16. Ladies & Gentlemen, This Is Orgasm #5 #2
“I swear to God, Garrett, if you don’t f-f-f- fuuuck . Oh my… oooh .” My back arches as the wand slides inside, stretching me just right, finding that spot that makes me shiver.
“Look at you, sunshine. Taking all of this cock like a good girl.” He presses warm, wet kisses to the inside of my thigh as he pulls the toy out and sinks it back in, slow, twisting as he goes. “What else? Tell me more.”
One broad thumb finds my clit, rubbing gently with agonizingly slow circles. All I can think about as I pant under his control is how badly I wish it were him inside me.
“ Jennie . Tell me, or I stop.”
“Krissy was being rude for no reason other than that she likes to exert her superiority over me just so she can hurt my feelings,” I blurt, tossing my head back with a moan as that magical wand hits my favorite spot, harder this time.
“Who’s Krissy?”
I tear at the sheet as Garrett plunges faster. “Another dancer. All the girls got together last weekend and she said…she forgot to… invite-me-oh-my-fucking-God , yes, please.” His thumb matches the tempo of the dildo thrusting inside me, making me whimper. “I don’t know why they don’t like me.”
“Fuck ’em. You don’t need them. You’ve got me. I like you.”
Garrett’s mouth trails up my thighs, trading between gentle nips and the wicked lash of his tongue, all while never giving up on the pumping, the delirious way he fucks me that makes me want to scream for more. Part of me wants to give it all up, and I’m talking about more than my body.
I can’t, though, so I’ll tuck it away like I always do. I’m so used to giving up only pieces of myself, I don’t even know how to be whole with someone anymore.
“Anything else?” Garrett asks, tongue swirling around my belly button.
He takes the purple gem between his teeth, giving it a little tug, and the simple action tows me closer to that cliff.
I’m about to throw myself off it, watching as he lowers his face.
“Go on, sunshine.” He flicks his tongue over that tight bud of nerves, teasing me. “Answer the question.”
“I-I-I—” I shake my head, clapping my hands over my face.
What’s happened to me? What has he done to me in only a matter of weeks?
I’m losing my mind, and instead of caring, I fist his hair, holding him in place as he laps and laves, and I spill my guts about the job offer, the potential new life that waits in Toronto after graduation.
Garrett’s tongue stops its lashing, and he slowly removes the toy. He lays his cheek on the inside of my thigh, pouting up at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that? And more importantly—” I gesture at my crotch, “—why are you not finishing dessert? I’m not above sitting on your face and making you.”
Garrett chuckles. “You can sit on my face any day, sunshine.” Slowly, he sinks the wand, smiling at my throaty groan. “I’m looking at you like this because you just put a time limit on the best fun I’ve ever had.”
I rock into his hand, silently asking for more, but he doesn’t relent. “The best fun? You aren’t even getting laid.”
“Don’t really give a fuck.”
“I don’t know if I want to go,” I admit.
His brows tug down. “Why not?”
“I’m not sure it’s, oooh , the future I want for my-my-myself.” I throw my head back as a mangled sound leaves my throat, part irritation, part pleasure. “Garrett, please .”
“We’ll talk about this later.” His gaze holds mine, playful, teasing, as he licks a leisurely path up my slit. “Now I’m gonna finish fucking you.” He promptly impales me with the dildo, his grin self-righteous and pleased when I cry out his name.
Garrett’s mouth suctions over my clit as he thrusts in and out, faster, harder, hitting that spot every time until I’m nothing but a whimpering, quaking mess, begging to come.
He grips my throat, gliding up my body, the touch of his gaze possessive and feral.
A pleasure so fierce unfurls in my belly as he brings me higher than I’ve ever been before.
“I fucking love watching you come, and I fucking love being the one to get you there.” His mouth takes mine in a searing, plunging kiss that leaves me breathless.
He rests his forehead against mine, watching me unravel.
“Come for me, sunshine,” he demands, and I do, nails shredding his shoulders as I cling to him, and he swallows his name as it leaves my mouth, over and over.
The pads of his fingers press deeper into my throat as he forces me to meet his gaze.
“You see how you could still talk through that? That won’t happen when it’s my cock inside you.”
* * *
“You gonna tell me why you don’t wanna take your dream job in Toronto?” Garrett’s hand closes around mine, bringing my spoon to his mouth, and I frown as he swallows my Corn Pops. He’s already had two bowls.
“Why does everyone keep saying it’s my dream job?”
