’s medicated,” he hisses, turning so red his ears are blushing. “This doesn’t count! None of this counts!”
I hum softly, already sinking into sleep again, the edges of the world starting to smudge. My fingers find Elias’s and squeeze. “Still gonna marry you,” I mumble, lips barely moving. “High or not.”
Elias goes still for a second, then exhales a shaky, wrecked breath. “…I hate you,” he whispers.
My tongue’s heavy. My thoughts are syrup. But the second I feel Elias’s fingers still tangled in mineI say it. Quiet. Barely above a breath. “I love you,” I murmur.
And then everything starts to fade into white noise and warmth, into the soft hush of machines and the steady thunder in my chest that only calms when he’s near. I let the dark take me with his heartbeat under my skin, his hand still wrapped in mine.
Mine. Always.