“Isn’t it?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” At the look on his face, I laugh.
When he reaches for my spoon again, I shove it in my mouth.
“I wanted to dance, and I wanted to teach it. It’s just…
” I lift a shoulder. “My mind changes all the time. I spent my childhood dreaming of being a ballerina, dancing in The Nutcracker in New York. But then I grew up, and all my ballet dreams flew out the window.”
“So you don’t want to teach anymore?”
“I don’t know. I loved ballet, and it served its purpose in my life. It fueled my love of dance. But it’s not me. How do I teach something I’m not passionate about anymore? My passion lies elsewhere.”
“Contemporary?” Garrett asks, draining the milk from my bowl once I scoop out the last of my cereal.
I lean my elbows on the counter, drop my chin to one hand and twirl my hair with the other. “Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone before?”
“’Course.”
“I…I want to open my own studio. For kids. I want to teach kids to express themselves, to have fun. I want them to love dance as much as I did, as I still do. I don’t want to be that strict dance teacher, the one that makes you second-guess every piece of food you put in your mouth, that tells you your life doesn’t exist outside of dance.
There has to be a healthy balance between loving something passionately and letting it be a part of your life, but not the whole thing.
And honestly? I already miss my dad; I don’t want to put myself in a position where I’m forced to miss the rest of my family. ”
Garrett stares at me for a long moment that makes my skin crawl with apprehension, luring me back into that cave I should’ve never crept out of. It’s when he grins, taking my face in his hands and pressing a loud, sloppy kiss to my mouth, that my shoulders sag.
And I creep a little further from the shadows I’ve been so content to hide in.
“I think it’s great you’re able to be honest with yourself.
That you acknowledge what you want and what no longer serves you, or when you aren’t exactly sure what your next step is.
I also think it’s awesome you can look back on your dance career and recognize what didn’t work and what you don’t want to repeat one day when you’re the teacher.
I’m really proud to be your friend, Jennie. ”
My nose wrinkles as I drop my gaze to my feet, swinging from my stool. “Thanks, Garrett.”
He takes my hand, pulling me down. “Let’s go watch TV in bed. I’ll tickle your back.”
“Are you sure? You’ve got morning skate in seven hours.”
He twirls me into him, his mouth drowning my words. “Don’t care.” He smacks my ass. “Get in there.”
Tonight has been exactly what I needed to forget about my shit day. I have Garrett, and he makes me smile. I feel light again, and the disastrous bed makes me happy. One of us—Garrett says it was me—tore the sheet off the bed during orgasm number…four? Five? Five.
Okay, it was me. Sue me.
I find my dildo in the rumpled blankets and tote it to the bathroom for a good cleaning. She kicked ass tonight.
“Thanks for tonight, girl. You felt amazing.” I hug her to my chest and tuck her away. I turn to the now-made bed where Garrett’s lying, hands behind his head, ankles crossed, brow arched high on his forehead. “What?”
“Should I point out the obvious?”
I climb on top of him, straddling his hips. “What’s that?”
Fingers tangling in my hair at the nape of my neck, Garrett brushes a kiss across my lips. “That I would feel even better inside you.”
“Mmm. I think you’re forgetting the obvious.
” I rock into him, grinding down. His cock twitches and he moans, and I smile because I know.
The only thing that made it back on my body earlier was his T-shirt.
I’m soaked, again, and now his boxer briefs are too.
“I haven’t had a cock inside me that wasn’t made of rubber for years.
It’s like I’m brand-new down there.” My mouth slides along his collarbone, up his neck, hovering at the shell of his ear.
“Tight. Warm. You’ve never felt anything like me, and it’s the only place you want to be.
I don’t even know what it’s like to be with a real man, and you’re dying to show me.
” Reaching down, I collect the moisture between my legs, showing Garrett my glistening fingertips before I slowly suck myself clean.
“So if anyone’s thinking about how good it would feel to have you inside me… it’s you, big guy.”
Garrett flips me onto my back, wrists in his tight grasp on either side of my head. “Trust me, sunshine. I haven’t forgotten.” He nips my jaw. “I can’t wait for you to let me in one day.”
“You think I’m just gonna let you into my Disneyland?”
“You’re not just gonna let me in; you’re gonna invite me in.” He drags his thumb along my lower lip. “Might even lock the gate and keep me from leaving.” Bending his neck, he trails the tip of his nose along my jaw. “I’d treat you so much better than your ex did too.”
My blood runs cold at his harmless words, except they aren’t harmless to me. Garrett’s heated gaze turns to one of confusion and then concern as he watches me shut down. He shakes his head, but it’s too late; I’m already shoving him off me.
“Jennie. I didn’t know…I don’t…Fuck, I’m so shit at talking sometimes.” He runs an aggravated hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything, okay?”
But I don’t know if I can. Today has been one reminder after another that there are people who never wanted to be in my life for the right reasons, and the first person to own one of those special titles was the very ex Garrett is referring to.
Kevin greedily took whatever I was willing to give and left me with nothing.
Why I prefer being self-sufficient begins with him and continues with people like Krissy and Nate.
And the reminder is suffocating.
But as I scurry into the bathroom, closing myself in, I tell myself Garrett isn’t Kevin. He’s not Krissy, or Nate. He has no reason to want me for anything other than me. Garrett is kind and genuine, and he’s not them.
Leaning against the door, I lay my palm over my pounding heart. As I focus on breathing, it slows to a gentle trot, leaving me with the silence that stretches beyond the door. Have I scared him away? Did he leave before things could get more awkward?
I don’t know why my heart starts galloping again when I find him tucked beneath the blankets, scrolling through Netflix.
He pats the spot beside him. When I slide in, he pulls me into his side, winds an arm around me, and trails his fingertips over my back. It’s when he brushes a kiss to my hair and tells me he likes lying with me that I open my mouth and blurt out the only bad part of my day that I left out earlier.
“Somebody at school asked me out today.”
“Goddammit.” He groans. “I thought I had more time.”
I giggle softly. “I’m not going.”
“What? Why not? Not cute?”
“He was very cute. He just…” I watch my finger trace a random pattern into the bed sheets. “He didn’t want me. He wanted Carter.”
And something else, maybe. My mind flashes back to those words, the ones he spoke after mentioning Carter. My friends are big fans of your work . I close my eyes to the feeling, swallow down the fear, and tell myself the parts I want to keep safe are safe. I just hope it’s not a lie.
“His mistake. He’s missing out on the chance to know an incredible woman.” Garrett forces my gaze to his. “Don’t make this your problem, Jennie. It’s a reflection of him, not you.”
But what if I never get the chance to show someone who I am beyond my last name? What if nobody bothers to look? That’s…that’s what hurts the most.
Instead, I lay my cheek on Garrett’s warm chest and nod.
We choose Brooklyn 99 , laughing quietly together as he tickles my back, any lingering tension melting away.
“Hey, uh, listen.” His fingertip dips around my shoulder blade, then loops down my spine, and I’m pretty sure he’s writing his name. He clears his throat. “I can’t come to your recital next week.”
“Oh.” Without thinking, I start rolling toward the edge of the bed, putting distance between us. Garrett pulls me right back.
“Hey, stop it. You’re not going anywhere.” He drops his lips to the spot below my ear. “I’m flying home on the twenty-third for Christmas, but I checked out the program online, and there’s gonna be a livestream.”
“You’re gonna watch still?”
“Fuck yeah. I don’t wanna miss you kick ass up there.”
My face warms, nose wrinkling. I grin at him. “I’m gonna be the best.”
“I know you are.” His fingers land on my ribs, tickling, and I all but shove a knee into his crotch as I roll around like a feral animal trying to escape.
He shoves me to my back and climbs aboard.
“Your grand finale should be you nailing Simon Syphilis in the balls. Your standing ovation would never end. You’d hear me all the way from Nova Scotia.
Woohoo,” he whisper-cheers. “Fuck yeah, Jennie!”
I giggle, struggling against him.
He trails the tip of his nose across mine and touches a kiss to my lips. “Gonna kinda suck not seeing you for a few days.”
There’s that damn gallop again, no rhyme or reason. “I’m irresistible. One can’t help but miss me when I’m not around.”
Garrett turns me back over so he can go back to trailing his fingertips over my back, and my eyelids flutter closed.
“It’s true,” he says as the motion of his hand on my back lulls me to sleep. “You are very missable.”
When I wake in the morning, it’s to a package of Banana Crème Pie Pop-Tarts on my pillow and three text messages from Garrett.
Bear: U snore like a trucker. Had to get the fuck outta there before I smothered you with a pillow.
Bear: Just kidding. U looked cute as fuck. Didn’t wanna wake u.
Bear: *kiss emoji* Have a good day at school, sunshine.
I can’t remember the last time my smile felt this genuine.